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Alright so.. I apologize beforehand for this long rant. Even if there are no replies it still felt good to write it so thank you acne.org for this forum.

a girl that I've been on/off with for about a year started to lead me on again recently and was mentioning moving out here about 2 weeks ago. well, the whole week after that she stopped talking to me, replying to me or calling me back. the last text she sent me basically said "i really wanna come see you". i had no idea why all of a sudden there was a complete cold shoulder to me.. i mean she was always the master of mixed messages and being hot and cold but she never straight up ignored me for a whole week... anyways. i find out from someone that this guy that she met a few weeks ago(yes, Weeks) at a wedding is now getting married to her. now i know that sounds crazy, and it is, but she is of Pakistani descent. i am half pakistani so i don't follow the whole arranged/rushed marriage thing and she kinda changed her beliefs for me temporarily...but she was always in a rush to get married so apparently she couldn't wait anymore....it's gotta be so fake what they have...she hardly knows this guy...i'd be surprised if it even worked out in the end, she's gonna drive him crazy. but i'm just trying to be happy for her and even if it doesnt work and she comes running back to me i'd never take her in again after this.. she doesn't talk to me anymore, she's shutting me out to start a new life...ill admit that I hardly chased her or fought for her because after so much drama between us and varying lifestyles and beliefs, there was always friction...so i cant say that im still in love with her now like i used to be many months ago but there were still feelings there, especially because she started leading me on.

she'd never been with another guy before me and she was 23 and when i met her i was 20 and we were each others firsts and got extremely attached. she is extremely good looking and high maintenance.. out of my league in some degrees and every guy wanted her but she was untouchable...to be the first to get her was a huge turn on but that's another story... of course since she gave her body to me and fell in love with me at moments notice, she wanted to get married to me ASAP but i couldnt give her that commitment at the time. I was 20 and confused, starting college..we were still on and off thinking it could work down the line..i changed my whole life around this girl though...i even changed my major to economics so i could get a job right out of college and support her and be with her.. everything i was doing in my life revolved around her and us in some way..well after about 8-10 months, the feelings toned down and we got more distant and she went overseas for a while...lots of drama specifics that i could go into but no point.....despite that, there was still always some hope that we'd end up together and she always strung that hope on...well i guess not...shes getting married now to some 28-30 year old surgeon guy that she JUST fucking met.. it's a security thing and im sure it's a family friend..our relationship was mostly secret...some romeo&juliet type shit...but thats how the culture is and i respect that but the way she did this to me is just wrong.

i mean we weren't exclusive but still. it's a fucked up scenario... she's also not a slut for doing it, it's a culture thing and at 24-25 not being married is very unusual for that culture so i understand why she'd rush into a secure marriage..it was just sick of her to lead me on before and cause me to have feelings for her again...about a month ago, very shortly before she met this other guy, she visited me and I saw her for the first time in months and we were physical right away..no sex but being intimate and holding each other like you hold a lover.. but i guess she couldnt wait for me for 2-3 years, she got fed up...i never completely offered her anything down the line but still...she led me on like she'd be willing to make it work and I also had hopes of maybe in the future when I'm more settled that I could make the commitment...she never understood that I guess, even though it was constantly communicated...

i honestly dont know her motives of stringing me along, maybe to hurt me even more since a ton of drama has gone on in the past and she is an extremely spiteful woman... either way...bottom line is im a fucking emotional wreck right now and need some support. the whole relationship was like some drama movie that ends in a trainwreck...

again, sorry for the rant, had to get this off my chest....

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There are plenty more fish in the sea....u will meet someone and they will love and accpet you as you are, they wont judge you because of your skin!

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Gutted :lol:

Show some compassion dude, the guy is hurting.

Anyways back to topic.

Religious beliefs are always hard to fight againest. I didn't read all of your post but the first paragraph was enough to understand.

If she deeply follows her religion and she is under pressure from her family, then nothing will stop this marriage going forward regardless if she loves this guy or not.

You said she wants to get married? It seems that she doesnt care who she gets married to but she is more interested in following her religion. If you don't follow that doctrine and are not willing to give her what she wants, in this case marriage then i would get the hell of dodge.

You don't need this girl. She is selfish and she wants to be married but not for love but to followe her religion. Although I don't agree with it I would respect it. You should do the same, move on and find a girl who wants to be with you no matter what you believe.

I wish you all the best but if i were u do your best to make your peace with it and make a better life for yourself.

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Show some compassion dude, the guy is hurting.

Come on we are men, Theres no need to cry about these things

sometimes you gotta take it on the chin and move on.

If its women your upset or angry with just get a hooker and do some really degrading stuff with her

after you do that, have a shower and get some sleep then you will wake up feeling refreashed.

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Show some compassion dude, the guy is hurting.

Come on we are men, Theres no need to cry about these things

sometimes you gotta take it on the chin and move on.

If its women your upset or angry with just get a hooker and do some really degrading stuff with her

after you do that, have a shower and get some sleep then you will wake up feeling refreashed.

That's your opinion. There is nothing wrong with crying over losing the woman you love. It hurts more than any other pain.

It takes a bigger man to admitt he is hurting than it does for someone to say they don't care.

If your way helps you then all power to you but a lot of people deal with this thing in different ways.

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Show some compassion dude, the guy is hurting.

Come on we are men, Theres no need to cry about these things

sometimes you gotta take it on the chin and move on.

If its women your upset or angry with just get a hooker and do some really degrading stuff with her

after you do that, have a shower and get some sleep then you will wake up feeling refreashed.

lol maybe I'm just a dick too but I agree. I know it's tough when you get attached to someone but you gotta move on with your life man. Find some other whore and move on.

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hey

i had to reply to this one... i come from a similar background and understand both of your sides.

family pressure can be so intense sometimes, if she has really rushed into this without even really loving the guy then can u imagine what she's going to feel like every day of her life knowing she settled like that? especially when it sounds like she had the real deal with you... she may never be truly happy again...what a sacrifice for pride and family and religion...

but then again u don't know ... maybe she really likes him...or she is happy to make that sacrifice or doesn't even see it as that

from a female and british asian point of view i can understand that it would have been hard for her to just "wait around" for something with you that may or may not have happened ... truth is the older she got the less chance she would have had on the "arranged marriage" front - u kno what it's like...sad but true.

although having said that if she had faith in you and the relationship then she may have taken that risk...but she just couldn't wait for you and take that chance...

i do feel for you... i'm in a very similar situation to what u were in...where my bfriend is not going to be ready to get married until a few years (like 26/27) and as u know apparently that's quite old for a girl (ridiculous to me though)...again he has not officially "promised" but then again neither have I... what I do know is that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but wants to make sure he finishes all his studies first...

for me...it's a risk...but i have chosen to wait... (hope it doesn't backfire on me, haha!)... because i have pure faith in us and in him...

anyway...i'm rambling on...

You might not think this now but you WILL feel better over time.

She didn't wait for you...maybe she was scared ... maybe it was her just being plain cruel...etc.... whatever the reason, the bottom line is and it sounds harsh but she has made her choice and you have to move on.

And believe me, you might have loved her...but you will , no doubt , find yourself someone later on in life someone who loves you and on top of that will actually take a risk for u!

So, yes , looks like she may have settled... but that's not your problem... if you were honest whilst you were with her then there is nothing more you could have done... so pull it together , give yourself time and space to get over it, but don't dwell on it for too long...

good luck

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There is nothing wrong with crying over losing the woman you love

Its a little girly but whatever works for you.

lol maybe I'm just a dick too but I agree.

Its better to be a dick than a pussy :cool:

female and british asian

Yum :shock:

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There is nothing wrong with crying over losing the woman you love

Its a little girly but whatever works for you.

lol maybe I'm just a dick too but I agree.

Its better to be a dick than a pussy :cool:

female and british asian

Yum :shock:

Admitting to being hurt is a sign of strenght in my view. It shows me that person is prepared to stand their ground and face their problems. Denying that those feelings do not hurt or do not exsist is just running away and not confronting these problems.

It takes a stronger person to stand there and face their problems.

Ive cried over a girl before and anyone who knows me will tell I aint no pussy. I am brutally honest with other people and I am brutally honest with myself.

I have to ask. Have to ever truely been in love with a girl?

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Don't listen to YourDaddy...... showing weakness is a sign of strength. He's clearly not there yet. She would have been lucky to have you, so it's her loss. It hurts now, but you'll find some other amazing girl when the time comes and she'll show you exactly why it didn't work out with this one. It's gonna fall into place :)

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There is nothing wrong with crying over losing the woman you love

Its a little girly but whatever works for you.

lol maybe I'm just a dick too but I agree.

Its better to be a dick than a pussy :cool:

female and british asian

Yum :shock:

Admitting to being hurt is a sign of strenght in my view. It shows me that person is prepared to stand their ground and face their problems. Denying that those feelings do not hurt or do not exsist is just running away and not confronting these problems.

It takes a stronger person to stand there and face their problems.

Ive cried over a girl before and anyone who knows me will tell I aint no pussy. I am brutally honest with other people and I am brutally honest with myself.

I have to ask. Have to ever truely been in love with a girl?

He obviously hasn't been in love. That's how I use to act before I met her. It's just ignorance in it's purest form.

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Thanks to the people with genuine, positive responses. Nicky D and Nikki, I appreciate the replies a lot. It's nice to see some people can sympathize and understand at least to an extent what I'm going through. I know I'll get over this at some point. It's mostly just messing with my head, the whole situation and how it happened so quickly. I haven't broken down and cried. I'm still living my life. I'll still party on the weekends and hookup. It's just hard to know that the possibility of us is now 100%, officially over after so long. It's a mindfuck but I know the feelings will fade over time.

And to the trolls saying I'm a pussy for feeling hurt over this: First of all, you don't know me. You've also probably never been in love before and if you think you have, it wasn't love. It hurts to end something with someone you love or loved. One of the shittiest feelings out there. Unless you're a completely superficial meathead with no ability to feel strongly about someone else, this will effect even the strongest people out there. Sure, some people get over it faster than others and I know I will, it'll just take some time. I have plenty of things to occupy me and plenty of other girls I can get with if I wanted to. It's not even about that though.

I just had to vent, that's all. I suppose if it makes you feel better going on a support forum and acting tough and above other people makes you feel better then that's fine. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

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Thanks to the people with genuine, positive responses. Nicky D and Nikki, I appreciate the replies a lot. It's nice to see some people can sympathize and understand at least to an extent what I'm going through. I know I'll get over this at some point. It's mostly just messing with my head, the whole situation and how it happened so quickly. I haven't broken down and cried. I'm still living my life. I'll still party on the weekends and hookup. It's just hard to know that the possibility of us is now 100%, officially over after so long. It's a mindfuck but I know the feelings will fade over time.

And to the trolls saying I'm a pussy for feeling hurt over this: First of all, you don't know me. You've also probably never been in love before and if you think you have, it wasn't love. It hurts to end something with someone you love or loved. One of the shittiest feelings out there. Unless you're a completely superficial meathead with no ability to feel strongly about someone else, this will effect even the strongest people out there. Sure, some people get over it faster than others and I know I will, it'll just take some time. I have plenty of things to occupy me and plenty of other girls I can get with if I wanted to. It's not even about that though.

I just had to vent, that's all. I suppose if it makes you feel better going on a support forum and acting tough and above other people makes you feel better then that's fine. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Don't listen to the other muppets. They ain't got a clue what they are on about because they have never been through it.

When i split with my first love i did cry but just the once. I got everything out in one go and it felt better. I still felt shit but it felt better. If you need to cry then go do it. There is no shame in it.

It's good you are still doing your own thing. Keeping yourself busy will be key to you getting over this. This will be the hardest one because we never forget our first loves and they are always the hardest to get through.

Just take comfort in that fact that ur ex will be in a worse place then u. Atleast you have your freedom, atleast you are not bound to any kind of marriage. This will probably be harder for her so take comfort in that, I would.

I hop you get through it sooner rather than later.

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I don't know what to say except sorry you're going through this, good luck and hope you feel better soon. It won't hurt so much as time goes on, but time sure goes on slowly when you wish it would hurry by. Take care.

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It's good you are still doing your own thing. Keeping yourself busy will be key to you getting over this. This will be the hardest one because we never forget our first loves and they are always the hardest to get through.

Just take comfort in that fact that ur ex will be in a worse place then u. Atleast you have your freedom, atleast you are not bound to any kind of marriage. This will probably be harder for her so take comfort in that, I would.

I hop you get through it sooner rather than later.

Thanks man. Yeah, the hardest part is that she was my first relationship. So whenever I get close to another girl, I'll always have the memory of her in the back of my mind. I guess I just gotta let it go though and I'm sure over time that'll happen anyway. It's hard to start over and completely forget about the past and be objective about new relationships but I think everyone does compare new relationships to old ones to an extent. It's just how the human mind is. But I know there's someone better for me out there.

I'm just gonna try to be happy for her rather than have the mindset that she screwed up and I have it so much better than her. I care about her so at this point I want the marriage to work out and for her to live a good, healthy life. Although I'd be surprised if it worked and she's happy in the end, she's been through a lot. She deserves a good guy. I just couldn't give her what she wanted but I hope this guy can, as hard as it is for me to say that.

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I have to ask. Have to ever truely been in love with a girl?

No love is for idiots, The only person you should truley love is yourself

Il never cry over a girl because im not a fag. Its only ok to cry when somebody dies

unless that happens crying is for women, gays and the weak.

Don't listen to YourDaddy...... showing weakness is a sign of strength

That makes no sense.

Thanks to the people with genuine, positive responses.

Your welcome.

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I have to ask. Have to ever truely been in love with a girl?

No love is for idiots, The only person you should truley love is yourself

Il never cry over a girl because im not a fag. Its only ok to cry when somebody dies

unless that happens crying is for women, gays and the weak.

Don't listen to YourDaddy...... showing weakness is a sign of strength

That makes no sense.

Thanks to the people with genuine, positive responses.

Your welcome.

You must be very, very insecure if you think crying is for the weak.

You must be very, very insecure about your sexuality if you think crying is for fags.

You must be very, very insecure, trolling an acne support forum on the internet, starting shit with people.

You must be very, very insecure to make yourself feel better over other peoples losses.

Are you just an angry, bitter, ugly guy who could never get a girl so you get mad at people who find girls and find love? Or are you just THAT lonely that you need to act tough ONLINE(because you can't in real life) to reinforce your insecurities and confidence about your false persona?

Or are you just kidding?

Either way, I've read some of your other posts. You're an utter waste of space and time.

Take a look at where you are. Why are even on the Emotional Support forum if you're above all of this? You clearly have some problems.

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It's good you are still doing your own thing. Keeping yourself busy will be key to you getting over this. This will be the hardest one because we never forget our first loves and they are always the hardest to get through.

Just take comfort in that fact that ur ex will be in a worse place then u. Atleast you have your freedom, atleast you are not bound to any kind of marriage. This will probably be harder for her so take comfort in that, I would.

I hop you get through it sooner rather than later.

Thanks man. Yeah, the hardest part is that she was my first relationship. So whenever I get close to another girl, I'll always have the memory of her in the back of my mind. I guess I just gotta let it go though and I'm sure over time that'll happen anyway. It's hard to start over and completely forget about the past and be objective about new relationships but I think everyone does compare new relationships to old ones to an extent. It's just how the human mind is. But I know there's someone better for me out there.

I'm just gonna try to be happy for her rather than have the mindset that she screwed up and I have it so much better than her. I care about her so at this point I want the marriage to work out and for her to live a good, healthy life. Although I'd be surprised if it worked and she's happy in the end, she's been through a lot. She deserves a good guy. I just couldn't give her what she wanted but I hope this guy can, as hard as it is for me to say that.

These memories will always be with you now but they will make you stronger. You find that if you have enough time being single you will be a lot more secure in your next relationship and you wont make the same mistakes

Let them enhance you now, let them guide you. It's good you can be happy for her but you will probably go through angry phase because anger protects us.

I have to ask. Have to ever truely been in love with a girl?

No love is for idiots, The only person you should truley love is yourself

Il never cry over a girl because im not a fag. Its only ok to cry when somebody dies

unless that happens crying is for women, gays and the weak.

Don't listen to YourDaddy...... showing weakness is a sign of strength

That makes no sense.

Thanks to the people with genuine, positive responses.

Your welcome.

I agree you should love yourself above all else but we don't choose who we fall for and when this happens to you its gonna hit you hardner than you ever thought possible and when it finally ends come back on here and tell me you are no upset and don't feel like crying.

I don't disrespect your opinion but untill you have actually had these expereince you really have no Idea what you are on about.

Also I would appreciate it if stop using words like "Fag" There are homosexual people on this forum and they may take offence to it. Now i am not homosexual but i do take offence that I have homosexual friends and your words are not only misguided but they are just out of order.

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Honestly just let Your Daddy think what he wants. I think it helps him to be able to seem tough, strong and above emotions. Maybe that's his way of getting over some of his problems. This is a support forum so let's support his possible method for gaining confidence in real life.

I'm sorry you don't understand the situation Your Daddy, I respect your point of view though and if it helps you build confidence to come here and say what you're saying, it's all good.

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I have no problems but a lot of people here do

Some of the guys here should think about having sex changes because there all so emotinol.

WOW. It always amazes me when I come across guys who have that attitude. You can call emotional guys fags all you want, but honestly, I'd choose a guy like that over you ANY day. Admitting when something's getting to you, and being open about it, is sexy as hell in a guy. It shows confidence. If you're really as unemotional as you say, then that's pretty scary. I'm sorry you've been programmed to think feeling, or admitting to feeling, is a bad thing...... but it's not. He sounds far more emotionally stable than you. Get help.

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You must be very, very insecure if you think crying is for the weak.

It is for the weak. Real men dont cry

how would you of felt as a kid if you saw your father crying ?

You must be very, very insecure about your sexuality if you think crying is for fags.

Nope im straight and proud. Dont like gays and i dont have time for cry babies either :hand:

You must be very, very insecure, trolling an acne support forum on the internet, starting shit with people.

Im not starting shit with anyone and im not trolling (whatever that is) Im just talking/posting

If you dont like what i write then dont read it or write back. Im not forcing anyone to talk to me.

You must be very, very insecure to make yourself feel better over other peoples losses.

Its not the losses that im laughing about its the men acting like women.

Are you the angry, ugly little virgin who could never get a girl so you get mad at people who find girls and find love?

Insults :rolleyes: real mature anyway im not angry and im not a virgin either

i might be ugly but hey i dont cry about it :)

Or are you just THAT lonely that you need to act tough ONLINE

Im not loney but i do enjoy being alone and im not acting tough

im just acting like a normal man should. Its not me acting tough its you acting like a pussy.

Either way, I've read some of your other posts. You're an utter waste of space and time.

Wipe away those tears and man up son :shhh:

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