Dude keep your head up and Learn to love yourself.... Your your own worst critic... Dont give up hope because it will get better in the future

Oh man, there's so much pain in your post. I know what saying man, except I was on the other side and completely oblivious of the pain acne issued on people...until now. All my life I knew I was good looking. I'm not going to lie, I had a lot of game for years, and it seemed like getting girls was just a walk in the park. I use to ooze confidence. The sad part about it is that I had the shittiest personality too. I was super cocky, didn't care about anyone else except myself, and gawked at my own self worth. I knew I was ontop of the world.

Now it's all come back to destroy me. Just look at me now. I haven't had a girlfriend in over a year since I broke out with this acne bullshit. I'm constantly rejected and it's shot my confidence down the tubes. I'm so god forsakenly ugly now and it makes me so sick. I smash mirrors by merely glimpsing at my face. My face is completely scarred to oblivion and I dream about killing myself every single day of my life...hell, I'm thinking about it now. The tides have completely shifted and now I know what it's like to feel hate and despair, and I'm so full of regret for looking down on others like I did. I guess you can say I deserve this shit. It's like retribution.

But yes, I feel for you man. I'm really sorry you have to deal with it, but just know that you're not alone in your pain because I'm right there with you. We can suffer together and pull through it. I hope...

Sorry, double post.

Fribjits and Baalzebub,

I was moved to register on this board by your emotional posts. I understand what you're going through. And it sucks. And in most ways, it will always suck. That's the problem with facial acne scars - they don't go away. Your face is the first thing people see and they judge you by it. And if it's not pretty, then it sucks to be you.

General posts about "hang in there" and "you're your own worst critic" are not very helpful. Keep your head up? How the hell do you that when it's your head that you're most embarassed by? Please.

Look, I know what it's like to have deep cystic and icepick scars. My face is a mess, like yours. When I look in the mirror, it's all I see. And I know it's what other people see, too. Two people in the past 4 years thought I had AIDS because one half of my face is sunken in. A couple of people on the subway said, "He'd be cute if his face weren't such a mess." And when I recently had the rare opportunity to hook up with someone (which was fantastic), as they were leaving my place, they saw me under the fluorescent light and they were repulsed by what they saw (I saw the look on their face and cursed myself for going into the hall). They have not replied to my emails since.

When I meet people new, I see them look in my eyes, look at my face, and then look in my eyes again. It's a constant reminder that I'm disfigured and it's an isolating, emotional drain.

I've done everything that modern science can offer to fix this problem - dermabrasion, lasers, fat transfers, filler injections - you name it, I've done it. And it's helped a little, but not enough to make me look normal. Skin is like newly fallen snow - the minute you mess with it, you ruin it. And you can never make it the way it used to be.

So what do you do? Well, you're in college and I'm 36. So I can tell you a couple of things:

1) You are still young enough (and male enough) that by the time you are 25, 26, 27 - your acne will naturally subside. The redness and the infections will no longer be a problem. And you'll look better.

2) You'll learn how to improve your body, your hair, and your fashion sense, so in those respects, you'll also look better.

3) You'll go to a reputable dermatologist and have some work done to reduce the appearance of your scarring. And, while the results won't be nearly what you'd like, you'll look somewhat better.

4) You'll mature. You'll become interested in things, people, topics, travel, etc. and you'll immerse yourself in those things and get a lot of satisfaction from them.

5) You'll continue to look in the mirror and curse your parents for passing on such miserable genes, and you'll wish for just one day with perfect skin. And you'll do this every day.

6) And maybe - if you can find satisfaction and inspiration in life through means other than your face - just maybe someone will be attracted to the gravitational pull of your hard-fought and hard-won fulfillment, and perhaps they will fall in love with you for those reasons, despite your physical shortcomings.

Because at the end of the day, life is still worth living (are you reading this, Baalzebub?). Even though your face may be ugly and disfigured. It sucks. But it's the hand you've been dealt. Play it like men. Good luck.

I have to say that I totally feel you man, I am on the same boat. Like one of the post I read a couple days ago, it is all about acceptance, I mean we all can't be good looking with perfect skin, we need to learn to deal with our imperfections and accept ourselves. We all know that acne is something that we cant really control, but we can still work hard to become the best of what we can be.

Trust me, I understand how depressed you are for not being able to have a gf, but if you think about it, if you don't love yourself how do you expect others to love you back? It is a vicious cycle. Just be you, and project yourself to others the way you want them to see you.

You are not alone!

I'm suppose to be enjoying high school with friends and going out, but with my hyper pigmentation s and ice picks. My social life is down the drain, I find myself hard to talk to anyone in school in bright light. I only talk to people maybe in darker lighting or when the lighting i dimmer cause I look clear when it's like that. I've only had one girlfriend in my life and that was when I was clear, I find myself just overall miserable. The only thing I'm happy about in the day is when I arrive home from school and just finally not around people anymore. I feel that concentrating on studies helps me get my mind off acne. Overall I think you should accept the fact you have scarring, let time heal your wounds, keep your acne undercontrol, find some good true friends that don't judge you based on looks and to women looks aren't everything, trust me.

Hi people.

This is a subject that I, like you, also feel as somewhat an expert on and not by choice. Similar stuff with me, got to 17/18, skin was fine and clear after having the usual mild spots in my early teens. I really thought skin problems were all behind me now I was becoming a young man. I suddenly became fairly popular with good friends, dating nice girls etc. It all came and went so fast when for some reason I got this large boil on the end of my nose. Within a month I had that boil, pustules galore and 4 very sore nodule cysts(the worst kind) on my cheeks. My face literally wasn't pink, wasn't red but purple. Mostly on the cheeks and chin area with my lovely rudolph nose to boot!

I got myself referred to a dermatologist as soon as I could and started roaccutane, which worked a treat but I'm sure I don't have to tell you of the unpleasant side-effects. I felt like an old man when I took those pills. After that was when the real problems started with the scarring left over, at it's worst it distorted my features to make me look like something Picasso painted. The nodules on my cheeks had gone to town and left me with a very unsettling assymetric appearance as well as the rolling and ice-pick scarring around the cheeks and chin area. While this was happening I was determined not to let it interfere with my life. Unfortunately that isn't easy when you are constantly put up against nothing but hostility, no eye contact, the silent treatment and snide comments (I know things like that happen but not on a regular basis nearly EVERYWHERE you go). I was also studying drama so that made it harder, however my confidence in my abilities never waned because it's something I love. As with people in general, my class mates were quick with the "we don't like you" routine without any valid reason except for the obvious condition that I saw in the mirror everyday. Funnily enough they liked my work and were quick to take any ideas I had simply because they saw me as quiet,inferior and insignificant.

Anyway I'm 24 now and only recently have I started to feel comfortable with my appearance again after 7 long years. Thanks to a certain cream (from snails!) that I have used for nearly 4 years, my scars are now very superficial with my cheeks filled out and symetrical again after all this time. The cream is not a quick fix by any means, it takes patience and the only way it will work is to make it part of your routine for as long as you need it. The really hard part for me is to get my goals back on track, as I quit my drama studying a few years, I'm very introverted and the few friends I had saw me as dead weight a long time ago for having given up. At times a woman may give me a nice glance or smile but my confidence and assertiveness is nowhere to be seen just yet. I have a good job but I keep myself to myself and it isn't what I really want to do in life, It's up to me to sort it out and nobody else.

Your posts really got to me and to the younger guys DON'T PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD. Yes people are shallow but unfortunately that's human nature. At the moment at least. Treat them with the same insignificance that they treat you and focus on your passions and drives without any shit in between. I always tried to have time for people and be as pleasant as I could, but I've realised that it isn't an obligation in life. Everyone is an individual, be your own man/woman, be selfish if you want to be and if that selfishness also means trying anything to improve your appearance to make YOU feel better so be it. In the meantime stay on your path, your goals will make you happy not if people like you or don't like you. They will come afterwards when your at the top of your game. Know your strengths and don't let them leave you.

I would say, try and do your best until you have the money to help your scars. there's a lot of treatments out there that work very well, they can just be pricey.

also, you can try to help your body acne with some vitamins/supplements. check out the hololistic remedies forum

Ok, so you feel ugly. Granted, you will find people out there that agree with you, 100 percent.

You have but two choices, feeding THOSE people your scraps of what little self esteem you have left. They will devour it with a smile.

Or you can feed THOSE that still see the good in you. And they are out there ( I used to assume no one could see good in me also ).

In the meantime, regardless, the world continues on. Your happiness, or pain, won't have any bearing on that.

SOS

I have scarring too

lots and it won't leave my face

it brings me down so much

it sucks

it stops me from so much....

I feel like no one near me has any idea

but we aren't alone.

all I can say is I hope it gets better

I know the world seems shallow often

I hate how I focus on things like acne

when I should be thankful for just being alive and healthy

but its hard to focus on it when I go to school

and everyone is prettier then me.

I hope you cheer up and feel better

very well written Rorschach. thx for that.

Hi people.

 

This is a subject that I, like you, also feel as somewhat an expert on and not by choice. Similar stuff with me, got to 17/18, skin was fine and clear after having the usual mild spots in my early teens. I really thought skin problems were all behind me now I was becoming a young man. I suddenly became fairly popular with good friends, dating nice girls etc. It all came and went so fast when for some reason I got this large boil on the end of my nose. Within a month I had that boil, pustules galore and 4 very sore nodule cysts(the worst kind) on my cheeks. My face literally wasn't pink, wasn't red but purple. Mostly on the cheeks and chin area with my lovely rudolph nose to boot!

I got myself referred to a dermatologist as soon as I could and started roaccutane, which worked a treat but I'm sure I don't have to tell you of the unpleasant side-effects. I felt like an old man when I took those pills. After that was when the real problems started with the scarring left over, at it's worst it distorted my features to make me look like something Picasso painted. The nodules on my cheeks had gone to town and left me with a very unsettling assymetric appearance as well as the rolling and ice-pick scarring around the cheeks and chin area. While this was happening I was determined not to let it interfere with my life. Unfortunately that isn't easy when you are constantly put up against nothing but hostility, no eye contact, the silent treatment and snide comments (I know things like that happen but not on a regular basis nearly EVERYWHERE you go). I was also studying drama so that made it harder, however my confidence in my abilities never waned because it's something I love. As with people in general, my class mates were quick with the "we don't like you" routine without any valid reason except for the obvious condition that I saw in the mirror everyday. Funnily enough they liked my work and were quick to take any ideas I had simply because they saw me as quiet,inferior and insignificant.

Anyway I'm 24 now and only recently have I started to feel comfortable with my appearance again after 7 long years. Thanks to a certain cream (from snails!) that I have used for nearly 4 years, my scars are now very superficial with my cheeks filled out and symetrical again after all this time. The cream is not a quick fix by any means, it takes patience and the only way it will work is to make it part of your routine for as long as you need it. The really hard part for me is to get my goals back on track, as I quit my drama studying a few years, I'm very introverted and the few friends I had saw me as dead weight a long time ago for having given up. At times a woman may give me a nice glance or smile but my confidence and assertiveness is nowhere to be seen just yet. I have a good job but I keep myself to myself and it isn't what I really want to do in life, It's up to me to sort it out and nobody else.

Your posts really got to me and to the younger guys DON'T PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD. Yes people are shallow but unfortunately that's human nature. At the moment at least. Treat them with the same insignificance that they treat you and focus on your passions and drives without any shit in between. I always tried to have time for people and be as pleasant as I could, but I've realised that it isn't an obligation in life. Everyone is an individual, be your own man/woman, be selfish if you want to be and if that selfishness also means trying anything to improve your appearance to make YOU feel better so be it. In the meantime stay on your path, your goals will make you happy not if people like you or don't like you. They will come afterwards when your at the top of your game. Know your strengths and don't let them leave you.

hey Rorcshfan what snail cream did you use?

deleted

Exagerative, you are really cute!

These posts are very emotional I feel the same way alot too.

Exagerative it's such a shame you feel so bad about yourself, because you're not ugly atall, in fact you're a good-looking guy and very cute. Personally i don't think your acne scars ruin your looks. remember that it always looks worse to you than to someone else. In high school people are generally very shallow and see the smallest imperfection as something to make someone feel bad about.

I have to say, the Majority of these posts made me feel very emotional. Well done all of you, I have gained alot more understanding in myself.

 

Well hiya, im Liam, this is my first post.

I am 17, Hate the **** out of myself.

 

This is what I look like in low light conditions: (see attatchment)

FYI - one thing I have found that makes an astonishing difference is Sudocrem, but it only really masks it, but it does an astounding job... But I was told that it can often cause more problems by blocking the skin, although it does repair a few skin imperfections and small blemishes.. I do not really recommend smothering your whole face like I used to.. I found that heat also sometimes helps? not sure... I used to blow-dry my face..... although it was short-term to kind of heat up the sudocrem for easy application and made me look pretty damn sexy in the mirror. as weird as that sounds...

 

And here is the Awfullness:

 

yes, even I fancy myself there

I don't even have photos of my spots, i delete them as soon as they're taken. But seriously.. they are attrocious. its amazing how much of a difference they make.. and I just wish there was someone to tell me that they will be ok... even my doctor is about as reassuring as my cat.

 

It all started when I was 13/14, I Was pretty ugly anyway in the clothes that I wore and fact that i didnt care about myself one bit, then as I began getting older I started to take pride in my appearance.. at the worst possible time because I suddenly began getting litterally hundreds of spots on my face. High school killed me to be honest, the words were so hurtfull and I lost most of my friends, as they were the kind of pretty-boy friends that you hand around with who can be cool for a while, but take note on the smallest imperfections.

They did almost totally disapear at one point, I just assumed it was all with age.. but about 2 months later.. Holy jesus Im a dalmation. I Look in the mirror and I literally cant look, It repulses me, I turn my head away with a tear in the eye. I just wish so much that I could go back 3 years and use treatments more effectively. In recent times, particularly the last 3 months I feel yet worse, and the more and more creams i use the worse i feel. Aparently I now appear to have the scars appearing, which I cried myself to sleep many nights straight for... , but thats another story. I have been to the nurse and doctor at least 4 times, this time they gave me a hospital refurral for the drug (forget its name) which will give me many sideeffects, but bring it!. I hope to god that this drug will fight the acne development anymore, but also, I just pray that as the acne scars have only just started.. (and I mean very minor, I can only see them if I turn my head towards a light face on, or from above)... but at the moment I have 0 self confidence and no self esteem I hardly talk to people, look them in the face and refuse to answer the door, go to college somedays, and I havent seen some of my friends in months now. The only friends I have are my best friend and some other girls.. who appear to ignore the fact that I am a walking purple face and I respect them so much for it, we dont talk about it though. I often wonder if im suffering from heavy depression and anhedonia from not being able to act like I used to... its getting rather severe and I often think about suicide. even my A level exams are being ruined.

i personally looking at the pictures think your really goodlooking!

and to the poster ... there is a woman out there who will love you for everything you are .. the qualities that i can tell you possess just from your post like sensitivity, kindness and not being shallow will one day be what a woman you will meet is going to want. Not all girls are shallow ( though alot are) but there are always the few that will look straight past the exterior and see whats inside. I have friends who have fancied guys with really bad acne, and i also have friends who look down on them ... but you will find someone who likes you for you and not the way you look!

i feel depressed all the time about how i look and that fact that NO guy is ever going to want me ... ive never had a boyfriend, nobodies ever even asked me on a date! But i know that one day a guy is going to like me for who i am .. not what my exterior is! and the girls and guys who cant see past an exterior are not even worth our time! i hope you can see that your an amazing person and the exterior in the end means nothing!

hmmmmmm....

this post is very depresssing i wont lie. i have always had mild acne and it never even reached the point of severe.now i thought about the fact if i got severe acne and i found myself feeling very uneasy and questioning too much.

i am being open and honest and the truth is if 2 girls were standing in a room and the one had acne and the other didnt...its obvious who i would go for.

But you see the 'good' thing that acne can make us do is bring our personalities out more.i know a gal whos on Accutane and on her IB and she is still real attractive to me. i even know that when i was on accutance and breaking out i ended up in a relationship that i never thought was possible.what happens is with me i will go into a defensive mode and try speak about anything or keep the convsation interesting to a point i feel comfortable and make the person like me and not the acne. i dont know...for lots its different but ive never had severe acne.

i understand ppls beliefs would be questioned and the question 'why me' is asked way 2 much.

i have nothing positive or uplifting to say for some of you....its just extremely sad and frustrating.

i really wish there is something i can say to make you guys feel just a little bit better.

i know that high school's social atmosphere is polluted as fuck. teenagers are way too visual for their own good. they are as shallow as spring rain-shower ponds. but wtf can we do about it? does feeling bad about it help at all? will hating yourself make those pimples disappear?

acne (for the majority of teenagers) is a phase. it is temporary. it will subside on its own as you go into your early and mid twenties. why blame yourself for something that's out of your control? acne is not a sentence for a crime, it is not a punishment for something bad you've done. so why let it affect your everyday life? why should you feel the least bit bad about it?

work on your mind, your soul, and your body. feel good about yourself. once you've hit your mid twenties, you'll be a jacked mothabanga with brains to boot.

Woow I thought i was in pain, i should try being in your shoes @ fribjits i wish i could say something to make you feel better "But not wise words gonna stop the bleeding".

Baalzebub, & Rorschachfan thank you for the amazing encouragement, and i must say Rorschachfan ur intelligence shines through ur post.

Ihatecomedones dude ur good looking but i know how you feel, i remember when i quit my work, dropped out of collage, stopped talking to friends and stayed home for months it felt like i was in prison

facebook was the only way i communicate with others, i try suicide more then once but god keep giving me second chance. finally family became my strength and pushed me to return back to school despite my effort its still hard.

it feels really good to know i m not alone in this journey because i keep telling myself it must be just me.

all i can say is " With Hardship Comes Ease" don't loose hope

.

Wow I really felt good reading the post and everyones replies, which sounds weird. You know why I felt good, its because its nice to know that I'm not the only one stuggling with this issue. I had severe acne went on accutane and now am left with the scars and redness. I sometimes feel socially akward acround people because all I seem to focus on is how they preceive me. I have to commute on a train to university in a downtown core so Im constantly in close range with people. Especially on the train where people face you and you can help but feel akward and notice people staring at your face. It hurts not being able to start good friendships with people because someone can be the most outgoing and extroverted person, but if they got severe acne/scarring I would gaurentee that you would become more introverted. It just hurts sometimes how people treat you. If you have any facial deformatites people tend to ignore you in conversations because its difficult to look you in the face. And when no one is talking to you and you have no one to talk to people classify you as quiet, even though if given the oppurtunity you would love to have a conversation. Honestly, I've learned not to care what other people think. "Just do you you" lol. Focus on what makes you happy, which'll make you confident. When your confident you'll focus on what amkes you happy and you will succeed in life.

Hello,

I normally just read these posts but after reading these posts I had to join and post a reply. I am a 20 year old female, I suffer from spots and scars, yeh when I wear makeup no one can tell I have proble,s what so ever, ,my friends think Im being ridiculous but it is only because I cover it up so well.

The reason I wanted to reply was because the comments I read from a few people on here I think are actually quite mean, maybe without intending to be.

How can anyone say things like 100% people will think your ugly too. I totally disagree. Not all people are completely shallow and I for one am not a shallow person. There will be many people that would like to get to know you, dont give up and think that no one will ever want you because they will. Im a girl and I know that looks arent everything because i would hate to be with an amazingly good looking guy who had a cocky, idiotic personality and I know lots of my very pretty friends share the same view as me.

I do think we put ourselves down because we look at our self everyday, but people are probably too hung up on their own insecurites to worry about anyone elses spots and scars.

the one thing I would change about myself id the skin on my face, and because its an insecurity I always look at other peoples skin wishing it was that easy to achieve the skin they have, but my friend who has the mot perfect skin never looks at skin because instead she looks at peoples noses because shes insecure of her nose.

So try not to think too much into your own insecurites and by the way, any shallow person isnt worth your time anyway. xxx

I never reply to these things but for some reason Im gonna get in on this topic.

im not going to say Im sorry you feel that way. You need to understand something and please dont take this the wrong way. Self esteem is something you can easily take control of. Positive affirmations as silly as they sounds in the mirror every morning is a start. I felt kind of like an idiot at first but they helped me immensely. This might seem kind of cliche but have you watched or read the secret? That movie might be a little on the extreme side but the law of attraction is real. The more you focus your thoughts on how horrible your acne is and how others view you, all your doing is attracting more of that to yourself indefinitely. You need to believe its going to get better. Perspective is one of the most powerful things out there when it comes to yourself, mind , feelings, emotions, motivations so on so forth.
It saved my life. And it can turn things around for you if you believe it will. And direct all your thoughts and energy towards the end goal not the problem. Good luck

On 9/8/2020 at 8:05 PM, Fakeittilyoumakeit said:

I never reply to these things but for some reason Im gonna get in on this topic.

im not going to say Im sorry you feel that way. You need to understand something and please dont take this the wrong way. Self esteem is something you can easily take control of. Positive affirmations as silly as they sounds in the mirror every morning is a start. I felt kind of like an idiot at first but they helped me immensely. This might seem kind of cliche but have you watched or read the secret? That movie might be a little on the extreme side but the law of attraction is real. The more you focus your thoughts on how horrible your acne is and how others view you, all your doing is attracting more of that to yourself indefinitely. You need to believe its going to get better. Perspective is one of the most powerful things out there when it comes to yourself, mind , feelings, emotions, motivations so on so forth.
It saved my life. And it can turn things around for you if you believe it will. And direct all your thoughts and energy towards the end goal not the problem. Good luck

Odd that you felt the need to create an account and respond to a thread that is nearly 12 years old when the OP hasn't posted in the forum since 2009. I hope that he is doing OK.

Self esteem is something you can improve, but to suggest that it easy to do so is just condescending. If it was easy no one would ever have low self esteem.

And the law of attraction isn't real, it's barely pseudoscience that only ever really leads to victim blaming (i.e. if a bad thing happened to you, it must be because you were thinking bad thoughts, because if you were thinking good thoughts the bad thing wouldn't of happened, therefore you deserve the bad thing).

On 9/11/2020 at 11:16 AM, adxhunt said:

Odd that you felt the need to create an account and respond to a thread that is nearly 12 years old when the OP hasn't posted in the forum since 2009. I hope that he is doing OK.

Self esteem is something you can improve, but to suggest that it easy to do so is just condescending. If it was easy no one would ever have low self esteem.

And the law of attraction isn't real, it's barely pseudoscience that only ever really leads to victim blaming (i.e. if a bad thing happened to you, it must be because you were thinking bad thoughts, because if you were thinking good thoughts the bad thing wouldn't of happened, therefore you deserve the bad thing).

Thanks