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hey,ive recently posted a few threads about the way my acne has been making me feel,depressed,worthless,ugly..blah de blah and that i have no social life and people have been giving me really good words of wisdom saying that i shouldnt let acne take away the best years of my life ...and actually i have started to think positive about things...

i hardly ever leave the house but i know i really need to in order to get a life,so basically what im asking is what can i do to make more friends? apart from hobbies?

has anyone been like a hermit(like me) and got more confidence and got a life? and how they did it?

thanks

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heya matey ; )

..i just wrote a huge essay of a post out, but accidentaly clicked forward and it went..nooooooo lol. my aching arms say don't do it! but ima gonna write a shorter reply.

..i had a 'hermit' year as i like to call it, after i had finished school, rarely went out, no friends, depressed etc. 2 years later, looking back, i can't believe that was me back then. your life can COMPLETELY change. i thought there was no way out, i was gonna grow old being a hermit.., but there really is a way out, and for you to be happy again..and most importanly- have a life :)

first start, is to go round town handing CVs out. i personally went with a parent, as i was too embarrased to give out my cvs due to my acne..so we went shopping, handed them out etc. your best bet is to drop yourself in the deep end- get a job in the busiest place you can think of. prefferably retail. aim to get a part time weekend job at first (4hours a day) ..weekends due to the fact that most of the staff will be young and in your age group 16-24 so you'll have more chance to make friends. also retail cuz most people, young or old, like to be 'in fashion' so its easy to make friends. the best way to get confidence is being in this enviroment, you're forced to talk to customers, no matter how shy you are. and you got plenty of things to talk to the staff about..usually bitch about how boring the job is haha.

i went from never going out to the busiest store i could find (primark, for those in the uk) and while at first i didnt really like it, i was so shy..a few months down the line and my confidence is so much better, 2 years later, im one of the most confident people you'll ever meet. i have also met the best friends ive ever had, and a few girlfriends along the way ;)

thats the main step, as it'll give your week some structure and get you out, meeting people, earning money etc. it will all get better from there, you can really trust me on that :)

i saw that you needed advice on prudcts:

NEVER use panoxyl..worst product ever. dries your face out soo much. if you want BP use Oxy 10..it's the best i found, behind the counter at pharmacies, 4.99. or oxy on the spot (2.5) though it didnt really do anything :S simple soapis also a good cleanser. just keep at it and you should see improvements, don't put too much on etc. im not sure about moisturizers..mine wasnt so great (clean and clear dual action) and left me dry for a few months. id say don't use aloe vira or however its spelt, left my face red always and just irritated me. my advice is

morning :

simple soap cleanse

wait 5 minutes

small amount of oxy 10 all over

wait 15 minutes

small amount of clean and clear al over

but

>>>>>>>>>>> make sure you use a SPF moisturizer in the summer, AND NEVER apply anything on sunburnt skin..<<<<

this combo cleared my skin up 100% (face)

id also say forget the minocylin or whatever you're taking, i mustve tried different antibiotics and none worked. the docter would say its onlybeen 2 months, wait another 2 and see if its working! which i did..and newsflash - they never worked. just cut to the chase..my GP didnt care about me at all just wrote perscriptions and basically told me to get out.

woo essay post again :D hope some of it helps. and i promise you, things will get better:) if you ever need someone to talk to, or even leave messages/emails to talk about how you;re feeling, feel free to pm/mail me, or ask for my bebo or facebook(i check those waaaay more)

same goes to anyone else on these forums, reading this post..

adamski

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Awesome reply Adam, a true tale of confidence turn around! Its takes guts to work in primark I must say, did all the housewives and old biddies not comment on your acne at all?

ifonly just follow the above advice, easier said than done I know but a job like that can really help, I work behind a bar and that can really suck when you have bad acne but I have got confidence from just enduring it.

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I agree that getting a job working with a lot of people is a good way to network socially. If you work with the public it helps build basic social skills also. I worked at a drugstore in college and it helped me with small talk with strangers. I wouldn't call myself a hermit, but I used to be painfully shy, and I still struggle with shyness.

Develop hobbies or interest that put you around people. Especially ones where you frequent the same place & people get to recognize you. I've met people at concerts because I like music and go to shows a lot (or I used to). When I go by myself, I've met people. So go out alone. You actually don't seem like a loser to others, you seem like you have guts, which is attractive.

My friend's fiance had little friends left, and he made a bunch of new ones when he got into paint ball guns. He was always hanging out at some paint ball place and just naturally befriended other regulars.

School is a great place to meet people. If you're not in school of any kind, try taking a class at a local community college. Take something that interests you and you'll meet people with common interests and have built-in conversations. It's very easy to ask someone to get some coffee or lunch after class.

Just start very casually with people, and you won't seem intense or weird. When you ask them to do things, ask them like it's a last minute thought to invite them and you already were going anyway. If they say they can't, just let it roll off your back. That will counteract any air of desperation you may feel you give off.

If people wonder why you don't have friends, there are many reasons you can give them:

1) all my friends have moved recently and suddenly I have no one to hang out with

2) I've grown apart from my old friends; we're in different places in our lives and don't see eachother much anymore.

3) I've been so busy with ___fill-in-the-blank, that I haven't had time to hang out with anyone, now I have time for friends again

I made friends a lot easier in college than any time in my life. People are just really open to new friends in those situations.

Everywhere you go, be open to new people and conversations. Keep your head up, make eye contact, and smile. If you look inviting to people, then they are more likely to approach you also, and they will be forgiving of small social blunders you may make out of awkwardness because they see you are trying & are friendly in general.

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heya matey ; )

..i just wrote a huge essay of a post out, but accidentaly clicked forward and it went..nooooooo lol. my aching arms say don't do it! but ima gonna write a shorter reply.

..i had a 'hermit' year as i like to call it, after i had finished school, rarely went out, no friends, depressed etc. 2 years later, looking back, i can't believe that was me back then. your life can COMPLETELY change. i thought there was no way out, i was gonna grow old being a hermit.., but there really is a way out, and for you to be happy again..and most importanly- have a life :)

first start, is to go round town handing CVs out. i personally went with a parent, as i was too embarrased to give out my cvs due to my acne..so we went shopping, handed them out etc. your best bet is to drop yourself in the deep end- get a job in the busiest place you can think of. prefferably retail. aim to get a part time weekend job at first (4hours a day) ..weekends due to the fact that most of the staff will be young and in your age group 16-24 so you'll have more chance to make friends. also retail cuz most people, young or old, like to be 'in fashion' so its easy to make friends. the best way to get confidence is being in this enviroment, you're forced to talk to customers, no matter how shy you are. and you got plenty of things to talk to the staff about..usually bitch about how boring the job is haha.

i went from never going out to the busiest store i could find (primark, for those in the uk) and while at first i didnt really like it, i was so shy..a few months down the line and my confidence is so much better, 2 years later, im one of the most confident people you'll ever meet. i have also met the best friends ive ever had, and a few girlfriends along the way ;)

thats the main step, as it'll give your week some structure and get you out, meeting people, earning money etc. it will all get better from there, you can really trust me on that :)

i saw that you needed advice on prudcts:

NEVER use panoxyl..worst product ever. dries your face out soo much. if you want BP use Oxy 10..it's the best i found, behind the counter at pharmacies, 4.99. or oxy on the spot (2.5) though it didnt really do anything :S simple soapis also a good cleanser. just keep at it and you should see improvements, don't put too much on etc. im not sure about moisturizers..mine wasnt so great (clean and clear dual action) and left me dry for a few months. id say don't use aloe vira or however its spelt, left my face red always and just irritated me. my advice is

morning :

simple soap cleanse

wait 5 minutes

small amount of oxy 10 all over

wait 15 minutes

small amount of clean and clear al over

but

>>>>>>>>>>> make sure you use a SPF moisturizer in the summer, AND NEVER apply anything on sunburnt skin..<<<<

this combo cleared my skin up 100% (face)

id also say forget the minocylin or whatever you're taking, i mustve tried different antibiotics and none worked. the docter would say its onlybeen 2 months, wait another 2 and see if its working! which i did..and newsflash - they never worked. just cut to the chase..my GP didnt care about me at all just wrote perscriptions and basically told me to get out.

woo essay post again :D hope some of it helps. and i promise you, things will get better:) if you ever need someone to talk to, or even leave messages/emails to talk about how you;re feeling, feel free to pm/mail me, or ask for my bebo or facebook(i check those waaaay more)

same goes to anyone else on these forums, reading this post..

adamski

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Ok, well first of all, you just have to put yourself out there. Attitude is key. You really do sound like a person i would want to hang out with, just from personality. You just need to show other people that you are someone cool to hang out with too! I was in the same position as you, i just thought noone would want to hang out with me. But, i changed my attitude, and i just went around finding friends. I would hang out with a group and then if it didnt spark, i would just not call them or whatever. Finally i found a group of friends i love to death! You just have to make the effort!

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Ok, well first of all, you just have to put yourself out there. Attitude is key. You really do sound like a person i would want to hang out with, just from personality. You just need to show other people that you are someone cool to hang out with too! I was in the same position as you, i just thought noone would want to hang out with me. But, i changed my attitude, and i just went around finding friends. I would hang out with a group and then if it didnt spark, i would just not call them or whatever. Finally i found a group of friends i love to death! You just have to make the effort!
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hehe thanks! people who i do talk do say ive got a great personality and great sense of humour and that boosts my confidence a lil bit.

hehe everyones giving such good advice!

thankoo! :D

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hehe thanks! people who i do talk do say ive got a great personality and great sense of humour and that boosts my confidence a lil bit.

hehe everyones giving such good advice!

thankoo! :D

problem number 1- you seem to be always on here! ahaha you reply so fast! maybe i do the same... :doh: But you need to get out of the computer and go make friends! :D

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hahaha yeah fair point! but this website does become rather addictive! :wacko:

I know... i have no idea why! Its just whenever i sit at the computer i have to check it! Acne.org is probably the reason i have acne! It keeps me from eating right, exercising, and washing my face. Curse you!

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hahaha yeah fair point! but this website does become rather addictive! :wacko:

I know... i have no idea why! Its just whenever i sit at the computer i have to check it! Acne.org is probably the reason i have acne! It keeps me from eating right, exercising, and washing my face. Curse you!

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i have got 3 really close friends but im always makin excuse not to meet up with them which sucks!

Aw, you're ahead of the game then. Sometimes when you're feeling down you have to push yourself to go out with friends and break the cycle of isolation. You'll probably feel better if you do too. At first you may be like "I don't want to go", but when you're there you'll have a good time. It will actually take your mind off your skin if you get absorbed in having fun with your friends.

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