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englandsfinest

I need to get this off my chest becasue its too much to take alone

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Sorry its so long... please read it all... thanks.

Im male and live in the UK, and Im 27, I dont have it as bad as some people which is one thing but you know what really makes me sick... i never used to have a problem like this... sure one or two spots every now and again, but not like this.

I look at pictures of myself from this time last year and it breaks my heart to see what i have become. since march this year i dont know what on earth has happened to me. the problem is that i have tasted life without this curse and now I worry every day that it will never be lifted.

I have had many many relationships with women over the years, long term and short term. but now i cant see how i can continue. i used to get women by my confidence and personality, im ok looking, a bit short but hey, no ones perfect! but it was my confidence, my vibrant soul that was my ace card. now, i cant even look people in the eye becasue i am so conscious and ashamed of what i have become.

I went to a house party on saturday just gone. all my friends were there and some new people i never met before. i couldnt bring myself to speak with anyone new. i didnt have the confidence. when females spoke to me i could feel myself avoiding eye contact with them. i couldnt even hold a conversation because i was so conscious of how i looked that my mind was filled with no other thoughts. i dont even care anymore about women or getting a new girlfriend. I just want a blank canvas, a chance, i want what everyone else around me takes for granted every day.

without my confidence and personality i am nothing. this has robbed me of everything i have.

i gave a gift to my friend for his birthday last week. it was a book called "postsecret" its about some kind of social experimet that took place in america where they asked people via the web to annonymously write their deepest secret on a postcard and send it in to an adress... the response was so successfull that they made books out of the responses and they even tour the world displaying examples..... my point is that i saw one postcard and it read the following.

"sometimes i wish i would wake up blind so i dont have to look at myself in the mirror"

it moved me to tears when i read that. how can somone be so unhappy with themselves that they would wish that on themselves.

i dont feel that bad yet but i am so worried that one day i will wake up and think like that.

i am on antibiotics at the moment - i have 5 weeks left.

i pray to god that they work, if not, i dont know how much more of this i can take.

the fact that i had a clear life and now i am shackled by this sickness is the hardest part to stomach.

I can already see cracks appearing, i fear that this may be the straw that breaks the camels back.

some mornings i wake up and think horrible things... and if it wasnt for my family, i would gladly slip away... they dont realise it, but they save my life every single day.

D

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Hi,

I am 27 as well. Although this doesn't help you right now, just think what it would have been like if you had had it for the last ten years! But this isn't about me so I'll stop with that.

First of all, I think your chances of getting rid of this are pretty good. You got it with what? 26? That does not sound like your regular case of acne but something different. You didn't say anything about what you have tried so far to get rid of it. There are many things that might have caused you to get acne, starting with diet, over bacterial infection to stress and several other things. It might not even be acne but something different that just looks like acne. Make sure you see a qualified derm! (btw, antibiotics really suck!) There are many remedies and you will find one!

As for your emotional state. I know it must be hard to get acne (or what seems like it) at this age. You probably go through what many in here went through (and still go through) in their teens, with the only difference that when it happens in your teens, you are one of many.

Something like this really is a test of your personal strength, which doesn't mean that you have a lack thereof. However, it is only when something like this happens that you truly appreciate things you took for granted. Even though, again, this doesn't help you right now and might even sound really strange, having acne will make you a better person and will let you appreciate things in life. You will become a better person (you might already be a good person, I don't know) insofar as you will have more tolerance and understanding for people who suffer from diseases or disabilities. You will probably never make fun of a overweight person again and you will think twice before turning down a girl for - i don't know - having freckles or something like this (personally, I like freckles :)). And you will be more appreciative of your health, drink less, smoke less etc.

My point is, you can be quite sure that you will not live with acne for the rest of your life! In the meantime, try to not let it get to you (easier said than done, I know) and experience a different life. It will teach you a lesson (by which I don't mean that you are in need of one) that will change your life!

Go see a derm soon & change derm if you think that they don't help you!

Good luck!

ps: Also, do research in this forum, it has helped me improving my skin by about 90%! But, you will need patience (another lesson learned).

FUCK, I am sounding like a madman at Speaker's Corner... :D

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i was almost the same way...i had perfect skin,tan and everything... now its so bad i cant stop thinking of it 24 hours a day...

i used to be so well with friends and socializing and especially girls. now with my face i cant keep eye contact either.

that was jus the bad parts of it now im at the worst of my LIFE.

i used to go out all the time acne or not.. but now ive become so self consious that i just sit inside the house all day so paranoid about my acne...im as desperate as ever and nothing works for me so i jus dont kno wut to do

ive been invited to soo many parties and get togethers..ive turned them all down with lame excuses so i wouldnt have to go out like this. My friends are startin to leave me for good now thinkin im anti social now WHICH SUCKS!. cuz i used to be the least anti social kid there was i could never shut my dam mouth! now ive become this shy kid whos losin all his friends and lost his popularity all ready (used to be popular) just because of these fuckin red bumps on my face.. THEY MAKE ME UNHAPPY TO THE LARGEST EXTENT.

ive always been invited to things because my friends havnt even seen me with this moderatly severe acne...i never want them to, or remember me like that...they remember me as the most happy party animal out there and i cant go out like this.. I CAN NOT HANDLE IT.

well that went on longer then i thought but i could keep going

good luck bro i hope it gets better for u.

-me

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Have you thought about taking Accutane? Iw as taking anti-biotics when I was 25 and they helped a little but after months on those my derm put me on accutane and at first I was scared but now almost 4 months into treatment I am so happy with my skin. You just have to keep a positive outlook on life. I am really glad your family is there for you, just think of how horrible they would feel if you left this planet. There are 2 paths in life the negative path and the positive path, you need to choose the positive path as much as you can, believe me it helps so much. Last year I too was way depressed about my skin, not wanting to go out, I would tell my friends sure I am willing to hang out but just to let you know I look like a monstor so please just be aware. I would hate seeing someone I had not seen in a while and they would just stare at me like I was a mutant. I would invite people over and have my lights all low so they could not see my hideousness. I watched the Secret and realized I am the controller of my destiny and how I feel everyday so I decided to think positive and even on tough days I would try my hardest to not focus on the negative and it helped so much. You have to think positively! I cannot stress that enough. Just think about how you are now taking anti-biotics to treat this stupid disease and if that does not work you can try something else. I am sure it is hard since you did not have a problem when you were younger but you just have to try to make the most of it. I wish you the best of luck. This board has really good information, read around.

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Your post really hit home for me. I'm a girl and I'm 19 and the same thing happend to me. I had perfect skin until last year then suddenly (somehow) it all went to the sh*t. It was a hard time in my life.

Emotionally, I've felt everything that you described in your post. And I know it's hard.

When you said, "i dont even care anymore about women or getting a new girlfriend. I just want a blank canvas, a chance, i want what everyone else around me takes for granted every day", that's when it all hit home. I used to think that everyday.

I've been on accutane now for nearly 4 months and everything has changed, and for the better! Now I hardly have any actives, maybe 3-4 on my entire body, and I'm so thankful for that. The light at the end of the tunnel grows brighter and stronger everyday.

Some days I would think horrible things to, and I do still have bad days sometimes but nothing like before. I have a completely different outlook on life now and believe I will get better so I know you will too.

You should take a look at your options. Decide on what is best for you and in the mean time try and gain back your confidence! You'd be surprised at how many girls don't care about skin on a guy. I know my friends, including I don't. You sound like a great looking guy if you got all that attention from girls before!

P.S I LOVE post secret!! every Sunday I go on their website!

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ya devendralover i feel that exactly.....if i decided to acually socialize again..i would always make sure the lights were off or low so it wasnt noticable i hate it.. id hide my face everytime the lights went on...im so secretive about my acne

the worst thing ive ever been through in my struggle with acne i wanna share on this post if thats cool engladsfinest..

well so there was this girl that i really cared about. Usually id jus be out with buds partyin and gettin drunk and then hookin up with some sleezy girl (schools full of em). . Its been over a month into the summer and i havnt even hung with them once and they stopped calling. ANYWAYS back to the girl. So i met her through a friend and quickly fell for her.. first time it wasnt jus bout gettin action. n so wen she finaly called (havnt seen her in months) I was so pumped to see her but i jus recently been in the moderate severe section.. last time she saw me i had flawless skin. I realized i coudlnt do it so i cancelled it sayin i was outa state but ill be home in a week (hopin itd be good by then). That night i went out to eat with jus some guys cuz i dont give a shit about havin acne around other guys, that much. And then at that same place i saw her with her firneds..i panicked like hell and tried avoidin her so much. And then she saw me.....i walked away from her i didnt want her to see me. She ran over all excited to see me n was gonna give me a long hug but i practialy had my back to her cuz i was embarrased for one of the first times. I walked away and was gonna act like it was a joke or somethin later on the phone and then she saw a glance of my face. I even saw a shock in her face n i jus left. We havnt talked since... She texted me once like y did u walk away n i havnt texted back months later.

basically life=shit sometimes...Ive prety much ruined my life in general cuz she was the only one i really cared about and all i was workin towards was towards her. I still cant get over it.

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o and jus tonight another stab to my face.... my buds called me to go to a bonfire and i said no and she jus hooked up with another guy at that bonfire

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You are the same vibrant soul and charming person that you were before you got hit with the acne. You know that, right? Don't let this rob you of your confidence. Listen- you almost have to pretend like you don't have acne. That is pretty much what I do, but I've had a long time to sharpen this skill (over 23 years, to be exact.) Of course, as a women, I do have the advantage of wearing make-up, but make-up doesn't cover all of my acne. In any case, I don't perceive that I am treated differently by people because of my acne. And quite frankly, I don't let people know that it bothers me. If someone makes a comment about it, I try to keep my cool and let them know that I appreciate their concern, and that I'm under the care of a dermatologist. That usually shuts them up. ;)

I have a feeling that people (namely women) would treat you the same as before if you just acted the way you did when you didn't have acne. You seem to know how far a stunning personality can take you, so do it. You have the skills, so use them. If you become a wallflower, make poor eye contact, and cease talking to people, you're going to ostracize yourself and become socially isolated, Then you'll blame it on the acne, when it's actually your inability to come out of the shell that you let your acne put around you. Don't let yourself go down that spiral. It just isn't worth it.

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