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julialalala

She's Gone...Forever :'( x 10000

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Ive just learned an awfull thing. My friend commited suicide. I cant belive it. Its the first time that someone i love and know dies. I waiting for someone to wake me up from this horrible dream. I want to go outside and call her. Maybe she would come back. I didnt talk to her for a long time since we go to different school and this year i have a lot of homework. She did to.

She never seemed sad. I just dont get it. She always wanted to have her own bedroom. Her parents and her finally moved this summer to a house. She even bought her self a cute little mouse.

She loved to draw and she had lots of tallent. She was this one kind girl. She didnt like boys, she didnt wear make up, she didnt care about fashion. She was beautifull in her own way.

She didnt have much friends. She didnt seem to care about it. In 6th grade, i went to talk to her. She was such a fun girl.

Im getting these flashbacks of the moments i spend with her. I miss her. I cant belive shes not breathing now. Just like that shes gone.

I didnt even go to her funerals. I didnt even know. Im gonna call her parents after x-mas. I never tought that this girl would commit a suicide. She never gave any sign when i was with her.

I remember in 6th grade, i was telling her that one day, she'll fall in love. She answered that that will never happen. She was right...

I hope that there is something after death, so i could see her again.

I was starting to feel better now that my acne is improving dramaticly (see gallerie). I cant stop crying.

I wish you all a wonderfull chrismas and a happy new year. Try to not think much about you acne, enjoy life and spend a lot of time with the ones you love because one day they might be gone.

xox

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That's so sad, especially before the holidays. I'm so sorry for your loss. I even had a few tears in my eyes reading your post. :( May your friend R.I.P and hopefully you'll see each other again one day. :comfort:

And yes, Merry Christmas and Happy New Years to all. May 2008 be a great year for all of us.

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Ive just learned an awfull thing. My friend commited suicide. I cant belive it. Its the first time that someone i love and know dies. I waiting for someone to wake me up from this horrible dream. I want to go outside and call her. Maybe she would come back. I didnt talk to her for a long time since we go to different school and this year i have a lot of homework. She did to.

She never seemed sad. I just dont get it. She always wanted to have her own bedroom. Her parents and her finally moved this summer to a house. She even bought her self a cute little mouse.

She loved to draw and she had lots of tallent. She was this one kind girl. She didnt like boys, she didnt wear make up, she didnt care about fashion. She was beautifull in her own way.

She didnt have much friends. She didnt seem to care about it. In 6th grade, i went to talk to her. She was such a fun girl.

Im getting these flashbacks of the moments i spend with her. I miss her. I cant belive shes not breathing now. Just like that shes gone.

I didnt even go to her funerals. I didnt even know. Im gonna call her parents after x-mas. I never tought that this girl would commit a suicide. She never gave any sign when i was with her.

I remember in 6th grade, i was telling her that one day, she'll fall in love. She answered that that will never happen. She was right...

I hope that there is something after death, so i could see her again.

I was starting to feel better now that my acne is improving dramaticly (see gallerie). I cant stop crying.

I wish you all a wonderfull chrismas and a happy new year. Try to not think much about you acne, enjoy life and spend a lot of time with the ones you love because one day they might be gone.

xox

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That's so hard to deal with on your own. Is there a counselor at your school you could talk to? Or maybe ask your parents to set up an appointment for you with a grief counselor?

Sometimes people give no outward signs of their inner turmoil. There is nothing you could have done to change the outcome. It's a crushing blow to you. I am so sorry you're experiencing this grief. :comfort:

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I'm so sorry for you...that should never happen...life can be beautiful but for some, that's not beautiful,

that's really sad

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Thanks for all your support.

I regret that i havent spend much time with her lately, because of my stupid acne, i didnt want to go out.

I cant stop thinking of her and crying...

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That's very sad. I'm sorry to hear it.

I wouldn't beat myself up for not going to her funeral. They are there to provide closure for the living. If you can find that closure on your own, that's ok too.

:comfort:

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I'm so sorry :(. May she rest in peace. I felt emotional when reading your post, she did seem like an amazing person and a good friend to be with.

=/, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and I best wishes to you and your friend's family.

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ive been threw the same

like 3 years ago my neighbor and best friend died the middle of the night due to a drug overdose

we used to always sneak out in the middle of the night to snort cocaine

eventually i saw the road I was heading down, and stopped. He got some new friends who moved into the neightborhood and started doing it with them.

at this point I had stopped for a year or so. One day he overdosed.

To this day I blame myself for his death, and always think i could of stopped it. It has haunted me.

RIP hommie, I'll catch you at the crossroads

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Oh god, I'm so sorry. I've lost two friends to suicide - both them in chaos that the holiday season brings. (one in early November a few years ago, one early Janurary last year). The shock that comes from learning a friend is dead becomes a tidal wave when you learn that they took their own life. When I found out Becky commited suicide, I started screaming. No words, just sounds being ripped from my throat.

And I then cried. For months. I still cry. It's okay to cry, it's okay to not be able to stop crying, no matter how long you cry.

Please know that for whatever pain they were in, it's eased now. Please know that there is nothing you could have done, her death is not on your hands. Please know that the questions, the anger, the bitterness, and the sadness - no matter how long it continues - is okay and normal to feel.

I couldn't make it the funeral, so what I did is I stopped in at a local cemetary. Sat under a large mausoleum, the kind with the angel carved over it. And I talked to Becky. By the time I left, I felt some kind of closure. Like Dee said, there are other ways to find closure.

Thank you for wishing us a good Christmas, and for reminding us to take care of ourselves and our loved ones. Please, please, please remember to do the same yourself and to keep talking about the grief, for as long as you need to.

That's what we're here for.

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You don't know what kind of shit could have been going on at her home. The film 'The Virgin Suicides' comes to mind.

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So sorry for your loss, that is so sad. Not being able to see her is one thing but not being able to see her forever is totally different. I have this twin friends back in asia who I grew up with, they're doing good and all but I keep on having dreams about them and everytime I do, I'm always crying in my dreams, dunno why. Guess I just miss them so.

Really sorry you lost your friend....

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sorrry about your los- i made an attempt at it, i got a lot of attention and help and skills at the behavioral health hospital, it was good there.

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Thank you, thank you so much for making this post. Your sharing of this story has given me the strength to combat my own self-destructive impulses. If you ever need to talk, then although we don't know each other, I'll listen; drop me a PM.

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Thank you, thank you so much for making this post. Your sharing of this story has given me the strength to combat my own self-destructive impulses. If you ever need to talk, then although we don't know each other, I'll listen; drop me a PM.
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I know what its like. In the past 3 years 3 friends of mine have died

in the summer of 2005 an old friend of mine crashed into a pole and died.

In mid 2006 i found out that someone who was a very close friend in middle school (went to different high schools and lost contact) got shot in New York and died, they never found out who did it.

Early this year one of my friends was dating this girl who secretly was married (he did'nt know), and NOT seperated ether. When the husbond found out he killed him.

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I've attempted suicide a few times (i'm 15), but never got away with it. AND, I don't look like the type of person to commit suicide. I guess.........i dunno. I'm sorry about your friend though. Just know that she probably feels a lot happier...

<3

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as someone who has struggled with suicide my entire life and other various self destructive behaviours i know that many people i don't talk to have zero clue as to whats going on hell in high school i was forbidden to mention it by my family even to my extended family (grandparents etc) as my parents told me if i said anything that would be it, my friends would leave etc. etc.

i kept it hidden far far too long which is probably why i'm so outspoken now, i really want to fight for people to feel that its okay to say when things are NOT alright, because it IS okay.

Don't think you're a bad friend, don't think of her as being in pain, she's not anymore. she's safe, she's okay. When i was little my friend who was like an older sister to me was brutally murdered. I consider her my guardian angel.

try writing a letter to your friend, say the things you meant to say but didn't have a chance to and then burn the letter, it is beleived in chinese tradition that by doing so you send the words up to heaven :)

i'm not chinese but i love that sentiment. Either way the writing will let you have some closure.

Also never feel guilty about taking a chance to "talk" to your friend either in your head or out loud on your own. She is still looking out for you and knows you didn't mean to pull away, i seriously think that people who pass on look down on us and know our hearts and know our love and never really go away.

it gets me through the day, i don't care what anyone says, i hope this helps you, it helps me. i've lost a lot of people, and many times i've come close to being lost myself but i keep going because i figure if i've come this far i have something still left to do in this world and i'm determined to do it.

Maybe this world was too much for her, i'm sorry she had to go but i'm happy that she is no longer in pain...maybe think of it that way? being angry is also valid but don't let it fester in your heart like i said write a letter. a LONG letter.

and i second talking to a grief counsellor. beleive me you may not think you'll need it now but this will hit you sooner or later and its better to deal with it when you can instead of years down the line

pm me if you ever need to talk. i'm always around, espeically for stuff like this. close to my heart.

I'm sending my love to you!

-Christina

p.s. if it helps i don't think anyone is gone forever i always have beleived that we will be with our loved ones again and that they never really need us and are always around if we stop and try to listen to hear them, if you love someone they never really leave your heart.

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thats rough...

guess its important to remember that its not how you see someone, its how they feel about themselves and their future.

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Thanks for all the support. I REALLY apreciate it. You guys are so nice.. Everyone is so mean these days..

I really cant stop thinking of her. Every second i think of her. I cant get it out of my head.. I keep talking to myself. Im like having a conversation with my mind. Its weird, i know..

I keep on asking myself why. I have so much questions to ask. I contacted this friend that knew the girl too and she told me that shes gonna tell me everything she know tomorrow. I dont have the courage to call her parents.

I feel like going back in time, put my hands around her and wisper to her that im there and that she dosent have to do this and that i can help her. I would hold her till she changes her mind.

I have sleep problems. They have gotten worst..

Now, i go to bed at 3:30 in the morning and i still cant sleep.

Before, i could fall quick asleep when i was really tired. Not anymore.

I keep on thinking about her. Its haunting me..

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Thanks for all the support. I REALLY apreciate it. You guys are so nice.. Everyone is so mean these days..

I really cant stop thinking of her. Every second i think of her. I cant get it out of my head.. I keep talking to myself. Im like having a conversation with my mind. Its weird, i know..

I keep on asking myself why. I have so much questions to ask. I contacted this friend that knew the girl too and she told me that shes gonna tell me everything she know tomorrow. I dont have the courage to call her parents.

I feel like going back in time, put my hands around her and wisper to her that im there and that she dosent have to do this and that i can help her. I would hold her till she changes her mind.

I have sleep problems. They have gotten worst..

Now, i go to bed at 3:30 in the morning and i still cant sleep.

Before, i could fall quick asleep when i was really tired. Not anymore.

I keep on thinking about her. Its haunting me..

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