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Oh, I'm just going to say this weekend I had a blast with my youth group at camp.

And I wore absolutely NO makeup! Cheers!

It's true, when you go out and get active and actually DO something, you forget acne and moping and all that gross stuff.

But I DID make an observation, we had soft water from our showers and I made a significant difference on hair(texture) and perhaps skin...?

On the downside, I think this guy likes me and I like him alot. Then there's this other guy that I like ALOT too. I never thought I could have equal feelings for two different people. Okay, so I'm 15 this summer. One's 16. One's 18. One lives here. One lives out of state(visiting on holidays). Both smart/charming/funny/playful.

This is breaking my heart. I don't want to ruin my relationship with either of them(I'm not two-timing or anything though, nothing's 'set in stone') except I have been intimate(not sex and not planning on it) with the 18 year old. Help me out?!

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-sigh-

I have no idea what to do.

Guy B is visiting this summer, coming all the way down to Texas for me, but Guy A is equally amazing.

Dilemma. Problem time. But ALAS! I shall not stress.

Breakouts are a no-no right now :boohoo:

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I'm a guy, so I'm not sure how exactly to respond. But I think that somebody closer to your age, and closer in proximity, is the way to go. Long distance relationships very rarely work, and they're really just painful. You're young and should have fun while you're at home, without agonizing about somebody far away. Also, an 18 year old will probably be more sexually aggressive/demanding.

just don't date two guys at once. That would suck for them (i think)

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That's true.

But I just can't seem to let Guy B go.

When I last saw him a couple months ago, he was a gentleman, never demanding really.

So control was in MY hands.

I can't make our relationship 'just friends'.

It's so hard.

But I understand where you're coming from completely.

I guess I just have too much hope and too much faith in people and relationships.

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that's something I really need to work on... Not wearing makeup. You feel so proud of yourself for accomplishing that, its huge.

As for the guy troubles, I agree with indoor kid. Long distance relationships are hard (or from what I've heard) and he is going to be more demanding sexually.

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If it makes you feel any better Kaley, from experience and spoken word and plenty of convos with guy friends, guys DON'T notice a diff. when you have make-up on and when you don't.

I was talking to my friend yesterday and he was like "uh, i really don't care. it's not relevant"

They would only notice if you make racoon eyes out of your eyeliner.

If something about you looks diff., guys automatically assume it's the hair.

At least, that's how it is with me. :shifty:

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Girls are usually always in command at the beginning of a relationship. Over time that tends to change, especially after it becomes more intimate. It might feel less exciting dating a guy only a year older, but you'd probably get a lot more out of the relationship. Good luck working it out : )

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To be honest, I think that's quite sick that some 18 year old is being 'intimate' with a 15 year old. There's quite a big difference between those two ages when you're a teenager. I'd be disgusted w/ myself if I wound up fooling around with a 16 year old (I'm 19). I'd say do yourself a favor and go for the 16 y/o, the 18 y/o definitely only wants one thing.

BTW, you don't like anyone A LOT if you like two people. You just have a crush - I'd say the two don't really go hand in hand.

That's true.

But I just can't seem to let Guy B go.

When I last saw him a couple months ago, he was a gentleman, never demanding really.

So control was in MY hands.

I can't make our relationship 'just friends'.

It's so hard.

But I understand where you're coming from completely.

I guess I just have too much hope and too much faith in people and relationships.

Sorry I hate to break it to you, but women are RARELY in control until you grow up (20+). Especially at 15.. girls are so easily manipulated it's scary. As the other guy pointed out, the girl always seems to be in control at first. However, as time goes on and you grow more and more attached, the guy will be more and more in control. It literally gets to the point where the guy can lie, cheat, control you, etc and you'll still want him just as badly as you did in the beginning. I see it happen with EVERY girl, even the ones who swear it won't happen to them.

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I agree with most of the guys here, it's just not right be intimate with an adult, and technically he is. And I agree that this is just a crush so I'd just keep them as nice friends. You might not like it, and besides, the younger of the two is your best bet for something else in the future.

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To be honest, I think that's quite sick that some 18 year old is being 'intimate' with a 15 year old. There's quite a big difference between those two ages when you're a teenager. I'd be disgusted w/ myself if I wound up fooling around with a 16 year old (I'm 19). I'd say do yourself a favor and go for the 16 y/o, the 18 y/o definitely only wants one thing.

.

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My first thoughts too, but I guess as you have already started with him that boundary is shattered!

"just don't date two guys at once. That would suck for them (i think)"

- Excellent choice of words and probably the correct sentiment.

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As someone IN a long distance relationship, yes, it can be difficult but the end result of being together is SO very worth every second ur apart and also the most wonderful thing knowing that you have finally found your true person. Just to clear things up, some LDR's dont work not because of the distance but because the individuals involved arent fully committed. It's about the people involved, not the type of relationship.

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Wait wait, which one is the visiting one? The 18 year old? Hmm, maybe you should wait til he leaves, jump the 16 year old one and keep in touch with the 18 year old in case things don't work out? Just being hypothetical in case you want to have your cake and eat it too :think:

I also understand everyone's concern about the age thing but I mean, they would think differently if they were in a similar position and had such feelings :confused:

I mean, as long as you're in control of what's going on... but you have to realize that even if there is one instance where he makes you do something you don't want to, that signals the end, ok?

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Wait wait, which one is the visiting one? The 18 year old? Hmm, maybe you should wait til he leaves, jump the 16 year old one and keep in touch with the 18 year old in case things don't work out? Just being hypothetical in case you want to have your cake and eat it too :think:

That's just being selfish and unfaithful.

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Sorry? I'm not saying it is something I would do but it is a suggestion... she can't seem to let go of either. :shrug:

I am a bit cynical at the moment... -_-

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Nothing wrong with an 18 year old going out with a 15 year old. My 'first date' was at 14 with an 18 year old. Of course it helped that our respective parental units were good friends so he knew he had to be on his absolutely BEST behavior. :)

It does matter though how either one of them treats you. It is not fair to either one of them to go out with both IF you tell them it's an exclusive relationship. Just a few dates to see if you mesh, now that's fine and you don't have to be exclusive with either one. At 14/15 a long distance relationship is no fun at all. At that age, you want to be with the person, to do things together and learn more about yourself and socializing. It really is easier to have a long-distance relationship when one is older and more experienced (really! I've done both at both stages of life).

If you want to decide, you'll have to decide which one is nicer or more closely matches what you're currently looking for in a boyfriend. There's no hurry, though.

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Nothing wrong with an 18 year old going out with a 15 year old. My 'first date' was at 14 with an 18 year old. Of course it helped that our respective parental units were good friends so he knew he had to be on his absolutely BEST behavior. :)

It does matter though how either one of them treats you. It is not fair to either one of them to go out with both IF you tell them it's an exclusive relationship. Just a few dates to see if you mesh, now that's fine and you don't have to be exclusive with either one. At 14/15 a long distance relationship is no fun at all. At that age, you want to be with the person, to do things together and learn more about yourself and socializing. It really is easier to have a long-distance relationship when one is older and more experienced (really! I've done both at both stages of life).

If you want to decide, you'll have to decide which one is nicer or more closely matches what you're currently looking for in a boyfriend. There's no hurry, though.

Excellent advice Wynne :D

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Nothing wrong with an 18 year old going out with a 15 year old. My 'first date' was at 14 with an 18 year old. Of course it helped that our respective parental units were good friends so he knew he had to be on his absolutely BEST behavior. :)

It does matter though how either one of them treats you. It is not fair to either one of them to go out with both IF you tell them it's an exclusive relationship. Just a few dates to see if you mesh, now that's fine and you don't have to be exclusive with either one. At 14/15 a long distance relationship is no fun at all. At that age, you want to be with the person, to do things together and learn more about yourself and socializing. It really is easier to have a long-distance relationship when one is older and more experienced (really! I've done both at both stages of life).

If you want to decide, you'll have to decide which one is nicer or more closely matches what you're currently looking for in a boyfriend. There's no hurry, though.

Excellent advice Wynne :D

As always!

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These are all very helpful responses.

To the 'sick' response for the 18 year old(he JUST turned 18, btw) I know I know, it seems like a huge gap, especially at my age. I know I'm young, I'm not going to say I know it all and that I'm as experienced as I'll ever be, because that would be a lie, but I honestly consider our relationship 'pure'.

Plus, my parents love him.

Hmm have any of you guys read New Moon(in the Twilight series)?

I feel like Bella when Edward left her, and she's lonely so she turns to Jacob for comfort.

She doesn't especially like him, but she loves being in his company because he makes her happy.

The situation is just complicated, and my feelings are a mess right now.

CAR WRECK. :wacko:

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Yes I've read New Moon (and all the other books in the series), and I've got to say, it's pretty INSANE if you feel like Bella every time he leaves. I mean, Bella was depressed and pretty much SUICIDAL in that book! Holy frick, she was SO needy, I actually wanted to punch her in the face. Don't be like her, please. :wall:

Lol sorry about the rant. Back to your question. Definitely go for the 16-year-old, as others have already stated.

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Hahaha I meant the general situation(with one guy being away and one there for 'support') not the suicidal feelings she had.

Then again, you can't blame her, she's under a VAMPIRE'S spell. ;]

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Yeah. The only problem is, I have these nasty red marks everywhere! Curse me for picking! Plus, i have blackheads right below my nose that add to the discoloration. Once it goes away, I will be able to live without makeup.

I've ready Twilight & New Moon. I'm working on eclispe right now.

You must be feeling horrible for you to compare yourself to that! That just about broke my heart when he left her.

I think you should stick with the 16 year old, but something seems to stand out about the 18 yr old when you talk about him. I think you are kind of prefering him.

Anyways, if he is a good guy and isn't going to aim to be "too intimate" then I guess developing something other than a friendship wouldn't be too bad.

The age gap is pretty large, however.

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Well, I'm just getting to know the 16 year old, but he's makes me feel great and he's a really good guy.

I've known the 18 year old longer, we've shared more, etc.

He's everyone I want in a guy, attractive, smart, loves to travel.

I don't mean to sound needy/desperate.

Just a girl with confused emotions.

No way, right? :whistle:

and again, I'm not having that intense of a depression as Bella. Hell, I'm not even depressed.

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Nothing's worse than not making up your mind and if you can't, friendship is best. Both are great guys it seems and if you pick one over the other, you might even still feel the same about the other and you'll still have problems. That's what I think.

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i think age is a state not a number. that being said, if you go with 18 year old you need to be willing to accept that there are possible legal complications, regardless of his charachter. is the age gap that different, maybe maybe not. it CAN mean the difference between someone who can drive, vote, be tried as an adult etc vs someone under greater paretnal control. or it may be meaningless.

as for long distance relationships, they are nothing to take lightly. contrary to popular belief, it isn't doomed to fail, but it requires a hell of a lot of effort, commitment, trust, and clearly laid out expectations of where things are. most, not all, but most folks still in their teens arent ready for this. if you are jsut getting to know this dude, reallllly think about it...

that being said, i wouldnt' trade the relatinoship i'm in (long distance) for any other with someone nearer becaseu fo who he is, not where we are. we also know it wont be permanent, i think indefinite LDRs are problematic.

you've got plenty of time ahead! enjoy life! right person will come along :D

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