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Afraid to Pick Up My Script & Start (hair loss men.) But DESPERATE!

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ok..iam in my early 30's, and i have not many breakouts, and i hope there is an end to all acne soon enough for everyone here, people with nice clear skin they just don't appreciate what a great gift they have been given but i hope we all get there someday and soon.

i've been to severeal derms now and after lasers, and a couple levulans, retina, everything they said they could do, my massive pores continue to grow larger, and into eachother forming large scars on my face that i litterally can just wake up to a new one, and it destroys my life. i don't know how i will make it to 40 w/o being one giant hole at this rate, and iam sooo desperate but sooo scared cause i have read so many bad stories about the med, but all the dr's are telling me, skin will be a bit dry, chapped lips, but my skin it will change my life and it will be like porcelin, no breakouts and my biggest concern is my over active oil glands that pump out more oil then any person i've come into contact with, and i've never seen a face of such large holes on anyone else but myself, and since the oil causes the large pores, and now the stretching that is making the scars, i about about to litterally lose my mind over this, and hence why iam here.

i put my script in, did the ipledge and blood work, he said all systems are ago, 5 mo, and at 60mg which i find too much for me to start on w/o any real cystic acne, but i might chop that in half if i decide to start it. i've been excited to start until i freaked myself out reading so much bad...*cry* esp in the hair loss dept.

i know the risks and iam desperate enough to take them all but deathly afraid of one more then the others, and thats because it affects my low self esteem drastically as well. i have chemically induced, permenant hair loss caused by alopecia. my dr assured me if anything some hairs might shed when i brush but not in the brown area which is most important to me, and it wont be noticeable, and it will def. grow back but eventhough he told me to stop reading online, i see sooo many stories of people w/ already lovely thick hair losing alot of it and i have zero to spare or no longer will i be able to cover it up (i use spray on products and alot of hair spray..basically i color my scalp and its dreadfully painful at such a young age to deal with)

those who take it please be brutally honest with me...what were your side effects and was hair loss one of them? i mean cause if i don't get dried out permenantly, and i lose hair permenantly then iam worse off then i started and will likely be in a straight jacket cause i can't handle this...i just really can't. my dr tells me to trust him, but then someone tells me they say things to not scare you cause they get kickbacks but he knows how iam and hes really great and knows iam panickec about all of this, and could have milked me for far more w/ other treatments, so i don't know who to believe. he said in all the thousands of scripts he's written he's seen no dire problems that i read about in the ipledge booklet and online.

i can't help being afraid after reading so much, but the scars and holes and crazy crazy oil production along with some breakouts but squashing the oil and maybe shrinkin pores is my main thing, i just don't know what to do....pick up my script and try it, ot do nothing, get worse, and go crazy anyhow....i have a family i feel for them having to deal with my anxiety and depression over this, i used to be pretty and now i feel like a freak and people look at my face as if iam one, so even w/o cystic acne trust me...i understand what its like to feel that way and have extreme social anxiety because of it. i never picked a pimple or anything, and this is the thanks i get.

i've run out of options, what do u all think, and i trust you guys cause u know your stuff and here i know you all have experience so plz help:)

thanks sooooo much!!! prettyhottie...turned pretty ugly...( 1/2bald and full of holes overnight...lucky me) sorry to rant iam mad at the world and God, cause i had such a hard life the least i believe i deserve is some happiness now at this point in my life. forget the broken caps, melasma, and red scars on my face, and rosecaea (mild very mild) all that used to be a bother, but i could deal with that if the oil would stop pumpin and maybe even shrink my pores a bit as my skin will be drier....does that happen, and will the results last long term anyhow? oil wise?

thanks again!

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