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wantingskinfreedom

Accutane (Claravis) 60mg/day for 5 months.

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Hey, Arizona, thank you so much for you reply. It's really encouraging when people offer support and stuff, and I really appreciate it. I agree with you about the whole high dose thing now to get the worst over with, I mean I told him I wanted the worst gone by the end of summer. Thank you again!

DAY 18

Skin:Man oh man, quite a breakout. It's pretty messy, and all over my forehead, which is better than being all over my face I guess! I said that to my mom the morning of the breakout of the century too. She always asks how I'm feeling, and I said 'It finally got worse.' But then I told her how I'm glad because it means the drug is working, and at least it's not all over my face. She said I was being very optimistic, which is good. But some spots are cleared up, though, and some are drying up. Luckily it doesn't seem to be spreading or getting even worse, knock on wood, but it very well may. We'll just have to see and hope it doesn't spread to the rest of my face. As for the rest of my face, though, it's just old spots..like dry spots. Frigging dry scabs stick around so long, but hey I'll take this over a zit anyday. I do get the occasional whitehead, but that's fine as well. The dryness on my face is getting pretty bad as well. I put lots of lotion on, but my skin still looks pretty shitty under make-up, I almost prefer it without because it just looks more hydrated. I'm going to buy a foundation for dry skin. Wow how weird, I'm used to ones for oily skin haha. And my lips..oh man my lips. I can't believe less than 3 weeks and how crappy they are. They look very bad, but I finally got Aquaphor and it's so much better than chapstick.

Sun sensitivity:Wow I burn a lot easier now, never leave the house without sunscreen. Sunburn is NOT attractive.

Other potential side effects:Lower back ache, eek. When I go to lay down, my lower back kills. It's a very strange pain, but it's definitely there. It goes away after about 10 minutes. Also, headache if I don't drink enough water throughout the day. Usually a 20 fl oz. bottle/hour does it, and a gatorade if I start to get a headache.

Mood:Well I'm dodging mirrors at all cost. I know I have breakouts, and I know they look worse in any other mirror but my own unless I really stand and study, so I just don't bother. Mirrors just aren't my friend!! I'm okay, though. I've been crying everyday, but I'm due for my mences so that's normal. Have a good day, folks.

RANDOM:I saw my aunt today, she's like 32 and has some spots on her chin. She was talking to us about my cousin's acne and she's only 12, and my mom said 'Well she's on Accutane (meaning me),' and my aunt mentioned how she was on it 10 years ago. She said she's only now getting spots! Kind of cool that she went that long without it I guess. Also, my little cousin, who is 5, said something so strange to me. She said 'Hey, we look alike. You have those things on your face and I do too!' She had nothing on her face..and I obviously had a lot of crap on mine. Little brat.

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DAY 19

Skin:Okay so, my breakout on my forehead is really calming down. Again it hasn't gotten worse, knock on wood, and again I hope it stays that way. I'm just waiting for it to clear. The zits themselves, then comes the big mountains of dry flaky skin that they leave behind, then the scab. I'm being really patient though. As for the rest of my face, haven't had new actives there in days. I still have dry flaky spots where old zits were in like 2-3 spots but they get better everyday. Now I've got to start watching those red marks fade! Haaaate them. So I switched moisturizers and my new one keeps up all day. I love having a dry face. I looked in the mirror in an unfamiliar place, and even after sweating like crazy in humid weather all day my face was completely matte. Aquaphor is helping my crazy chapped lips.

Sun sensitivity:It's weird, it seems like I'm fine in the sun now. I was literally in the sun the entire day with only SPF4 and did not burn. I think I psyche myself out and think "Omg I'm sunburnt!" when I'm really not. Like seeing what I want to see. Not that I want to be burnt, but it's nice to see side effects because I know Accutane is working.

Other potential side effects:Still some minor lower back pain, but nothing to worry about.

Mood:No tears today! I'm just watching my skin get better and trying my hardest to keep optimistic. I also think I need to get out of a bad relationship. I cry on days I'm having relationship troubles that end up making me feel bad about myself.

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DAY 20

Skin:It's really doing good. My forehead just keeps clearing up little by little, it should take about another week or two to be completely free of scabs though. It still hasn't broken out more or spread to the rest of my face. The rest of my face is just so clear. I mean I have red marks, but those are so easy to cover up. I can't believe it, I haven't had a clear face there since last summer. I'm getting my bangs cut again in a few weeks so that I can cover up my forehead in case it decides to breakout there ever again! The dry skin is definitely NOT a problem, though. I've had shallow scarring on my forehead for a good 3 years, that has gotten better over the years with use of Retin-A, but still noticeable. With this dry skin, it's not noticeable at all. It used to be the oil on my face that made it show. Anyway, my lips are healing really well with Aquaphor. I ditched my other chapsticks.

Sun sensitivity:I'm positive that sun sensitivity won't be a problem for me. I was in the sun the entire day again, and I mean from 10:00 a.m to 6:00 p.m and I only got burned on my nose like I always do.

Other potential side effects:Still have minor lower back pain, but I've also been having some pretty physically rough days so that might explain that.

Mood:I'm feelin' good. I'm not letting the red marks get me down. Nothing's worse than having zits all over, and I try to remind myself of that everytime I think "Ew those redmarks :(" No tears again today though. Gooo Accutane! 20 days and it's WORKINGGG.

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Hey just wanted to pop in to support you. I'm starting accutane in a few weeks myself and I'm very excited. You seem to be having a lot of good with and it's very encouraging. Not even a month in and you're already nearly clear, that's amazing! Congrats :) (hoping not to jinx it!)

For the shallow scarring, I have some too and I hate it. I'm going to get some laser treatments. Although the scars themselves are mild, I have quite a few so it's not very nice. I've had a few treatments before with a nonablative YAG laser and it was very helpful. No downtime and it fills up the scars. Just thought I'd give that tip :)

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Guest missyjean130

Oh yeah oil reflects the light and highlights shallow scarring...it's awesome to be less oily!

It's a relief that you are not being burned to a crisp while accutane, other people talking about their sensitivity scares the hell out of me! Still think you should go ahead with some sun screen though, don't wanna trade in acne for wrinkles ;)

I'm so happy that it's working for you! Keep feeling good okay? :banana:

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jdruler - Thank you for your support! I know it's unbelievable, 3 weeks and I'm nearly clear! Accutane might help make your shallow scaring appear less noticeable, like it's doing for mine, so don't fret about it. Thank you for the tip about the YAG laser, I'll definitely look into that after Accutane :)

missyjean130 - Isn't it! I love not having oil. I look in reflective surfaces like a cell phone screen, and I don't see my shallow scars anymore without the shiny oil. And I do wear sunscreen :P SPF15 everyday no matter what. Don't worry about the sun sensitivity, it may not even be a problem for you! Thank you for your support as well.

DAY 21

Skin:All I can say is..oh my god. I can't believe how great my skin is looking. It's not just the fact that my face is free of pimples (except a few on my forehead from my IB), but being free of clogged pores. All those clogged pores and gunk that were on my chin when I stretched the skin are GONE, COMPLETELY. None around my nose or between my eyes either, it's amazing. It's smooth there and completely clear of anything. I keep touching it lol. So my forehead is still clearing, but it looks better everyday. It's not inflamed or anything, just have scabs and 2 bumps that are going down. The rest of my face is still clear except for red marks. I'm not going to talk about dry skin or lips anymore because those are obvious, and I keep them under control with Aveeno lotion and Aquaphor, best products in my opinion! Sort of a little tip, not sure if it's well known, but lotions with SPF are A LOT more moisturizing. They're obviously a lot thicker and provide better and longer coverage of dry spots.

Sun sensitivity:All day with SPF15 and no burns!

Other potential side effects:Minor lower back pain still. Also, the skin underneath my eyes is sooo sensitive.

Mood:I'm so happy these days. Having clear skin is making me optimistic about things I never used to be optimistic about. I'm not afraid to get a job on campus because I won't have to worry about being shy from breakouts. I'm also not scared to go back to school in august because of how my skin looks!! Amazing. I love Accutane.

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Wow that's AMAZING! I'm soo happy for you! I really hope I get similar results.

My acne is kind of similar to yours but probably worse. Plus it looks WAY worse because of I have a looot of red marks that won't fade so it looks more than just acne. Oh and tons of clogged pores.

Oh my God I soooo can't wait until my accutane! Curse you ipledge!

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jdruler - Aw I had trouble with iPledge too. I couldn't start until almost 2 months after my derm visit. Accutane will clear you right up I'm sure!

DAY 22

Skin:I'm loving it. I looked in the mirror yesterday after washing my face and I said 'My skin is mine again.' I haven't broken out since that major breakout last week. My forehead, like I said yesterday, is still just scabbing. And again, it still gets better everyday. Old red marks I have are definitely almost gone, which is nice. But the newer onces are still very much there. I hope they'll be gone by December.

Other potential side effects:My eyelid decided to get all swollen yesterday, and it was like that all day and night. I thought maybe I had pinkeye, but it seems to have gone down. Also, the minor lower back pain.

Mood:I can't complain, I really can't. I'm happy that my skin is free of zits, and not overanalyzing every other flaw I might see. I neverrr want to go off of Accutane.

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Glad to read you are feeling better about your skin. Accutane what a rollercoaster! Hope your course flies by. I am on day 90 something and it really has flown by. For your eyes maybe try Genteal eye drops, they are really expensive but work like a champ, I also notice that the more water I drink the less dry my eyes are.

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devendralover - Thanks for the reply! Accutane really is such a rollercoaster. I hope my course stays consistent, even though I know that's a lot to ask for. I'm just so clear now that another breakout would really destroy me :( Thanks for the eyedrops tip as well.

DAY 24

Skin:My forehead just has a cluster of scabs up by my hairline that are healing nicely. The other scabs are really flat and should be gone by tomorrow or the next day. I'd call it clear if it weren't for the scabs! But the rest of my face is scab-free and clear except for the red marks. Hm, not much else to report.

Other potential side effects:Minor lower back pain.

Mood:Lol it's so strange. I'm having relationship troubles today, and I don't feel as good about my skin today. Amazing how the two go hand in hand. I need to get out of this.

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DAY 25

Skin:Still just tinyyyy little scabs on my forehead. They should definitely be gone by tomorrow. I do still have 2 zits near the cluster of scabs on my hairline. They don't seem to really be going down at all, might have them injected next week. Everything else is still clear except for 2 scabs that I picked like an idiottt and red marks. I really want those red marks gone. Some are really new and really dark..darker than any zit. My forehead is sooo damn itchy from dry skin also.

Other potential side effects:Woke up with a really bad kink in my neck. I know Accutane can make your joints more uncomfortable, but I'm not sure if your neck is a joint lol. I may have just slept on it wrong. Not really noticing the back pain anymore either.

Mood:Red marks, pain in my butt :| I know they'll fade, though. Again I hope they're just gone by December. Can't really complain about anything else but them.

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Hey there,

I just want to share an observation with you about red marks - and I am not sure if this follows for every person - but I found that my red marks really did not start to really disappear until a month or two after my Accutane treatment. I don't know if it's because Accutane makes your skin more sensitive, thin or what; but after my treatment my dermatologist put me on Retin-A Micro which has done wonders to improve my skin after Accutane.

Good luck, it will be over before you know it! :dance:

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Hey there,

I just want to share an observation with you about red marks - and I am not sure if this follows for every person - but I found that my red marks really did not start to really disappear until a month or two after my Accutane treatment. I don't know if it's because Accutane makes your skin more sensitive, thin or what; but after my treatment my dermatologist put me on Retin-A Micro which has done wonders to improve my skin after Accutane.

Good luck, it will be over before you know it! :dance:

I really think it varies from person to person. My red marks fade relatively quickly on their own unassisted. The worst ones I had (like super inflamed pimples that were deep) probably took me two, three TOPS, to fade. But for others it seems to linger.

Either way, I think glycolic acid should help you but obviously if you're on the tane you can't use that. I wouldn't get to you too much. I wish red marks were my only battle right now. One thing at a time. Probably once you get off tane you can use the glycolic acid (ask your derm first obviously after how long). Good luck!

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Hi! I've actually been keeping up with your log since you started, and I'm really glad to hear your doing so well now! It looks like your doing worlds better than you were just a week ago.

I started reading your log because I looked at your gallery, and I think the type/amount of acne you had is pretty similar to mine...though mine looks a bit worse, I think.

Anywho, I hope your skin continues to get better as your course continues.

And I just wanted to say that every happy post you have gives me a little more hope that my acne will clear up too once I start Accutane, so you have someone celebrating the success with you! haha

Best of luck for the rest of your course! :dance:

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Lionhart & jdruler - Thanks for both your replies about red marks. I really think it's different for everyone. Personally, mine have always gone away within 6 months, and that includes huge patches of red marks. Thanks again for the replies though, always nice to see people stop by!

TCW - Hey thanks for reading my log :) I'm glad to hear you're going to be able to go on Accutane. If you say your acne is like mine you should be just fine clearing up as well! I'll try to keep you hopeful haha, if things continue to go well! Thanks again!

DAY 26

Skin:So my forehead is still scabbing, with just one active on my hairline. As for the rest of my face, I still have two scabs on the very bottom of my chin, which don't really bug me! I know they'll go away, and I never get red marks there. Also, I felt little tiny bumps on my cheek, and like an idiot I squeezed them and they got inflamed of course. It just turned into a small bump with a whitehead which I was able to squeeze gently and drain with a qtip. So I've found that throughout the day, if I even just rub a part of my face around my mouth gently, dry flakes automatically come out. It's pretty damn annoying.. I think I'm going to switch lotions. Also, after washing my face with a gentle cleanser..I look closely in the mirror and I've got all this dead skin! I put lotion on, and then I rubbed it off gently with a washcloth. Maybe this will help the drying, not sure but we'll see!

Other potential side effects:First of all, dehydration. If I don't get water, I start to feel like I'm going to pass out. I now carry a bottle with me wherever I go and am always refilling it. Also, I sweat a lot and very easily. And then I've also still got the minor lower back pain. Oh and I almost forgot..my knees get uncomfortable veryyy easily. Sat and watched The Dark Knight today for the second time and the knee pain was bad.

Mood:It's still pretty up and down. What I hate most..is side-view mirrors when I'm sitting in the passenger seat of a car. I can't help but look, and when I do I'm just like 'EEEEK.' But I remember back when I had clear skin, I still hated the way I looked in that stupid mirror, so I try to take it lightly. I've got to realize that I'm the only one who notices these blasted marks on my face 90% of the time.

RANDOM:I go to get my blood drawn tomorrow, and I'm pretty damn nervous. Last month I had complications with high liver enzymes and had to delay starting Accutane. I really don't want to have to stop taking it at this point, especially since I'm seeing some great results already. But last month I was also taking tylenol religiously, and a few vicodin hear and there because of headaches. Now that I know I can't take those, I haven't so I'm thinking I should be totally fine. Still extemely nervous :(

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destinyrose - Thank you!

DAY 27

Skin:Probably nottt a good time for me to be writing this, I'm not looking or feeling very good right now so this will be a very unhappy post. Let's just start with the status of zits. On my forehead is a very definite cyst. Now that the scabs have cleared away from the zits, I can see the cyst. It's really such a damn pain, because I've already got a huge 1 inch indented scar below it. I guess we might just be adding to that, whatever. As for the rest of my face, I picked like crazy. I went from having one small inflamed bump to about 6 irritated raw skin areas. And as for that inflamed bump, that turned into a cyst as well, wonderful! I know everything will just scab over again tomorrow and not be as red and raw anymore, I put neosporin on each spot. But it's just annoying because here comes 2 more weeks of healing. I'm going to stop picking starting today, mark my words. I really hope I didn't set myself up for some awful red marks with all this picking, though it usually never makes a difference. In the summer I seem to not get red marks, I know the sun helps with that for me personally.

Other potential side effects:I'm pretty out of energy as of late, I just want to be sitting down all the time.

I really don't feel like finishing this, I feel horrible about my skin right now. Hope anyone reading this had a great day. :)

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DAY 28

Skin:Ewww. My skin is peeling? Like, I don't know whether to just brush the skin off with a washcloth or leave it there? But when I did brush it off, old red marks appeared! Made my face look twice as crappy as it does to me right now. I'll start with my forehead, because that's the best looking right now. I've only got that one cyst..which I really don't think I should be calling a cyst actually. There are no heads, so I think it's actually just a papule. It's not red, it's just an under the skin bump which when I have clear up very nicely and leave no marks. The rest of my face, though, blech. My left cheek and chin area has 3 scabs total. They're being a pain in the butt, but they do look better everyday. The right side is fine though, clear except for red marks. Oh also, I got a nasty deep white head right below my lip..like ON my lip partly. I steamed the hell out of it and was able to pop it, hurts pretty bad now but I had to do it. I've also got the same thing happening on my top lip, I don't know why but that's better than having a zit on my face!

Other potential side effects:I'm still sooo out of energy. I'm so sleepy in the middle of the day, that I napped this evening for 2 hours. Maybe this is dehydration, but I'm even too tired to drink loads of water because then I have to get up and pee. I'll start drinking more, though. Lower back pain is definitely not as noticeable, which is nice. My knees are still kind of achy, but not enough to make me take an ibuprofen or anything.

Mood:I'm okayyy I guessss. I'm waiting for these scabs to heal, and then I think I'm going to stop complaining about red marks. It's weird because it's almost like I likeee having a zit or two because then I'm staring at those and not my red marks, it makes them unnoticeable. But I can't complain, I have just scabs and one nodule on my face right now. Go Accutane.

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DAY 29

Skin:It's looking good I guess. Forehead still has a papule, and it's like it's totally dormant. Hasn't gone down or anything, so I might get it injected on Wednesday. So the rest of my face..the left side just still has those 3 scabs in various places. They are looking muchhh better, though. I also have a small pump on my lip near the corner of my mouth. Then on the left side of my face, I'm totally clear except for red marks and one scab below my lip. I'm pretty sure my skin still has some purging to do. I've got some clogged pores (like just white spots) on my chin, and some blackheads. My complexion is so much better though without oil. My face looks the same all day long, and that's nice. No big surprises when I go to look in mirrors.

Other potential side effects:Back pain is getting a lot more noticeable. I can't even lay on my back without feeling some pain and having to adjust myself into position. Haven't been noticing any other joint pain the past few days. The lack of energy is definitely still there, though. I drink water whenever I feel tired, and it does seem to help though.

Mood:Seeing these scabs heal puts me in a better mood! Also, my mother complimented my face today :) A good day!

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Guest missyjean130

There's this stuff you can get at Wallgreens called Joint Juice,it has glucosamine in it.It tastes like strong orange soda.

Glad things are improving! Good luck!

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Thanks for the advice :)

DAY 30 - 1 MONTH MARK!!

Skin:My skin is so sensitive! I get itchy, and it hurts when I'm done scratching..even if it's just a light scratch. Also, the skin below my eyes does nottt like to be touched, period. So as far as actives go, my forehead still has a dormant papule, but it's still just under the skin. Then the left side of my face stilllllll has those 3 scabs, actually 4 because I just popped the small bump on my lip. Then the right side just has the scab on my lip as well. I've also got small small white bumps, teeny tiny..but still there! Red marks don't seem to be healing at all is what I've noticed. I gotta be patient. Okay also, the peeling is getting really annoying. I'm going to ask my dermatologist what to do about it.

Other potential side effects:Minor back pain still. Not noticing joint pain anymore. The tiredness I think was from having to take 2 birth control pills each day for the past 2 days because I missed 2 days..haha that was confusing. But these are the days I've been so tired and I seem to be fine now.

Mood:I told myself today that I can't complain because I have like 90% clear skin right now. It's the best it's looked since last summer, and I need to be grateful. Everything else will heal with time. :)

RANDOM:Derm appointment tomorrow morning! I hope my bloodwork comes back okay :( I can't help but be nervous from complications in the past. It should be fine, though, I haven't done anything to bug my liver.

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First of all, here are monthly pictures as promised. I thought this would make it much easier than opening each picture, and this way I can compare the changes better.

MONTH 1 PICTURES

DAY 31

First of all, I had my dermatologist appointment today and everything in my bloodwork was perfect. Got my next month's supply, and I'm staying at 60mg. My dermatologist and the nurse who saw me said my face was looking a lot better.

Skin:Eek, I hate taking those pictures haha. You can see the obvious changes in my forehead as far as actives go, but my god the rest of it is so ugly. Full of red marks and rolling scars, thank god I'm getting bangs again on Friday. So for the middle picture, the left side (which is obviously really my right) really has no actives. Those are all red marks..god why do they have to be so damn ugly. And then the last picture, my right side (which is actually my left), you can see those scabs I've been talking about. Big scab towards the top, it's healing, as well as the red scab on my chin. All the little bumps from the before picture are gone, but seem to have left shallow scarring. I may be speaking too soon on that, but they seem pretty shallow to me. Also, I've got two actives here. Inbetween those two bumps is where the old scab was, I think the neosporin made me breakout there. So it's depressing to see some potential shallow scarring where I've never had it before. It's bad enough to have it on my ENTIRE forehead, now the rest of my face is going to be bumpy trails. But I've gotta remember, I'm on Accutane to get rid of acne and it's doing just that.

Other potential side effects:Minor lower back pain, dry eyes, and dehydration.

Mood:Blah.

post-76636-1218082308_thumb.jpg

post-76636-1218082308_thumb.jpg

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DAY 32

Skin:Just scabs. Forehead lump is going down everyday. Scabs on cheeks get better everyday as well. And the two bumps on my one cheek seem to have gone down too. The only thing I'm noticing is pores get little teeny tiny bumps every so often in certain places. They're obviously nothing to freak out over. Also, today I noticed my face was a bit oily. It's strange, it's like the oil comes and goes, but it's never as oily as it was before Accutane.

Mood:Sometimes I feel like I still won't like the way my skin looks even when it's clear of acne.

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I'm sorry you're feeling down - your skin is looking much better in the pics! Once the acne clears and the red marks fade, your skin is going to look lovely. I have tons of red marks, so it's both that and the acne that I have to worry about. :/

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Deadbeat077 - Thank you for the reply, and saying that my skin looks better! All that is very true, I just have sort of a deadline so it's driving me nuts.

DAY 33

Skin:So I realized why my skin has been looking so crappy to me lately.. Both the cleanser and lotion I had been using were irritating my skin like crazy. I didn't believe my dermatologist when she told me, but they definitely were. I switched to Cetaphil gentle cleanser, and Cetaphil daily moisturizing lotion as she recommended. Anyway, here's the status of breakouts. My forehead stillllll has that clusterfuck on it. My right side is completely clear except for red marks, but my left is another story. The left side of my face right around my mouth has a bunch of raised blemishes. I felt it with my finger, and I count 3 small red bumps, sucks. Then a bit further from my mouth is 2 other bumps. I hope these heal quickly, blah. I definitely think I've got 3 indented scars on that same cheek. I saw it in a certain light and it definitely looked like shallow spots, ugh. That's really depressing, because like I said..my forehead is covered with them as you can see. Hopefully I see some improvement in those.

Other potential side effects:Lower back pain, dry eyes, dehydration.

Mood:I hope the small breakout heals quickly and doesn't get worse, and that these indented scars start to raise. Accutane definitely increases scarring in places you normally wouldn't, sigh.

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