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dubwana

Acne has lead me to this...

I'm 22... and still get acne. And to be honest with you, i am VERY insecure about my face still. I've kissed only 5 girls... all of them I have met ONLINE. I figure I might as well take time to get to know her first... plus I've got turned down when I've asked in person. I am going to spill this situation to you. There is 2 parts. I'm white, and I like to date black women only, its just my preference, I cant help what I like. but heres My view, and my parents view.

Situation #1 Parents view in bold, my view in italics

1. You shouldn't date black women, it's just 'not right.'

What is so wrong about it? I'm dating a girl with a darker shade of skin. Ohhh my gosh that is so wrong of me. I hope god doesn't hate me too much for that. Coooome on now. Trash comes in all colors and gold comes in all colors. I dont set my standards high for looks.. but I do for background and personality. For instance.. I won't date any girl that is below 19 or has a kid(s) and talks the ghettoness and stuff like that or drinks and smokes and stuff. My theory is.. as long as it's not hurting me and there is nothing wrong with her... then why not date her if she makes me happy?

Who is correct:

2. When we go to the store, or when we're at work or whatever... we can hear people pointing and laughing at us saying 'there goes the parents of the n word lover'. Your a disappointment to us. Where did we go wrong. People laugh at us and gossip behind our backs now.

WOW.. So now I'm supposed to date who society wants me to date? Whatever happened to the theory of me dating a girl that is right and one who makes me happy, rather than one that the next door neigbors won't talk about. I'm sure that these people that talk about me or laugh at me or whatever... lol yea I'm sure that these people's lives are so perfect and so flawless that they have nothing better to do than to degrade me for something that isn't even degradable... except only to ignorant people's standards. I don't believe that people are everywhere talking about them and that people are out to get them... just like they never believed me in school when I would hear people say "wow.. look at the mushrooms on his face... he can make a pizza shop jealous". People really did say that behind my backs. I heard it. But I just told them that I don't believe people were talking about them and me dating black girls and I told them that's ridiculous just like they never believed me when I'd come home crying saying that people talked about my acne.

Who is correct here?

3. We've been living 50 years, and know that black guys dont like when white men date their women.. its too much of a risk.

So now I'm supposed to live in fear all my life because a black person might not approve of the woman that makes me happy? I've seen black men before try to bully a white guy because his WHITE woman looked good. I don't give a shit what a black guy thinks of me dating a black girl. Because I will put money on it that the black guys that date white women aren't too worried about how the white men feel about that. (Not saying I care about black guys and white women... because I don't care.. date who you want).

4. Why can't you find yourself a nice white woman?

I've tried.. most white women have laughed at me. To be honest.. black women are the only ones that have ever given me a chance.

5. Yes your grown and 22 years old, if you want to play the "I'm 22 years old and can date who I want game, then we'll treat you like a man, starting now... so pay rent".

]I really have no counter for that. They actually got me there. If any of you guys know a counter.. lol please tell me.

Situation #2. Most of the women around here either wanna use me for sex, transportation, money... etc. TWICE in my lifetime, I have had women travel from out of state and stay at a hotel to see me. Once around Christmas04/New Years 05... and once earlier this year... and that apparently is soooo sooo wrong too. Yeah.. it sounds wrong from the start... but read the debate and get my side of the story.

1. Any woman that comes out of state to stay with you in a hotel room.. there is a reason why they come so far, they are either desperate, or they are trash, probably has diseases or is running from a guy down there.

In today's day and age... mostly everybody has a computer/myspace page. The same girl that you meet at the market, or at church or whatever, chances are, are that you could probably meet her just as easily at a restraunt, school, club whatever. Just because you meet someone on the computer doesn't mean they are some disease infested murderer that wants to kill you and take your money. Not everyone that meets people off the computer is some evil monster, and not everyone that goes to school and goes to church is some perfect saint either.

As for the traveling out of state to meet someone issue. Why not? They don't know about this girl like I do. They weren't the ones that talked to her on the phone for 3+ hours a day everyday for the past 3 years like I have. Maybe they just can't find the right guy for them down there. Maybe the guys just want to get in their pants and thats it. Maybe the guys down there do them wrong like the girls up here do me wrong. If I had the chance, I'd travel and meet a girl from a different state, and I'm not some disease infested money hungry psyco path. My theory is.. if you have the car that can travel, if you can get the time off of work that you need, and you have more than enough money needed to travel... and if you really feel for that person bad enough and are willing to do it... then why not go and travel? You may not meet your 'significant other' serving old people food at the roast beef dinner after church. And the guy or girl of your dreams may not be who lived down the street from you for all of your 22 years of life. What is the point of sitting around and waiting for the 'right' girl to come from your city or your town.. if you already found someone that makes you happy somewhere else. If you don't jump on that opportunity.. in a few years from now you may kick yourself because you missed out on something really good because you were waiting for it to be within driving distance of your house.

One more thing.. they make it sound so bad when they say.. "yeah.. that girl that your shackin up in a motel with".... well.. its not like I have sex or whatever. It's not like I make internet 'booty calls'. The women understand that. And when we did have sex.. I made both of us go and get tested first to make sure nothing was wrong. We went on dates, out to dinner, movies, and bowling and stuff. So if she was 'here'.. I guess it would be.. that girl your "shackin up in a house with". It makes no sense.

The reason that 'acne had lead me to this'... is that maybe I would have had that "perfect white girl" long ago if it wasn't for acne. To tell you the truth.. I don't care. I like what I like.

I mean.. my parents are the best besides this. I'm not a rich kid.. far from it.. but all my life they have given me everything I've NEEDED. I've got alot of what I wanted... they've taken me to vacations, football games, baseball games, wwf matches at the arena, my dad co-signed a loan for a car for me. It's just that they don't like that I date women of color. And I'm honestly trying my best to find out where 'i'm wrong' for dating black women. But I really can't find where I'm wrong. And I'm thinking about moving out.. because I can't take it. And my friend said I am welcome to stay at his place anytime. Please help me out and give me some advice people. I am really in need.

I need your help people.. read those situations and tell me who is right. Becuase I am thinki

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I totally agree with you. You should define you reality and do whatever makes you happy.

I know in this world there is racism, reverse racism, and its very hard to deal with. Trust me i grew up half asian in a "hick" town. It hurts to be judged by your appearance and not your character.

Whatever your preference, whatever you chose in life, be proud of who you are. If you are at peace with yourself, others harmful words cannot effect you. Just know that nothing effects your world, but your own disposition on situations.

I personally had a hard time growing up being called chinese chicken, chinese bitch. It was even harder once i hit highschool and was bombarded with acne. I heard a few people say "sars." LOL

Kind of funny, but the point here is, if you accept that others may not accept you(at face level\etc), you can accept that your own happiness and outlook are fully in your control.

I saw a true life on mtv, about a white guy that liked black woman and his struggles, maybe you should check it out.

As for others that talk bad about your preference tell them straight up. Love doesn't see "color". Anyways be compassionate towards their ignorance. Show\Tell them its whats inside that really matters to you.

And as for your parents, talk it out. They will accept you for who you are, once they really see whats inside.

No offense but your situation reminds me a little of Kip in Napoleon Dynomite. So go get you some bling bling. J\k

Although internet dating is a great way to meet people before you "meet people" from my point of view(please don't be offended) it seems your afraid to open up to people in the "real world."

Im sure where you are there are woman you can meet white\black\asian is besides the point. Meeting people online is still having a "wall" up about accepting who you are.

I say continue dating online, but slowly get into the comfort zone of meeting woman in the "real world." And you can always just be friends with girls, just get comfortable with expressing who you are around woman.

Soo you've got turned down before, who hasnt???? Everyone has, but the battle is lost once you stop trying!!!

Be yourself!! Express yourself!! Expand yourself!!! Be Happy!!

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good on you man being yourself,,, i live in australia and i personally dont like aussie chicks. justed because of there "i'm better then you " attitude.

Me I find myself get along better with asian girls =)

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you must live in the south huh? im a white dude and i like black chicks 2, dated a mixed white and black girl for 3 yrs. Theres nothin wrong with dating who you wanna date man. My parents weren't too cool with it but mine got over it but they never liked her which was one reason we broke up but do what you want man and what makes u happy.

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hahaha man you remind me of one of my friends who had a stage of liking blackm women.

ok my opinions on the situation are mixed and may sound racist but aren't..

I have no problem dating a black woman. I've never done it before, but there was a blak girl in my management class this yr who had a nice sweet face, beautiful eyes, and a nice body and seemed nice and well spoken and if i had a chance I would of dated her.

I come from an italian backround, but im not the real crazy italian. I'm not 1 of thos kinds who can only date other italian women, I'll date of any race.

I live in NY, and theres 2 types of black women here. theres women here who are black, and then theres ghetto black women. My opinion is theres nothing wrong with dating a black women, but dont date a black woman from the hood. Im not tryna be funny either. I work in an area that is just outside the projects, and theres alot of black women that come in from these project areas that are like "ghetto" if you know what I mean.. They are the types that have attitude and go for the ghetto black guys with tattoos, or else the baddest white boy around. And the funny thing with my friend, was he's alittl white boy, but for some reason he would put pictures of himself on the computer tryna look like a thug to get these ghetto types of women and its just not a match.

for me, If i ever found myself in love witha black women, i know my family probably wouldn't be very supportive of it, actually i know they wont, but if she's worth it i would put it all aside and not care what any1 thinx.

My basic opinion is theres nothing wrong dating a black woman, its perfectly ok.. But if your dating a black woman from the hood who has attitude, and your a simplelaid back white guy, then thats gonna be alil off and a disaster.

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5. Yes your grown and 22 years old, if you want to play the "I'm 22 years old and can date who I want game, then we'll treat you like a man, starting now... so pay rent".

]I really have no counter for that. They actually got me there. If any of you guys know a counter.. lol please tell me.

Move out.

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