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Hey! Last year, before I met my boyfriend I would get the occasional pimple, which I know is totally normal, but emotionally it deeply effected me, I would never leave the house when I had one, and i never even had more than one at a time. My dermatologist perscribed me accutane after having borderline nervous breakdown in his office. I've pretty much had perfect skin since.

My last two boyfriends since then have had very serious cases of acne. I think I'm attracted to them because they're both really out going guys despite it and I admire them for that along with the fact that I never have to worry about what my skin is like cus theirs is worse (not nice, but its comforting to me)

My current SO has really bad cystic type acne on his back, he just now will start to take his shirt off during sex but its so bad i can feel it through his shirt. Sometimes, he wont even look me in the eye (ive been there). I can tell that inside hes really nervous about how i'll react, possibly because my skin is flawless so he thinks i'll be grossed out. His face is also pretty bad but for some reason I feel like acne looks better on males. I've had cysts.. I cant even imagine the pain he has when he lays on his back. Well, I stayed the night at his house the other night and when I went to use the bathroom I noticed he had concealer makeup right on the sink along with various acne products... i feel bad he has to wear makeup : (

Now, I've become a sorta pseudo expert on acne (if i wasnt so sick of school i'd be a derm and try my damn hardest to cure this b/c i really feel for people with it) because I was seriously distrubed by my own skin even though most people would call me crazy. My favorite thing to do in my spare time is research acne. I know the stuff he is using wont do absolute crap for what he has and he doesnt have enough money to see a doc. I dont want to tell him what to do , i dont really care whats on his face or back but I have a feeling he stresses about it and I want to help. I want to tell him I dont care and that I know what its like because I went on accutane once. How do I approach this? If i knew someone noticed my face and said something about it, I would flip out. So do I not say anything? Or make sure he knows I dont care at all cus I went through it..and I may even be able to help. He has no idea how much I know about this kind of stuff and how much I empathize.

I know most people wouldnt think this wouldnt be a big deal to talk about but i'm really sensitive about it. It would also be nice to finally come clean about how I dont like staying at his place cus I cant properly wash my face and I'm afraid I'll break out and also cus my skin is still somewhat dry so sometimes it's peely in the morning especially after a night up close and personal with his scruffy face. I'd love talk about it but I'm so nervous. Can I just say: "Hey, lets wear acne cream to bed and not care about what we look like together"

Thanks!

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This is a tough one. I don't know that you should bring it up, because if you bring it up then you are saying that you do care about his acne. You know what I mean? If it's not an issue, then you wouldn't have to talk about it.

Maybe you should wait for him to bring it up - if you have an open relationship, and if it does bother him, maybe he will eventually talk about it.

Why can't you wash your face properly at his house? By the way, I did like your "Let's just wear acne cream to bed!" thing. That might be a great way to open up the topic - if you talk about your skin, and don't even mention his.

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omg reading this reminds me of myself.

I have been suffering with acne since a really young age. My acne started out as your occasional normal pimples then they progressed and got worse and became cystic. By the time I was 13 years old my face, back,chest were covered by acne. You can't imagine how much pain that caused me, and how embarrassed I was especially at such a young age. My acne became so bad that I went on accutane. Accutane helped me a lot and completely saved my face from total devastation, but I was too late to save my back/chest and left a lot of scars.

All my life(most) I have been embarrassed to show my back to people. I used to wear layers of t-shirts just to hide bumbs on my back. I never went to the beach and I never went swimming(was on the swim team before acne.)

I remember when I met my first girlfriend my first love in high school. I was so nervous around her because she too had amazing radiant flawless skin like yourself. I used to always take hours and hours to get ready before I see her. I tried practically everything to try to had my acne and scars from her. One day I felt really bad and I wanted to tell her about my acne and that I thought she can do much better then me. So I told her one night and showed her. She was completely surprised and she told me she didn't even noticed I had acne. She told me that she loved me for who I am and that I shouldn't be so embarrassed. It was such a great relief getting that off my chest and made me feel at ease.

LOL sorry for my life story. but yeah So in my relationship with her she used to always comfort me by saying I'm so handsome and sweet and that shes the luckiest girl in the world every time I felt really down from my acne. She really helped me through some of the hardest times. I really felt comfortable around her that I even let her see my back(I don't even show my parents) after my showers and I let her apply what ever I was using for my back at the time.

I loved having her help me with different acne regimes, and comfort(I needed this a lot).

she was truly incredible.

but yeah I say definitely talk to your bf about how you feel(or wait for him to bring it up). Let him know that you don't care about his imperfections and that you love him no matter what! I'm sure he would feel much better and stress less about it.

I just have to say that your an incredible person! you have a heart of gold!

very sweet post.

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i think you could try and bring it up in a way thats about yourself not him so then if he wants to open up and talk about it he can but doesnt have to feel embarrassed otherwise. maybe get to talking about high school and your past and you could tell him about when you had such problems with feelings about your skin and how it made you feel. then he can talk about it if he wants but its not so much of a 'so yeah you have cystic acne on your back' thing.

i have to say as someone who suffers with bad skin and has a boyfriend with pretty much perfect skin, it would make the world of difference to me if i knew he'd been on accutane. i would feel so much more relaxed and less embarrassed about my skin. telling him could really help him. good luck though you sound like a lovely kind girlfriend, he's very lucky to have you

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Depending on how comfortable you two are with each other, it might not be such a bad move to offer to help him, because I can tell from your post that you genuinely care for him and want to help "because you've been there." If I were him, I'd understand. When I started getting acne in late '06, I met my girlfriend (recently ex, but whatev :) at the exact same time, and felt so comfortable around her that I came clean about it right away, and she was always so loving and caring about it. She simply didn't care, and was very supportive. (She would also get a little acne from time to time herself, but I kid you not, it looked fine on her, even cute). Ha, she even got me a little gift package one time that had a few products she had done research on that she was sure I "would like." Was I insulted by this? Not the least bit, because I knew her well by then, and knew her motives were just to make me feel better about myself. It was out of love, like your motivations, so go for it and bring it up around him chica. Good luck!

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Hey! Last year, before I met my boyfriend I would get the occasional pimple, which I know is totally normal, but emotionally it deeply effected me, I would never leave the house when I had one, and i never even had more than one at a time. My dermatologist perscribed me accutane after having borderline nervous breakdown in his office. I've pretty much had perfect skin since.

My last two boyfriends since then have had very serious cases of acne. I think I'm attracted to them because they're both really out going guys despite it and I admire them for that along with the fact that I never have to worry about what my skin is like cus theirs is worse (not nice, but its comforting to me)

My current SO has really bad cystic type acne on his back, he just now will start to take his shirt off during sex but its so bad i can feel it through his shirt. Sometimes, he wont even look me in the eye (ive been there). I can tell that inside hes really nervous about how i'll react, possibly because my skin is flawless so he thinks i'll be grossed out. His face is also pretty bad but for some reason I feel like acne looks better on males. I've had cysts.. I cant even imagine the pain he has when he lays on his back. Well, I stayed the night at his house the other night and when I went to use the bathroom I noticed he had concealer makeup right on the sink along with various acne products... i feel bad he has to wear makeup : (

Now, I've become a sorta pseudo expert on acne (if i wasnt so sick of school i'd be a derm and try my damn hardest to cure this b/c i really feel for people with it) because I was seriously distrubed by my own skin even though most people would call me crazy. My favorite thing to do in my spare time is research acne. I know the stuff he is using wont do absolute crap for what he has and he doesnt have enough money to see a doc. I dont want to tell him what to do , i dont really care whats on his face or back but I have a feeling he stresses about it and I want to help. I want to tell him I dont care and that I know what its like because I went on accutane once. How do I approach this? If i knew someone noticed my face and said something about it, I would flip out. So do I not say anything? Or make sure he knows I dont care at all cus I went through it..and I may even be able to help. He has no idea how much I know about this kind of stuff and how much I empathize.

I know most people wouldnt think this wouldnt be a big deal to talk about but i'm really sensitive about it. It would also be nice to finally come clean about how I dont like staying at his place cus I cant properly wash my face and I'm afraid I'll break out and also cus my skin is still somewhat dry so sometimes it's peely in the morning especially after a night up close and personal with his scruffy face. I'd love talk about it but I'm so nervous. Can I just say: "Hey, lets wear acne cream to bed and not care about what we look like together"

Thanks!

TMI! :doh:

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Can I just say: "Hey, lets wear acne cream to bed and not care about what we look like together"

There is something strangely romantic about that :lol:

I agree that you should open it up by talking about yourself. Tell him about how you'd like to wash your face when staying over & your history with your skin & how you feel about it, and he will likely open up about his feelings about his acne. Once it's out there, you'll probably both feel better.

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When I read the title for this post I thought you was cheating on him

Indeed. Me and Joey Greco were about to come through with the cameras. ;)

Honestly, I say you should leave it alone and wait until he talks about it. I'm sure he wonders what you think about his acne alot. After all, you are his girlfriend. I dont think you should confirm his thoughts that it's been on your mind. He'd flip out. Just chill out.

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Hey,

I think the best thing you should do is just talk to him in private about it, if you both love each other, your opinions should be worth value no ? I doubt it'll offend him, since it's better to be honest with each other in a relationship. Btw, I bet he'll still call you beautiful if you did go see him with a few pimples on your face. Seriously, guys don't really pay attention THAT close, ask him what you wore the other day... he prolly can't remember everything. Girl's help guys with their skin and other feminine things like cutting their nails ( I've done that :wub: it was fun on my half knowing that he was thinking "I can't believe what I'm letting her do..." ) and the guy does his manly "protect you" thing. Chill out and go clean.

Good luck !

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