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frej2828

The weird ways I have that other people don't understand

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Hey guys, this is my first post on here. I'm an 18 year old guy from London and a Singer/Songwriter, so the whole acne thing has been especially hard when it constantly feels like you're getting judged.

Ok...so I've been battling with mild-moderate acne for a year now, and my friends and family have come to see a change in my behaviour etc. I believe acne can really hinder our relationships with people close to us, simply because we are too scared to open up about our main insecurity.

Here are some of the weird things I do

1) If I go to sit next to a friend, I get pissed off if they sit on the right side of me (because my right cheek looks worse than my left) so I always make some stupid excuse and move to the other side of them.

2) When friends come over, I always have the lights in my room really dim and I when I'm in the kitchen on my own the lights are always really low and then my mum or someone will come in and turn them right up without knowing and that really annoys me.

3) When I'm on the train, I will sit at the very end when I can with the worse side of my face not showing.

4) If I've been out with friends and they ask me to go and stay at their house I will never go because I dont have my skin care and I get scared their pillows aren't clean

5) I don't even tell half my friends I'm on medication cos I don't like to draw attention to my skin, so when I go and take my antibiotics, I have to run to the bathroom or something...

6) I try and get out of natural light with other people as fast as I can

7) If a close friend or family member used to mention my skin, or make some ignorant comment about some spot cream (that we all know doesn't work because we've tried them all) I get really irratable and snappy and they can never understand why.

any of these sound familiar?

hope you enjoyed my first post!

xxx

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Hey guys, this is my first post on here. I'm an 18 year old guy from London and a Singer/Songwriter, so the whole acne thing has been especially hard when it constantly feels like you're getting judged.

Ok...so I've been battling with mild-moderate acne for a year now, and my friends and family have come to see a change in my behaviour etc. I believe acne can really hinder our relationships with people close to us, simply because we are too scared to open up about our main insecurity.

Here are some of the weird things I do

1) If I go to sit next to a friend, I get pissed off if they sit on the right side of me (because my right cheek looks worse than my left) so I always make some stupid excuse and move to the other side of them.

2) When friends come over, I always have the lights in my room really dim and I when I'm in the kitchen on my own the lights are always really low and then my mum or someone will come in and turn them right up without knowing and that really annoys me.

3) When I'm on the train, I will sit at the very end when I can with the worse side of my face not showing.

4) If I've been out with friends and they ask me to go and stay at their house I will never go because I dont have my skin care and I get scared their pillows aren't clean

5) I don't even tell half my friends I'm on medication cos I don't like to draw attention to my skin, so when I go and take my antibiotics, I have to run to the bathroom or something...

6) I try and get out of natural light with other people as fast as I can

7) If a close friend or family member used to mention my skin, or make some ignorant comment about some spot cream (that we all know doesn't work because we've tried them all) I get really irratable and snappy and they can never understand why.

any of these sound familiar?

hope you enjoyed my first post!

xxx

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Yeah you're very right adell :D I think the frustrating thing is that we know that if they had been through it themselves, they would know why I get upset, but when my brother was going on about how I should go on accutane and I got defensive and told him about the risks he told me I had a "serious attitude problem" which kinda hurt...made me cry actually haha

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Ive had people say, 'whats that on your face'? lol... and cry on the inside. When i had active acne.

have been known to scream back, "I OWN A FU#KING MIRROR YOU KNOW, AND 'YES' IVE SEEN MY BIG ZIT"...wanna name it for me?

Im not a bad tempered person, but i cant stand ignorance, and stupidity.

Some people just have no idea, and until they go thru what we have, they cant know how it feels.

My mothers a classic, she whines when she gets 1 spot on her perfect skin, but then tells me, its time to give up, and live with my scarring, as no-one notices(ive been on TV because of it)....Insert my crazed laugh/cry, and a screaming match, about how she wouldnt understand...etc. :wall:

Then she offers to buy me fake boobs! maybe it will take attention away from my scarred face?

Mums a realist, she has done reaserch, and has given up on a cure, i think shes upset, watching me get my hopes up time after time.

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Aww sweets...yeah the people that complain about one spot are the worst lol.

You know what? I don't know much about scarring, because I've just got red marks, but in all honesty I find it very hard to notice pitted skin. How bothered are you these days about your scarring?

I have loads of red marks I'm just gonna wait for mine to fade, but i've always got more coming cos of existing breakouts...

x

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Im really bothered. REALLY REALLY.

I HATE my scars. My bf says he can hardly notice them, lucky him.:)(he doesnt wear glasses)

Im getting dermarolling treatment spaced out over a year, hoping it improves my scars.

Thanks for your kind words :cool:

I recently posted a picture in the scar gallery. eerrg.It may not be up yet. It will by tomorrow.

Cheers.

Mandy

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Well only the if staying over someones house and not having my creams etc thing. But i do some weird thing like always looking in mirrors where ever i go eg. if am in the supermarket and these a mirror near me i will stop and look in it for mins and in colege i always go to the bog just to stop and look in the morror.

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haha I do that one too! anything that looks remotely like a mirror...mind you i'm lucky now cos my new ipod is a mirror at the back so i can ALWAYS obsess about my skin haha

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1) If I go to sit next to a friend, I get pissed off if they sit on the right side of me (because my right cheek looks worse than my left) so I always make some stupid excuse and move to the other side of them.

2) When friends come over, I always have the lights in my room really dim and I when I'm in the kitchen on my own the lights are always really low and then my mum or someone will come in and turn them right up without knowing and that really annoys me.

3) When I'm on the train, I will sit at the very end when I can with the worse side of my face not showing.

4) If I've been out with friends and they ask me to go and stay at their house I will never go because I dont have my skin care and I get scared their pillows aren't clean

5) I don't even tell half my friends I'm on medication cos I don't like to draw attention to my skin, so when I go and take my antibiotics, I have to run to the bathroom or something...

6) I try and get out of natural light with other people as fast as I can

7) If a close friend or family member used to mention my skin, or make some ignorant comment about some spot cream (that we all know doesn't work because we've tried them all) I get really irratable and snappy and they can never understand why.

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The left side of my face has moderate scarring and right has mild scarring, so i understand what you mean by trying to hide the worst side of your face. I do it all the time too! Drives me crazy! I have no idea do people know that i do this.

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Hey guys, this is my first post on here. I'm an 18 year old guy from London and a Singer/Songwriter, so the whole acne thing has been especially hard when it constantly feels like you're getting judged.

Ok...so I've been battling with mild-moderate acne for a year now, and my friends and family have come to see a change in my behaviour etc. I believe acne can really hinder our relationships with people close to us, simply because we are too scared to open up about our main insecurity.

Here are some of the weird things I do

1) If I go to sit next to a friend, I get pissed off if they sit on the right side of me (because my right cheek looks worse than my left) so I always make some stupid excuse and move to the other side of them.

2) When friends come over, I always have the lights in my room really dim and I when I'm in the kitchen on my own the lights are always really low and then my mum or someone will come in and turn them right up without knowing and that really annoys me.

3) When I'm on the train, I will sit at the very end when I can with the worse side of my face not showing.

4) If I've been out with friends and they ask me to go and stay at their house I will never go because I dont have my skin care and I get scared their pillows aren't clean

5) I don't even tell half my friends I'm on medication cos I don't like to draw attention to my skin, so when I go and take my antibiotics, I have to run to the bathroom or something...

6) I try and get out of natural light with other people as fast as I can

7) If a close friend or family member used to mention my skin, or make some ignorant comment about some spot cream (that we all know doesn't work because we've tried them all) I get really irratable and snappy and they can never understand why.

any of these sound familiar?

hope you enjoyed my first post!

xxx

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i can TOTALLY agree with what you mentioned about dimming the lights...its even harder that friends dont understand...they'd be at my house all chilling and we're about to put on makeup to go out and i'd have the lights real low..they'd all gang up together and say whats the matter with me..turn on the lights i can barely see anything! its SO FUNNY i thought i was the only one going through this while walking through my house i make sure the lights are comfortably "dim". dont you think this has a lot to do with how we perceive ourselves. i mean we hear it a lot where ppl think its because we're trippin off of OTHER people judging our skin..but truth is i think i dont care wut other people think i care more about MYSELF. dats why i cant even stand being in my room on a bright sunny day just KNOWIN how red my acne is and how visibly it must be showing....therefor even when im in the room myself i find it more comfortable to have the settings to dim. natural light is such the enemy..i immediately feel so tense irritatble and wanna get out of the situation asap...i cant stand making eye contact let alone stand still with someone talkin to me and expecting me to feel NORMAL...it sucks...acne CAN really make a person feel singled out, lonley, depressed and even not normal cause tahts sure as heck how i feel. any of u guys notice how because you have acne that u notice ppl in magazines, at skoo, on the internet ETC when they have clear skin? i never noticed SKIN before i had acne..i guess u dont treasure what you have until its gone. tired of feeling like im not normal and whens it gonna be my turn to experience all that life has to "give"

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Plus, during the lectures I sit at the corner. Also, while walking I use the other side of the pavement. Sometimes its really funny. for eg. If I try and present my better side (by some awkward maneuvering) to some girl/s who happens to pass by, sometimes she/they mistakenly assume that I am trying to make a pass on them while all I am trying to do is to look presentable. :redface:
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I always hate when people say "What's Wrong with your Face?"

or

"Why don't try Proactiv or something?"

Ugh, people just don't f'ng get it.

I also do the lw light thing. I purposely pick restaurants with low lighting when I go out to dinner. It's probably why I'm a "night" person rather than a morning person.

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Wow I do almost all those things...

The worst for me is sitting to close to people or bright lights.

On busses or in stores I tend to stay behind people rather then next to them. I also don't go out until the sun goes down.

I only venture out if I have to buy something or study.

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I used to get comments about my skin a lot when my skin was much worse. Made me really mad. As if I don't know what I have on my face that I need them to tell me. But I was really grateful that one nurse said that I should go see a derm about my acne. That was when my Mum realised that my skin was in a terrible condition and she did bring me to the derm. That helped a lot but didn't make me clear.

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i used to always sit on the train with my right side to the window as that is where most of my scars are located, :lol:

i felt like a total freak if i couldnt get my window seat.

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i used to always sit on the train with my right side to the window as that is where most of my scars are located, :lol:

i felt like a total freak if i couldnt get my window seat.

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Greetings All,

I can certainly relate to the majority of the items you listed in your post. I remember being very self conscious and keenly aware of every pimple or blemish. It soon became apparent that I was more focused on my face than anyone else was. This had a devastating affect on my social life and caused me to become somewhat of an introvert. As time passed I began to realize that people were accepting me for who I was on the inside. I soon realized that I was creating my own isolation and loneliness by focusing on all my imperfections. Once I began focusing on all the positive things in my life I developed the courage to venture out and face the world.

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It's amazing knowing that all you guys have the same habits as me. Some of the new ones you mentioned are like me aswel...how funny haha. It would be so funny for a whole load of acne sufferers to get together and see how similiar all of our mannerisms were. I guess the reason people with acne get more insecure than anyone else is because its a huge part of our identity, and it makes us feel there is something wrong with us, but for god sake it's the most common skin condition in the whole world, anybody that is ignorant enough to have a problem with it is a million times worse off than us. In many ways I'm glad to have gone through this.

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