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The Welshman

Acne, can't get a girlfriend?

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I just can't get a girlfriend because of my skin thats what i believe, i don't have to many spots its the scars that are the problem. It gets me down cuz am 20 and have never had a girlfriend. It not that i can't talk to girls but i don't think that any girl will like me cuz of this shit. I got rejected by this girl who is in my college class a few weeks ago, i liked her a lot, well not just liked but loved and i think the only reason she rejected me was cuz of my skin. I can't c myself being with a girl cuz they don't wanna be with a butt ugly guy like me. Its sad i know but i just give up, theres no hope.

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Well, my face is a pizza and I wouldn't mind dating a guy with acne. Of course, the guys with acne don't approach me. I have to do all the instigating :( .

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I honestly think it has to do with a person's personality. Here are some questions for thought. Are you normally an outgoing person? Like do you hang out in large groups and are you the person who starts conversations. Do you approach people and start a conversation with them? Are you the party type? etc.

For most people, college is about partying and one nighters. Last semester, I was hanging out with some guys who had a face full of indented scars. Literally every inch of their skin was a scar and he was out partying and he had girls all over him. Ever since my acne got worse, I started to notice it more on others. Acne doesn't stop them from getting girls.

Don't get acne get you down. Ask yourself this, what type of relationship are you looking for? A one nighter? A serious relationship?

If your looking for a one nighter, then the girl will probably care about how you look. That's just how it is.

Now if your looking for a serious relationship, the girl won't care about how you look. Serious relationships don't just happen over night. It takes time to develop.

On a side note, I believe girls care more about their own looks then yours. If they love you then they'd probably love you for who you are and not how you look. Relationships are sustained through communication. I was hanging out a chick and she freaked out over one pimple that was starting to form on her forehead. It was just a red mark and a little BP spot treatment would of made it go away in no time.

Anyways, don't get your hopes down. There are probably plenty of girls that liked you, but they don't say a thing. Twenty is still a young age, you still have plenty of time to look for someone to fill that void in your heart.

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Trust me. girls will talk to you as long as you make them laugh. its the key. they want entertainment. become friends with many girls. then chose one and focus on her to show her who u r

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I strongly believe its not what you look like but how you carry yourself. If your self conscious, shy, not outgoing then people won't be attracted to you probably. But even with acne if your outgoing, and show people who you are then girls(or in my case guys) will give you a chance and want to be with you.

Seriously never for a moment did I ever think my lack of dates(never had a boyfriend and I'm 22 so I feel your pain) was because of my acne. My lack of dates comes from ME. I dunno what your situation is fully or how outgoing or what kind of person you are, but if your just honest with yourself, and not be afraid to show people who you are, that will out live and shine more then any stupid bump on your face. Trust me girls pick up on stuff, if they get a right feeling from you they will focus on that :D

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Nah I think shitty skin has hindered me manyfold with dating. I've seen girls all over hottie guys with crap personalities. I think personality is overrated--people just amplify it because it's seemingly more under one's own control than looks are. Also girls will keep around guys who make them laugh--as friends. As for who gets the action it still goes to the studs who treat them badly.

I'm also averse to the hypothetical situation of introducing someone with shitty skin to my family. It would just be embarassing. In spite of the fact that my own skin sucks too. Damn, I know my family holds that against me.

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@hostiletakeover

Its true that many girls go for hot guys with crappy personalities but those are also the chicks that are looking for one nighters. Who sleep with a different guy every night, go out to clubs and bars and get their ass drunk that they end up in the hospital and they return the next night. Just as you stated.

Then again there are hot girls who actually seek out serious relationship, won't care if your face is full of scars or full of acne. Once they get to know you they look beyond that. The biggest part of maintaining a relationship is the conversation. That's where the laughter part comes in. A girl wants to be heard, when their going through problems and when drama occurs in their lives. As opposed to a guy, who just lets out their frustration at anybody around, even inanimate objects, poor walls.

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Trust me. girls will talk to you as long as you make them laugh. its the key. they want entertainment. become friends with many girls. then chose one and focus on her to show her who u r

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Nah I think shitty skin has hindered me manyfold with dating. I've seen girls all over hottie guys with crap personalities. I think personality is overrated--people just amplify it because it's seemingly more under one's own control than looks are. Also girls will keep around guys who make them laugh--as friends. As for who gets the action it still goes to the studs who treat them badly.

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I have a girlfriend and we both have pretty bad acne and it is the best relationship I have ever been with. If that girl does not want you because of your skin that would you really want to be with her, cause that is really fucked up. A girl like that isn't going to be with you when things get hard and as time goes on. Find someone who likes you for exactly what you are.

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Trust me. girls will talk to you as long as you make them laugh. its the key. they want entertainment. become friends with many girls. then chose one and focus on her to show her who u r

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Why don't you date some one with acne? :)

I wish it was that easy. I am of the opinion that women with acne do not want to be seen with a guy with acne. Usually friends and family will tell them that they can do better than that monster. They would rather hold out for their dream date or accept someone they do not like but their peers do.

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our society is so focused on how you look to be accepted as pretty, beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, attractive, and etc.

the media portrays that we are 'not ok' because we have acne and it will ruin our lives and we need to hurry and make sure it looks ok so we will be accepted.

love yourself for who you are..

stop looking in mirrors.. find out what you love about yourself and write to yourself about why you like this certain thing.

go out with friends.. laugh once in awhile.. go to a movie..

just do what you can to be positive.

our society tends to reject anyone who doesnt look the same way they do..

it's horrible.

dont listen to people who say you are ugly because of your acne..

be positive.. we never know when we are going to die.. so live it up while you have life and don't let it get you down.

if you focus your whole life on acne you're wasting your time.... i know we want to feel better about ourselves and how we look... but it's really hurting some people..

just smile.

;)

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I agree with kitty,

Although Its sometimes hard to get over acne + scars psychologically,

But Its possible to train your mind to be more positive and that can breed confidence.

gradually it gets better

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i feel that if it weren't for me getting a girlfriend, and caring about how she thought of my appearance, even though she gets acne too and she likes making out, i would still have acne to the extent that i had before. i would get a new one once every few days, and i could never stop myself from popping/picking at it. it was just so itchy, and the thought of getting that white stuff out made me feel good.

so yeah, basically, i took things seriously and put in more effort than i ever have before just for her. because her ex's had clear skin, and the celebs she crushes on also have clear skin (then again, they have the advantage of being much older, and over with puberty)

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I've had girlfriends when my skin was worse than it is right now. Good look will probably get you more dating chance however, but in the end just looking good won't be the reason for a couple success.

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We constantly get products thrown in our face about how to look better or feel better.

WE ourselves need to feel better to live life and feel happy about who we are.

If you don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend people think you're single, alone, unhappy- especially the media.. they make you think you are NOT OK because you don't have love in your life...

Love yourself before you love anyone.

Love who you are.. cause in the end when no one can help you solve any problems.. you need to be there for yourself! We aren't here to solve your acne but to help you :) And you're the only person that can help yourself the most.

That's what I've learned from being hardcore single for 3 years and dealing with off and on 'dating'.

Acne wise.. the best way to get rid of acne is to be positive about it.. don't look at yourself as ugly just because acne is considered a bad thing.

No one is perfect.. everyone has their flaws.

You will find a great person who will accept you for who you are and what you look like regardless if YOU THINK you look horrible.

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Basically I always say if the person doesn't want you because of how you look, then its not your lost, seriously. I understand there are really shallow people in this world, its no secret there are girls and guys who do date only perfect looking people. But those same people don't want a serious relationship. If your dumped(or can't get friends or whatever) because of how you look, screw them, they honestly don't have big enough of a heart to get to know YOU.

I know many girls who dated guys that were okaayyy looking but loved them anyway, I have friends who have acne but are dating guys who don't care. There are people in this world who simple don't care how you look, you just have to get lucky enough to find them. I've been asked out many times before and with how my face is its a wonder why they did it..LOL but I always have been told I have a very nice personality and I'm charming so that comes through more then what's on my face.

I think once you get older you'll find adults don't care how you look, I think its when your much younger it does matter. At my age I could care less how people look. Now if your someone who cares what OTHER people look like and want to date only perfect looking people then your just shallow, Sorry.

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We constantly get products thrown in our face about how to look better or feel better.

WE ourselves need to feel better to live life and feel happy about who we are.

If you don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend people think you're single, alone, unhappy- especially the media.. they make you think you are NOT OK because you don't have love in your life...

Love yourself before you love anyone.

Love who you are.. cause in the end when no one can help you solve any problems.. you need to be there for yourself! We aren't here to solve your acne but to help you :) And you're the only person that can help yourself the most.

That's what I've learned from being hardcore single for 3 years and dealing with off and on 'dating'.

Acne wise.. the best way to get rid of acne is to be positive about it.. don't look at yourself as ugly just because acne is considered a bad thing.

No one is perfect.. everyone has their flaws.

You will find a great person who will accept you for who you are and what you look like regardless if YOU THINK you look horrible.

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We constantly get products thrown in our face about how to look better or feel better.

WE ourselves need to feel better to live life and feel happy about who we are.

If you don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend people think you're single, alone, unhappy- especially the media.. they make you think you are NOT OK because you don't have love in your life...

Love yourself before you love anyone.

Love who you are.. cause in the end when no one can help you solve any problems.. you need to be there for yourself! We aren't here to solve your acne but to help you :) And you're the only person that can help yourself the most.

That's what I've learned from being hardcore single for 3 years and dealing with off and on 'dating'.

Acne wise.. the best way to get rid of acne is to be positive about it.. don't look at yourself as ugly just because acne is considered a bad thing.

No one is perfect.. everyone has their flaws.

You will find a great person who will accept you for who you are and what you look like regardless if YOU THINK you look horrible.

I would be happy with on/off dateing but i dont even get that.

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I know how you feel TC. I've never had a GF and I'm 19. Right now my acne is not that bad but the problem is the scars. I have a lot of deep scars on my face I look like a monster in bright lighting. Having acne has totally killed my self confidence that whenever I'm around a pretty girl I turn into a complete pussy. I know that people say you should be happy with who you are and learn to be happy a lone but the truth is I'm lonely and have been for quite some time. I just feel like a girlfriend is the only thing missing in my life right now. Sorry for being so emo right now but I've been down all week since finding out I failed my midterm with no chance of passing the class now.

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