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accutane will cure all your problems..ha, such ignorance. my face after the treatments has made me look old and unrecoverable. for many months i've had redness from rosacea, many large pores, and what looks like tiny acne bumps all over my forehead that never want to leave. makeup is the only thing that will fool people..yet not really.

*sigh*

right now i want to be completely oblivious and carefree than cognizant and jaded. denial is the mind's favorite way to cope. however, living in such a way would tether intellectual and emotional growth. i'm really sick of changing and change in general. but at the same time, i want everything fast, fast, fast, and the reaction to this causes me to crash. why must we live in this meaningless world day after day? i've seen it all and done it all. once you have you become depressed..then apathetic..and then lifeless.

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accutane will cure all your problems..ha, such ignorance. my face after the treatments has made me look old and unrecoverable. for many months i've had redness from rosacea, many large pores, and what looks like tiny acne bumps all over my forehead that never want to leave. makeup is the only thing that will fool people..yet not really.

*sigh*

right now i want to be completely oblivious and carefree than cognizant and jaded. denial is the mind's favorite way to cope. however, living in such a way would tether intellectual and emotional growth. i'm really sick of changing and change in general. but at the same time, i want everything fast, fast, fast, and the reaction to this causes me to crash. why must we live in this meaningless world day after day? i've seen it all and done it all. once you have you become depressed..then apathetic..and then lifeless.

Dont feel guilty. The 'now syndrome' is common in this day and age. We want everything to be a quick fix, when really, that whole concept is going against reality as we know it. Evolution doesn't happen in 1 minute, and the universe took billions of years to form before it even was an idea. So we spend our time feeling depressed, and as a targeted victim when we dont get what we need right away. We feel like we're the only ones who are experiencing this. But the truth is, time and patience is the only thing that will allow us to become balanced, which in turn will cause us to heal.

Truth is beauty, even if we feel (and see) its crawling with ugly. Meditation helped me rid myself of my bitterness and anger; before I started, I hated the world and my reality. I found my outbreaks happen more frequently when I freak out -- days where I dont want to be in my own skin anymore, drowned in feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and being totally stagnant. It takes much will-power for me to snap out of it, and to pick myself up, and fill my mind with rational and helpful thoughts. I hate saying "keep positive" because feeling negative is necessary for personal growth. We have to hit rock bottom to want to be able to climb back to the top. Character comes from experience, and knowledge comes from what we are receptive to and willing to learn from.

I decided to reply to your message because your thoughts were eerily similar to mine. A constant movement towards the cycles of depression, hope, then disappointments. But know this: we may not be able to fix our reality immediately, but, we can change our perceptions on it, instantly. You start there, your reality will shift, its the law of the universe.

Im with you on this, but remember: when you fall down on your ass and get back up, and then fall back down again -- your butt bone will only get stronger... and your next falls will happen, but the damage wont be as severe and your resilience will be out of this world.

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then we would never really learn who we really are. some have acne, some others have other various diseases they ended up praying to god about at night, wishing they were either dead or someone else. it just so happens, its our battle...

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