Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
swimming

Acne finished my relationship, How can i feel good inside and out?

Recommended Posts

okay.....

i had been going so well for a bit on a prescription from the doctor...

but recently its all gone downhill.

I want to know, what can i do to relax...

to feel at peace and forget what i look like.

Forget all the imperfections of life and my Face.

I'm 16, and as a guy i will admit that having a bath with candles and some chill out music to listen to does it for me.

But i want more.

I hate my looks.

I ended it with my girlfriend because of it.

i felt like a burden to her, and i had to....

So what works for you? That i can do at home please.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No shame in a bath and chillout music buddy though you could ditch the candles lol.

I'm by no means the person to tell you how to feel good both inside and out, it is very difficult and I struggle with it even now at 20 years old. All I can advise is to do things for yourself, you wanna take a bath an all that jazz do it - but this is only minor - do something else you want to do but perhaps more extrovertly? I'm not saying this very well...Anyway do the things you want to do, the real courage is doing it even with a face full of acne.

I'm sure if you got back in touch with your ex and told her everything about your insecurities - explained your problems she would fully understand. She would probably tell you about her insecurities too and you would grow as a couple for it. I really think you should get back in touch - you will only regret that you let acne play such a massive part in that relationship later in your life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
No shame in a bath and chillout music buddy though you could ditch the candles lol.

I'm by no means the person to tell you how to feel good both inside and out, it is very difficult and I struggle with it even now at 20 years old. All I can advise is to do things for yourself, you wanna take a bath an all that jazz do it - but this is only minor - do something else you want to do but perhaps more extrovertly? I'm not saying this very well...Anyway do the things you want to do, the real courage is doing it even with a face full of acne.

I'm sure if you got back in touch with your ex and told her everything about your insecurities - explained your problems she would fully understand. She would probably tell you about her insecurities too and you would grow as a couple for it. I really think you should get back in touch - you will only regret that you let acne play such a massive part in that relationship later in your life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Keep trying to remain friends if you cant handle the depression, it cant be a heathly relationship if she brings you down. At the same time, with her troubled past I would desperatley try to keep her spirits up - it could be that your upbeat style kept her brighter than you know.

Your mates feelings shouldnt even enter into it, dont feel the need to prove any point to them - if you care for this girl you should make her laugh again and fully explain why you needed to break up if you have not already, she can only respond positively, I'm sure the hate msg wasn't a permanent disposition change.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She apologised for the hate message a day later.

But i knew she ment it.

My mates annoy me because they judge her on how she looks (she has no acne and she is really perfectly slim) and when they do that it hurts.....

because it makes you realise that they DO judge people on how they look.

When i asked her out, one of the primary reasons was because i wanted to cheer her up and help her through her depression because she's a great person when happy........

i suppose telling you this doesn't make a difference.

i know the bottom line.

If i still like her, i should ask her out again. I shouldn't let acne bother a perfectly fine relationship.

If i don't... move on but don't throw her out of my life. She needs her friends.

Right?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Spot on in my opinion. (See what I did there? Spot on...sorry)

You sound a decent fella, if you can make somebody happy - do so! I used to know a girl I worked with and I'm kind of a glum kind of person most of the time (especially at work) and she seriously lightened up my life, it made so much of a difference to me that she was there - she radiated beauty as well so that helped. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol Ha.

Great Pun.

Made me chuckle.

Hehe i have two best friends which are arguably the best looking girls in my year....

Does that make sense?

The ugly guy with the beautiful best friends...

I never understood.

BRB i am going to look at the mirror and laugh at my pimples so to destroy their self esteem.

Theyre obsessed with their dating and they love to multiply.

So i guess if i laugh at them, and destroy THEIR self esteem.

Maybe i can beat them.

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Friends with the girl sounds fine, but a relationship doesn't UNLESS she's trying to cope with her depression, isn't allowing it to take over her life, and is actively trying to do something about her illness. Otherwise, she's not taking enough care of herself and you cannot do that for someone else; you can only do it for yourself. THAT alone is enough responsibility for anyone.

A 'caretaker' relationship where one of the pair tries to help or fix the other pair usually just slides into codependence and resentment and so forth.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't mean that i only went out with her to be a personal councillor/caretaker.

I did love her.

I did like her.

I liked who she was.

And i liked it how she thought i was good looking.

Hope that cleared things up :) <<< Better Pun

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On the one hand, if she's depressive, then she should appreciate you wanting to stick by her...but on the other hand, she's perfectly capable of dragging you down with her, and not necessarily deliberately.

I can say from previous experience that a relationship between two people with depression has little chance of working. We ended up almost "competing" with each other to try and be more depressed. It starts to feel threatening, especially if you're used to being the "unstable" one, and suddenly someone else takes the limelight. And often you're too in need of support to give any to the other person, and you both end up drowning.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On the one hand, if she's depressive, then she should appreciate you wanting to stick by her...but on the other hand, she's perfectly capable of dragging you down with her, and not necessarily deliberately.

I can say from previous experience that a relationship between two people with depression has little chance of working. We ended up almost "competing" with each other to try and be more depressed. It starts to feel threatening, especially if you're used to being the "unstable" one, and suddenly someone else takes the limelight. And often you're too in need of support to give any to the other person, and you both end up drowning.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×