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ugly_skye

Shut up mum, you don't understand...

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I'm so sick of my insensitive family who don't give a shit about my problems and seem to resent me for not being perfect.

I was in the bathroom today, I got teary because again, I had a nasty breakout, and have recenlty developed melasma from the contraceptive pill. My mother asked what was wrong and I said "this f*cking acne all over my face, 10 years of this shit I cannot take it anymore" and my mother's fantastic response was "you need to learn to love your acne", what the?

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i have had acne for over 10 years too and my mom doesnt understand. its actually caused several fights lately. i try to vent and tell her how acne affects every aspect of my life and she thinks i need to get a "real problem". She has never had acne, so how could she understand? she always says things like "who cares what other people think about your skin?" and i try to explain its not about OTHER people... its about how i feel. i am at my wits end with this mess so i finally started accutane 7 weeks ago. the initial breakout has been so bad that i dread going to work and school and i stay home and hide on the weekends. i just wish she could spend a day in my shoes and see how self consious acne makes you. i often find my self daydreaming about having clear skin and how carefre i would feel. we'll see if accutane ever gets me there. im sorry your mom doesnt understand how you feel.... but i do!

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i have had acne for over 10 years too and my mom doesnt understand. its actually caused several fights lately. i try to vent and tell her how acne affects every aspect of my life and she thinks i need to get a "real problem". She has never had acne, so how could she understand? she always says things like "who cares what other people think about your skin?" and i try to explain its not about OTHER people... its about how i feel. i am at my wits end with this mess so i finally started accutane 7 weeks ago. the initial breakout has been so bad that i dread going to work and school and i stay home and hide on the weekends. i just wish she could spend a day in my shoes and see how self consious acne makes you. i often find my self daydreaming about having clear skin and how carefre i would feel. we'll see if accutane ever gets me there. im sorry your mom doesnt understand how you feel.... but i do!

Thanks for your post Adrienne. My mum always says "get a real problem" and "who cares what other people say about your skin" and it's always the same frustrating argument. I would love some support and understanding from my family, but I really don't think that will ever happen.

Good luck with the accutane. Can I ask if your acne is hormonal or not?

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i honestly dont know what causes my acne... i think some of it is hormonal, and some isnt. ive tried 6 different birth control pills, which helped my acne but it is still pretty bad. ive tried pretty much everything, so hopefully accutane works (so far... it hasnt). i think my mom is STARTING to understand how acne affects me since the accutane has made it so much worse. i dont know who else to talk to about my frustrations with my skin... so acne.org has been a great support system

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I'm sorry about your situation. My mom didn't really understand either. I'm a guy, and when I was 18 I started to cry about my acne and I told my mom I didn't want to visit my friends/family back home. I'm not ashamed about admitting it. Anyway, I guess that finally made mom understand and she took me to a dermatologist.

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ive cried many times over my skin. especially when i try SO hard to have clear skin and nothing works. acne is very hard on a persons emotions. no shame in being upset over it

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Well, I am not a parent, but being an adult and living away from home has given me perspective on parental behavior... I don't know the dynamic of your relationship with your mother, but try and see things from her side...

It is frustrating to a parent when their kid is hurting and there is nothing they can do about it. Your mom has no solution for you...so she fumbled for some line she hopes will be of some comfort. The "love your acne" sounds very much like the "love your body" line that people throw around to get over body insecurity. Your mom is just telling you that the acne isn't diminishing your worth. She put it oddly, but I would bet she meant well. As for her others lines, it looks like she is doing the tough love things to help you keep your acne in perspective.

People cannot read minds, so sometimes we have to tell them what we need from them in terms of support. I've had to tell my mom that sometimes I just want her to listen and say "I'm sorry" and give me a hug or something. My mom tends to like to give advice (hmm...now we know where I get it from :silenced:) and not enough comfort. It's her way of being helpful though.

My family can still be insensitive to my skin woes, and I've had to sort of train them to react more encouraging towards me instead of trivializing my feelings...

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I don't think my parents have ever understood, father or mother. But hey, at least now that I'm clearin' up it doesn't matter. I once told them to check out this site's forums and sent them lots of articles from psychological journals about acne. They'll never understand. Part of me is sad about that, because this pain has been my every reality for so long.

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Heheh. My parents are the same way. My dad feels I am overstressing it and the days I skipped school and my dad would sit there and stare at me for hours makin me feel like complete shit asking me what the hell my deal was. I never told him because I knew if I did he would go 'thats ridiculous' and pretty much make me feel as bad as the acne itself. One day after he had had enough of me skipping school when I was REALLY depressed he finally started guessing and I didnt want to hide it any longer. So he finally guessed the problem he went 'is it your face?' and I said yeah it pertains to that. I realized that it wasn't the fact that I had acne that was making me upset. I mean the acne of course made me upset but the thing that was killing me was the fact that I had tried so hard and was so committed and confident about clearing it up and on some days I would just get huge ugly breakouts. Like I remember when I was going for about a week on one of my diets and all of a sudden that saturday I had gotten a group of zits on my forehead and then this nasty patch of skin that was really really dry and worsened the effect of them. My entire face was red and I felt like such shit and it was just devastating.

I still have problems with my parents cause they don't understand. Neither of them had it when they were kids so they're like 'what th ehell is his problem whining over something thats not a big deal'. But it is a big deal to us, as we all know.

I finally brought back some happiness into my life today walking around in school. I started thinking of all the things that make me me, all my qualities that I know about that I value for myself. It made me feel great for a second, then I kinda came back down but I wasn't as bad off as I was before that. I was like 'hey, who cares what people think, I got this, I do this, Im like this' and I just sorta made a list. Its hard to do when you're feeling down I know, believe me I know.. but you'll get through it and I know you will cause I've felt more hopeless than Robert Johnson after he sold his soul to the devil (haha..blues trivia there.) I've done a lot in my life, lost best friends, lost family members (as many of us have..), was a stranger thrown into a strange place and hated it for 6 long years. You'd have to know my whole life story to even begin to know how bad I have felt at many many times throughout my life, even before acne. When I moved to where I currently reside I felt like nothing would ever feel worse. I could elaborate but this is not my story its yours, so I won't. Basically though, I may be young but I've been through some rough, rough times, rougher than I think a lot of people (especially my age) go through. But I have made it through so far, and I will make it through to the end, acne or not. No matter how hopeless you may feel at times, you will always come back up.

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Thanks for all your replies. I know my mother wasn't intentionally trying to upset me, but somehow she always does. I too, have told my parents they should see this site, so they might understand what I go through and that I am truly not the only person in the world who gets emotionally affected by this shit. Of course, they were not interested. I honestly wish people would stop asking me what's wrong when I'm in the bathroom and I'm crying because I don't want to be told that my reason for crying is "pathetic". I think looking like a monster is a justifiable excuse.

Anyways, It's great to come to these boards and get support from people who understand, it really does help. I'm sure many of you will come and go, but I'm pretty sure I'll be here for years to come. My acne ain't going anywhere.

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Seems like there's a lot of good advise to be had, I feel warm inside.

I still think go the poison, just enough to knock the wind out of her sails, I didn't mean for you to kill her.

"pathetic" , I don't think it's pathetic to be dissatisfied with your appearance when you have acne, but I think taking tangible steps to fight it can make the situation feel a lot less overwhelming or hopeless. (I like the cookie monster, he doesn't even eat those things!)

Your quite old (NO OFFENSE), I hope you've being trying different acne medications from a dermatologist. I used to deal with my acne by trying to ignore it, that was a useless waste of time, and in hindsight one of the most psychologically destructive options I had.

Good luck anyways.

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how was her comment to you harsh at all?

you need to fucking get over yourself. You get mad at your mom for nothing? if you were my daughter id cut you off until you showed some fucking respect.

drama queen, one day youll get yours and you will see how ugly this world can really be.

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I'm one to get offended at others comments, but this is ridiculous. I understand your pain, but sometimes it's not all about you, others have feelings as well. She didn't even say anything that should have set you off. If I had a mother or father, I'd appreciate them, something you should do. I agree with the post above mine, get over yourself.

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Maybe Mebe, you should keep your opinions to yourself when you know nothing of my life or my relationship with my mother. If you ever have children, I feel very sorry for them because you are clearly a narrowminded, heartless cow.

Why the hell are you even on these boards?

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Maybe Mebe, you should keep your opinions to yourself when you know nothing of my life or my relationship with my mother. If you ever have children, I feel very sorry them because you are clearly a narrowminded, heartless cow.

Why the hell are you even on these boards?

Because a lot of people on here don't share your opinion about me. I'll be a great father, I know that. I'm not narrow minded, I'm just aware that even when my day is bad, I should still respect others. I'm an adult. Bye.

I replied the same as Mebe, so i took offense. Though Mebe was very rude.

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While my post may have appeared as if I'm a drama queen, you really don't know anything of my life. If I had said my parents were drug addicts who only care about themselves then perhaps you would see things my way. My mother's comment may not have been that bad but it was just the icing on the cake.

I would really like to close this post now anyways, I'm over it.

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*puts on Moderator Hat*

This is the "emotional and psycological affects of acne" forum, where we encourage members to talk about the feelings that acne gives them. Often times these can be feelings of sadness, of bitterness, of anger and even depression. While these feelings can be uncomfertable to read about, we at Acne.org recognize the value of the good old fashion vent and understand that a good way to let people know they aren't alone in thier struggles is to share the very struggles we personally are going through.

In other words: If you are going to bash, mock, tease, belittle, or otherwise demean a poster for utilizing this forum for exactly what it was designed for, you will find yourself unable to bash, mock, tease, belittle, or demean anyone on this entire site at all.

Thank you and have a good day.

Well, I am not a parent, but being an adult and living away from home has given me perspective on parental behavior... I don't know the dynamic of your relationship with your mother, but try and see things from her side...

It is frustrating to a parent when their kid is hurting and there is nothing they can do about it. Your mom has no solution for you...so she fumbled for some line she hopes will be of some comfort. The "love your acne" sounds very much like the "love your body" line that people throw around to get over body insecurity. Your mom is just telling you that the acne isn't diminishing your worth. She put it oddly, but I would bet she meant well. As for her others lines, it looks like she is doing the tough love things to help you keep your acne in perspective.

People cannot read minds, so sometimes we have to tell them what we need from them in terms of support. I've had to tell my mom that sometimes I just want her to listen and say "I'm sorry" and give me a hug or something. My mom tends to like to give advice (hmm...now we know where I get it from :silenced: ) and not enough comfort. It's her way of being helpful though.

My family can still be insensitive to my skin woes, and I've had to sort of train them to react more encouraging towards me instead of trivializing my feelings...

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*puts on Moderator Hat*

This is the "emotional and psycological affects of acne" forum, where we encourage members to talk about the feelings that acne gives them. Often times these can be feelings of sadness, of bitterness, of anger and even depression. While these feelings can be uncomfertable to read about, we at Acne.org recognize the value of the good old fashion vent and understand that a good way to let people know they aren't alone in thier struggles is to share the very struggles we personally are going through.

In other words: If you are going to bash, mock, tease, belittle, or otherwise demean a poster for utilizing this forum for exactly what it was designed for, you will find yourself unable to bash, mock, tease, belittle, or demean anyone on this entire site at all.

Thank you and have a good day.

Well, I am not a parent, but being an adult and living away from home has given me perspective on parental behavior... I don't know the dynamic of your relationship with your mother, but try and see things from her side...

It is frustrating to a parent when their kid is hurting and there is nothing they can do about it. Your mom has no solution for you...so she fumbled for some line she hopes will be of some comfort. The "love your acne" sounds very much like the "love your body" line that people throw around to get over body insecurity. Your mom is just telling you that the acne isn't diminishing your worth. She put it oddly, but I would bet she meant well. As for her others lines, it looks like she is doing the tough love things to help you keep your acne in perspective.

People cannot read minds, so sometimes we have to tell them what we need from them in terms of support. I've had to tell my mom that sometimes I just want her to listen and say "I'm sorry" and give me a hug or something. My mom tends to like to give advice (hmm...now we know where I get it from :silenced: ) and not enough comfort. It's her way of being helpful though.

My family can still be insensitive to my skin woes, and I've had to sort of train them to react more encouraging towards me instead of trivializing my feelings...

:clap: That's a fabulous way of putting it, Siox!

I hate to break it to you, and i mean this in a respectful way. You don't run this site. I've never seen too many MODS say things like this..."you will find yourself unable to bash, mock, tease, belittle, or demean anyone on this entire site at all." Unless it is absolutely necessary. Again, I am generally very respectful on this site, but calm yourself, don't be foolish. There wasn't even any cursing.

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You're right, Jbrown, I do not run this site. But as a mod, it is part of my responsibility to make sure that this site stays what it is supposed to be: a support site. Dan created this site as a support system for acne sufferers, and while I don't run it, I have been a moderator of this site for over three years, and an active posting member for almost four years.

EMO's a bit of a special place for me. It's my favorite part of this entire website, because while it is often raw, filled with nerves and anger and sadness, it is where I believe the best support of this site comes from. When EMO is doing what it is supposed to be doing - being a center where people can openly and honestly share their feelings of concern and pain and recieve support for that - I believe it shines as the best part of Acneorg.com. If you hang around this place long enough, you'll find that I'm a little more protective of EMO than you might expect.

And you'll find that I didn't get "excited", or act "foolishly", since while I do not run this site, I do have the ability to delete posts, warn users, or suspend their accounts from anywhere to one day to permanently.

Instead of doing that, I chose to utilize the power of speech in what I hope was an appeal to other's sense of community and encouragement. I don't much like suspending members, and thus if I can steer a thread back into something resembling a supportive conversation with mere words, that's what I try to do.

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You're right, Jbrown, I do not run this site. But as a mod, it is part of my responsibility to make sure that this site stays what it is supposed to be: a support site. Dan created this site as a support system for acne sufferers, and while I don't run it, I have been a moderator of this site for over three years, and an active posting member for almost four years.

And you'll find that I didn't get "excited", or act "foolishly", since while I do not run this site, I do have the ability to delete posts, warn users, or suspend their accounts from anywhere to one day to permanently.

Instead of doing that, I chose to utilize the power of speech in what I hope was an appeal to other's sense of community and encouragement. I don't much like suspending members, and thus if I can steer a thread back into something resembling a supportive conversation with mere words, that's what I try to do.

I understand. But, only when necessary. Anyway, I agree with you. that's all i had to say.

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That works, then.

Besides that, in general, suspending and warning members takes some time and involves opening up multiple windows (which my fussy laptop doesn't much like!). The paperwork's a bitch. Leaving a single post in a thread or even a private message is usually alot less work! :lol:

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That works, then.

Besides that, in general, suspending and warning members takes some time and involves opening up multiple windows (which my fussy laptop doesn't much like!). The paperwork's a bitch. Leaving a single post in a thread or even a private message is usually alot less work! :lol:

lol....that's the life.

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wow there are some JERKS on this site... sounds like they have more problems than just their skin. there are other sites out there to help you with your anger issues.... go be mean on there

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