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I've just been sitting here trying to calculate my worth...1/2 of a person? 1/4? Maybe 1/3? I feel as if I'm incomplete. This will probably sound crazy to some people, but I look at babies and little kids, even pictures of myself before all of this and think that they (and my former self) are worth so much more than I am. I've even been looking at my cats thinking how much more whole they are than I am. I've got some self esteem issues, but how can I prevent myself from resolving to accept being a fraction, from resolving to just hope that I can "make my life as comfortable as possible in light of the circumstances." Can you believe that's what I've been telling myself?

Anyone else feel this way? Any suggestions as to how to fix this? And I think this has much more to do than skin...

And to maybe illustrate to what extent this has affected my life...I have been on winter break for the past 16 days...and every. single. day I have not left the house and barely even my room. I honestly wish that was an exaggeration. I have not bought clothes in more than a year and I wear basically the same thing to school every day. I have completely secluded myself from absolutely everything. And I'm 17! Other girls my age are out shopping, with friends. Me? I do school work. And more school work. And worry about my college applications. And watch endless hours of tv. As I type, my room has never been such a mess, but I used to be so meticulous about cleaning. Now, and I'm not kidding, there is stuff everywhere, it's such a disaster! And that's how I feel inside.

A few days ago, I cried for the first time in months, and I kept crying for about 2 hours and it made me feel better, but I just, I have no idea what to do. People at school would never guess. I smile and I laugh and I talk, but my appearance is completely neglected and my attitude is a complete facade.

The thing is, my skin isn't even that bad. If I were to just put makeup on properly, and wear something nice, I'd probably feel better. But I just can't make myself to do it. I think it is because I am so terrified that once I do those things, I'll still feel sub-human, worthless.

Okay, so after months of this...no probably more like a year of this, I'm finally admitting what I feel. I'm so tired of being in my room by myself. Something needs to change.

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I've been in your position-- or something similar (self-esteem issues, depression, and all).

There is no quick fix to this. You have to know what is bothering you. Or recognize it if you're in denial.

In my case, I became a total recluse for months, reading about things that were disturbing me (God, existence, philosophies), because I felt empty; I needed answers. Then I realized there is no one answer, that there are different truths. And that ended it-- somehow.

Sometimes it is just a matter of acknowledging things (you're place in the world, in life), and then you triumph over your anxieties.

Trying to measure your worth is futile. There is no universal standard for worth. The truth is no person is whole in the first place: we desire because we are incomplete. This isn't just you, it's everyone. Some decide to do retail therapy, learn new age spiritualities, look for love, or explore sexualities.

You decide for yourself. It is useful to remember that decisions do not come to you overnight.

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Well, someone once said "to be human is to think, feel and love"

Obviously, you do a great deal of thinking and feeling, so i would say you are 2/3 of the way there. All you need to do is find something to love! I know you are feeling this because you see how others act and you think this is the human norm, but it is not. You dont need to buy clothes and go out with friends all day to be normal. You just have to find what you love, and do it.

I dont know what to tell you more than that. You just need to leave your room and go find what you love. Whether it be boys, friends, or some hobby, i dont know.

And you are right, you are only worth as much as you think you are. But self worth changes for everyone, and its a lifelong journey. You need to find out who you are, and what you stand for before you can feel like a whole person.

But, go buy some new clothes, it might make you feel better, who knows?

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Okay, so after months of this...no probably more like a year of this, I'm finally admitting what I feel. I'm so tired of being in my room by myself. Something needs to change.

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This sounds to me like depression.

The good thing is that you have recognised it and want to do something about it which is the first step to recovery.

Please seek professional help and keep the positive thoughts going.

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you have to get outside. run, sweat, excercise. get some of the toxins out of you. increase blood flow throughout your body. if you dont, actually getting rid of the acne is going to be extremely hard.

also, instead of watching TV, just clean your room. clean rooms are always better. i get more stuff done and feel better in a clean room

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Thanks guys. This is going to be a struggle but I need to get out of this rut. Today I am going to clean my room and I'm also considering going to see a therapist for a couple sessions to give me a head start on my own discovery of my own truth as so_low has said.

Then I'm going to start taking walks in the evening...baby steps!

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Thanks guys. This is going to be a struggle but I need to get out of this rut. Today I am going to clean my room and I'm also considering going to see a therapist for a couple sessions to give me a head start on my own discovery of my own truth as so_low has said.

Then I'm going to start taking walks in the evening...baby steps!

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I have felt the exact same way before! Trying to assign some fraction of worth to myself because by heaven I wasn't a whole person. This idea mainly came out of the pressure for good looks that culture and others put on me. As in, I began to think of myself as less of a person because I was convinced that's how others saw me. See me. Still do. But I am content in knowing that whatever value they assign to me, I am complete within myself.

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