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everyskyisblue__

acne = difficulty getting close to other people.

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Does anyone else have a problem with letting people get close to you, in a romantic sense, because of your acne?

Even when I sleep over at a boyfriend's house, I sleep in my makeup and go home to shower and re-apply as soon as I wake up. It's really made it difficult for me to get close to guys and for them to see me as a person.

I'm afraid of how guys will react if they see me without makeup.

If I were them, I would run away ASAP if I saw myself without makeup. Hell, I want to run away from myself every time I look in the mirror.

I don't see how anyone could still be attracted to me if they saw my face right when I first wake up or right after I've just washed it. Even now, when I'm mostly clear, I still look totally gross because of all the scars and oily skin.

I don't think I would feel comfortable allowing a guy to see all the trouble I go through (i.e: my regimen) just to look like a human being when I go out into the world.

I've dumped most of the guys I've dated solely because it was so exhausting pretending to be perfect all the time.

I'm so jealous of my friends who can be around their boyfriends constantly and let them see them at their worst. However, their "worst" is nowhere near as bad as MY worst.

Stupid bitches with effortlessly clear skin. :wall:

Why not me?

If only I could find someone with a thing for acne scars, right? :lol:

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ok not to be mean but how old are you?

maybe your learning a hard earned lesson here. I've read 2 of your posts and both of them seemed of superficial nature.. If you were a guy you'd run from yourselfif you saw your true skin? C'mon thats a bad attitude, if you would run from yourself cause of acne, then how can you expect different from them?

How bout in a very superficial world that we live in you just worry about personality instead of being perfect? Who the fuck are you trying to impress anyway? At the end of the day nobody will care if you had acne or not anyway.

I'm not tryna be mean, or harsh, but this is just tough advice, take it or leave it. Im a guy and im sick of these superficial girls. The last girl I dated was such a fucking bitch, i swear the ironic thng is she wouldn't of even went for me if she knew the fucking way I looked the yr before we met (acne was mostly the blame) Now if I could of thrown some fucking pimples on her to make her a better person inside and stop being a selfish bitch, i would of thrown alot of pimples on her and liked her even more if she had the personality of a nice girl.

Take this advice, if your wise you'll listen, if your not you wont even understand wtf im talking about and you'll give me a pissy response.

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I know how you feel. I have really been reserved when it comes to dating due to my acne. I judge myself pretty harshly and so I just assume other people would as well.

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I'm 20.

Also, I wouldn't run from any of my boyfriends' acne (not that any of them really had any...the lucky bastards!).

I can look past physical defects on other people.

Even though my acne isn't necessarily the worst I've ever seen, even when it gets as bad as it can get, I still feel like it's worse than everyone else's. It's different when it's me, ya know?

I'm trying to impress myself, I guess. I spend a lot of time in the mirror analyzing flaws and what I can do to fix them. I know this is massively unhealthy, but if I don't do it then I'll just be wondering how crappy I look all effing day and I won't be able to function.

Besides, I don't know if this is just something specific to most of the guys that I've ever met, but a lot of them seem to find acne on women really unattractive.

I hear them talking to each other about other girls that I know with bad skin and they say horrible things like, "Yeah, she'd be hot...if it weren't for her complexion," or "It looks like someone poured boiling water all over her face."

Granted, these same guys do tell me that I'm hot on a regular basis, but I just know that if they ever saw me, sans makeup, during one of my reeeally bad winter breakouts, they'd probably say exactly the same things about me....and that just really sucks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't have to tell me: these guys are definitely assholes, maybe my acne isn't as bad as I think it is, and good people will always focus on personality first, but I just don't want to have anything that anyone has to "look past."

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I know exactly how you feel... I have so many red marks that I am able to cover with makeup... but I am afraid that the guy that I like would be completely turned off if he saw me without it.. soo to avoid that I will too sleep with make up on and make sure that he never sees me without it...

It sucks.. becuz I wouldn't care if it was him or anyone else... but I just have such high expectations for myself... Its not that I will never take my make up off in front of him or other people.. I'm just waiting for time to pass and for my red marks to fade more.. unfortunately it takes time.

But ya.. I've felt that people have said that about me soo much the "she'd be hot, if it wasn't for her complexion"... now that my acne has almost subsided I'm left with red marks...

Also, all the people that I hang out with have clear, nice skin.. except me.

I haven't had a bf since the 7th grade... and now I'm scared to get close to the guy I like because I'm afraid of what he'll think when he gets close to my face... so... i've just been keeping guys at a distance for the last 5 years... and I know I really need to change this.

Good luck to all of you who dont feel good enough.. just becuz of dumb acne.

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I'm 20.

Also, I wouldn't run from any of my boyfriends' acne (not that any of them really had any...the lucky bastards!).

I can look past physical defects on other people.

Even though my acne isn't necessarily the worst I've ever seen, even when it gets as bad as it can get, I still feel like it's worse than everyone else's. It's different when it's me, ya know?

I'm trying to impress myself, I guess. I spend a lot of time in the mirror analyzing flaws and what I can do to fix them. I know this is massively unhealthy, but if I don't do it then I'll just be wondering how crappy I look all effing day and I won't be able to function.

Besides, I don't know if this is just something specific to most of the guys that I've ever met, but a lot of them seem to find acne on women really unattractive.

I hear them talking to each other about other girls that I know with bad skin and they say horrible things like, "Yeah, she'd be hot...if it weren't for her complexion," or "It looks like someone poured boiling water all over her face."

Granted, these same guys do tell me that I'm hot on a regular basis, but I just know that if they ever saw me, sans makeup, during one of my reeeally bad winter breakouts, they'd probably say exactly the same things about me....and that just really sucks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't have to tell me: these guys are definitely assholes, maybe my acne isn't as bad as I think it is, and good people will always focus on personality first, but I just don't want to have anything that anyone has to "look past."

dont worry about how your different from others.. you'll always be different from others in better was and worser ways.. so no need to compare.

Second off again, who cares about superficial things about whose hot whose not. And having things that people have to look past in a long term relationship are bad habbits and stuff, if guys say you are "hot" then my opinion is if your hot your hot, even with a few pimples.

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I'm 19 and I know what you mean. When I saw the topic I thought you were meaning getting near people physically however. That is something that really disturbs me. People who feel they have to be standing right in my face when they talk to me alway make me feel very uncomforable.

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I'm 19 and I know what you mean. When I saw the topic I thought you were meaning getting near people physically however. That is something that really disturbs me. People who feel they have to be standing right in my face when they talk to me alway make me feel very uncomforable.

Lol, that's exactly what I thought when I clicked on here. Some people just have a bad tendency to be mere inches away from you when in a conversation. :shock: It's very unnerving (well, for me at least :lol: ) because obviously all of you flaws become so much more apparent close up.

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Ugh, I guy who I really like said to me "I really like you a lot, and if I had

more confidence I'd have asked you out ten times by now", and at first

I was like yay!! But now I'm freaking out 'cause close up I don't exactly

look like a million bucks, to put it lightly.

It's just a thing that you'll have to get over. I got over a little of it by

wearing less and less makeup each day for a few weeks and going

out and testing peoples reaction to how I looked: honestly, no one

really gives a frick, they're worried about themselves just as much as

you're worried about yourself.

Good luck with it though, it's hard but I think you can do it :D

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I have deep trouble with getting close to people, in any sense, because of my skin. I'd love to just be able to wake up in the morning and not have to worry about how disgusting my face looks, too. But nein. In a sense though, I am able to see my skin as at least acting as a sort of means to sift out the superficial people. Not that it makes up for looking like shit, but at least it's something.

Honestly, one of the first things I think I would do now if I were to get into a relationship, is to show him my skin without makeup. Scary, but I think that just the worry of thinking about what he may feel should he see you bare-faced is so stressful in itself that it would be causing me to breakout worse than ever. At least then I'd know if he was worth spending my time on, anyway. If he had even the slightest problem with it he'd be kicked to the curb in an instant, I don't care to waste even a second of my time on superficial people.

I agree with Effendi. The next time you're in a relationship, if you can't face letting him see you without any makeup, how about just slowly wearing less around him? I can see why it would be exhausting trying to keep up the image of being perfect all the time. But the way I see it... a good relationship should be based on something deeper than purely physical attraction, so why not take a deep breath and just be honest. At any rate, it will take a huge weight off your shoulders, and also show the person for what they're worth. I mean, deep down would you really want to stay with someone who is one of those superficial idiots who have no qualms about dropping someone as soon as they realise that they're not perfect?

Remember that although your skin isn't perfect, it's not by any means an indication of you as a person and rather than you thinking that you're the one who has to live up to his standards, make sure that they live up to yours - if they don't find your appearance 'acceptable' to their standards, at least you'll know that mentally they don't live up to yours and that they clearly don't deserve to have you anyway. Realise that although you may not have skin like other girls, you're by no means inferior to them and don't deserve to be treated any differently. There are guys out there who don't care whether a girl has flawless skin or not, and if I were you I wouldn't settle for anything less than one of those guys. But the only way you'll know which category he falls under is if you at least open up a little to him about your skin. In my experience, trying to hide the fact that you have problem skin only causes immense amounts of stress and emotional trauma in the long-run and in most cases it's going to come out sooner or later, anyway. Relationships in which you're always trying to hide something that bothers you greatly are pretty much always going to be doomed unless you can establish some sort of openness with the other person and talk about your insecurities to some degree, I think. I still empathise with how hard it is to actually do, though.

When I saw the topic I thought you were meaning getting near people physically however. That is something that really disturbs me. People who feel they have to be standing right in my face when they talk to me alway make me feel very uncomforable.

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I know how you feel. I push a lot of girls away these days because I feel as if i'm hiding something from them as they havent seen the marks, and scars on my body from acne. :(

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hey six that was such a brilliant post, thanks for that. im supposed to be going away with my boyfriend for a couple of days next week and was worrying a little about him seeing me without makeup but after that post i feel much more confident! you're so right, you shouldnt try to hide stuff from someone in a good relationship, it'll only end up ruining it and if they cant accept you with all your flaws, then they're not the one for you

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Thanks for your great responses, ya'll. <3333

I'm sorry that so many of us feel so much anxiety about what people will think about our skin.

Six, especially, your post was very helpful.

I like the idea of using my skin as a test to see if someone is superficial or not.

I mean, all my friends love me despite my bad skin, so why shouldn't the guy that I'm dating?

I think maybe my insecurity about my skin is what ended my last relationship.

I probably seemed like I had some big horrible secret because I never opened up about anything real and I was never around for longer than twelve hours or so, at a time.

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In a sense though, I am able to see my skin as at least acting as a sort of means to sift out the superficial people.

Well said six. This is the one positive factor that I find constantly rings true among the members of this community. No matter how deep our pain or numerous our troubles, all of us have learned to see past the flaws in other people. As people who struggle daily with the meaning of worth and value, we understand perhaps better than anyone what it means to be beautiful.

To Sky, I can't do much more than echo what Chapter and the others have said. I for one am a guy who is very forgiving when it comes to the appearances of women because I understand that no one is perfect. As for those "stupid bitches" all I can say is that I would much prefer a girl who wears her flaws on the outside.

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Yeah I have this problem pretty badly. I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable when people are close to me physically because I'm afraid of what they can see. This leads me to never really dating anybody, so yeah it's a problem.

I can't even look myself in the mirror anymore, so I fear that other people are the same way.

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