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Hey I'm having a hard time right now. One of my close friends from elementary school's mom died and i dont know what to do. I havent seen him in 4 years because of my acne. I was on accutane for severe acne and now its clear but i have scars. I dont know what to do im so fuking self conscious that i cant even attend the funeral and console my best friend.I feel so fucking selfish right now. I need some support and help right plz.

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If you can't attend for that reason, don't feel guilty. Don't feel that you're selfish either. Everyone deals with their own issues in their own way. By going in your condition, it might take away from the purpose of attending.

However, I would call your friend. Reach out to your friend. Explain to him that you are there for him -- no matter what.

Not everyone attends funerals. But it isn't appropriate for others to point a finger and call you selfish just because you don't attend. I can't be the judge and jury. We're all individuals in this world.

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Don't feel like you have to attend the funeral, but I'm sure your friend will be so appreciative if you called him and talk things out. I think that's a good step for support.

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I think the most important thing you can do right now is to let your friend know you're available to talk, should he wish to do so. If you really can't face the prospect of attending the funeral, don't feel bad for not going. Many people prefer not to go along to funerals for various reasons, and I'm sure your friend will already have a lot of support from other friends and family on the day. Perhaps ask him beforehand if he would particularly like you to be there for support, it may be that he'd rather have some space or would be fine with you just attending the wake or meeting up with him afterwards instead.

I lost my dad about 8 years ago and at the time I appreciated the way my friends let me know that they were there for me should I want to talk about it, but yet gave me the space I needed and backed off after letting me know that the opportunity was always there for me to go to them. As it was, I didn't want to talk about it and preferred to just go on as normal but it was nice to know that they were thinking of me and that the support was available. For the record, none of my friends attended the funeral through my choice, but if however, they chose not to attend after being invited I would have been in perfect understanding of their decision.

I'm sure your friend would value and appreciate it very much if you just told him you were thinking of him and would be happy to spend some time hanging out together, to talk about it or not, should he feel like it. Everyone handles death differently and it's always difficult for friends to know how to react to the situation but I think the most important thing is simply to be there for your friend, whether that's in person, on the end of the phone, through email, whatever... even if you don't go to the funeral, just make sure he knows you're there for him. As it stands though and as I'm sure you already know, even if your friend hasn't seen you this broken out before it's going to be the last thing on his mind so try to think past your skin, because in times like this it's friendship and supportiveness that stand out, not the state of your appearance. Regardless, I don't believe it's selfish for you to feel this way in this situation. A lot of the time people think that when something life-changing happens to themselves or someone they know, suddenly issues such as appearance and self-confidence worries will be forgotten, but in reality that rarely happens, despite how bad we may feel because of this. Don't feel bad for it.

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thx guys for the reponse and the support. I gave my friend a call 2day and talked to him about how hes doing and consoled him. I asked him when the funeral is and told him that I would try and make. It felt good because by the tone of his voice I knew he was hurting and hopefully my phonecall helped.

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thx guys for the reponse and the support. I gave my friend a call 2day and talked to him about how hes doing and consoled him. I asked him when the funeral is and told him that I would try and make. It felt good because by the tone of his voice I knew he was hurting and hopefully my phonecall helped.

I'm sure it did.

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