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Hi

This isn't really acne related or at least not that much. It's a long story so It's rather difficult to make it short, but I'll try. I'm a person who really dislikes being alone. I'm not 100% self confident anyway, especially since I had acne. When I was together with my ex-girlfriend, I felt great though. 3 years ago, we split up. At the beginning I was sad of course, but I figured life goes on and I'll meet soon someone else. Well since then I've been single. I tried various things but my self-esteem got smaller and smaller during the years. Usually girls don't write back, already have a boyfriend or just don't like me obviously enough. For about a year now, I just don't enjoy life anymore. I just don't know why I live at all..I have absolutely NOTHING I'm hoping for or dreaming of..at least nothing which will come true. the way I feel now. Everyday I get up, live my f**** every day life and go to bed in the evening. I have almost zero self esteem anymore..I hardly can look at myself in the mirror because I jus't don't like the way I look and I'm sure nobody does otherwise I wouldn't be alone all the time. I also hate living at home with my parents but I just don't find anyone wanting to move together with me because all my friends are students as well and don't earn enough money. So I'm staying almost every night out. Lately I've been drinking and gambling a lot..I know it's bad and I shouldn't but why not..If I die early so what, I don't enjoy this life anyways. Yesterday though I went to a bar with a good friend of mine. We arrived quite drunk already and I saw a girl who was soo cute. My friend already has a girlfriend but as my wingman he started talking with the other girl this cute one was with in that bar, so I could talk with her alone. We had a great time, it was funny and just awesome. She wasn't drunk though and I really had to pay attention how I behaved. When they wanted to go home I asked for her number and since I wasn't really feeling well anymore, she saved her number by herself in my cell. Today I woke up and felt awesome! I waited until 3 o'clock in the afternoon and wrote her an SMS saying (sorry for the probably bad translation...) "Hey *** how are you? I'm so sorry, but yesterday I really wasn't in good shape when u saw me, I didn't expect to meet such an interesting and likeable girl such as you though. I would enjoy very much to see you again and really get to know you better." Well after an hour of waiting I thought that this doesn't mean much yet. After 2 hours I felt worse and feared she wouldn't answer at all. Well, now, 11 hours later at 2 in the morning I haven't received an answer.

I seriously have to tell you I'm very very close of ending this life. I just can't and don't want to take it anymore. I'm so sick of getting up and living this shit life. What is wrong with me..something must be for sure. Sometimes I think I suffer from depression (maybe because I take accutane?) and that's why I feel so bad. But I don't think so. If I wouldn't be so afraid of surviving a suicide attempt and maybe suffer even more after that, I wouldn't be living anymore. And I can't really talk with anyone about all my problems. I just can't talk about it and I don't wan't that my friends think of me as a psycho or a person who is depressed all the time and maybe don't want to meet me anymore.

If this life doesn't change soon, this will be probably one of my last postings at all...

good night

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Obviously it's really hard being alone but at least you're putting yourself out there. Try not to gamble (been there). Also, everyone says it but try taking up some hobbies to give yourself something to aim for. I love football and playing in two teams it really helps give me some purpose and enjoyment. Also there is nothing wrong with dreaming impossible dreams, everyday when I walk to lectures I put my ipod on and pretend I'm playing for Arsenal and on days before I'm playing football that I'm scoring for my team. Yeah I'm 21 and this is babyish but it still brings a smile to my face.

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Sorry to hear you're feeling that way mate, i feel very similiar at the minute, it's quite nice to actually hear someone else is feeling the same way as i am, even though i can testify it's one of the worst feelings i've ever experienced.

It would be hypocritical of me to tell you that drinking and gambling is not the answer, but i've been drinking everyday (morning and night, sometimes afternoon) just because i find my day easier to deal with, i haven't had a drink for a couple of days now since i've spent all my money, however i'm going to phone my bank and get them to increase my overdraft so i continue this habit, pathetic i know.

I think you just need to take a good look at your life right now, if you're working then try and save some money and see where you are in a few months, maybe you could go on holiday with your mates or buy something nice, or hell just keep saving, i've never saved a penny in my year and a half of work, but it's my new years resolution to manage my money better, i think it would make me happier so see my money going up every month as apposed to constantly at the end of my overdraft.

As far as that girls concerned, if she doesn't text you back it's not the end of the world, i've lost count the amount of times i've given my number to a girl and they've never bothered to contact me at all, i think the main reason for this is because i have been drunk and perhaps said some stupid things or seemed a bit weird, girls probably get sick of all the drunken attention they get off hundreds of guys a night. Judging by your text aswell you've given away too much too soon (this is a common mistake men make) best thing to do would of been to wait a couple of days, and then just simply ask how she was, don't tell her you like her immediately because you don't even know this girl, take your time and don't rush into things. Besides, girls like to keep men waiting, if she hasn't text back after a week i wouldn't even worry, sometimes i'll hear from a girl after 2 weeks even a month, by that time i've usually lost interest anywho so it's their loss.

Hope things pick up for you soon mate.

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You gotta focus on what you want to do before you die. If you start thinking like that then you will find reasons to live. Do something dangerous like extreme sports, or approach a bunch of strangers, or something else you normally wouldn't do. Soon you will find life is pretty cool when you live on the edge.

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Yeah gotta agree with necromancer, I remember last year when I was drunk i promised a friend I'd hitchhike to morocco with him for charity. I regretted it the next day but not when I went. Had an amazing time and got loads of cool stories to tell.

Think of something crazy and just do it.

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Thanks for your answers. It's not that I don't leave the house anymore or stuff like that. I go out actually EVERY night, because I don't like it at home. But I'm just a bit disappointed about many friends. I told my so called best friend yesterday that I felt really bad because of this girl, we talked a while about that but he will never ask again about that. I would act completely different if a friend of mine approached me with something like that. And also this weekend, I wrote SMS to some friends of mine about different stuff and didn't get an answer of almost no'one. I just feel like crap...someone they don't need. Especially together with the experience with this girl this weekend, I feel even more useless.

The "funny" thing is, most friends think of me as a happy guy. Last week a (female) friend of mine asked me the usual How are you? And then I just answered: If you want the small talk answer good, otherwise horrible. She was very astonished since she didn't know me like that. But I haven't heard anything anymore from here since then. This probably doesn't mean much, but I would definitely ask a friend of mine some days later if he told me this how he felt!

But that's good avice about how to handle such a girl...just write later and give away less how I'm feeling. But right now I feel so lonely it's absolutely horrible...it hurts every moment! And I know, I'm actually a very nice and funny guy but I just need to know people good enough to be that way. I'm just a bit shy if I don't know someone very well. Maybe I'm not the most beautiful guy or looking as grown up as other 23 year olds, but I'm not that bad! In one month, there will be a big ball in our town. I've always wanted to go there, even though I can't really dance. But I never can because I'm always single. A quite good (female) friend of mine is also single and some idiot I know asked her out to who she agreed of course. But why should I bother to try, she has actually 4 potential boyfriends so I have no chance as with any other girl. And since no one writes me back, I'm probably pretty fucked up..I don't know...

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Relationships are tricky creatures, like pets really, you give it to much attention and they become spoiled...Not enough, and hey-- they are dead! But back up to the point, DON'T even for a second, let your life be defined by another person! EVER! Your life can be so much more than that if you let it. Now you and your girl had a falling out, it happens love. It doesn't mean that it was a waste, don't regret it. It may not have been the happily-ever-after-frolicking-in-the-meadow-eating-chocolate-covered-cherries kinda thing you were hoping for but hey.. The brightside is relationships enrich our lives in all kinds of ways no matter how dreadful they may have actually been. If you fell for someone you shouldn't have ask yourself "What have I learned from this" etc. It takes much digging before you strike diamons my man, so keep your star hitched up high! You just gotta live through it long enough so that it happens...I'll stress that point... you have to LIVE through it. It hurts like hell and it may not shape up immediately, but look hard, there is a lesson and something enriching in pretty much everything we do...The things that make us individuals and really add meaning to our lives is the things we DO, it's not who we are with. It's also what creates a legacy for us. Who you may be with boils down to how long you are with them, then memories and then nothing. Please do not end your life over this because all of this, is just the tides, you know? Everything has its season. Yours will come. As far as how you feel about the way you look... Tell me what you've tried, maybe we can figure out something together :comfort: .

-Drew

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I love switzerland. Where are u from there?

Internet pornography pretty much saves me from feeling alone romantically. Its so much easier than relationships. Much better to have friends and get your kicks from masturbation, IMHO.

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I love switzerland. Where are u from there?

Internet pornography pretty much saves me from feeling alone romantically. Its so much easier than relationships. Much better to have friends and get your kicks from masturbation, IMHO.

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Guest jollajolla
Yeah gotta agree with necromancer, I remember last year when I was drunk i promised a friend I'd hitchhike to morocco with him for charity. I regretted it the next day but not when I went. Had an amazing time and got loads of cool stories to tell.

Think of something crazy and just do it.

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Thanks for all your replies. But today was another really bad day. I was going out with 3 friends of mine, another (male) student from university and 2 female friends...I always thought one of them was very cute. Well, apparently her ex boyfriend beat her sometimes up and still she got together with him again, after he betrayed her. One year ago he finally left her definitely. Now she has obviously 3 possible new boyfriends..well she's still single though. I thought we always had a great time together and maybeee I could be her next boyfrieend. But today while we were going out she met one of these 3 guys and I saw the look in her eyes.once again I'm no match for any other guy and I'll never be. Something must be wrong with me and I just don't wanna take it anymore. I want to show everybody how bad I feel and that they have no idea how fucked up my life is. This weekend when I can use the car of my parents, I'm finally going to end my life. This is it, I must change something and this is probably the best way to do it. Maybe I'm a good guy, but if no girl sees that I just don't want to live.

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never trust a beautiful woman dude, especially one interested in you.

stick to the average/less than average bunch like me, you cant go wrong! If they dump you, trust me, you won't be that bothered

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never trust a beautiful woman dude, especially one interested in you.

stick to the average/less than average bunch like me, you cant go wrong! If they dump you, trust me, you won't be that bothered

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Hey dude. I know what your feeling isnt easy to handle, but the problem is not that your "fucked up" im sure your friends like you for who you are, but the real problem could very well be in your head. Your thouughts and the way you jump to assumptions and/ or conclusions. A big one is how you describe a girl and her "possible boyfriends" .. come on dude. You gota stop thinking in that complicated manner, over analyzing can lead to negative thinking!

Just take it ez, and follow your dreams.........

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This weekend when I can use the car of my parents, I'm finally going to end my life. This is it, I must change something and this is probably the best way to do it. Maybe I'm a good guy, but if no girl sees that I just don't want to live.

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And I agree with Calibos, don't try for the hot/popular girls who have hordes of guys in their wake, try to meet up with other quieter, shyer, possibly less pretty girls.

I mean, I don't stand a chance with any really hot or popular girls, so I don't bother.

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never trust a beautiful woman dude, especially one interested in you.

stick to the average/less than average bunch like me, you cant go wrong! If they dump you, trust me, you won't be that bothered

guys... drinking isent the answer

smoke weed

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Firstly relationships aren't the only thing in life. Sure they're important but not the be all and end all.

Give it time, I recently started my first relationship for 4 years and believe me it's only been 3 weeks and it was worth the wait.

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You should just do what I plan to do and go live in a shack in the woods writing dissident literature and living off the land.

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