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Petitevoix

I love a man with acne scars. Deeply love.

Hi, i'm a 24 years old girl living in Quebec (Canada).. English is not my first language but this forum seems to be the right place, with the right precious people, to write what i feel.. I dont have acne.. except for classic monthly hormonal little pimples on my jaw line..

6 years ago, I met a guy by the internet... He came to me, as my nickname was a song title of smashing pumpkins... :) I spoke to him weeks and weeks... with true pleasure... At time, he once talked to me about how acne Conglobata went bad on him... but I didnt focused on that.. since I dont put importance in those things in my everyday life... I waited.. months and months to see him... and during this time he had sex once with a girl who insisted to have sex with him when they were both drunk... It hurted... I fail to put the right words to explain it... The hint came to me... that this kind of sex... like a relief of an inside pressure, was more easy to him that making love.. tenderly.. When we finally saw each other... oh... the joy over my face... My fantastic love ! :) I kissed him in the second.. having his warm lips on mine.. :) I saw his scars... many.. I have to admit... all over his face... All the time we had together during this weed-end.. he never showed his back to me... never... But I saw it.. as the moon light came on him as he was sleeping : red-blueish deep holes...

About not being together.. living together... he allways talks about how tired he is... that isnt easy for anybody... that he failed in all his relationships, that he never had what it takes... When I say to him that he is not alone... and that, as a human, he has to give himself a chance... and that his fears now made him trapped... he says that I dont understand him... But being here for 6 years, writing him letters, call him to say "I love you" the morning, being faithful and sweet... it is, in my heart, to understand... at least, to be here...

Could his pain became for him more easy to live than taking the risk to heal..? I cry, as I write it to you... cause he his like a dream who always vanish when i'm about to touch him.. He loves me... but hates himself..

I don't want him to go with womens he don't love... I dont want to go with mens I dont love... I dont have it in me ! I dont have it... :(

His body, his eyes, his skin... became the highest standards in my eyes...

It burns... like hell...

Horror ! Horror !

What should I do ? What should I be...

Thank you... I appreciate the time you took to read me...

Sincerly,

Bénédicte

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I'm sorry to hear that, you would be the kind of person many men would dream of, the caring, compassionate, loving and understanding women, which is a true rarity, and your love for him, as it seems from this message, is genuine in every sense of the word.

You need to really emphasize to him how much his withdrawl away from you whenever you seem to be getting close is hurting you, I don't usually recommend this, since it seems to be cruel, but he obviously isn't aware of how lucky he is and maybe if he was afraid of truly losing you it would snap him into focus.

Drop that ultimatum on his lap and if and onlyif he is worthy then he will stop acting like a gobshite and come running back to you.

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look, I don't have any advice for you. I've never been in your position. But the reason why I'm posting this, not to waste you time, but I want to let you know how truely of a beautiful person you are. If only everyone in the world was as kind and loving as you are and didn't judge on the outside appearance. If he is any kind of a man, you can only hope he will come to his senses and see what a truely amazing person you are.

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I've been in a similar relationship where the guy loved me immensely but hated himself. His poor self-image was constantly getting in the way of our relationship. It might be more difficult to see this destructive behavior in a long-distance relationship, but trust me, if you were spending every day together his insecurities would really begin to dominate and ultimately sabotage your relationship. If someone has self-esteem issues that run deep like that, it can only end poorly. I never liked the saying "You can't love others until you learn to love yourself," but unfortunately, it's true. It sounds like you're doing everything that you can do, and he's very lucky to have someone like you who cares about him. It sounds like maybe he should seek therapy to overcome these issues he has. I wish you luck and remember that if he can't reciprocate your feelings, then there are other men out there who will!

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look, I don't have any advice for you. I've never been in your position. But the reason why I'm posting this, not to waste you time, but I want to let you know how truely of a beautiful person you are. If only everyone in the world was as kind and loving as you are and didn't judge on the outside appearance. If he is any kind of a man, you can only hope he will come to his senses and see what a truely amazing person you are.

awww .. i agree. you are a beautiful person and it makes me so sad how acne has affected him. i don't know how you could help him open up to you the way you are willing to open up to him, but i do know that healing emotionally from acne, for many, is an ongoing process.

i wish you the best of luck and hope he realizes how lucky he is very soon.

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This is sweet from you... all those answers.. :) I red them with all my attention, and I care, for all your advices. It is hard to explain how much is it sometimes like a rollercoaster...

He keeps telling me how much i'm special and beautiful, calling me his "little present"... but when I ask him about where he is now with his feelings, his fears... its never a good moment... never... More than often I become very sensitive about that... and he have for me this answer... one of a kind who are made to trap... "I make you cry, I'm just good for that"

He acts, i'm so sad to write it, like someone who wants to live his life all alone...

Yes, he is scared... but I can't imagine that I just represent a risk... I would like to sound also like hope... and love...

All his reactions... are they from an healthy heart ? Can we help someone who stay in his pain ?

Fears are not made to disappear like that... that's why they are such a challenge... I'm here for him... I always been...

Have a good night you all xx

Bénédicte

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Chère Bénédicte,

Je suis américain mais j’étudie le français. Donc j’ai beaucoup de balafres sur mon visage aussi. C’est très difficile à les accepter. Quand on est jeune, les enfants à l’école sont si cruels. Ils se moquaient de moi tout le temps quand j’étais jeune. Je pense que c’est pourquoi il est si difficile—les souvenirs d’enfance ont une grande puissance dans nos pensées pour le reste de nos vies. Il se sent qu’il est dégoutant et défigure parce que quelqu’un lui dit qu’il est comme ca. Je pense qu’il va être beaucoup plus facile pour nous si les balafres n’étaient pas si grandes et si difficile de réparer. Mais c’est la vérité. Je pense qu’il ne peut pas l’accepter. Peut-être il peut. Vous avez seulement une vie ! Il faut que vous vous amuser, n’est-ce pas. Soyez sa amie mais je pense que vous ne pouvez pas vraiment l’aider. Il est le seul personnage qui peut aider lui-même.

J’adore Québec !

A bientôt !

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It could just be cuz of the fact that he thinks no girl would ever truly like him since he had acne all his life..the best deal here for u to do is complement him about how good he looks and his overall personalily..he might gain confidence by this..remind him abt all the good qualities he has..if everything goes right he might open up to u and realize that ur judging him for what he is..DOnt act like a friend imean be a little flirty and show intrestt ..hug him..tell him u love him and that u would like to be with him all life..HE might think abt giving u a go :)

best of luck..

i knw this cuz i really had bad breakout this summer and my female friends who used to flirt with me r ignoring me..it may not all acnes fault but still u knw :( i lost confidence n stuff...i Was really a funny person and striking up a confersation was so easy for me..now i cant even look in somebodys eyes straight..I also missed two birthday parties cuz i dint wanted to be in the pics where everyones face is clean except me...UNfortunately there is no girl in this world like u that i have that could see beyond it and help boosting my confidence..

SALUT!

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wow, your post really had me, especially when you said he loved you, but hates himself.

i really recognize that when thinking of the relationship my girlfriend and i have, only i would be the person that doesnt love himself.

and its true, at times i hate my appearence, having a relationship and acne is a difficoult combination, lucky for me i took the shot, and cant even imagine beeing without her anymore.

i understand why he wants to date women that dont stick by him, its easier, in relationships, both partys have certain expectations of each other, and responsibilitys to live by.

doing one night stands takes away all that, making life much easier for an unhappy person. unfortunately it also takes away the most important thing, love.

if you want things to get better, you should motivate him to want the same, first off i think you can make a big difference by just talking to him about his scars, give him the opportunity to empty his hart.

and when you are with him, make sure he feels comfortable, that way he will forget about his appearance.

acne can make people feel depressed, you need to make this man happy again, i think if you accomplish this, he will notice that you are the one for him.

after all, after reading your post, i think you are a women that many men search for, but little ever find.

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