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Duzzlight

Confidence, and my others thoughts on my journey of disliking the way I looked.

Well, let me start off by saying this: I have sever acne. Cysts and nodules (cysts like one or two on the side of my face, so it's not as bad as it could be, I assume).

Now, for the longest time, I just couldn't look at myself straight in the mirror. I would look be like "how could you be like this? You're so ugly! How can you even go back outside?" So many thoughts about myself would come up. I would hide myself with my hair (guy, though I have long hair, I just love the look), so that some of them couldn't be seen. I mean, I was damn miserable.

But then, I realized. Why should I stop my life from being what I want it to be, stop myself from being confident and dong what I want to do, just because I have pimples? I mean, yeah, clearer skin is nice to have. But it is in no way something that should stop life at all.

During the summer of 07, I had many of revelations. Some things good, some bad, either way, a lot led to me believing in how to live life as I do now. Let me post something I had written to myself: (A little part of a rather long letter to myself for when I cahnged in the future)

"Also, don’t let anything worry you too much. Acne, nah. Get rid of it as you can, try different things, but don’t let it run all over your life. It’s not worth it. Apply this to everything and everything, and write here about it all the time."

I know it just seems like I'm repeating myself, and I know it seems like I mean it to be an overnight thing. It's not. Just like the physical affects of acne, the mental affects of acne last for a while. Thing with the mental affects though, is you don't have to rely on outside sources to do the job for you. You can do it now. Or more, start now.

back to my paragraph. Now, when I say that, I mean to apply to myself in so many aspects. Think, if you had a whole bunch of "ugly" clothes, would you let it ruin your life, and the way you know you can be? Do people's opinions matter so much as to allow it to bring you down? Stares are just that, stares. I know it hurts to see someone look "Oh my god", but really, this is your life. Yours. You live once, and why should you let a day go by where you just don't want to go outside and enjoy it because of what others think and see?

The truth is the truth, no matter what. yes, ignorance is bliss, and hiding your face from others allows for that "bliss". But honestly, sometimes you can't let people sit in their "comfort zone" forever. You are a person to. You are that person that should enjoy their lives as much as they are.

The other funny thing though is, they have a lot of things they think are bad about themselves just like you do.

Alright, now I"m just kind of rambling. I hope you all see this as some sort of people.

tl;dr Bottom line is, don't let one small materialistic idea of perfect skin ruin your enjoyment of life.

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You were kind-of rambling but it's okay because I tend to ramble as well.

I agree, and am trying to change my life in spite of my acne and other circumstances.

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