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ryder23

problems with confidence and other issues...

I dont have ANY condfidence at all. my question is, how does one build up confidence?

annnnnnnd

when theres alot of people and is im in a loud enviroment, my voice is sooooo like deep/quiet that hardly noone can here me. why is that? is that related to the confidence issue? how can i make my voice more clear?

why is it, before i really wanted a job. but never got one. now, i dont even want to go out and get a job. would getting a job in a more social enviroment be good for a low self esteem/confident person?

please help on this

thank you

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You can't just gain self esteem and everything will be okay. You'll have to find a way to be more comfortable with yourself so that you're more confident. If you're more confident, I'll get self esteem. Meet new people while hanging out with your friends, do things like that to help with confidence.

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take up a recreational hobby and pursue it seriously. get good at it. slowly you will gain confidence as your skill level increases.

Also read as much as you can. when you read your mind expands (literally). you gain knowledge. you apply it (wisdom). And your confidence starts to build as your self esteem increases.

I can tell in a mere 5 minute face to face conversation whether the other person has been doing his reading or if he has been watching Scrubs all the while.

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You can't just gain self esteem and everything will be okay. You'll have to find a way to be more comfortable with yourself so that you're more confident. If you're more confident, I'll get self esteem. Meet new people while hanging out with your friends, do things like that to help with confidence.

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ya especially with the dressing part, if you dress nice you feel good, like a button up and some slacks has the ladies wonderin

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confidence isn't something you can just have or gain.. In all honesty theres nothing we can tell you here that will give you confidence..

Confidence is like a house, you gotta build it, and it takes time to build, it doesn't get built in a day!

I have confidence issues too. Sometimes I feel confident, but other times I dont. It fluctuates for me, but overall im yet to build stable confidence.

A job isn't usually something that will give you confidence. But if you can work and earn things for yourself and be a good hard worker, thats an honorable trait, that in the end is something to be proud of, and can be a significant building block for confidence.

Just take it one day at a time. Do you have any hobbies? My advice is on days or situations where you dont have any confidence, just think about some hobbies and/or things your interested in and forget other thoughts.

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It's about mindset, knowledge and motivation. Know what you have to do, feel motivated to do it, and your mindset will come along (as well as your confidence). Simple steps:

1. Turn everything negative into motivation. Don't let things get to you, but be realistic and know your weaknesses. If your friends don't invite you to a party, you have three choices: blame them, get depressed over your shitty personality, or realize that there was a reason to why they didn't, and let it motivate you to improve yourself.

2. Know why you're not a confident person. In 90% of the cases++, it's due to feeling inadequate when it comes to social interaction, to not be the person you want to be. Social interaction is a skill. It takes practice. Talk to people. Strangers, friends, neighbours, family. It might sound insane, but try to find out what needs to be changed WHILE you're talking. As for your voice, that takes practice too. I also have a deep but not so powerful voice, but learned to speak more clearly by actually focusing on it, and gaining more confidence in general.

3. Live your life like you want to live it. This is probably the most important one. Do what you want to do when you want to do it. Don't do what the society "wants you to do", f.ex. going to a party when you rather would like to stay home with some mate who wasn't invited. That said, don't play computer games because you prefer that over homework. School and work is important, you'll definitely not feel confident when you're on the wrong side of the McDonald's desk at the age of 38..

4. The superficial part. It won't give you so-called "core confidence", but you'll definitely feel better. Clothes, shoes, working out, get a haircut, blabla. It helps, but is significantly less important than the mental aspect of building confidence.

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I dont have ANY condfidence at all. my question is, how does one build up confidence?

annnnnnnd

when theres alot of people and is im in a loud enviroment, my voice is sooooo like deep/quiet that hardly noone can here me. why is that? is that related to the confidence issue? how can i make my voice more clear?

why is it, before i really wanted a job. but never got one. now, i dont even want to go out and get a job. would getting a job in a more social enviroment be good for a low self esteem/confident person?

please help on this

thank you

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Try new things. Gain new hobbies. I started training in martial arts two years ago, and I think it's helped my self-confidence for sure. :)

I'd say getting a job would improve your confidence. Any new experiences will make YOU more experienced and therefore more confident when faced with new situations.

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What everyone has said is true. Unfortunately there is no quick solution to getting confidence.

Usually people have a few things preventing them from developing confidence. Mine before was my acne.. it just pinned me down. Others like my friend just couldnt open up to people. I conquered acne, and my self-confidence is now growing. Sadly my friend hasnt... and hasnt changed since (thats like 5 years now).

Get these things out of your way and start building your confidence! You'll be surprised how much can change when you're determined.

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I agree with keltron. Try new things and become social. If you are going to try something new and it evolves alot of people I suggest not just standing in the corner and acting extremely shy..(Trust me..it'll equal an EPIC FAIL.) But find someone you know or try and start small talk with someone.. If you want to have higher self esteem & confidence I suggest getting a job =p Other then that..don't waste money on books and crap because you learn it on your own and go through trail & error..no book will help you there.

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For me getting a job as a cashier really gave me confidence. Everyday i had to talk to people and have them look at me. I didnt even wear makeup after awhile. I was like oh well why am i always so upset over this. It taught me that not everyone is a jerk about appearance most people are understanding. Dont get me wrong i want to get rid of it just now its not something i think about all the time. I think taking away that stress has made it better its not nearly as explosive as it used to be.

{edited for punctuation :) }

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Like everybody else has mentioned, I think the best way to build confidence is by getting a job that demands social interaction with either customers, or your workers. I know for a fact that it has helped me out, since I work with nothing but girls. Now I'm not as shy as I used to be...

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for me getting a job as a cashier really gave me confidence everyday i had to talk to people and have them look at me i didnt even wear makeup after awhile i was like oh well why am i always so upset over this it taught me that not everyone is a jerk about appearance most people are understanding dont get me wrong i want to get rid of it just now its not something i think about all the time and i think taking away that stress has made it better its not nearly as explosive as it used to be

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