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It's supposed to be brain food, but instead of making me feel sharper and more alert, I just get more crazy dreams than I used to.

The other night I dreamt I encountered Anthony Bourdain walking around my neighborhood. And then an unknown neighbor showed up and invited us over for a coke. I of course, have not had a coke for 2 years, but they turned out to be from Mexico in those old small glass bottles and I thought, at least it will be made with sugar, not HFCS. And they're small, so why not?. Then Bourdain suggested we all go to Chapultepecs, which is a dive Mexican restaurant in the area that I haven't been to or thought about in over 5 years.

This of course, isn't the most exciting dream I've had, but I just thought the details were weird. Anthony Bourdain? Mexican cokes and real sugar? The restaurant? I didn't even tell you about the monkeys or the weird kitchen. Why is my brain thinking of these things?

The best dream is the one where we were battling zombies and just when we were about to lose and all die, there was this time warp thing and we all went back to the beginning, but were vaguely aware we'd done this and were exhausted. Then it got weird. Joey from Friends was in it and in the second loop he went all berserker out beyond the perimeter. That one was fun.

Most are boring, just really odd. Once I dreamed that I was at work sitting around with some people and I looked down at the back of my leg and discovered that I'd apparently missed a spot shaving for so long that I had like a hairy cuff around where the top of a sock would be. And I was mad at the others because they had to have seen it, but no one said anything. What's that about?

And why don't I get porn dreams?

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Thats not a crazy dream at all. I think Zinc gives me crazy dreams.

A few weeks ago, I dreamt that this chic I was dating invited me to sleep over. However, her mom wouldn't let us sleep alone in one bed because she was worried we'd end up having sex and she was being protective of her daughter. So the mom insisted she sleep in the bed with us. Keep in mind, the mom is a total milf and is hot. So anyways, the mom sleeps in between to separate me and the girl from getting too close. Here comes the crazy part. My girlfriend dozes off, and her mom starts getting closer and closer to me, rubbing her body on my body. She's hot, so I don't mind. Next thing you know, me and the mom start going at it, with my girlfriend (her daughter) asleep right next to us!

It was a hot dream. I like zinc.

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Thats not a crazy dream at all. I think Zinc gives me crazy dreams.

A few weeks ago, I dreamt that this chic I was dating invited me to sleep over. However, her mom wouldn't let us sleep alone in one bed because she was worried we'd end up having sex and she was being protective of her daughter. So the mom insisted she sleep in the bed with us. Keep in mind, the mom is a total milf and is hot. So anyways, the mom sleeps in between to separate me and the girl from getting too close. Here comes the crazy part. My girlfriend dozes off, and her mom starts getting closer and closer to me, rubbing her body on my body. She's hot, so I don't mind. Next thing you know, me and the mom start going at it, with my girlfriend (her daughter) asleep right next to us!

It was a hot dream. I like zinc.

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Oh. Here's another one I had recently.

I was trying to make breakfast for my dad and couldn't do anything right. I was getting frustrated because I was trying to get it ready by the time he got out of the shower. My sister tried to help but apparently it wasn't enough. Now I can see that there could be some meaning behind this part because my father died about this time of year and we didn't get along well and sometimes I have some guilty thoughts about how I didn't really have to argue about everything with him. But here's the thing. After I had pretty much ruined everything, Tyra Banks called 'Cut' and said this wasn't working and went off to consult with the other producers.

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Oh. Here's another one I had recently.

I was trying to make breakfast for my dad and couldn't do anything right. I was getting frustrated because I was trying to get it ready by the time he got out of the shower. My sister tried to help but apparently it wasn't enough. Now I can see that there could be some meaning behind this part because my father died about this time of year and we didn't get along well and sometimes I have some guilty thoughts about how I didn't really have to argue about everything with him. But here's the thing. After I had pretty much ruined everything, Tyra Banks called 'Cut' and said this wasn't working and went off to consult with the other producers.

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Oh. Here's another one I had recently.

I was trying to make breakfast for my dad and couldn't do anything right. I was getting frustrated because I was trying to get it ready by the time he got out of the shower. My sister tried to help but apparently it wasn't enough. Now I can see that there could be some meaning behind this part because my father died about this time of year and we didn't get along well and sometimes I have some guilty thoughts about how I didn't really have to argue about everything with him. But here's the thing. After I had pretty much ruined everything, Tyra Banks called 'Cut' and said this wasn't working and went off to consult with the other producers.

I noticed you have a lot of celebrity appearances in your dreams...

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