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Jaurim540

new to therapy, psychologist + is this guy normal?

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so this is kind of odd but i really was hoping to get a psychologist that listens cuz i have major issues.. but this guy is kind of not really receptive to emotional problems it just seems like he sums everything up in one or two sentences and almost laughs at what i say.. then he tries to belittle and stereotype all my problems. he doesnt seem to care about what i have to say and i find myself looking frantically for him to pause and let me talk about myself and my problems. i mean i know i listen to him and im never rude.. but he just doesnt get that i need to tell someone my problems thats what i paid for.. but he just acts like i have nothing to say which makes it soo difficult to trust him and tell him the real probs in my life. i am so bottled up with all my issues that i never tell or told anyone in my life. i was hoping he would try and help me and encourage me to open up.. but its like the opposite. is he suppose to try and help me open up and take an interest or just talk about how my problem relates to his other patients.

it bothers me cuz i kinda wanna see someone else.. but everything takes time and im dying over this. i wish he was more receptive. and understanding of real emotion but he's not. :(

is this the way its suppose to be? and how can i get more out of the sessions? what shud i be doing..saying.. we only see each other for about 45 minutes to an hour every thurs if that.

anyone with advice on this or how therapy is suppose to go or what makes a good therapist or even what to look for in a good on.. PLEASE let me know.. i really need help.

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its like the guy is sititng there judging me.. thats how i feel. he covers his mouth sometimes and i swear i could see him smiling. like i know i come off as friendly and probably more thick skinned int he way i speak and joke aorund a lot.. but that doesnt mean i dont want the same serious therapy that other people get. i am used to being very submissive and passive and like its hard for me to let my guard down and even get to tlaking baout my real problems because i dont tell anyone else.. i see the minutes go by and it kills me that i drive all the way there and recieve no help in digging up my real problems.. i know there are things i want to say but i am so scared of being judged and like... him changing the subject every 2 seconds to like art or science or other patients just doesnt help.. he seems like such an average guy he watches the superbowl.. curses in front of me.. u know i know hes trying to come off as real but i think i need someone at least i dunno.. serious? or serious and determined enough for me to feel okay about speaking about my probs, most of which are actually embarassing.. so i dont know what to do with the guy.. he'd prolly think i was a weirdo if id just started telling him my whole life story or all my problems in one session.. i think he doenst believe i am as depressed as i am. ugg... couldnt i have gotten the zen master therapist.. or those really kind ones.. that are in touch with everything..

wud a woman help?

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Since you're just beginning, I think you should keep going to the sessions for a little while. Sometimes it takes a bit of time for clients to get "accustomed" to their therapists. I know it's difficult, but try not to fight him or what he says. Psychologists usually know what they're saying and doing, and very often it's us--the clients--that are being unreasonable.

When I was getting counseling for my OCD/ OCPD, I didn't think I had a problem because my perception was so skewed by the disorders. I basically nodded at everything my counselor said, and I walked out totally disregarding what we talked about, hoping that I could behave in a certain way so that she would say I was "normal". I also had issues with trust, but as we had more sessions, I got comfortable with her and I opened up.

wud a woman help?

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Since you're just beginning, I think you should keep going to the sessions for a little while. Sometimes it takes a bit of time for clients to get "accustomed" to their therapists. I know it's difficult, but try not to fight him or what he says. Psychologists usually know what they're saying and doing, and very often it's us--the clients--that are being unreasonable.

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Since you're just beginning, I think you should keep going to the sessions for a little while. Sometimes it takes a bit of time for clients to get "accustomed" to their therapists. I know it's difficult, but try not to fight him or what he says. Psychologists usually know what they're saying and doing, and very often it's us--the clients--that are being unreasonable.

The bolded part is not true. You being uncomfortable with the style in which your psychologist interacts with you doesn't mean you are being unreasonable, or that you need to become accustomed to them. You are paying money to receive treatment, that treatment should be centered around your needs and capabilities, not those of your therapist.

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I'm with Jen.

Unless you feel comfortable, it's unlikely that you'll have a *therapeutic* relationship and that is - quite frankly - the entire goal - therapy.

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yeahh i think more of the theraputic approach was what i kinda wanted. about a year ago i needed to get a note form a psychologist that confirmed i had insomnia so that i wouldnt get kicked out of school for being late every day.. and i eventually got it from going to one session with my moms old psychologist. i think this is where my high hopes came form about psychologists in general. the guy just let me go and talk and he seemed like he was asking good quesitons and taking everything in and trying to understand me and my situation verses asking hows it going? and then telling me his own stories for the rest of the session, taking up all the time.

so i was really dissapointed that this guy turned out to be your average slob with a license. but.. i want to kinda feel helped but im just not. i guess seeing a woman is a better bet in general but ill have to do my research. this guy just doesnt come off as ure usual shrink i dunno..

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and yeahhh btw it does involve social anxiety and of course my perception of my skin and how i let it effect my life. i guess im looking for someone who will listen and understand and give me answers or methods on how to actively go about a plan for change or how to look at htings differently.. it quite strange what i want but i really need this

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If you're not comfortable with the therapist, you're just not comfortable. You're paying the money; you get to choose someone else. That's just the way it goes. He's selling a service; you don't like it, do find another whose approach is closer to something you might be able to benefit from.

I'd recommend finding someone who employs cognitive behavioral therapy. You can ask on the phone if the counselor employs CBT. It's immensely helpful and does not require years of hacking up dessicated hairballs of the past. One concentrates on the now, and what will help NOW.

Good luck! :)

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If you're not comfortable with the therapist, you're just not comfortable. You're paying the money; you get to choose someone else. That's just the way it goes. He's selling a service; you don't like it, do find another whose approach is closer to something you might be able to benefit from.

I'd recommend finding someone who employs cognitive behavioral therapy. You can ask on the phone if the counselor employs CBT. It's immensely helpful and does not require years of hacking up dessicated hairballs of the past. One concentrates on the now, and what will help NOW.

Good luck! :)

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People have one or two bad therapy situations and then swear off proffesional help forever - which is a shame, because they are screwing themselves. Psychologists are like any other bunch of people - some you're going to get along with, some you're not, and others just won't matter one way or the other. If you find yourself with someone who doesn't work for you, find someone else. I've been through several therapists myself - it's about interpersonal relationships, not a fault with the entire proffesion.

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I think you need to find a new therapist, this guy sounds really unprofessional. There are bad therapists in the world, that's for sure, but that doesn't mean they're all bad. I've had two experiences with bad therapists:

I had a therapist once who fell asleep during one of our sessions. I had to let myself out. She was taking medication for a condition she had, and that was the cause of it, but it was weird because one time, it looked like she was about to fall asleep, like she was nodding off, and then she started talking about some guy who had sexual dysfunction "and then we worked on it and he got better, and he was very happy...what were we talking about again?". The next week, she didn't even remember the session. She also was the type to talk more than she let me talk...when she was awake that is, lol Overall, weird experience, lol.

When I was teenager my boyfriend had a therapist, and so he introduced me to him, and out of the blue, the guy asks me if my father had molested me, which he hadn't, so I said no. He started acting like I was overly defensive, like, "Hey...just asking...", and then told my boyfriend he thought I was being molested by my father. It became a huge problem because it wasn't true, and my boyfriend wouldn't let it go, because his therapist, this supposed psychological authority figure, had said he thought this was happening. It ended up ruining our relationship.

So there are definitely bad therapists out there, don't blame yourself. Find a new one, and the sooner you do, the better off you'll be.

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I think you need to find a new therapist, this guy sounds really unprofessional. There are bad therapists in the world, that's for sure, but that doesn't mean they're all bad. I've had two experiences with bad therapists:

I had a therapist once who fell asleep during one of our sessions. I had to let myself out. She was taking medication for a condition she had, and that was the cause of it, but it was weird because one time, it looked like she was about to fall asleep, like she was nodding off, and then she started talking about some guy who had sexual dysfunction "and then we worked on it and he got better, and he was very happy...what were we talking about again?". The next week, she didn't even remember the session. She also was the type to talk more than she let me talk...when she was awake that is, lol Overall, weird experience, lol.

When I was teenager my boyfriend had a therapist, and so he introduced me to him, and out of the blue, the guy asks me if my father had molested me, which he hadn't, so I said no. He started acting like I was overly defensive, like, "Hey...just asking...", and then told my boyfriend he thought I was being molested by my father. It became a huge problem because it wasn't true, and my boyfriend wouldn't let it go, because his therapist, this supposed psychological authority figure, had said he thought this was happening. It ended up ruining our relationship.

So there are definitely bad therapists out there, don't blame yourself. Find a new one, and the sooner you do, the better off you'll be.

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