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Kuhoolish

I just got guilt tripped for being suicidal

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Luxery is one thing....but refusing to see a human being in pain - in so much pain that they are even talking about suicide....that's not something one should feel guilty over.

What happened? Please tell us. If you're feeling this way, then you definately need to talk about it. Please.

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You have the luxury to feel sorry for yourself.

Says my mom.

Hi Kuhoolish,

Acne can be treated, please don't feel so bad. Trust me, some years ago I had someone say that my face looked as if I had a disease and I don't want to say which one because it's sad that I was classified in such a category because of my acne and acne scars on my face. Yeah, it hurt me that someone would say that I look like I have a non curable disease that is normally transmitted through sexual activity, however, what I say is I will continue to fight my acne until it gives up because I sure as hell am not. This is my face, it is your face, we must take control and deal with this issue and not let it deal with us.

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Kuhoolish, you've been here a long time. You registered just scant months after I did. And your posts have always been welcome - hell, even seeing your name reminds me of one of those Koosh balls that I used to play with as a kid - that makes me smile.

Just want you to know that when you're ready to talk - and please, talk before you hurt yourself - we'll be here, listening.

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Don't feel sorry for yourself.Acne is just a test in life. When you overcome it it'll probably be one of the best days in your life in such a superficial world.

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According to the logic of some people, no one one earth has the right to feel sorry for themselves except the one poor bastard who has it worse than everyone else. But that doesn't hold up. The fact that there are good things in your life does not mean you have to feel bad about feeling bad (talk about compounding the pain).

Of course, there is something to be said about having perspective. I try remind myself often how lucky I am. But not in a guilty way. In a thankful way. And I'm sure that there are things in your life that you are thankful for, although if you're severely depressed you might not be feeling it right now. Believe me, I understand that.

Please don't feel worse for this. You have a right to your emotions, and you have a right to want something better than the mood you have now. And let me tell you, it CAN get better.

Take care of yourself.

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my mom just came in my room drunk and angry yelling at me for being suicidal and having mental issues. she then proceeded to say she's taking control over my life from now on.

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my mom just came in my room drunk and angry yelling at me for being suicidal and having mental issues. she then proceeded to say she's taking control over my life from now on.

Ouch. I'm sorry Kuhoolish. That's not right.

Are you getting any professional help?

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Guest missyjean130

Maybe that's just her way of expressing concern for you.

A really bitchy and mean way,but still.

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I remember reading a thing with an interview from a guy who survived jumping off the golden gate bridge. His words were along the line of "The second after you jump, the second it's too late, you realize that all of your problems could be solved and it's not worth it" That's not an exact quote, but I did make one attempt and I basically had the same realization, I'm lucky that the attempt wasn't successful.

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Kuhoolish I hope you get this sorted with your mother, her saying she wants to take control of your life seems to me to be likely to make things worse- surely she should realise that one of the big reasons people turn to suicide is the feeling that the person has lost control of their life?? But I supposse sometimes the people who care about you the most can be the most blind, she may be feeling hurt and rejected as a mother if she feels that she has failed to raise you to be happy with yourself and she is probably terrified of losing you. She isn't exactly expressing that in the best way, but as you say yourself you aren't comfortable talking about your problems so chances are neither is she, hopefully you can get through this though.

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I remember reading a thing with an interview from a guy who survived jumping off the golden gate bridge. His words were along the line of "The second after you jump, the second it's too late, you realize that all of your problems could be solved and it's not worth it" That's not an exact quote, but I did make one attempt and I basically had the same realization, I'm lucky that the attempt wasn't successful.

i stood in front of a cliff for about 20 minutes yesterday, decided to come back home and got drunk.

my mom walked in early this morning to start her control or whatever, i guess she left when she saw the empty beer bottles.

i realized that alcohol is not a solution, neither is ending my life, but damn is this hard.

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Guest missyjean130

You can choose to make the best of life and be happy.or you can choose to be a miserable and sad wreck

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I remember reading a thing with an interview from a guy who survived jumping off the golden gate bridge. His words were along the line of "The second after you jump, the second it's too late, you realize that all of your problems could be solved and it's not worth it" That's not an exact quote, but I did make one attempt and I basically had the same realization, I'm lucky that the attempt wasn't successful.

i stood in front of a cliff for about 20 minutes yesterday, decided to come back home and got drunk.

my mom walked in early this morning to start her control or whatever, i guess she left when she saw the empty beer bottles.

i realized that alcohol is not a solution, neither is ending my life, but damn is this hard.

on a good side note, you didnt think about it THAT long, so you must not be that suicidal! :)

but really, we are here for you. pm me if you want to let stuff out or try to see a consuler.

god speed.

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yeah, i'm going to the doctor's soon.

my mom has taken full control though, there's an 11 o clock curfew now (no electronics allowed after), i can't hang out with friends til i get a job, and she's going to decide what i do from now on basically.

i used to have a job, but my problems interfered with it to the point that i couldn't handle even going. i was making barely any friends and tried to avoid everyone. got some of the worst depression during shifts. worked at a bar.

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a lot happened. all i'll say is i need help.

i'm not comfortable talking about it at all.

I don't get it, why did you make this post if you didn't want to talk about it?

Anyway, I do have some thoughts about this myself and it's going to sound cruel, but trust me this is coming from a few years of depression I went thought several years ago. Honestly, it is the dumbest thing you can possibly do to look at all the negative things in your life and get depressed. It sounds like there's alot of bad things going on in your life but dont focus on those things. There's plenty of good things in your life too, and I don't even have to know you to tell you that. Look, my parents are alcoholics and my family became a MESS a few years ago... to begin with, I was depressed and very suicidal. I was literally about to kill myself by drinking bleach (oddly enough, my mom was the one who suggested that) and then I realized all the great things I have in my life -- I have a house to live in, and bed to sleep in, food to eat and be full every single day, clean water to drink, friends to talk to, clean air to breath, a great family despite the problems, and plenty of other great things. Stop being so negative, and look at all the positive. Life is wonderful, but everyone has bad things in their life. Don't focus on those things.

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alright, first off, i'm 19.

basically, i probably have a mental illness or two that needs to be sorted out. it's looking most likely like schizoaffective disorder.

i also suffer identity loss thanks to a bizarre hallucination in my university residence:

http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/identification.htm

"If you are chronically identified, you live in an endless trance. You have little contact with your emotions, beliefs and thoughts. Your own identity may be lost, and you may unknowingly act in ways that are more appropriate for your (unconscious) role model."

that's me.

i used to have depression much more painful than this, but when you lose a huge chunk of your ability to feel, that emotional pain shifts into mental suffering.

so if anyone was wondering where i'm coming from, this is it. i didn't want to talk about it because it's weird to read about someone going through stuff like this. i didn't want to ruin anyone's day (or moment, or hour, or anything) by letting them know how bad things are.

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alright, first off, i'm 19.

basically, i probably have a mental illness or two that needs to be sorted out. it's looking most likely like schizoaffective disorder.

i also suffer identity loss thanks to a bizarre hallucination in my university residence:

http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/identification.htm

"If you are chronically identified, you live in an endless trance. You have little contact with your emotions, beliefs and thoughts. Your own identity may be lost, and you may unknowingly act in ways that are more appropriate for your (unconscious) role model."

that's me.

i used to have depression much more painful than this, but when you lose a huge chunk of your ability to feel, that emotional pain shifts into mental pain.

so if anyone was wondering where i'm coming from, this is it. i didn't want to talk about it because it's weird to read about someone going through stuff like this. i didn't want to ruin anyone's day (or moment, or hour, or anything) by letting them know how bad things are.

First off, I am very skeptical of the website you linked to. "Soulwork coaching"? What does that even mean? The website doesn't adequately explain it, and the website author does not list any credentials - such as an MA, MD or PhD. I know about schizoaffective disorder, but I've never heard of 'identity loss' and this website is a commercial website which is focused on getting you to purchase its services. In fact, I can't find anything about identity loss on the internet except at this website. I would be very careful about how much of this website's information you accept. I have a BA in psychology and while that doesn't make me an expert, it does give me a little bit of knowledge - and the website you linked to screams nonsense to me.

There is dissociative identity disorder, otherwise known as multiple personalities - is this what you're talking about?

Have you seen a professional about this? If not, please choose carefully. Make sure that the person you are seeing is a trained professional that has credentials to back up their advice.

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Also, seriously... having a mental illness is not the end of the world. It is very frightening and it can be really hard to go through. But plenty of people with diagnosed mental illnesses live very happy and fulfilling lives, especially now that we have so many medications that help control neurological disorders. I dated a guy who was bipolar, and he was an awesome guy who really had his shit together. He used to be suicidal, but went through therapy and is on mood stabilizers. He's getting his master's degree now.

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alright, to everyone, thanks a lot for all of the comments and support, it's been a huge help. without this topic i'd have been feeling a lot worse.

a lot of good vibes basically.

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Your mother has no right to "control your life" since you're nineteen. Tell the bitch to step off. Jesus.

Thanks for this completely new and clarifying vision and this great contribution. Where would we be without your wisdom... :whistle:

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