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MichaelCH

What is the most easy way to kill myself?

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Hi

I just can't take it anymore. I spare you all the long history I've had with acne, I'll just sum it up for you: I've had acne for 7 years...I was once on accutane and was free of acne for 4 years thereafter. Then it came slowly back. Took again a accutane treatment, but low dose since every fucking doctor found my acne isn't bad. After 8 months I just had the side effects but no other effects, so we stopped. I went on minocine, which worked great until I stopped it. The acne got worse and worse the past few months and now I'm on accutane again, low dose again! (10 mg a day). Now my skin is flaky, my acne is worse than ever (maybe as 7 years ago)...everything hurts and especially my right cheek looks horrible. I don't have much self esteem anyway but this acne just makes everything worse. My whole fucking life goes down the drain. I am (or was..) one of the best economics students at my university, I had very good and well paid jobs as a student and now I have a chance to start the pilot school (airline pilot) in 1.5 months (only about 5% who try pass this test). But now my acne is worse then ever! I'm here in Hong Kong because my brother married his chinese girlfriend. During the whole trip I always tried to forget my acne, so they can enjoy their wedding. But since yesterday, I can't anymore. I'm just staying in my room, ordering room service. Tonight we wanted to have a nice dinner altogether but I can't go out. I look like my monster and my life is destroyed. I'm finished with hoping for effects of accutane, or hoping for a clear skin. I just don't want to live anymore. I can't take it disappointing friends and family whenever we want to go out together, I can't take it anymore hiding in my room and I can't bear the fact that I will have to cancel this pilot school, because I've always wanted to become a pilot. I JUST CAN'T! Nobody understands me. My parents and brothers try but they can't. My mother suggested me something to hide my red spots but I won't do that crap again. I'm 24 years old and I want to live a normal life. But since that's not possible and never will I really really just want to kill myself. I want to be free of my worries and never want to think about acne again. Since we can't just buy a gun in our country I don't know how to do it. I can't even jump of this hotel room since the windows are closed. I'm so desperate...I feel like a prisoner in my life. I can't move on but I can't get out as well :( I always hope just to wake up from this nightmare but it doesn't...advice very much appreciated..

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Hi

I just can't take it anymore. I spare you all the long history I've had with acne, I'll just sum it up for you: I've had acne for 7 years...I was once on accutane and was free of acne for 4 years thereafter. Then it came slowly back. Took again a accutane treatment, but low dose since every fucking doctor found my acne isn't bad. After 8 months I just had the side effects but no other effects, so we stopped. I went on minocine, which worked great until I stopped it. The acne got worse and worse the past few months and now I'm on accutane again, low dose again! (10 mg a day). Now my skin is flaky, my acne is worse than ever (maybe as 7 years ago)...everything hurts and especially my right cheek looks horrible. I don't have much self esteem anyway but this acne just makes everything worse. My whole fucking life goes down the drain. I am (or was..) one of the best economics students at my university, I had very good and well paid jobs as a student and now I have a chance to start the pilot school (airline pilot) in 1.5 months (only about 5% who try pass this test). But now my acne is worse then ever! I'm here in Hong Kong because my brother married his chinese girlfriend. During the whole trip I always tried to forget my acne, so they can enjoy their wedding. But since yesterday, I can't anymore. I'm just staying in my room, ordering room service. Tonight we wanted to have a nice dinner altogether but I can't go out. I look like my monster and my life is destroyed. I'm finished with hoping for effects of accutane, or hoping for a clear skin. I just don't want to live anymore. I can't take it disappointing friends and family whenever we want to go out together, I can't take it anymore hiding in my room and I can't bear the fact that I will have to cancel this pilot school, because I've always wanted to become a pilot. I JUST CAN'T! Nobody understands me. My parents and brothers try but they can't. My mother suggested me something to hide my red spots but I won't do that crap again. I'm 24 years old and I want to live a normal life. But since that's not possible and never will I really really just want to kill myself. I want to be free of my worries and never want to think about acne again. Since we can't just buy a gun in our country I don't know how to do it. I can't even jump of this hotel room since the windows are closed. I'm so desperate...I feel like a prisoner in my life. I can't move on but I can't get out as well :( I always hope just to wake up from this nightmare but it doesn't...advice very much appreciated..

I understand you COMPLETLY, more so perhaps.

I am also 24 years old, NEVER had a girlfriend and accutane has failed me. MY face and back and chest are all scarred, Deep nodular like. I have missed so much in life. Because of acne ive done terrible in school and have had to quit many jobs.

i think the best way to kill yourself is too shoot yourself in the head. With my luck i always think that if i try to stab myself or overdose on pills, i will survive with horrible post-conditions. Same with jumping in front of a train.

I understand you so much that i'm not gonna tell you "it's gonna get better" or "there are more terrible things in life" people who say that dont truely understand, but as a person who's in a greater hole than you...all i can say is that get rich FAST and isolate yourself in alaska. Thats what im gonna do... what more pleasurable than eating, sleeping, and other simple pleasures. Besides if you don't socialize or are "out" in the world, you wont know what you're missing and you will be fine.

I can't wait to be and die a hermit. A true hermit.

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Sympathies man...it sucks, I know...

My recommendation is this: Take off your shirt and go for a 7 mile run in the nice humid air of Hong Kong. Just start running, google a path if you are bothered. Exhaust yourself completely. You need the catharsis big time right now. By the end of the run, your mind is going to be so clear, I promise you.

Or go swimming until you totally bale out and can't do another lap.

You need some release man. Make yourself so tired that you can barely walk. I'm serious...this is what I do when I'm stressed out and it works so well. Better than drugs, better than alcohol, better than sex.

I'm not talking about a mild jog or mild swim. I'm talkign about completely bombing yourself and throwing yourself in the run. Do it until you really can't do anymore laps or running.

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Dude, seriously?

First of all, think about the people who will miss you.

Is alleviating your pain worth causing so much pain for everyone you love?

If you're gonna kill yourself, don't do it because of acne.

If you do that, then your acne won.

It killed you and beat you down.

Is that what you want?

Are you going to write in your suicide note, "I killed myself because I have acne"?

If paraplegics, burn victims, amputees, and people with herpes can live normal lives, then so can you!

Maybe you need some counseling or something.

If you can't heal your acne, at this present time, then you can try to accept yourself as you are.

Also, how old are you?

Since you're still under 25, give it some more time before you throw in the towel. Some people have acne until they're 30 and then it goes away. You may still grow out of it.

Have you gotten an allergy test? Have you tried light therapy?

There are other options out there besides Accutane.

I know it's hard, I'm not trying to be preach-y or make you feel guilty, and I know I'm totally a hypocrite for saying all this "accept yourself" stuff.

I mean, I hate just about everything about myself, as well, but...I'm working on it, ya know?

It's hard to remember that no one is perfect.

If your doctors don't think your acne is that bad, then maybe some of it is acne dysmorphia.

Acne dysmorphia is a bitch and it's confusing as hell.

I'm not saying your condition is all in your head or anything, but maybe you're thinking it to be worse than it actually is.

I hope anything that I've said has helped and not made you feel like you're being attacked. <3

Please, don't kill yourself.

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Suicide is about the most selfish thing you can do - you have to think how this is gonna affect everyone else around you.

I know acne sucks, but at the end of the day there are thousands of people out there who would give anything to have a life with acne rather than be severely disabled or have worse conditions that they were "blessed" with. I have severe acne, I can sympathise, I've been as depressed as hell in the past. I know it's hard, but you have to rise above it. Appreciate the fact that you are able to go out and enjoy life, even if you're not taking advantage of it at the mo. Please think it through before you do anything severe. Good luck :comfort:

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You don't want to kill yourself. If you did, would you come onto acne.org (a support site) and ask for ways to do it knowing that people will try to steer you away from it? C'mon now, lets be realistic.

Oh, and 7 years...lucky you...try 15...now that sucks.

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Don't do it! Think of the paperwork.

Haha no but seriously, what the fun in that? Why not just think F*CK THIS I'm gonna live, and live the best god damn life you can knowing that this isn't all there is.

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Dont be a dick, dont think that way.

If everyone with acne thought the same there would be no one left in the world.

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Why lock the thread? He needs the support and some of us others do as well.

I was suicidal this weekend too. Sometimes the weight of all of this (not just acne and scars) builds up and is too much. I have other serious long-term health problems caused by taking only 3 pills of a prescription drug taken 9 months ago, so acne is not my only factor. I'm slowly watching my entire body fall apart. In fact, acne is probably the smallest factor for me right now, although it's up there.

Somehow I always snap out of it and find a way to make it a turning point in my life, or a catalyst for drastic positive change. Feeling this way, for me, is really a sign that something is (obviously) not working for me and I need to change my attitude, perceptions, lifestyle, diet, whatever. I have evolved into a completely different person over the past 9 months as a result of multiple suicidal periods. For example I used to care very much what other people would "think" about me and my life and now I don't give a shit whatsoever. I don't care if I go out and look like a slop, or am not wearing something proper for the occasion, or if God forbid I go somewhere and my zits and scars aren't covered. I hate my scars but I'm not going to hide them so that I don't look "weird" to other people. I don't care if my hair hasn't been brushed in a week, or I have a stain on my shirt. I have a sun allergy on my face and also get age spots now thanks to those three pills and I have to wear thick white sunscreen so that my reactions don't damage my skin as much. Do you think I care that I walk around with basically a white mask on my face during the day? I just say fuck it, really. I also say what I want when I want to who I want and that is the best thing of all. I actually love these changes.

Don't kill yourself. As someone who has been there and will certainly be there again, just ride the feeling out and use it to make a change. Not telling you what to do, but if I were you I would have gone to the dinner and not cared what the hell I looked like, because too bad what people might think about your appearance. And the food might have been good - you have to enjoy the small pleasures in this life

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Hi,

I am very sorry to hear that you are having a very hard time but please check with a counselor on this issue. While you may voice various issues at the Emotional and psychological effects of acne forum, we strongly feel this is not a suitable place to share suicidal thoughts with other members. I strongly encourage you to seek a professional assistance on this matter.

Information about professional assistance can be found here:

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/index.php?showtopic=16184

Too many times the answers on such a topic are not supportive at all, are indeed heartless and cruel and thus our policy is to close such threads when/if we see them or better yet, when they are reported to us.

This thread should be closed.

I second that!! Probably a good idea to close this admins!!!

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