Forgot your password?
Defect, April 2, 2004 in Emotional and psychological effects of acne
*removed by author*
Can I get cliff notes?
Life seems tough defect, but it will get better. It did for me at least. Last year I was 16, and I did the exact same things that you did. I went home from school, and I just played video games. I never really connected with anybody, like I had friends at school, but we never hung out much, and they all were better friends with each other than i was with them.
This year (junior year) Is a lot better. I think it is because I made an honest effort to make friends. I started hanging out more. Gained confidence, and I just felt more comfortable and acceptable. I laugh it off now when some kid says "hey, are you gonna pop that zit on your face tongiht?" It just doesn't bother me because I know I don't have a lot of acne and I accepted myself. I think if you accept yourself, people will accept you.
Also, about not being involved in any sports. Get involved. I don't care what people say, everyone is good at something. Ever try running? this in my opinion, is a great way to relieve stress and have fun. I play basketball, even though I am not that good, but I like it and I play. I have gotten a lot better and even when I have an air ball in front of everybody, I just laugh it off, and nobody cares. You could also try getting involved and following a particular sports team. I live in minnesota and love every sport here. I follow the vikings with a passion, and I felt the hearbreak at the end of the season...but I felt so connected. I am a hardcore timberwolves fan as well, it's fun to ride out the season and feel the highs and lows.
Sorry this was so long defect, but I think I know what you are going through, I also have a slight chest defect (bone protrusion) but I never got it fixed and it never really bothored me. Just remember this: Feel comfortable, confident, and happy with your appearence, and you will see your life will change for the better.
Defect, u sound a straight up guy. Hang in there and respect for what your going through. I respect people that have the courage to overcome their problems because i have an idea of how hard it is. My acne went really bad cysts etc, and i know acne goes away but i found it hard(ro-accutane is helping now). It helped me see life from a different point of view. One of my m8s was really fat back in primary school, i used to stick up for him if people tryed bullying, but only now after having severe acne do i know what its like(partially) to have a personnel challenge on your hands. Good luck and be strong..
"I still have a really hard time even talking to people. I've trained myself to barely pay attention to or care what they're saying. To get lost in my own thoughts to avoid, or atleast be able to take their rejection. Plus I don't know what they're interested in, and even if I did, I probably don't know much about it."
Those words scared the crap out of me. I can't tell you how many times I've felt the same thing. It feels like I spend every hour of the day dreaming, and I can't wake up. When ever someone talks to me I have to think about what they said for a long time to really understand it. I don't really like to talk to people my age anyway, most are immature, ignorant, bigots. They only seem to care about the stupid little relationships that go on in their lifes. 'Who went out with who' and such. Maybe if they tried to see the deeper meaning in life they'd explode. But anyway, there were a lot of points in your post that I can agree with.
Thanks guys. My acne isn't bad at all though. It added to my confidence problems but it's pretty much gone now. I only have one pimple right now and it's because I was in the hospital for a week and couldn't wash my face most of that time. And about my chest... mine was actually a medical condition. It affected my heart and lungs. Insurance paid 100% for the surgery. I used to not be able to go to a swimming pool or even walk in the wind without worrying about it. So now acne and my chest are two less things I have to think about atleast.
You know, anybody who has to deal with adversity for that long, especially when the adversity stems from self-identity, is better off in the future. If they don't go crazy first. Don't take that last line the wrong way, but I think that my trouble with my self-identity/socializing had led to me to be a very introspective and analytical person, but also very depressed. I hope in university though I get out of my shell. I mean, university or college is such a huge place and I'll be living on campus.
The trick is to do copious amounts of drugs while having unprotected sex with multiple people. If that doesn't bust you out of your shell you're hollow.
You're similar to me in many ways... Thankfully I am a nice guy and always had very good friends around to support me.
I, too, was born with a natural defect that cannot be fixed. I can walk and run as everyone else but my feet are not straight like normally (instead, they slightly turn against each other and that gives me a "weird" walk). When I was a kid, every time I had some sort of symptome such as a normal head ache I would usually think I had some serious disease - and I'm talking about a 7-year old boy who was already thinking about death and couldn't get a lot of weird thoughts off his head. By the time my acne got bad I already was a videogame addicted, and both things affected my social life a little. Thankfully I was never emotionally afected by acne because I am pretty strong (but physically I suck...). I don't care that much about sex and money as well, but I do care about love and friendship. I never had a girlfriend nor serious relationships and there were times I didn't even care about life. However, I have a strong determination and I never let one problem affect the rest of my life. I'm the type of guy that fights till the end to accomplish an objective no matter how important it is. Sometimes I had to wake up and understand that life's not the way we want it to be - we can't run away, we have to deal with it. I still look back at my past and I don't regret it because that's part of my life.
And by the way I still have acne. Acne isn't a great help when our self esteem goes down the drain for some particular reason ](*,)
Isolation is a dangerous thing, my friend.
thats awesome you had surgery and your face is clear! Man its rough, but listen to some kusic, this helps a lot. Also, if you can, lift weights. That boosts your confidence mass. Just stay strong man keep your confidence up and fdorce yourself to go out it will turn you into a new person.
I totally know what you're saying about not being interested in anything and not liking to talk to people. I've definitely been there.
I would seriously advise you to see a psychiatrist (no really!) and have them put you on an antidepressant for a while. That said, you probably shouldn't plan on taking antidepressants permanently--but with any luck, a few months of being truly un-depressed will give you a much-needed boost in confidence and life-enjoyment that will carry over even after you stop taking it.
Defected. Heres a advice that an old man told me:
"The way you see yourself, is the way how the people see you"
Just think about it m8. You dont know how these words are changing my life defintely. I used to be shy before. When I was learning English in college, (and still) . I didn't have much friends in college, but I began to know more people now, and to smile, to love me more, you know its good for your health man, remember if you dont have anybody, God wont never leave you!. Good luck
Defect. Everything you have gone through makes you so much stronger than people that revolve their lives around sex and money. I feel like a my childhood was screwed up too, but you know what? I take that anger and that negative energy and use it to make myself better.
You can post now and register later.
If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead
Only 75 emoji are allowed.
Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead
Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor
You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.