Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
PureVanity

huh..*sigh* need some cheering up

Recommended Posts

well..? i dont even know where to begin. bikini season is coming. i can't model if i look like this, with this disgusting face. whats going to happen to my career? i was supposed to venture out to california this summer for auditions, but my skin has ruined everything. its ruining my life, ruining my acting and modeling career.. i have to get clear and FAST. im so sick and tired of waking up with the same ole face. i miss my beautiful porcelain skin i had when i was a little kid. it just, blew up in my face when i got to middle school. it was manageable, the camera lights hiding everything, but not anymore. its really getting to me. i feel like im not pretty enough for my boyfriend, and that i might loose him because he might not be satisfied with the way i look anymore. what can i do? its my body thats doing this to me, and not on purpose im sure. its just nature. thats just the way it is. im doing EVERYTHING i can right now to fight it, but i feel so.. helpless. today at nightschool this kid was like your not THAT pretty because he was flirting with me and some other guy was looking at me and im like why are you looking at me like that? thats when the other kid goes oh dont worry he wasnt looking your not THAT pretty.. i mean he said he was joking but it fucking still hurt my feelings.. how can i go from a model to just a piece of acne trash? people are cruel and evil. i used to be ontop of the world. i am really not trying to sound cocky. its just that everything seemed so right in my world. i was happy. and now that i got all this shit going on people are like, looking at me differently, like oh she doesnt look pretty anymore look at her face. cmon i still have the same face.. im so stressed out. i need someone to talk to for some encouragement and inspiration and ideas on how to end all the pain :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, for all that I know you're definately in the right place! One of the most horrible things about acne is that you can be doing everything right and STILL breakout - and always at the most inconvient time, too! I'm glad you're here - you're in good company! And keep venting, that's exactly what this forum was designed for!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
well..? i dont even know where to begin. bikini season is coming. i can't model if i look like this, with this disgusting face. whats going to happen to my career? i was supposed to venture out to california this summer for auditions, but my skin has ruined everything. its ruining my life, ruining my acting and modeling career.. i have to get clear and FAST. im so sick and tired of waking up with the same ole face. i miss my beautiful porcelain skin i had when i was a little kid. it just, blew up in my face when i got to middle school. it was manageable, the camera lights hiding everything, but not anymore. its really getting to me. i feel like im not pretty enough for my boyfriend, and that i might loose him because he might not be satisfied with the way i look anymore. what can i do? its my body thats doing this to me, and not on purpose im sure. its just nature. thats just the way it is. im doing EVERYTHING i can right now to fight it, but i feel so.. helpless. today at nightschool this kid was like your not THAT pretty because he was flirting with me and some other guy was looking at me and im like why are you looking at me like that? thats when the other kid goes oh dont worry he wasnt looking your not THAT pretty.. i mean he said he was joking but it fucking still hurt my feelings.. how can i go from a model to just a piece of acne trash? people are cruel and evil. i used to be ontop of the world. i am really not trying to sound cocky. its just that everything seemed so right in my world. i was happy. and now that i got all this shit going on people are like, looking at me differently, like oh she doesnt look pretty anymore look at her face. cmon i still have the same face.. im so stressed out. i need someone to talk to for some encouragement and inspiration and ideas on how to end all the pain :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thank you thank you :] i appreciate it more then anything. im not going to go up to people at school and be like YO! i have bad skin! wanna discuss it? ha.. id feel like an idiot.

yeah.. i think you just might be right. but i dont know. i was so happy with him. everything was just fine. he tells me ALL the time that he doesnt give a damn about my face and that im gorgeous and that he understands that im in the process of fixing it. i dont think he has a problem with it, but i just have this fear in the back of my mind that hes looking at other, clear faced, more beautiful girls then me. it makes me cringe when i think about it. im so insecure, i hate it. i just want my skin to clear so i can get that pep in my step again. you know?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thank you thank you :] i appreciate it more then anything. im not going to go up to people at school and be like YO! i have bad skin! wanna discuss it? ha.. id feel like an idiot.

yeah.. i think you just might be right. but i dont know. i was so happy with him. everything was just fine. he tells me ALL the time that he doesnt give a damn about my face and that im gorgeous and that he understands that im in the process of fixing it. i dont think he has a problem with it, but i just have this fear in the back of my mind that hes looking at other, clear faced, more beautiful girls then me. it makes me cringe when i think about it. im so insecure, i hate it. i just want my skin to clear so i can get that pep in my step again. you know?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

psh. he has shitty skin. and he doesnt even CARE. atleast im trying to do something with mine. i really dont think he cares that much. we've been together for a year and want to get married in the future but i dont know lately its been shaky and im definately not happy about it. but owell. i just want to find a skin solution as of right now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am right there sinking in the same boat you are(and like many others.). I look around at little kids, teenagers, and adults wondering "How do they do it?" How do they have such clear, good, beautiful skin? When i am sitting here with a disgusting curse, marked all over my face. People tell me im beautiful, even with the acne, but i never believe them because i do not feel beautiful with it. Today my best friends little sister kissed me on the cheek today. I wondered how she ever got the guts to do it, and how gross she might of felt after doing it. In a way i was humiliated and wanted to go cry and pour out my feelings just because of a kiss on the cheek.

I understand your pain, and suffering, and Elsewhere is right. You are here in good hands. We will find a cure for this stupid disease. I know we will. Just keep fighting PureVanity. We may have lost the battle, but i know we will never lose the war.

(:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

YES. thats how i feel too! i look at these beautiful faces and think wow.. that was once me too. why can i just go back to that? its so painful to look at. its like, what are their bodies doing that mine isnt? i wish there was somekind of special body scan you could do to be able to target why your body is creating acne. man that would be perfect. i dont even know what im going to do with myself this summer.. probably hide like a hermit. its gonna suck goddammit. im still looking for solutions, and im not giving up. thank you so much for the inspiration sarahkate :]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Judging by your picture I would venture to say that you don't have much to worry about. Sure you might have some acne now, but you're quite attractive, and I don't believe you'd need to fret. If your boyfriend isn't supportive, I would suggest dropping him. Stress can aggrivate acne, and obviously he's a source of stress. Otherwise see what happens, and if there's no progress, try seeing a dermatologist; it certainly couldn't hurt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, Your welcome, i am always glad to help(:

My goodness, Acne is a pain in the ass. This summer i get to go to Hawaii for vacation. Sounds fun, exotic, exciting i know. But i have been dreaming of the vacation for 10 years. Finally when i can go, i have something that looks like hell exploded on my face (maybe thats over-exaggerating a little tiny bit (:<<) and i dont want to go. I have 2 months to get this thing cleared up, and that is all. Sooo i definatley know your suffering there, especially now with spring and all the nice weather, ive been going outside with my friends. Well i get embarrased because out there you can see every little bump and flaw on my skin. It is soo humiliating. So sun exposure is a definate BLEHHH.

I dont want a boyfriend, but i do. But you know i get chills thinking of when they touch my face and kind of chringe, or look at me and think "Damn she would be cuter without all that shit on her face." Like, ive backed myself into a wall over those things. So you are very fortunate to have a boyfriend who does not care of your acne. And i wouldnt either, you are goregous and i dont know how any guy could NOT wanna jump all over you. Haha =D

And i definatley relate with the acting career. It is something i have been dreaming for since forever. I am in love with acting, but i am affraid i will never be able to do that because of my skin. And people will interview me or something and be like "Naww.. her skin is flawed." You know? Aggh.

I hate this deeply.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your former self seems to be everything I don't like about people. If your looks (which I'm sure are not nearly as bad as you're making them out to be) are all you have going for you, then you should try to work on improving non-skin related aspects of yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ouch steve. im not sure if i should be offended or inspired! you got me wrong completely. i am not a shallow human being. im so different from the other girls at my school. they dont give a shit about anything but tanning and nails and sex and all that other junk. they have no mind. they're not open to different aspects of life, like i am. i enjoy writing, journaling (i LOVE blogging) im very passionate about the environment and would like to join the peace corps someday. this isnt just always about my skin. no its not bad but its bad to me, and its a problem. and it must be fixed. severe skin or slightly moderate, acne is a curse and something that needs to be handled very cautiously. so im afraid you are judging me alittle too quickly there

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, sorry, it's just hard to feel bad for someone who went from being drop-dead gorgeous to being slightly less gorgeous.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

your so nice :] but you see what you said right there? drop dead gorgeous to slightly less gorgeous. that hurts. what if people are saying that behind my back right now? im so sensitive, i wouldnt be able to handle it. i dont want to be thought of as less then what i really am. i want to look my best and reach my full potential. im just looking for encouragement to push past all of my anxieties about the outside world judging me as i am now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sarahkate: ive been looking at your picture and have noticed that you have a really pretty face. i was ALWAYS afraid to go in the pure sunlight. terrified, as a matter of fact. i had this phobia that people were staring at my face. no psyciatrist or doctor could convince me that my skin isnt that bad. its just the way i am. it just has to be cleared and thats it. then there wouldnt be all of this anxiety and pressure to be perfect inside of me. how are you doing with your acne treatments? are they working for you? i truly hope you find something that works for you before your trip. you have TWO MONTHS! thats alot of time! have you tried accutane? i went on it and got porcelain clear in a matter of one month. but i had to stop because it gave me mental problems..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 25 years right now, but when I was 15-21, I would always get offers in the mail for modeling auditions as well as phone calls. I wasn't even interested in that, and it would freak me out how they knew who I was. But I never really realized what I had. Then when I turned 17 all hell broke lose, and here I am in this fight! :surprised: I know exactly what you mean about the comments....have some examples of that too, the one that I remember now was when a guy that supposedly liked me said "What happened to your skin???? You used to be so pretty!!" I was 17 at the time, and it brought me to the floor! But you know what? Where is he now? The people that matter will always be by your side. Remember that "the only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs". Where is he now?? ha ha

Its been 8 years for me...I know what you mean when you say you're not superficial....but in a sense, you are. That doesn't mean its bad, it just means you have to look for other aspects of yourself that validate who you are. Your skin does not define who you are. Trust me, I'm still in this challenge myself and I have to remind myself all the time. Like two days ago I was in a sex trafficking conference, talking to different people and there was more I wanted to say and ask but I knew that my acne was getting in the way. Yet, I realize that I am an outstanding student and acne can't stop that. I have a great boyfriend that I've been with for 6 years, we want to get married as soon as I finish my Masters this year and before I apply for my PhD.

Keep your chin up!! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why thank youu, not nearly as pretty as yours(:

What i am doing? Well oraly i have been on the anti-biotic Minocycline(2 a day, morning and night. It kills all the bacteria in the face and things like that.) When i get home from school which is mid-day i take Acidophilus(which is good bacteria and will help kill the bad bacteria that causes acne symptoms) Also when i get home i wash my face with soap, then use the Dove SkinVitalizer, after that i put a lotion from an old 3 Step regimen i used to use, and then slap on some Erythromycin-Benzoyl Peroxide Topical Gel on the problemed areas. Looking back at pictures in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade i wasnt all to bad with my skin. Pretty clear with 3-5 pimples that were small and maintainable. Now im in 9th grade, over the winter my face got incredibly bad and utterly blehh. But now, that ive been drinking 8 cups of water a day, and not drinking pops, and eating better things for my body its beginning to heal. Plus i dont have any HUGE red ones or anything that is completely unbearable. But i do have bumps all over my face underneath my skin which is a drag to add.

But yeah, that is about it.

Here in a week or so when i start my period i get to start on birth control(FINALLY!) and i am hoping that will clear me before Hawaii. After a month on that, and after the trip, i am going on Accutane if its still this bad. Hopefully not though.

And if accutane doesnt work, then my last choice is laser. And if none of those works, ill just have to see if i can grow this crap out :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

sarahkate i'm really starting to love you over here lol. yes! i really do hope that birth control helps you before hawaii. be cautious though; i heard so many stories about girls that break out and get worse on the pill. im praying that this wont apply to you though. aww but i remember when i was a freshman! that was the beginning to all my skin issues. i'm so glad i'm graduating this year. :] but seriously girl, just hang in there, i know you dont feel pretty right now. im right here feeling the same thing as you, but remain focused on your goal. stick with that regimen, and soon you will see, you will be clear and beautiful <3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Would it help to say that what is on the inside is what matters? This may have absolutely nothing to do with standing infront of a camera but feeling sorry for yourself because of a few blemishes is not the way to go about things. People are beautiful so as long as they are that way internally. People should not care about yer external looks and if they do, then they are not worth your time. If you are worried about not clearing up quickly enough for yer modelling career then perhaps try accutane?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

what is it with everyone mentioning how i feel sorry for myself? i'm upset about it, but i dont mope. yeah maybe i do privately at home, but what the heck? doesnt everybody? thanatos, i totally understand what your saying.. i know that beauty occurs on the inside and is the more important aspect of a person, but in my case, im forced to look top condition at all times. its a difficult career to be in. being in this career makes you feel like you'll die and loose everything if you get one pimple on your face. it's hurtful to us girls that model. it's like we can't be human and posess flaws. i've allready done two rounds of accutane, the first time successful. but it came back in about year. i was really jittery and pissed off at everyone the first time i was on it. screaming and yelling at everyone and everything. so i was hesitant about starting my second round, but i felt like i had no choice. i was severly anxious and depressed after my second week, it all ending in me being hospitalized for a few days because i was shaking and hallucinating. it was a terrible experience. im trying to look for something else. like supplements, or something.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't take it personally, hon. Some of us around here are just cranky ole' type and some of us are just really trying to be well-intentioned - sometimes in the same post in the same person! I think it's more or less that it's good to take a positive attitude towards your problems, but don't feel like you can't talk about it here - that's EXACTLY what this forum was designed for. It's okay to be hurt and scared and angry in here. Totally ok!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What's black,white and red? A penguin with sunburn....

That joke is so awful it has to cheer you up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
What's black,white and red? A penguin with sunburn....

That joke is so awful it has to cheer you up.

A penguin with a bullet hole is funnier.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

haha thanks for trying guys :] atleast there is people out there that i can actually talk to about this. i think i might start a blog or something, to keep track of stuff that im doing. cant think of anything else to do :/

as for my whole boyfriend issue, things are seeming to even out. he's acting like his normal self. he called me up tonight to check on me and he called me princess! he hasnt done that in so long. i think things are going to get better. :]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×