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Harasenna

I'm upset and need support!

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Hi,

I just registered on this site because I really want some support. I'm a 28 year old woman with acne. Everything about my acne bothers me, but what bothers me most are the pustules that form most days, a lot of times all over my face. I feel so embarrassed by them and I feel so bad about how I look when my face is broken out with them. This has been going on for years. For a long time I have just given up and coped with it without pursuing dermatological treatment. Now I'm seeing a dermatologist regularly. But it makes me want to crawl under a rock and hide. I want to enjoy my life, go out with friends, feel comfortable interacting with others at work, etc, but when I have pustules all over my face day after day I just feel horrible and like hiding. I think the quality of my life is definitely affected by my skin condition. And for sure, although acne runs in my family, my high anxiety levels in general plays a huge role in it. I'm trying to work on my anxiety, but acne flare ups increases my anxiety, and I feel as if I'm caught in a vicious circle. Can anyone relate to how I feel. I don't want to let my skin limit my life, but I'm finding it really hard not to. Thank goodness I see the dermatologist again in a week and a half. By the way, I'm using Retin A Micro, BenzaClin, and Salicyclic/Glycolic pads on my skin as prescribed. I've been using Retin A Micro and BenzaClin for at least a couple months. Thank you so much for listening. Also, I finally broke down and cried today because of how bad I feel and talked to my dad about it. He suggested telling the dermatologist about my low self-esteem and upset over my acne.

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Hi,

I just registered on this site because I really want some support. I'm a 28 year old woman with acne. Everything about my acne bothers me, but what bothers me most are the pustules that form most days, a lot of times all over my face. I feel so embarrassed by them and I feel so bad about how I look when my face is broken out with them. This has been going on for years. For a long time I have just given up and coped with it without pursuing dermatological treatment. Now I'm seeing a dermatologist regularly. But it makes me want to crawl under a rock and hide. I want to enjoy my life, go out with friends, feel comfortable interacting with others at work, etc, but when I have pustules all over my face day after day I just feel horrible and like hiding. I think the quality of my life is definitely affected by my skin condition. And for sure, although acne runs in my family, my high anxiety levels in general plays a huge role in it. I'm trying to work on my anxiety, but acne flare ups increases my anxiety, and I feel as if I'm caught in a vicious circle. Can anyone relate to how I feel. I don't want to let my skin limit my life, but I'm finding it really hard not to. Thank goodness I see the dermatologist again in a week and a half. By the way, I'm using Retin A Micro, BenzaClin, and Salicyclic/Glycolic pads on my skin as prescribed. I've been using Retin A Micro and BenzaClin for at least a couple months. Thank you so much for listening. Also, I finally broke down and cried today because of how bad I feel and talked to my dad about it. He suggested telling the dermatologist about my low self-esteem and upset over my acne.

Hey,

well i got mine at 15 and it went but i did use Accutane...if it's as bad as you said it wa ("all over my face") then you should give accutane a go cause it can work wonders...BTW if i was you I wouldn't tell the derm about ya been depressed or anything cuz if you want accutane...they usually dont give it to people who are depressed bad (I THINK...dunno for sure) cuz it causes some pretty mad as fook depressive mood swing (i had a fair few lol) so just keep that hush hush if you are considering the tane.

I understand where you feel like crawling up and not doing anything becuase of anxiety...as im sure everybpdy here...as u probabaly know these times come and go...then sometimes it builds up and like ya said..u break down crying to people and scream for a solution...but it's only you who can make you change how you feel on the inside (not on the outside obvo) but just think of what you can do with yourself in that powerful brain thingy we all have and put it to good use with trying to build your confidence...nobodies perfect....anxiety is a bitch...i

had it bad back then...and it is very hard to stop it..but i found that by forcing myself out there i got more and more used to life with my acne...hell i even got a fit flawless skin girl for a good 4-6 months when i was overcoming my anxiety from the acne (i was never severe just minor but god i am 1 big girl when it comes to stuff like this...and through letting it get to me so much...i caused myself so many problems at the time)

looking back what i just wrote AND considering your 28 and I'm 18..."advice" from a kid like me is probably useless...but hey thought i'd write ya something and tell u about my experience.

R-etina is good ! ! ! takes a whil for it to work tho...plus it proper irrates ya skin sometimes.

ever want support jus ask...or better yet ask more experienced people here

:D

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This may help. I wrote it sometime ago.

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/I-t211389.html

How do we accept our place in life? Will ever truely know who and what we are meant to be in this short time we are all given?

I have come to accecpt what i am in this part of my life.

I am not a leader, I am not a follower, I am not rich nor am I poor, I am not an artist, I am nobodies saviour. I may never achieve what I want to achieve, I may never see the countries I want to see, I may never find the love of my life and I may never truely find I want for myself.

However through everything I have seen, evertything that has happend to me and my family, everytime someone who i care about gets hurt, everytime I get knocked down and I feel like I can't get up.

I am the guy who refuses to give up. I am the guy who refueses to be stopped, I am the guy who continue forward no matter what life throws at me.

In my mind, I'm 10ft tall and bulletproof, and as long as there's still a breath in my body, I will never give up. I will always fight for the things that I want, I may lose, I may lose big, but at least I can say that I took the chance, and came out in one piece. If there's nothing ventured, there is nothing gained. These are the words I live by.

I hope my words in some way help someone, even if it is just one person then this was worth writing.

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I can completely relate to the suffering and anxiety you're feeling right now. I agree, it is a vicious cycle, if my skin looks decent, I'll be productive, happy, outgoing, confident...but if it's broken out...a totally different story. My roommates are lucky if they can pry me from the "safe" confines of my bedroom.

I went through a pretty rough time there for awhile. My anxiety was through the roof. I could barely get myself ready in the morning. I decided it was time to do something about it. I did two things: made an appt with a derm and therapist.

My therapist is AMAZING! She helps me to understand that a lot of my anxiety and stress over my skin comes from cognitive distortions. Meaning, there is a kernel of truth (that my skin is a little broken out) but that I take my skin issue and blow it into something so much bigger than it is. It's a little like an eating disorder for me, and it's rather obsessive.

I also got lucky and found an AMAZING derm. He saw my skin, noted that I was 24 years old and not growing out of my acne and let me go on accutane. Well I am on month four, and I have cleared up a lot. Trust me, it isn't perfect yet, but I am OK with that (in part because of my therapy). Accutane is a long and tough road, but I believe it will be worth it.

Now I am taking 100 mg of accutane and 25 mg of Lexapro (anti-anxiety med). I am slowly but surely coming around. I understand the pain of adult acne (esp when you're in a fast paced working environment). Ask your dr. about accutane and see if you can't talk some of this out with a professional therapist. I doubted it would help, but it has...tremendously. Feel free to PM me for anything, support, questions, anything!

-Laura

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Hey there! I'm a 28 year old woman and going through the exact same thing as you...except I'm not seeing a dermatologist. Because of my acne it limits the things I want to do, especially in the day time it seems...would I ever love to just get outta bed and go....I came off the pill that I was on for over 10 years and my acne is back like how it was when i was 12 and 13...the reason why I went on birth control pill was for acne...I really want to find a holistic cure rather than going back on antibiotics and birth control pills. I tried so many things, tetracycline, minocyline, pro active, all the acne washes out there! So this is my second day trying the apple cider vinegar way, drinking a tiny tiny bit in the day, and also applying a bunch on my face...I like the way it tingles on my face...I'm also taking a bunch of supplements that include vitamin A E D C zinc chromium cod liver oil, fish oil and probiotics...i'll keep you updated on the progress...good luck to you too...trust me, i know how you feel, it drives me crazy that I'm 28 and not grown out of my acne...lets find a cure for our bodies and make this acne disappear for good!

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I can completely relate to the suffering and anxiety you're feeling right now. I agree, it is a vicious cycle, if my skin looks decent, I'll be productive, happy, outgoing, confident...but if it's broken out...a totally different story. My roommates are lucky if they can pry me from the "safe" confines of my bedroom.

I went through a pretty rough time there for awhile. My anxiety was through the roof. I could barely get myself ready in the morning. I decided it was time to do something about it. I did two things: made an appt with a derm and therapist.

My therapist is AMAZING! She helps me to understand that a lot of my anxiety and stress over my skin comes from cognitive distortions. Meaning, there is a kernel of truth (that my skin is a little broken out) but that I take my skin issue and blow it into something so much bigger than it is. It's a little like an eating disorder for me, and it's rather obsessive.

I also got lucky and found an AMAZING derm. He saw my skin, noted that I was 24 years old and not growing out of my acne and let me go on accutane. Well I am on month four, and I have cleared up a lot. Trust me, it isn't perfect yet, but I am OK with that (in part because of my therapy). Accutane is a long and tough road, but I believe it will be worth it.

Now I am taking 100 mg of accutane and 25 mg of Lexapro (anti-anxiety med). I am slowly but surely coming around. I understand the pain of adult acne (esp when you're in a fast paced working environment). Ask your dr. about accutane and see if you can't talk some of this out with a professional therapist. I doubted it would help, but it has...tremendously. Feel free to PM me for anything, support, questions, anything!

-Laura

Hey,

Thanks for the response (and I'm sorry that I'm not able to respond to everyone!). I'm glad to hear your skin, and you, are feeling better with the treatment you are getting. I'll bring up Accutane with the dermatologist (who I was able to reschedule with and get an appointment for this Monday...yay!), but I have a feeling Kaiser Permanente (my medical insurance) errs on the safe side and does not prescribe Accutane for those who don't have cystic acne. But I will still try. I'm going to tell them about how I feel about my acne too. Maybe they haven't prescribed me Accutane before because I have a long history of anxiety, disabling at some points of my life, which has been treated at Kaiser also. I have just recently started therapy again to really tackle my anxiety. I take Paxil 10 mg now. My self-esteem in general is higher than it's ever been before, and I have a relatively productive life despite the ongoing anxiety, including anxiety related to breakouts. I think lowering my anxiety will be key to helping clearing up my skin. Another thing that causes me anxiety is the fact that I have acne scars (they would probably be medically classified as mild). I feel bad that I caused this by my high anxiety which influenced the breakouts and picking and scrubbing at my skin. I'm really trying to change my perspective and do what I can now to relax and treat my anxiety and skin and not engage in a lot of self-blame cause I guess you can't go back in time. I'm so glad I decided to post on this website because these are things I really just don't talk about with other people. It feels good to know that others understand what I'm going through and can relate. Cause it's easy to feel all alone in this, especially when you don't share with others. I talk to my parents about it, cause it feels more comfortable to share this with them then anyone else. I'm really ashamed to admit that I haven't mentioned my skin concerns to my therapist. Definitely we are discussing many other things, including really the core issues I have that cause anxiety, like fear of what others think, fear of letting others down, etc. I'm just so embarrased to bring up my anxiety of what others think of me because of my skin. I also don't want him to really notice my skin! I'm not sure if it is really that important to bring it up with him anyway (although it may be!), especially since I have other things that cause anxiety and this is just another worry of mine. I just don't know! I probably should let him know about it though, so he can get a complete idea of my worries. I'm just so embarrassed! Okay, enough rambing. And thanks again :D

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