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AI3forever

Girls, would you date a guy with acne scars? And guys vice versa

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Yeah, sometimes I wonder why these threads exist too. People can get all the validation in the world from the opposite sex and it will mean nothing if you don't feel comfortable in your own skin. I feel bad for stooping to that asshole's level and hurting anyone's feelings, so I removed my original posting. I should learn to stay out of these type of threads.

Edited by Datura
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Heh no need to snipe at each other. I kinda wonder at the point of this thread... Is it to satisfy some need we have that we are attractive?

Deep down, everyone knows scars are unsightly, else none of us will be here. If we already know scars are unsightly, then wats the point of this type of thread?

Finally, it is definitely harder for girls to have scars. Girls are generally expected to look better. Its the truth, no sexism or anything. Its kinda like being promiscuous. Girls will be considered slutty while guys' conquests will be celebrated. Its a societal failure.

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Our perceptions of physical beauty are determined by both popular culture (what we see in magazines, TV) and an evolutionary drive to seek mates with common characteristics.

It's the second one I find really interesting -- it's called koinophilia and it means we find the most average features attractive. So if most people have small noses, we consider small noses to be attractive, because it means that this trait has been successful on an evolutionary level (it's been passed on more). So when we think of "beautiful" people as exceptional, they're actually just exceptionally average. But this evolutionary drive isn't particularly intelligent -- there's nothing actually wrong with people with big noses... and I think a lot of humans have figured this out.

Personally the reason I've had trouble dealing with my acne scars is seeing all the people with smooth skin around me and wishing desperately that I had perfectly smooth skin. If most people's skin looked like mine, I wouldn't ever care.

I guess my point is, our perceptions of "standard" beauty aren't based on anything that really means anything in itself. Acne scars aren't objectively ugly, we just think they are because they're not common. Real beauty is more complicated. Which is why people with scars, and other potentially disfiguring conditions, do often find people who love them and find them attractive.

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my girlfriend was one day standing with a group of us talking about another friends husband & she goes : "OMG how can she sleep with that man!" The guy had severe acne scars.I stared at my friend & said "well if thats what you are saying about him I wonder what you think of me."

And this was between us girls.I have had men say a lot of bad things to me.

I would date someone with acne or acne scars because I know how it feels to live with this pain.But very few people with clear beautiful skin like to date or marry those with acne or scars.If there is someone who likes you even for that then thats a real show of goodness of heart that person can look beyond your outward appearance.

But just like someone said if they had acne they'd find someone with a similar issue so they's feel that person could sympathize with them.I wonder if the pretty ones will do it so that they always can feel pretty beside the ones with acne & scars?And I also wonder if I myself would have liked someone with acne scars had I had clear skin myself?

In many ways acne has made me a better & a wose person all at the same time.But yes people do judge by looks,its sad but true.

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If I met a girl who was a nice person I wouldn't care how she looked and I would tell her every chance I get that she is beautiful because she would be to me.

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Guest invaderzim
Really? I think everyone has a chance at love. There are still opportunities to start quality friendships/relationships. Acne scars are not the end of your dating life.

edit: and of course this is from 2008.

sorry, but that's crap from my experience.

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I think that women are attracted to good looks almost as much as men. Many studies have shown that they gravitate to better looking guys. Women may focus a bit less on looks than men but not that much.

The real damage for men is the effect on your self esteem and confidence. Women avoid unconfident men like the plague and if you have the least bit of ambivalence when you approach them for the first time, they will pick up on it and ditch you as fast as possible. Also, scars have the effect of making a guy look harsher and many women are looking for the boyish or less manly look. They simply take that first impression and run with it.

I definetly agree with this, especially the second paragraph. People can easily over look facial deformities "if" it doesn't affect the person from the inside. As i've stated in other posts, People aren't afraid or turned off by the fact someone has acne, but how i it influences person's personality. SOme people are already pretty self-conscious and ill-relaxed w/out having acne as it is, let alone someone like that that has it; It's a serious love repellant.

Their a guys that have way worse acne than I do but their just the life of the party and act as if they aren't aware they even have acne or they've never been clued in on it. That is a serious turn-on for alot of people, having someone that is so calm and collected and optimist while enduring the storms of life.

For me, I wouldn't be afraid to persue a girl with acne/scars; As long as we have connecting: Personalities, values, life outlook (plans on direction in heading) etc.. Theirs been plenty of girls that have had flawless skin but soon as you engage in a conversation, they can be some of the most uptight, critical, annoying, and unpleasant people to be around. Personally, it doesn't matter for alot of people, just aslong as that persons demeaner isn't acne filled.

Edited by BeautifulPerseverance619
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Really? I think everyone has a chance at love. There are still opportunities to start quality friendships/relationships. Acne scars are not the end of your dating life.

edit: and of course this is from 2008.

sorry, but that's crap from my experience.

Thank you for your assistance.

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Really? I think everyone has a chance at love. There are still opportunities to start quality friendships/relationships. Acne scars are not the end of your dating life.

edit: and of course this is from 2008.

sorry, but that's crap from my experience.

Thank you for your assistance.

I think its important to not sugarcoat everything just because this is an acne forum.

Yes appearance is one of the most important factors, but other factors play a part too. How rich you are, how pleasant your personality is, how intelligent your are etc. Trust me, even if you are an Adonis, very few woman will want to date you if you don't even have two coins to rub together, or if you are too vain and self absorbed.

We are not alone in this situation. Obese people generally fall under the same category as us, and maybe balding people. These are generally considered unattractive traits. Yet you can regularly see these types of people, including people with acne/scarring, date other people and have a fulfilling marriage.

Yes we are disadvantaged by our acne scars, but that doesn't mean other factors cannot make up for it. Statistical evidence may support the fact that unattractive people are less likely to get married, but there is also empirical evidence showing that unattractive people CAN have fulfilling relationships too.

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i think what a lot of people seem to overlook in themselves is the confidence they lack. i know that before i ever had acne, i had confidenece in myself. I wasnt cocky, but i felt good about how i looked. i actually never really thought about how i looked, so when i went out it wasnt on my mind. i just acted like myself and had fun and made jokes and was outgoing. now that i have skin problems my attitude has completely changed. im insecure, im not really funny anymore, i want to draw attention to myself but not really... and i seem to always blame the fact that i never meet any girls on how i look and how bad my skin is, when really its just my attitude thats changed. most people probably wouldnt even notice our scars unless we pointed it out to them or even if they did notice they wouldnt even care. i would definitely date a girl with acne scars, in fact one of my ex girfriends had acne scars and it didnt bother me one bit... i think im actually even attracted to girls with acne scars now.. :) ... anyway, my point is.. i think most people who claim that they were more attractive to the opposite sex before they had acne scars should ask themselves if its really cuz of the scars or the subcontious change in attitude and personality...

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I've been dating my love for nearly two years. I've been told a billion times that I was beautiful when my skin was clear (mayhaps because I showed confidence?). I broke out soooooooo bad after my senior year (everyone was hoarding me with question on what I was going to do with my life causing enormous stress) and the aftermath was scarred skin. I cover half my cheek with my hair because of it; people would even compliment the way I style my hair, though I wish I had the gall to do an updo. Babbling aside, I never notice until then that my love had scars himself (mine are more, however. Both cheeks, one side more extensive than the other). He still claims that I'm extremely sexy and right back at him. I myself still get compliments because men are still attracted to anything female. He is not prone to that kind of detail (scars) as long as you make it look like you make effort to take care of yourself. A woman, unless she is internally ugly, focuses more on a man being interesting, confident, and can make her laugh. One thing that boys will low self-esteem do that is a turn off (I dated a guy with severe acne and scars), is get clingy. Know your self-worth before you get involved with anyone and be a bit of a challenge to keep them hooked. If someone is not interested in you when you are interested in them, good chance its not your looks, its your outlook: on the world and yourself.

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I've been dating my love for nearly two years. I've been told a billion times that I was beautiful when my skin was clear (mayhaps because I showed confidence?). I broke out soooooooo bad after my senior year (everyone was hoarding me with question on what I was going to do with my life causing enormous stress) and the aftermath was scarred skin. I cover half my cheek with my hair because of it; people would even compliment the way I style my hair, though I wish I had the gall to do an updo. Babbling aside, I never notice until then that my love had scars himself (mine are more, however. Both cheeks, one side more extensive than the other). He still claims that I'm extremely sexy and right back at him. I myself still get compliments because men are still attracted to anything female. He is not prone to that kind of detail (scars) as long as you make it look like you make effort to take care of yourself. A woman, unless she is internally ugly, focuses more on a man being interesting, confident, and can make her laugh. One thing that boys will low self-esteem do that is a turn off (I dated a guy with severe acne and scars), is get clingy. Know your self-worth before you get involved with anyone and be a bit of a challenge to keep them hooked. If someone is not interested in you when you are interested in them, good chance its not your looks, its your outlook: on the world and yourself.

Exactly...

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I'm currently dating a guy with acne scares and large pores, but that doesn't bother me. I didn't focus on these things until we started getting more serious.

Like what everyone else here is saying, it doesn't matter what type of acne you have or the scars, as long as you love yourself and don't dwell on your acne at least 60% of the time. I know I have acne and my boyfriend has breakouts from time to time (he also gets huge ones on his shoulders but those have subsided now since I gave him lotion), but they don't bother me. He tells me whenever he's got a huge pimple on his face and I just tell him I'd still love him if he got liver spots, burn scars, and the works because I know he's my baby and I love him!

I know he also feels the same way about me. In fact last summer I started breaking out more and had to forgo wearing makeup because of my condition. He had to see all my scars and darkmarks but they never stopped him from loving me. In fact, he intends to ask for my hand in marriage (he's an old-fashioned guy). So, yes, it really doesn't matter so as long as you love the person and are able to be yourself.

Take it easy everyone!

Paranoid1

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but that'd be kinda odd. walkin around..the scarred couple. ha. kinda funny

made me lol, just when i was feeling horrible.

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I'm currently dating a guy with acne scares and large pores, but that doesn't bother me. I didn't focus on these things until we started getting more serious.

Like what everyone else here is saying, it doesn't matter what type of acne you have or the scars, as long as you love yourself and don't dwell on your acne at least 60% of the time. I know I have acne and my boyfriend has breakouts from time to time (he also gets huge ones on his shoulders but those have subsided now since I gave him lotion), but they don't bother me. He tells me whenever he's got a huge pimple on his face and I just tell him I'd still love him if he got liver spots, burn scars, and the works because I know he's my baby and I love him!

I know he also feels the same way about me. In fact last summer I started breaking out more and had to forgo wearing makeup because of my condition. He had to see all my scars and darkmarks but they never stopped him from loving me. In fact, he intends to ask for my hand in marriage (he's an old-fashioned guy). So, yes, it really doesn't matter so as long as you love the person and are able to be yourself.

Take it easy everyone!

Paranoid1

:cry: beautiful

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I have acne and acne scars. I've never had bad acne, but I have psoriasis so it makes me prone to scarring. Some days it really kills me and makes me feel horrible. It seems like I keep getting more scarring out of nowhere when I really don't have anything on my face.

Girls still tell me I'm hot, but I can't even stand looking at myself in the mirror let alone a tinted car window.

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I have acne and acne scars. I've never had bad acne, but I have psoriasis so it makes me prone to scarring. Some days it really kills me and makes me feel horrible. It seems like I keep getting more scarring out of nowhere when I really don't have anything on my face.

Girls still tell me I'm hot, but I can't even stand looking at myself in the mirror let alone a tinted car window.

Im in the same boat, when im clear I sometimes even get called a pretty boy and many girls think im good looking. To me I will always look ugly but I have improved some of my scarring through needling which is a positive.

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I have mod to severe acne.. but the breakouts are become less and less! :) anywho i still deal with scarring just like everyone else. I do have scarring and I still get hit on! It doesn't matter how "bad" you think you look or how "good" it's all about how you carry yourself and how you see yourself. If your going to walk around and have a pity party because you believe your acne is the worst.. other people are going to identify your self esteem and other issues you show. However, if you are positive and not giving up on this battle with your acne, then others will see your confidence.

Overall what i'm trying to say is that yes it's possible to be in a relationship with acne scarring. I've been in relationships with acne scarring and it didnt bother the men I dated.

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