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carpediem1740

In tears...really need to vent

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Guys, I don't think arguing about sex and insulting the woman he's interested in is going to help carpediem much. He's here asking for support, he's a new member, let's not make this situation harder for him than it already is!

Carpe, I'm sorry you are going through this. Although I am younger than you, I understand how confusing it can be when you're falling apart inside and nobody sees it. People would be surprised to know that I have major self esteem issues because outwardly I appear friendly and outgoing. If you haven't been seeing a derm lately, that should be at the top of your list. And if you can't confide in anyone you know personally, feel free to continue posting here.

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Guys, I don't think arguing about sex and insulting the woman he's interested in is going to help carpediem much. He's here asking for support, he's a new member, let's not make this situation harder for him than it already is!

THANK YOU! Totally agree.

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Do men show any loyalty to their friends?

Way more than women do. No, let me rephrase that. WAY more than women do.

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Do men show any loyalty to their friends?

Way more than women do. No, let me rephrase that. WAY more than women do.

How about way more than they show to women? :rolleyes:

Really though, it's on an individual basis. Some women are loyal friends, some men are loyal friends, and some, regardless of gender, are not loyal.

I think because women often develop very deep, sister-like connections with their friends they can be more touchy with each other & get hurt feelings more easily, but it's not disloyalty.

Anyway, Iliad is right....we're all hijacking this poor guy's thread, when he just wants some sympathy & comfort...

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That girl was a dirty slut you should be laughing don't take girl problems serious especially the ones you just meet. I use to obsess over girls. I got to admit The ones from my pass memories still hurts me badly but I can make it through. I bein single my whole life I'll be 26 next month. I feel like I've been through so much with acne I think any new girl promblems should be takeing lightly I can make it on my own With some mind over matter work, Jerking off emotional methods, Getting myself into things I like and remembering what I've been through with acne.

Remember who saids you got to get married have kids or even have a girlfriend, Would you like that whore for a girlfriend? You are really better off by yourself.

MostExtreme

It's in our genes to want to reproduce and hook up with an opposite sex. (or same sex for some)

I personally would laugh about it and move on as she wasn't the right girl.

That's disgusting. But, what about the people who dont wanna kids ever or at that time. theyre screwing just for pleasure.

Once again.Whores.

Hahahaha!! Anyone who has sex for pleasure is a whore? Well, count me in! I'm a total whore by that standard.

I'm going to guess you're a virgin.

I meant JUST for the sole purpose of please...meaning no really deep feelings.

I'm not a virgin like everyone seems to think.

I'm a virgin i blame acne!

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Do men show any loyalty to their friends?

Way more than women do. No, let me rephrase that. WAY more than women do.

How about way more than they show to women? :rolleyes:

Really though, it's on an individual basis. Some women are loyal friends, some men are loyal friends, and some, regardless of gender, are not loyal.

I think because women often develop very deep, sister-like connections with their friends they can be more touchy with each other & get hurt feelings more easily, but it's not disloyalty.

Anyway, Iliad is right....we're all hijacking this poor guy's thread, when he just wants some sympathy & comfort...

I've seen so many girls stab each other's back, I've heard so many girls talk about other girls behind their back, I've seen so many girls fuck each other over. None of my friends (at least) do this. If someone has a problem, they go straight to the person and tell them what's pissing them off. You did go to elementary and high school, right? It's a pretty common fact that girls talk way more shit about their friends than guys do, it's their way of "competing" with other species. It's disloyal, but I don't blame them for doing what society has taught them to do.

Also, women cheat just as much as men, but that's a different discussion. But yeah, I'll shut up now. This is way off topic.

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I'm sorry to unload this on the forum and normally never do this, but I feel noone else can really understand how I feel.

I'm 28 years old now, and have had acne for about 10 years. I'm literally in tears as I write this.

For as long as I can remember, I've fought this off emotionally and have been super positive and outgoing with my friends.

I talk with girls and try to think of it as a non-issue. Most people would NEVER think I have any self - confidence issues.

The truth is I'm utterly destroyed. Every girl I'm interested in ends up hooking up with my better looking friends.

Most recently, a coworker of mine slept with a girl I was interested in (and had been speaking with for several weeks - who definitely knew I was into her). He couldn't even pronounce her first name.

Please send some emotional support. I'm a total mess and tired of being ugly. I don't think I've ever been as depressed as I am right now in my entire life.

I think everyone has been in this situation dude. You like someone and they go off with someone else? Did you tell this girl how you feel? If you don't ask you don't get in this world. Sometimes you just have to played your hand and hope for the best. The last 4 girls i told i liked 2 of them rejected and 2 of them returned my feelings. It's a 50 50 thing but you do need to tell people how you feel.

As for crying i say cry. There is no shame in it, the last 2 weeks have been shit for me and i wanted to cry and i am very mentally and emotionally strong. My family is shit right now, my work life is shit and ontop of all that me and my girlfriend split up last week.

Every emotion we experience manifests itslef physically because it is a form of release. When we are happy we laugh but most of us when down and out we just bottle it up. My advice is to just cry and let it out you will feel better.

As for this co-worker who slept with that girl you like. He is obviously an arsehole because he went and done the deed even though he knew u liked her. So i say you dont need people like that in your life.

Everyone has self confidence issues at one time in there life or another BELIEVE ME EVERYONE DOES. How i got around this i started weight lifting and when i got some shape to me everyone took notice and it does boost ya confidence. Seriously dude get down the gym train hard and you will good. Gym work is very good at beating depression as it releases positive chemicals in your brain.

If you need to cry then go and cry there is no shame in it. Ive cried about acne, ive cried after finishing a 3 year relationship its just a way to express yourself. It takes more of a man to admitt he is hurt and needs than is does for a man to deny how he feels. To deny ones feelings is stupid. They exsist and we must deal with them.

I hope you find peace with yourself. You have control your enviroment or it will control you. If you waste time then time will waste you.

All the best.

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Don't even worry about it. "Getting some" isn't worth it and, yes, I have thought about it for awhile. Look at the big picture. Who cares about one single petty skank? If she is like that than she isn't worth your time anyways. A girl who is immature enough to judge you on your acne is not one to mess with. The vanity of some situations sickens me.

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Do men show any loyalty to their friends? Your friend seems like a jerk if he knew you you were attracted to her. Don't waste your time with women that only cares about looks would you really want to be with someone if thats what they value the most....looks? You need some new guy friends and you need to get out there and be more confident acne or not. Acne is horrible but it doesnt define your personality. Either that or just never introduce girls to your guy friends :/

I agree with you! Your friend is obviously ass:(!

Find a better friend than him, and find a better girl than her.

Only you can do at this point is to move on and be positive.

Otherwise you'll just continue to bring yourself down..and it is not good for your skin anyway.

Stress is no no :naughty:

You sound like a nice guy, and I hope you'll feel better as soon as possible ;)

Most important thing is to get clear skin, no stress and be happy :D

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Missyjean - There is NOTHING wrong with having sex for the "soul purpose of pleasure." you seem to be an uptight prude. Spare your outdated thoughts about sex. Sex is a natural thing and its good for you as long as your safe about it. Also dont try to convince people there is something wrong with having sex and you should feel guilty about it if your doing it for pleasure. Obvioiusly you have either never had sex, or never had good sex.

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Okay guys MissyJean is only 17 years old and maybe that is why according to her sex just for pleasure is disgusting. As long as you are safe sex is good and if you are single go out and have sex with whom ever you want there is nothing wrong with it. To the OP I thought it was a golden rule amoungst friends to never go after a girl/guy that your friend is into. This co-worker of yours that slept with the girl you liked is not a very good friend and if the girl knew you liked her and that you work with this dude she slept with she is not a very nice person either. There are plenty of fish in the sea so cry and get over this girl. It sucks when you like someone and they don't like you back, believe me I have been there. I cried about it alot then went out and found other guys to help me get over this crush who did not have mutual feelings. Someone once told me just because you like someone does not mean they have to like you back. It is harsh yet oh so true and is something I told myself over and over again when the guy I liked was not liking me back. You are going to have a hard time meeting people if you are not atleast a little confident. Acne sucks but play up your other good features and you will find a mate. Most importantly if you want to cry about the situation cry it is never good to keep feelings bottled up but cry and then go out there and meet someone to help you get over this little incident

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Alright I'm gonna fresh new angle on this bad boy and give my solid opinion.

1. This co-worker is not a bad person.

You never referred to him as you friend, so there really no guy code that says anything, only friend code. He didn't know you were into her, just because people talk/ flirt doesn't mean anything. Lots of people talk/flirt.

2.This girl is not a bad person. You obviously liked her before. Don't give her a bad name cuz she sleeps around, lots of people do.

3.Maybe she liked you maybe she didn't, you'll never find out now. You need to start applying the babe ruth, rule. Most people know babe ruth led the league in home runs, but few realize he led the league in strikeouts. People only remember the home runs.

4.I dunno what you look like, but most people are better looking than they give themselves credit for. People only remember negative comments. But none of this matters. Girls dont care about looks Some of my ugliest friends are the best at picking up girls. Your acne/looks probly aren't going to change, you probly spend way ample of time on acne forums and none on picking up girl forums. It sounds like you got Mr. Nice guys complex. Your always really friendly and nice, and some other jerk comes and steals your girl. You blame your acne for loosing the girl. Well it's the not the acne. So go to the gym. Buy new clothes. Read about picking up girls and then apply it. Get shot down twenty times in a row, and you'll probly lose the fear of being rejected. Do whatever you got to do to get your confidence up.

And yeah it sounds like your super outgoing with your friends, but you need to apply that same fearless attitude towards females, not just talking to them.

Anyways this post probly didn't make you feel any better, wich you were probly looking for. But the solution to your problem is not to sit home and cry and blame other people. Get out there and stop waiting for your acne to go away. The best way to get over a slut like this is go pick up other girls, you don't even have to sleep with them.

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Alright I'm gonna fresh new angle on this bad boy and give my solid opinion.

1. This co-worker is not a bad person.

You never referred to him as you friend, so there really no guy code that says anything, only friend code. He didn't know you were into her, just because people talk/ flirt doesn't mean anything. Lots of people talk/flirt.

2.This girl is not a bad person. You obviously liked her before. Don't give her a bad name cuz she sleeps around, lots of people do.

3.Maybe she liked you maybe she didn't, you'll never find out now. You need to start applying the babe ruth, rule. Most people know babe ruth led the league in home runs, but few realize he led the league in strikeouts. People only remember the home runs.

4.I dunno what you look like, but most people are better looking than they give themselves credit for. People only remember negative comments. But none of this matters. Girls dont care about looks Some of my ugliest friends are the best at picking up girls. Your acne/looks probly aren't going to change, you probly spend way ample of time on acne forums and none on picking up girl forums. It sounds like you got Mr. Nice guys complex. Your always really friendly and nice, and some other jerk comes and steals your girl. You blame your acne for loosing the girl. Well it's the not the acne. So go to the gym. Buy new clothes. Read about picking up girls and then apply it. Get shot down twenty times in a row, and you'll probly lose the fear of being rejected. Do whatever you got to do to get your confidence up.

And yeah it sounds like your super outgoing with your friends, but you need to apply that same fearless attitude towards females, not just talking to them.

Anyways this post probly didn't make you feel any better, wich you were probly looking for. But the solution to your problem is not to sit home and cry and blame other people. Get out there and stop waiting for your acne to go away. The best way to get over a slut like this is go pick up other girls, you don't even have to sleep with them.

Very nice post to say the least.

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There are women out there who look through physical flaws. Their numbers are few, but they're out there.

That's terrible! Women are no more or less shallow than men. It varies from person to person. I, for one, can honestly say that I am not shallow. I know plenty of women who aren't.

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There are women out there who look through physical flaws. Their numbers are few, but they're out there.

That's terrible! Women are no more or less shallow than men. It varies from person to person. I, for one, can honestly say that I am not shallow. I know plenty of women who aren't.

You're right, men can be just as shallow as women and I apologize for not pointing that out. However, from my experience, and because I'm not in the least bit attractive, the opposite sex (women) prefer my better looking counterparts ---- 95% of the time.

This is just based off my observations and a mere process of elimination. I've been rejected many, many times by women of all shapes/types/sizes, yet the "good-looking" guys almost always make the cut. It's blatantly obvious to me that most of it is based off of looks.

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Hey, I'm a girl, and I have some very beautiful girl friends who really don't date men simply based on looks. I recall several conversations about men we know who attract women because of the way they carry themselves. Try being a little more outgoing, flash a few smiles. Smiles are absolutely contagious to women especially. I know it's hard when all you're thinking is "I hate my face, I hate my face" but you'll get into the groove of things eventually. And what's even better, after a while, your positive attitude won't just be a show. You'll really become happier, and when you're happier, you're less stressed. Stress leads to acne, as I'm sure we all know. It may help reduce your blemishes in turn.

I really hope this little piece helps someone, it helped me when I tried it.

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Also, I've seen at least one or two posts making the point that you're not as ugly as you think you are. You look at yourself every day and pick out all your flaws, other people who see you don't do that. How often do you look at someone and think "oh god, look at her hair" or "that zit looks huge"? they take in the overall appearance, people don't look at each other with a microscopic lense.

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There are women out there who look through physical flaws. Their numbers are few, but they're out there.

That's terrible! Women are no more or less shallow than men. It varies from person to person. I, for one, can honestly say that I am not shallow. I know plenty of women who aren't.

You're right, men can be just as shallow as women and I apologize for not pointing that out. However, from my experience, and because I'm not in the least bit attractive, the opposite sex (women) prefer my better looking counterparts ---- 95% of the time.

This is just based off my observations and a mere process of elimination. I've been rejected many, many times by women of all shapes/types/sizes, yet the "good-looking" guys almost always make the cut. It's blatantly obvious to me that most of it is based off of looks.

Honestly, maybe you just need a bit of confidence. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all. I've dated guys that other people thought were hideous. I've dated chubby guys. They won me over with charm and confidence. And I do not have low standards, either, I've never had a problem getting guys.

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Also, I've seen at least one or two posts making the point that you're not as ugly as you think you are. You look at yourself every day and pick out all your flaws, other people who see you don't do that. How often do you look at someone and think "oh god, look at her hair" or "that zit looks huge"? they take in the overall appearance, people don't look at each other with a microscopic lense.

You'd be surprised. Personally, I do not point out the flaws in others, but I know plenty of people who do. For instance, my sister and her friends: These are grown women and the things they talk about regarding his/her looks, or that guy's face, or her boobs, are quite surprising.

Even at work, guys----and even some women----mouth off and demean others for their looks. A female customer came in for business one day and a handful of my co-workers (one of them female) were snickering over the lady's looks. The guy working next to me was trying desperately to hold his laugh, making their objections quite obvious to the customer.

Whether you believe it or not, from what I've seen, people are very crude and superficial and they really do point out of the flaws in other people.

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There are women out there who look through physical flaws. Their numbers are few, but they're out there.

That's terrible! Women are no more or less shallow than men. It varies from person to person. I, for one, can honestly say that I am not shallow. I know plenty of women who aren't.

You're right, men can be just as shallow as women and I apologize for not pointing that out. However, from my experience, and because I'm not in the least bit attractive, the opposite sex (women) prefer my better looking counterparts ---- 95% of the time.

This is just based off my observations and a mere process of elimination. I've been rejected many, many times by women of all shapes/types/sizes, yet the "good-looking" guys almost always make the cut. It's blatantly obvious to me that most of it is based off of looks.

Honestly, maybe you just need a bit of confidence. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all. I've dated guys that other people thought were hideous. I've dated chubby guys. They won me over with charm and confidence. And I do not have low standards, either, I've never had a problem getting guys.

I could understand where you're coming from, and I know confidence plays a key role in "picking up chicks," but sometimes there really are exceptions. Sometimes it takes more than looks, and in some rare cases, confidence.

It's been a lot easier on me now that I've let it all go. I cannot allow myself to care about such things anymore, albeit, I had an excruciating time coming to that realization.

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Alright I'm gonna fresh new angle on this bad boy and give my solid opinion.

1. This co-worker is not a bad person.

You never referred to him as you friend, so there really no guy code that says anything, only friend code. He didn't know you were into her, just because people talk/ flirt doesn't mean anything. Lots of people talk/flirt.

2.This girl is not a bad person. You obviously liked her before. Don't give her a bad name cuz she sleeps around, lots of people do.

3.Maybe she liked you maybe she didn't, you'll never find out now. You need to start applying the babe ruth, rule. Most people know babe ruth led the league in home runs, but few realize he led the league in strikeouts. People only remember the home runs.

4.I dunno what you look like, but most people are better looking than they give themselves credit for. People only remember negative comments. But none of this matters. Girls dont care about looks Some of my ugliest friends are the best at picking up girls. Your acne/looks probly aren't going to change, you probly spend way ample of time on acne forums and none on picking up girl forums. It sounds like you got Mr. Nice guys complex. Your always really friendly and nice, and some other jerk comes and steals your girl. You blame your acne for loosing the girl. Well it's the not the acne. So go to the gym. Buy new clothes. Read about picking up girls and then apply it. Get shot down twenty times in a row, and you'll probly lose the fear of being rejected. Do whatever you got to do to get your confidence up.

And yeah it sounds like your super outgoing with your friends, but you need to apply that same fearless attitude towards females, not just talking to them.

Anyways this post probly didn't make you feel any better, wich you were probly looking for. But the solution to your problem is not to sit home and cry and blame other people. Get out there and stop waiting for your acne to go away. The best way to get over a slut like this is go pick up other girls, you don't even have to sleep with them.

"Guy code"? :rolleyes: This isn't about any "code". This is about respecting people & their feelings.

He seemed to imply that his co-worker did know. And how did he find out they slept together? Who do you think told him?

I've known people who like to go after someone after knowing a friend or acquaintance is interested in that person. It makes them feel like they "won" something. Even if it's not your close friend, that is a crappy thing to do.

Again, there is no saying this girl sleeps around either; and funny how you feel it is okay to call her names like "slut", but not the man in the situation.

And I'm sorry to burst the bubble, but women care about looks to a point. Physical attraction has its place, and it doesn't make someone shallow to acknowledge that. Sure, it's not the most important thing to many women, but it doesn't mean it is not a factor at all.

And women don't like jerks. They just don't like guys who are pushovers, needy, and clingy.

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this shouldn't have turned into a sex argument!!! everyone can have sex or not have sex as they please!!!!!!!

necro i like your advice.

i'm sorry carpediem that you're going through this and i have a feeling many other guys are too! both sexes can be shallow....... what medications are you on? are you currently seeing a derma that can help you get clear skin?

..not that that is the root of the problem.

once you find the right girl it won't matter :)

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