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Iliad

Yay! Art of drowning is back!

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Hey aod, just wanted to say that I'm happy and relieved to hear from you. I'm sorry life hasn't gotten any easier for you. :cry: Still, there are allus members of the org who'll understand (as best we can) what you are going through. Hang in there man.

Iliad Keys

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I care, Aaron. I know, it's probably all un-cool like and dorky, but take Illiad's thread here as proof - we do care.

I've been away for awhile myself, but when I came back, first thing I did was hop in here to see if you were still posting. You are. That makes me feel good about coming back.

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i'm new to the boards, but i remember reading about people asking about you. clearly you made an impression on a lot of the regulars.

i don't know much about you, but i've read some of your newer posts.......

sounds like you're in kind of a dark place, but i'm really glad you're here and venting about stuff. that's the most important part of working through stuff.

like i said, i don't know you, but i'm always up for talking if you feel like it. just say the word :)

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I do appreciate all of your kind words, but in the grand scheme of things, the general pop could care less that I'm back. That's the truth and there is no denying it. Hell, I could have pulled that trigger and had my head severed from my torso, and I guarantee that not one person on this site would of truly cared. Sure, it would have been the talk of the town because it is quite the traumatic end, is it not? But does that mean he/she truly cares? No, of course not.

The fact still remains that I'm just a breeding ground of despair, hatred, and hopelessness---nothing more, nothing less. I still absolutely abhor myself and am rather disappointed that I did not choose to pull the trigger. I can definitely say that that was the closest to death I've ever come---so cheers to that. However, I am on some powerful drugs now and am rather pleased with it's effectiveness. They've definitely made life a little clearer.

But, of course, it still doesn't change how I truly feel deep, deep down inside of me.

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Guest missyjean130
I do appreciate all of your kind words, but in the grand scheme of things, the general pop could care less that I'm back. That's the truth and there is no denying it. Hell, I could have pulled that trigger and had my head severed from my torso, and I guarantee that not one person on this site would of truly cared. Sure, it would have been the talk of the town because it is quite the traumatic end, is it not? But does that mean he/she truly cares? No, of course not.

The fact still remains that I'm just a breeding ground of despair, hatred, and hopelessness----nothing more, nothing less. I still absolutely abhor myself and am rather disappointed that I did not choose to pull the trigger. I can definitely say that that was the closest to death I've ever come, so cheers to that. However, I am on some powerful drugs now and am rather pleased with it's effectiveness. They've definitely made life a little clearer.

But, of course, it still doesn't change how I truly feel deep, deep down inside of me.

Have a verizon cell phone- I'd love to chat it up with you

have msn- I'd love to chat with you

Let me talk to you, I do care.

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The key point is to not die between now and whenever things get better, Aaron. You're doing that. Right here, right now, you're not dying, your talking to us.

That makes a difference. If you're here, talking to us, then you're not by that tree, and that's important.

What meds you on? I've done a few round with some psychotropic prescriptions....sometimes they can really help.

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Wow..... I'm not even sure what to say. Not that anything I say would matter in the grand scheme of it, but when I say that I genuinely feel invested in you now, I mean it. And I also mean it when I say that I really do feel that this will get better with time... but until then... I'll have you in my prayers. I've read where you don't really believe in that, but I'm doin it anyway.... so accept it lol. ;)

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The key point is to not die between now and whenever things get better, Aaron. You're doing that. Right here, right now, you're not dying, your talking to us.

That makes a difference. If you're here, talking to us, then you're not by that tree, and that's important.

What meds you on? I've done a few round with some psychotropic prescriptions....sometimes they can really help.

Prozac, now at a very high dosage. I was on Lexapro, but it gave me horrible, horrible dreams and extremely violent thoughts.

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I was truely sad when I heard that it might have been the end of you. Honestly, I haven't talked to you one on one, but I would have missed you. You were in my prayers and we all do truely care. (:

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How are you doing? I'm so glad you're okay. Someday, if you don't already, you'll feel mentally okay as well, please never give up.

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art of drowning I don't know you, you don't know me

you might be right, the world wouldn't care about you, but it does for the most of us? Not really

I'm glad you didn't kill yourself somehow

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Anger is a naturual reaction to worry, UFO, that's okay. What's important is that you are here telling him that he was worth your worry.

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Remember that no matter what you may think people DO care. However much it may hurt think about the people who could be hurt if you do anything stupid. :wavey:

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