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ugly_skye

I want to be pretty again...

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Skye - Women DO care about acne and scarring, saying they don't is a personal observation that you have made, I and many other guys here can testify that women can be just as cruel when it comes down to appearance.

Saying that women don't care about a guys skin is like me saying women can get laid by any man at any time if they just asked, based on the generalisation that all men just want sex all the time.

While I'm sure some women do care, most don't and that's the consensus I have gotten from any girl I have asked. I mean, you only have to look at the movies to see that. So often men with acne scars appear in movies, but you will never see a woman with them. Women in movies, or TV Shows, or the limelight, are generally always perfect skinned humans.

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Skye,

I can sympathize with you entirely. I’ve had acne since I was ten years old, and it has traumatized me ever since. I am almost sixteen and I have been living with my acne for almost six years. I can barely remember a time when I wasn’t embarrassed by my skin, and had confidence to walk outside without cover-up. I can relate to humiliation felt when you have to walk outside with a face full of acne and have zero control over it. Everybody on this site can. I hate that society alienates people with acne, and makes us ashamed of something that we have no control over. The impact acne has spoiled most of my childhood, and I hate it. People with clear skin seem to be oblivious to how much pain acne causes. It infuriates me. Moving on, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. There are millions of people just like us who are all in the same boat. Good luck.

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Skye - Women DO care about acne and scarring, saying they don't is a personal observation that you have made, I and many other guys here can testify that women can be just as cruel when it comes down to appearance.

Saying that women don't care about a guys skin is like me saying women can get laid by any man at any time if they just asked, based on the generalisation that all men just want sex all the time.

While I'm sure some women do care, most don't and that's the consensus I have gotten from any girl I have asked. I mean, you only have to look at the movies to see that. So often men with acne scars appear in movies, but you will never see a woman with them. Women in movies, or TV Shows, or the limelight, are generally always perfect skinned humans.

Ok Skye, what you said just there is a major factor in your insecurities. You're completely over analyzing everything by constantly comparing yourself to everyone, comparing yourself to someone is one of the most depressing things because you're becoming envious of something you'll never have.

I was always the same when I was dealing with my body dysmorphia, I over analyzed everything so much I became paranoid, I thought I was the ugliest person and if I ever had a girlfriend I needed constant reassurance of how I looked. I'm not bragging, but I get compliments quite a lot of the time from girls and I haven't been short of attention since my skin cleared, but I used to really hate hearing them because I just didn't believe them at the time. Everytime someone said something nice about me i'd immediately go on the defensive and point out things that aren't so great; why would any happy person do this? They would just accept the compliment, why shouldn't you do that? You need to start focusing on all the good points about you.

I've had a few hard breakups, and at the time I was certain it was because I too ugly and that she was far too beautiful to be with and she's going to run off with some gorgeous clear skinned guy; which of course I can never truly be. It took a long time until I realised it wasn't because of my appearance they left me, they'd honesty found me attractive throughout, but it was my extreme lack of confidence and neediness that drove them away.

Once I started caring less about what people thought and became more positive about myself, I really saw the change in my mentality. I was happy! I was not constantly worrying about what I looked like, I was a lot more approachable and cheerful; I even became SO confident of my appearance that I even had the guts to strip naked in a public fountain (21st birthday, I was drunk, there is a picture on these boards of it somewhere). I never could have done that a year or so ago, so I know that you can definitely have this feeling I have, you just have to either choose whether you want to accept that you are stuck with this face and get on with your life, or let it make you miserable and cheat you of some of the best possible times of you life.

You can always continue to try and change your appearance, I still pay a lot of attention to mine, but if I find something I don't like I don't become depressed, I just think "Well, maybe it will change and maybe it won't, nothing I can do" and I forget about it. This is what you need to do, you're still young and your body can change in a multitude of ways, and it's like being a Kid again (once it's gone, you can never get it back). You don't want to look back in a few years time and think "Shit, I was so beautiful back then, why did I not do all the things I wanted to?".

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I was moved to tears reading these posts, it's heartbreaking to know that there are other people out there that feel as bad as I do. I don't want to waste my life but as you all say, looks really matter in our 20's. Life is hard enough without the added presure of acne / scarring.

I'm a good person, I was never arrogant before, I don't feel I needed to be taught any lessons, this whole thing has not made me a better person. I guess life is pain.

Hey...

I know where you're coming from. I used to spend my days looking in the mirror and crying and comparing old pictures and feeling like this was it. This was the time my skin was ruined beyond repair... but somehow, amazingly, it wasn't. Have you tried Obagi? It's expensive, but I only use the most necessary products they have and it's basically turned everything around for me. For whatever reason, my entire self esteem is based on my appearance, and I look like a totally different person now, even better than I did before the scarring... Anyway, think about it

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Afew months back, i starred in the mirror for over 2hours everytime in showers trying to do anything that could improve my face. I ran to toilets everytime i'm outside or in school to check out my pimples. They were so bad, my heart shape face became round shape. I looked bloated. I thought that would be the end of my attractiveness. I was also called "Pepperoni face" by someone and it was really upsetting. I really wish that all these could be just an nightmare and i prayed everynight to God, telling God to bless my skin and help me to get through with it, until when i went to Leonard Drake. My horrible face got healed in about six months, except there were still smaller pimples and terrible scarring, but i still felt good from my achievements.

My face was done easily even though i thought it would be the end of me. Try on Dermalogical products. It is really good! What i did for the whole of six months, was only two simple things. I had ultra calming and lessening scars treatments, and it was very successful. Try calming your face almost everyday, it helps alot. As for scars, my scars looked like it had gotten better when the redness subsides. Try on very mild medications, so that it will not trigger your skin. Scarring often happens when your skin gets thinner, which means it needs tenderness. So, try mild medications for your acne. I washes my face alot with plain water because plain water calms my face, and it gets better, alot! Hopefully it helps. Aloe Vera gel is also really good.

I worked on my body, and attitude to overcome my bad face. As i got alittle more confident of myself, and be able to act like myself again, i realised i stopped hearing comments. Perhaps, it was because my acne also got better, but i think being confident is also an important job and being friendly too.

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I miss people finding me attractive, I lost my face to acne and scarring and I'll never find it again. It doesn't matter what else I have going for me, everything is overshadowed by the acne and especially the scarring. I heard someone I had not seen in a long time say "wow, what happened to Skye? She got so ugly" and it f*cking hurt. I don't care about this person, they mean nothing to me, but it just makes me more aware of how everything went to shit and that person is saying what everyone is thinking. I hate feeling like a second rate citizen!

Aww, I totally understand this situation. But you know what? Hold your head up high! That person can get run over by a car. Pshh. He/she is just jealous cause you're so gorgeous! :D

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I want to be pretty again too, i feel the same way as you. I just hope they will go awayyy... but i have to deal with it everyday, feeling ugly, and miserable because of my acne vulgaris.

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I'm so sorry you are so depressed about how you look. That is a really common thing though even among people who do have great skin. Those "perfect skinned" people ... well some of them are never satisfied with the way they look a lot of the time. Some can seem happy as a cute little button, but on the inside they are afraid their "perfection" isn't good enough or fear it will fade and they spend an enormous amount of time on trying to keep their looks or trying to improve on it. So, even though we (us on this board) do have real physical problems ... THEY are trapped in their mind with imaginary problems that can be just as bad as our real ones. I know that doesn't make anything better for you, but just know that not very many people are happy with themselves and are self conscious just like you.

Look at how Britney Spears is going through a crazy depression of some kind and she is effin rich and has just about everything. Oh, and she suffers with acne too on and off ... so no one is immune.

We (me too) need to learn that a good attitude and kindness goes a long way to improve how we are seen by other people. I've noticed that some people I find good looking at first seem uglier if they have a bad personality ... and vice versa.

I miss people finding me attractive, I lost my face to acne and scarring and I'll never find it again. It doesn't matter what else I have going for me, everything is overshadowed by the acne and especially the scarring. I heard someone I had not seen in a long time say "wow, what happened to Skye? She got so ugly" and it f*cking hurt. I don't care about this person, they mean nothing to me, but it just makes me more aware of how everything went to shit and that person is saying what everyone is thinking. I hate feeling like a second rate citizen!
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I absolutely feel like I have to reply to this thread because I know exactly how you feel.

I was a pretty goodlooking guy before but now I'm afraid to go out in public. It really bugs me that I have this in the prime of my life (well, at 21 you're supposed to be near your peak) and it's holding me back socially. What's more distressing is that it's happening now, as I get older which makes me believe this won't get better anytime soon. i didn't have acne when I was in high school and only started in college. I definitely know the feeling. Enviness is a biggie when I see clear skin people. I know people who barely take a shower everyday yet alone wash their face and they're just fine.

I'm at my wits end with this but I know exactly how you feel. As soon as I start healing and get a social life going again I break out again. I have to bring the courage to go to my law school interview.

It's very tough and people don't know what it's like in general. I can tell people notice.

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I can relate to this a lot. When i am stressed i get spots quite badly, otherwise i am clear. When i have bad acne i am slightly socially phobic. This is a mixture between the spots and the fact im stressed anyway, but it is a vicious circle.

Calibos makes a gd point tho, if u learn to like urself ppl will find u attractive. It can be difficult to get to that point tho. Hope things pick up.

ben

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Me too Skye. I KNOW its NOT ABOUT ME, but is it too much to want my face back? It pisses me off and I wonder if I'm being punished for being vain once upon a time. I hate how it controls me. My acne is mostly gone now, but the scars are worse because they will never go away- not for my lack of trying. It is every woman's desire to be beautiful, its how we are wired and men are wired to be attracted to beautiful women. It sucks and I know where you're at emotionally. I do pull myself together and focus on other things, but like you, I hold back in so many things because of my face. I've avoided opportunities in life that would have required me to be in public; job opportunities, etc. Once I even missed an award ceremony where I was the recipient due to insecurities about my face. I'm in great shape physically, but I exercise at home where no one can see me. I avoid the gym, because I don't want to put make-up on to work out. I've become nocturnal.

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a millioin people seemed to have posted but im going to anways :)

i can absouletly relate to what your saying, i feel like i've become ugly, i used to have really high self esteem and its slowly been drained out of me. Its scary how acne can just make you feel horrible about yourself. After a really messy break up with my first love which invloved cheating, i think thats when the stress started which caused a lot of my breakouts. Im slowly getting things back together. I just want you to know that your beautiful and just because you have acne now doesn't mean it will effect you forever. People have different obsticles in life to overcome and maybe this is yours and all you can do is keep your head up high and fight for your happiness once again. I really hope you win. If you need to chit chat let me know.

xo

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You're right Calibos, there are too many women losing their self esteem here - and they say acne isn't a serious condition.

Thanks everyone for their nice words, it really does help knowing people can relate.

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ahh i know! just today this guy goes to me:

"why are you getting all those pimples?"

and he said it really rudely and then this other guy goes to me:

"yeah, gross! you didn't used to have acne."

i've had so many people point out my acne, and i'll just think "i just started getting acne earlier, by the time mine goes away they'll just be getting it." i hate how some of the people who don't have acne will just assume i don't wash my face, and i don't take care of myself at all. to add to that i have a gigantic forehead, so i have bangs, and that just gives me more acne. i can't wait until the summer, when i have more time to focus on how i look and less on work. i'm going to work extra super duper hard to get rid of my acne, get a different hairstyle (i don't have ugly hair, i just don't like it) and maybe get contacts. i've just taught myself not to feel bad when people point out my acne, cause... i don't know i just don't care, at least i'm healthy, at the perfect weight for my age, smart, and all those things=)

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Look at my username...I can relate. Having acne after once believing that you were attractive is like being blind after once being able to see. I often cry looking at my high school pic's of when I looked and felt like a normal person. U may not feel me on this, but features, in my opinion, is what makes a person beautiful. I won't lie, having acne does not put us on the high end spectrum of beauty, but think about how many people have lovely skin but ugly features that can't be changed: hollowed eye sockets, pointy nose, lazy eye, flat a**. No helping them. I hope you find a little bit of comfort in the pretty features of your face. Hopefully we're all getting rid of this mess called acne.

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Skye,

You are not alone. I agree. Last night, i stared at my face for a whole 5 minutes hoping it was someone else. I hate looking at people..i feel like trash when i do. Im sorry that other people deal with the same feeling i do. Its nice to know i am not the only one going through this tho.

you can get through this! oh and by the way, I think you look beautiful in your pic! :D

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I'm really, really scared of accutane because I have pretty serious stomach problems already and the reason I have scarring is because of Retin A, it thinned my skin so much that everything scarred. I know accutane can make you scar really easily and I'm so terrified of that. I am currently taking Spironolactone which is a hormonal drug. My acne isn't severe, it's moderate and constant.

Hi,

I'm New Here,

and I have had bad acne most of my life, ever since I turned 13..

I am now 22 (almost 23) and something I found that can help balance your hormones,

and help your acne, was my Birth Control. (I have another health issue I started taking it for,

and just one of the perks was a clear face!) The Type of BC i use it Loestrine 24 Fe. It is a 24 active day pill BC and it helps keep my hormones level. I was told by the doctor, that one of the reasons for so many teens,and young adults to have such bad acne, is because when your hormones are always changing, your oil and sebum glands in the skin, will produce more oil. She was very kind. Also, Something that helped my self-esteem (Like made me feel better abut looking in the mirror!) was Mineral makeup :) It can create the look of perfect soft skin, and you can get the perfect match for your skin! My favorite thing is to use a little bit of mary-Kay (non comedogenic meaning won't clog pores) concealer after washing my face and putting on my moisturizer. (Make sure you let the moisturizer dry completely or else it makes your face sticky feeling.) (the trick to applying the mary-kay concealer, is to only apply it exactly on the zit, and just pat it to blend it in, (Don't rub or it will come off.) and then apply a thin layer of mineral concealer (not the cheap kind you get at the drugstore! buy the real kind off line! most companies have free sampling to help you find your colors....(if you use cheap kind you won't get the great coverage!) make sure you use soft circular swirling motions to apply it. you can use a nice fat clean brush to lightly dust off the excess. Then, over that (Depending on the coverage needed) use a thing layer of mineral foundation. (make sure that it completely matches your skin! you don't want your face to be darker it will not help to camouflage ) then, once your done with the foundation, use your big clean brush to gently dust off the excess. then you can (just lightly apply a light mineral bronzer with a little shimmer (you want it to reflect light, this will create the illusion of fresh faced non caked up look) after that use a little bit of translucent mineral finishing powder. (This will set your makeup and you won't have to touch up as often) then you can just keep the small tube of concealer in your purse, along with your translucent powder and a small round buki brush. (This is all that you'll need to carry with you for spot touch-ups through the day)

Please don't feel overwhelmed. This really doesn't take that long to put on, and is SO much healthier while your waiting for your face to heal. It literally takes me 5 mins to do all these steps in the morning before I go to work. (I usually wake up 20 mins before I have to be there! lol so I have to look good quick!) and when your done, You look like your not wearing hardly anything, and your pores look smaller, and the minerals really helped to clear up my face, because they helped to absorb alot of the excess oil that used to melt my regular makeup. And since mineral makeup sits on top of your skin,and doesn't go into your pores, it really helps to provide a barrier between your skin,and the dirt,and bacteria that usually would make your skin worse.

No, i'm not a makup artist, and I'm not a doctor, I'm just your average girl who used to struggle with depression about my acne, and I've learned a few things that really work to make you feel better about yourself. I get complements all the time now! (And despite my shyness at times, and even pursuing a little bit of modeling) (: I think the reason this works so well, is because it makes looking in the mirror SO much better! and when you are worrying less, and feeling better, that may also help to get rid of some of your acne as well (Stress will make it worse, trust me! I'm never home and always busy, but when I worry, I get a flare up.) Oh, and an old trick i lerved to get rid of dark scarring, is to slather your scars in "cocoa butter" I had a really really bad case of chicken pox when i was 15, and my arms were covered in dark scars from the boils. i wore long sleeves, and my mum rubbed my arms every day with cocoa butter for almost a year ( but it made a huge difference! I am really pale,and you can't see a mark on my arms now!) I would recommend getting a face cream that has coco butter in it (Never use body lotion on you face it will clog your pores and make the acne worse)

I hope I helped relieve some of your depression, and gave you a ray of sunshine,

This really helped me. and I rally hope it Helps you! Here is the company i get my Mineral makeup from. My Dad knows the people, and they are really nice. (I am not sure if they ship to Australia or not, but you can check. if not, i would look online to find a company that does. and again, make sure they are the good kind! (They don't have to be expensive, but don't just gram the dime-store kind either!)

anyway, let me know how it goes!

Thank,

~HermioneGirl87~

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