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i've wanted to do a log since day 1 but i didn't know how to work this thing....i just want to start a log so i can have a place to track my progress and have a community i can relate to :angel: i've been feeling really down because of my worsening condition and i use this board to make me feel more assurred to know i am not alone....

so now i am on day 5.

some background info on me:

-5'3, 50kg.

-accutane 10mg twice a day. (so 20mg a day)

(skip this part if you don't want to be bored ;) )

-used to have rosacea/eczema, started when i was 16. however after being put on elidel, it was under control for 2 years. acne was not even a problem i had to worry about back then 'cause i had clear skin with an infrequent pimple from time to time.

-started university, skin got worse when winter came. major redness/peeling. then i got some acne forming on my chin and my "inside" cheeks (area around my nose..i dont' know what its called sorry:]) and a little on my forehead. the ones on my cheeks are just small red bumps and the ones on my chin used to be bigger pustules (usually around 1-3 at a time)

-summertime my skin was very clear. no active pimples, no marks on forehead/cheeks, but red marks on chin that are easily covered with a concealor.

-school started again, had another redness/peeling flare up, doctor put me on mino and clindamycin

-no acne on cheeks/forehead however there are around 2-4 on the chin at a time. as i reached my 4th month on mino, i stopped because i was finished with my prescription and thats when things started to go downhill.

-many red bumps on cheeks/chin/forehead, doctor puts me on accutane

day5

there are more and more whiteheads forming on my chin/cheeks. i have NEVER had this many whiteheads, and i only usually get whiteheads when i'm having a reaction to something. i have around 30 tiny whiteheads on my chin and around 10 on each side of my cheeks. the ones on my chin are itchy and stings after i wash/moisturize them. however this feeling tends to subside after a while. the red bumps on my chin/cheeks/forehead are still there and some are now filled with pus (yes i know, eww). my face burns sometimes too, perhaps because i have rosacea?? anyone else have a burning feeling on their skin after washing/moisturizing? side effects so far are dry lips (putting on neutrogena lipbalm and everyday minerals jojoba oil lip scrub 2 times a day helps), dry eyes in the morning, inside my of nose i feel is drying up, and i definitely feel the skin on my face slowly drying up. i use cetaphil normal-dry skin moisturizer (for sensitive skin). is this a good choice? i'm scared this is the product that is casuing me all these whiteheads. i also use everyday minerals for my makeup if i go to school/work. so my question is, can all these whiteheads be the start of my IB or do you think its the products i'm using thats causing them??

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day 6

more and more whiteheads are coming out on my chin/cheeks. some old ones on my chin went away but many new ones took its place. also i'm starting to have a few blackheads scattered on my cheeks!! :ninja: this has NEVER happened before! anyone experience this too?? could this be the IB already? other then this, my zits i had before a starting to flatten, so after foundation and all it looks okay, just really ruddy.

side effects so far: very dry lips, a little "swollen" on my bottom lip, drier skin than before (but not flaking yet, it just feels really tight), flushing especially after washing/moisturizing.

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day 7

last night after showering my face was bright red and it hurt sooo much! it wasn't really flaky skin but its dry and tight and burning and all my stupid whiteheads on my chin made things even worse. any slight touch to my skin would make me want to cry. heck, it even hurt when i am doing nothing to it. :wall:

however, when i woke up this morning the tight and burning sensations were gone :D there were still a slight redness, but nothing compared to what i had last night. and most if not all of my whiteheads have dried up (but the bumps are still there...they will fall off evenutally though). i was really happy this morning :), and after makeup you can barely tell except if you're really close then you can see flakey skin.

got home washed my makeup off and have around 3 whiteheads on my chin. oh well, its still much better than yesterday! lips are hurting though. and i drink around 10-12 glasses of water a day. so no headaches whatsoever ;)

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day 8

i washed my face with water only this morning because i didn't want it to flake so much. afterwards i put on some neutrogena moisturizer spf30 and some cetaphil. still major peeling/flaking on my chin. and the tiny pimple developed on the left side of my chin and another small one developed under. nothing to fret about yet. all i have left on my face now are red marks from my zits before and the 2 small pimples on my chin. and tons of flaking on my forehead/cheeks/chin.

i'm thinking of adding emu oil into my cetaphil moisturzier at night. anyone use emu oil as part of their regimen as well? and how are the results?

i might actually post some pics on here later on cause i know its not interesting unless there are pictures to show the progress....but i'm still too embarassed to take pics of myself and post them here. :ninja: i will overcome that soon i guess lol.

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day 10

well the "clear" skin didn't last. i got 2 biggie on my chin last night. and now one have dried up but 4 new ones sprung up. and they are so sore and painful, it even hurts without touching them! i haven't had these big ones for awhile now.

also the bumps on my cheeks have flattened out somehow but there are still some left and some new tiny tiny ones. i wonder if they are clogged pores? i use everyday minerals and i buff it in....i know it is not pore-clogging but i've reading somewhere that buffing clogs pores?? but anyway i can't leave my house without makeup so i'll just keep using it.

my whole face was crazily falling off with dead skin cells yesterday. so i put on a load of cetaphil and some emu oil last night and this morning and i don't have flakes anymore but i look a little oily before makeup.

i hope this is the IB (again :doh: ) and it will go away soon. i hate these big sore ones! but hey i know i'm making progress because my cheeks doesn't look as much like rocky road now :dance:

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thanks! :D you're the only one replying me :cry: hahaa...anyways

day 12

my face a little dry again this morning. makeup was hard to do. and my chin continues to host around 6-7 pimples. had my makeup on today for the whole day...at the end of the day...i saw one formed on my left cheek (oh great) and one thats brewing under my right nostril (NOOOOOOO.) and there seems to be more and more clogged pores on my cheeks too. i am now really worried if it is my makeup or if this is all part of the process. someone PLEASE HELP??? just as i thought things were getting better....it all goes down the drain again... :mad:

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>.< don't feel discouraged!!! Just imagine everyones results after accutane =) We'll all have the same clear skin that we've once had and never do we have to worry about it again ^^ This is just a stepping stone to the course. I'm sure everything will be okay soon, so hang in thereeee!! :D

Also i'm on 40 mg a day xD

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i'm using everyday minerals right now. i really like it...i REALLY REALLY wish it isn't casuing me these clogged pores. it shouldn't anyways, isn't it?
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thanks his pumpkin! yeah, i think i'll stick with MMU for now.....however i've heard dermablend provides excellent coverage, wondering if it clogs pores and stuff though?? i mightttt want to try that if its really the case.

day 14

same old. lots of marks and bumps on my chin. this stubborn pustle keeps coming back in the excat same spot. its the 3rd time it came back already. don't know how long these suckers will stay for and i have no idea why they keep coming back. before (when i started accutane for around a week) my pimples come and go in a very short period of time...now they seem to come fast and just hang around, even if the pus (sorry, gross i know) are gone already. my cheeks feel like sandpaper again :(. i see many tiny tiny tiny clogged pores (well you can only see them if u look REALLY up close...) on my cheeks and still a few red marks and just red bumps again. i'm really stressed out lately from all my never-ending midterms and assignments, and i slept later than i usually would for the past week, so MAYBE it contributed to my breakout?? or maybe its only the IB, i dont know.

water and lipbalm are my best friends. i would freak out if i went out without either one of them. (my lips are not really peeling, but they are so red and tight and burn a little if i don't use lipbalm. is this the case with everyone else as well? or is somethign wrong with me...?) oh and i would neverrrrr leave my house without makeup. :S. it makes me feel a tad bit more confident when i go out so i don't need to look at the ground all the time. going to an appointment this thursday, hopefully things will go well and i can just keep what i'm doing so far!

yay time to sleep. good night world :angel:

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day 15

today i just put on a tiny bit of mineral concealor and off to my midterm i go. i was so pissed because i didn't have enough time to finish it. my prof is insane. :snooty: well, back to my face. i don't know why but i am getting more and more tiny red bumps on my cheeks again. i had them before and it took a while for them to flatten. it looks so ugly cause even if i have my makeup on you can still see the bumps. and my forehead looks the worst it has ever been (its not THAT bad, but bad enough that i am seeing :S with it, thankfully i have some bangs to cover it up lol. i know i know, its not good it cover it with hair, but it reminds me of myself when i was 13, when i break out on my forehead :lol: )

ugh. and my chin. theres one very stubburn pustule that has died and came back to life for 3 times. its in the MIDDLE of my chin. and today when i washed my face the top part where it has dried up fell off again and once again i see the red fleshy thing underneath... :sick: hopefully this time it wil be gone for good. :pray:

HOWEVER, something big is brewing right on top of it. it is big and red and really painful. and after dinner or so i looked in the mirror again and i got like 5 new zits/whiteheads on my chin. and now it hurts even more than before. so now my complexion looks like crap once again. i can't wait for this IB to go. i know its just pushing everything out of my system, and my chin is where i breakout the most. (closely followed by my cheeks and forehead)

and i forgot to mention, my nose looks like a strawberry x100. when will my blackheads fall off my face like the others?

despite all this crap, i still tell myself i will have clear skin in the end! this is all the process....and having a support network like this has helped me cope much better :cool:

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and i forgot to mention, my nose looks like a strawberry x100. when will my blackheads fall off my face like the others?

i think right after i finished my 1st month, most of my blackheads were really gone. i only have a few on the lower sides of my nose. but i'm telling you, there were everywhere when i was in my 2nd week!! give it 2-3 more weeks, most of them should come up by then.

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day 17

this morning my skin actually didn't look that bad. my cheek was rather smooth again (but red marks all over) and my chin's pimples have all died down. they are still bumpy but its way better than stuff that hurts. anyways went to the doctors and nothing changed, keep going to go on with 20mg a day and he gave me some clindoxyl for spot treatment.

HOWEVER, when i got off work tonight i saw 3 new red kinda painful spots startning to rise up on my chin. awesome! just in time for the weekends...

and uhh i don't know why, maybe its my clindoxly but my face is a little stingy after i wash my face just now. it wasn't like this for the last few days....hmm i hope sth bad won't happen :pray:

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Helloo!! xDD Sorry for not reading up, i haven't been on too much because of school make up work that I have to do ( i was out for 5 days T-T, stupid calculus )

Well hang in thereee!! I'm sure they'll go away sooner or later!!! ^^ !!

As for the aquaphor, yes its a little greasy, but wow does it instantly take away the cracked and dry patches around my mouth. Does your nearest drug store have a site? Because walgreeens has one and i search it to see if the site has it. Most of the time, if the internet store has it, they have it real store xD Check it out!! ^ ^!!

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thanks thataznkid :angel: i'll look into that a bit more. and yeah, i understand, school is killing all of us right now!! i haven't relaxed a bit since last last monday...midterms and midterms and assignments and midterms! but i'm still lruking around on this board 'cause i'm addicted to it. lol. anyways good luck on all those make up work you have! (and ewww calculus ;) )

[rant]

that stinging last night was most definitely caused by the clindoxyl gel. and woohoo, when i got up this morning one of the painful red bumps turned into a freakin' HUGE whitehead :evil: (and flakies all around my left chin/mouth). good thing i'm skipping today. no way i want to see anyone with this mountain on my chin. and no i don't wanna pop it 'cause i'm afraid i'll just make it worse. hopefully by tomorrow it'll be dead. i doubt, but at least i dont' think it will be as "white" eww gross.

[/rant]

ok time to work on my dreaded psyc assignment :|

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day 21

i'm starting to not want to update as much, 'cause keeping a day to day makes me sad. the progress is slow, and not counting by the days make it seems like its going by faster.

but its working i can tell. for the past few days i did not update, i got a few pustles/cysts on my chin and they were big. then they popped on their own (when i was eating at home or when i wash my face) a few times and they bled and popped and bled and finally now its almost gone! however i got another one or two...or three on the side of my chin.

i bought the vichy thermal spa water spray on the weekends and it makes me feel better, at least psychologically. my cheeks got a few small red bumps, i think they are just clogged pores or something from my intensive foundation from everyday minerals? i really shoudln't use the intensive on a daily basis, i think its too "intense" for my skin! however its nothing i really worry about right now. and the blackheads are still hanging around. doesn't look like they wanna go away anytime soon.

i'll update a few days later, unless something BIG happens :ninja:

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day 24

tons of red marks and healing pimples and growing pimples on my chin and jaw line. they look disgusting.

my cheeks were relatively clear for the past 3 weeks...with only like 2-3 very very tiny zit that i care less about...until today..i saw i had clusters of tiny tiny clogged pores AGAIN (i had them before accutane once..) they look very very very bad...they are just flesh colored and i'm really worried now if it is my MMU. could this be part of my IB??? do you usually get clogged pores during IB?? and oh also...all those millions of blackheads on my nose look "raised"...i don't know why..are they on their way to leaving my nose?????

blah...this rollercoaster ride is tiring me out so bad. i can't concentrate in school/tests/work. oh and the corners of my mouth are dry and cracked for 4 days already and i can't even laugh or open my mouth without hurting. i put emu oil on the corners at night...hope it helps??

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day 29

almost one month in! wow time flies, can't wait until i say wow 4 months in or something. lol

anyways not much changed. i got a weird pustule located at the far side on my left cheek where i don't usually get pimples. its been there for 3 days and its drying up so i don't care. my forehead and chin/jawline are my battlezone right now. my forehead has like around 5-6 actives and is very very very bumpy. my chin/jawline was just dying down until today i got another 2 raised red lumps and one brewing right under one of them. nice.

i'm to the point where i really don't care anymore. i use to count them and stuff now i just don't have the energy to do that anymore. i can't concentrate in school at ALL. i so should be studying for my MT on friday right now but i'm on the org again.

side effects: dry lips, feelings VERY lethargic, rash on the back of my hand (that disappeared after i put emu oil), and tiny raised bumps on my arms. SOO WEIRD. anyone else have these? are they going to go away soon?? it'll look horrible if i keep having them hanging around because summer is coming soon and i won't have anymore long sleeve to cover them up!

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day 38

dose upped to 40mg/day

went to visit the doctor today. it sucked. :cry: he asked me why i'm still having new zits when i've been on this for a month and a week. he said most of his patients are clear by now. that just made me feel like crap more than ever. i asked him but i read from others they need around 3 months to see drastic improvement...and he told me his course was only 2-3 months long. wth??????? :mad: but i thought everyone's course was around 3-6 months! then he said i have 2 choices...either go on BC or double my dose for accutance....so obviously i chose doubling my dose coz its stupid giving up my whole month of accutance PLUS i still think its working...it just takes time, is it not? so now i only have around 1 and a half week left of accutane and my doc told me to see him after that....(he said he will give me 2 more weeks time on accutane to see what happens...what is that suppose to mean?? i'm going to have to go off after that?!?!?) oh yes and he told me not to use my coppertone oil free spf30 too....(i bought it coz it got rave reviews from makeupalley.....sigh:( )i'm just feeling soooooo blah because i can't believe my doctor said that...i can't believe he think this wouldn't work on me or something. what can i believe in when my doctor doesn't believe in it?? ok...back to acne business

so i was relatively clear last weekend. i was oh so happy thinking my IB is finally gone! and these kind of wishful thinking never lasts, and i got like 3 new spots formed on sunday night. yay. now i have 1 active on my chin, 1 active on my left cheek, and a few on my forehead...but a TON of redmarks. they just look like i have a lot of pimples on my chin and cheeks...maybe thats why my doctor think i'm getting worse??? i don't know. i'm crossing my finger i won't get another IB form this upped dose and hoping for improvement in these 2 weeks coz i NEED to stay on the tane!!

thank you for reading if theres actually anyone who reads this :( i was feeling fine until the doctor visit today. i feel like i just wanna dig a hole and hibernate until i am clear.

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honestly, ur doc sounds crazy lol

No but seriously I think it's way too soon to even consider giving up on accutane especially if you feel it's working for you so far....just hang in there

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Lol i think u should switch derms. I've read soooo many logs here.... and almost no one even clears by the 1st month....everyone's clear time seems to be month 2/3. 2 months of accutane sounds like a ridiculous waste! Good luck gurl!

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honestly, ur doc sounds crazy lol

No but seriously I think it's way too soon to even consider giving up on accutane especially if you feel it's working for you so far....just hang in there

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