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PinkPhilosoFloyd

Forgetting how to communicate

I may be the only one, but since I've had acne for over 5 years now i have forgotten how to communicate successfully. I sort of mumble when i talk, i say stupid things, i dont have anything interesting to say, and i am definitely not funny anymore. I feel like i just sit there like an idiot when my "friends" are talking.

I am a freshman in college and i rarely talk to anyone in my dorm, i haven't met barely anyone, and i would rather sit and be alone then hang out with people. The parties i have gone to, i am usually really outgoing until people i dont know or "hot" girls are around i sit there and i am not even noticed. Sometimes it seems im the punch line to a lot of jokes.

I remember back home when i went to this party some kid gave me a beer bong and it was different then anything i had used so i asked him how to use it. The guy said, first you whipe some oil off your face and put it on the foam. Then you drink and try to forget how shitty of a life you have.

Ya, it ruined my week if not more. And no one really seems to understand. Of course im not going to be outgoing and talkative when i have scars\pimples all over my face. One "friend" of mine once said "your face makes me feel better about myself." Ya what a crock of S#@$. They don't know what its like. At least maybe some people here might understand.

I feel as if i don't really have any real friends anymore. I don't want to go out, i dont want to do anything per se, until my acne\scars are completely gone. Until then i will continue to be a hermit.

The only thing i am able to confide in is The Bible. And maybe hopefully one day the living word of God. But for now, i sit in my dorm room, skipping classes, about to drop out, and ponder about my bleak future.

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Not really due to acne, but a culmination of causes, I became very withdrawn as a teenager. I'm generally an introverted person and prone to shyness, but it was at its worse as a teen. I went through a period where I felt completely inept at communicating. I felt so anxious about it that my anxiety would just confirm my fears & I'd end up blundering through every social interaction.

It really just takes practice...you have to put yourself out there & remember that everyone says & does stupid things. Just laugh it off & give the impression you are above being embarrassed. Study other people & you'll realize they are not not that interesting or clever either. Don't hold yourself to such high standards. You have something to offer other people and you are more than your skin. Your acne does not define you as a person. There are plenty of ugly people in the world who are happy and loved; not saying you're ugly, but the point is your looks do not have to be a determining factor in how your life pans out.

Find things you enjoy & do them even if you're alone. I love music, and I would just go to a concert alone. I'd end up meeting people & they'd talk to me. I had no pressure, because I did not have to see them again. People think you have guts when you just do what you want & don't need someone else to hold your hand through it. Also, developing your own interests makes you interesting & gives you things to talk about that you are genuinely excited about.

In conversation, some key elements are listening and asking questions. Ask a question, let them answer and then follow with your own story to relate to them, and then ask another question. People are easily flattered when you act interested in them & their thoughts. You do have to make effort though, and it can be hard, but the more you try the easier it will get. It's a slow process, but you will get results eventually.

When people insult you, don't brush it off & don't insult them back; ask them why they would say something like that and why they feel the need to insult others. Look them right in the eye and more than likely they will get ashamed. Or just walk away. You don't need to subject yourself to that.

Get your mind off the idea that the "popular" people and the "hot" girls are the crowd to be with. Open up your own mind to different kinds of people. You will find people you click with and who appreciate you for who you are.

And keep your faith and keep praying and pour your heart out. At the very least you'll feel some relief from your thoughts.

Hope that helps some :comfort:

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Hmmm, acne made me a wee bit self conscious, but I can't forgot how to communicate, I'm in a communications class as a freshman in uni. Oh boy, it's fun.

Honestly, it's not too bad, besides the fact that I have to watch myself and do an evaluation after I give speeches. Oh what fun.

But yeah, put yourself out there, meet people at places where you probably won't see them again. Try making eye contact.

Another good idea is to listen to how others communicate. You will be surprised at how much trouble others have. Some people have more vocalized pauses than words.

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I remember back home when i went to this party some kid gave me a beer bong and it was different then anything i had used so i asked him how to use it. The guy said, first you whipe some oil off your face and put it on the foam. Then you drink and try to forget how shitty of a life you have.

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I've been thinking about this alot lately too. I'm starting to believe that I'm the most boring person out of my group of friends. Most of the time when we're just hanging out playing video games or whatever, I'm easily the quietest person, simply because I have no clue what to say that could be considered even remotely interesting.

Meeting new people is always brutal too, especially women. Those that aren't scared away by my looks will quickly realize how boring I am by trying to talk to me for 5 minutes and come to the conclusion that I have nothing interesting to say.

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Guest jollajolla

well, i haven't ever had a problem talking with adults only people my age. besides my friends i don't really make any attempts to branch out... feeble...

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Hey. i started having acne since i was 12 as i can remember, obviously it only started little and after a while it got really bad, more like in a years time, i just tried all the shit on the market, creams, oils, beauty products, never worked, anyways, as i got older i started thinking more about my looks and thinking of girlfriends, and then started realising acne isnt good at all, it makes u feel down, it ruined my life to be honest, it makes u not want to go out, to see friends, and what made it worse was people who didnt realise what it was like, people who felt insecure about themselves and thried to pick on others to make themselves feel better or happier, anyways, as i got older about 15/16 i didnt have any confidence, my acne was quite bad, i would say moderate, bad red blobs, black heads, white heads, im lucky i never had it bad on my cheeks as allot of people do, i had it really bad on the left and right side of my neck, just underneath my jaw line and on both sides of my temples. on my jaw line it was quite bad though, i went to a skin specialist and he put me on roacutane, i think i was on it for 6 months, it changed my life completely. and as to having a bit more confidence, i remember the day that i actually realised my spots were gone, i obviously still had and have scars, but that was the best day of my life ( sad i know ) i think my acne cleared up when i was 17/18, after that i could realise my scars were fading a bit, and inbetween all of this, i was a really quiet person, i mumbled when i talked, my dad always told me not to mubmle, but i guess that was just part of the confidence issue, i think what worked best was i reallised as i got older that people will always judge you on what you look like, every one does, but once as that person gets to know u, they realise your just a normal human being, and thats what feels good, thats what made me realise that i know i have acne scars, or have acne, but im still a person, and who gives a F*&^ what you look like, at the end of the day, some one that will see your face and say something about it, or do something horrible, doesnt matter if its a day or week, or year, but u wont ever see that person again, you can erase them from your mind, just keep telling yourself that you dont care what people think, soon you wont even need to tell yourself that, you will automatically do it. i started going gym when i was 18, to try and improve my looks. and to be honest, i think that was the next best thing for me than roacutane, it really helped, it gave me a boost of confidence.i am 20 now and still have my scars from acne, but i can tell you that i still do think of it sometimes, but i dont let it control my life, or let it get me down, or let it stop me talking to someone, i use to do this aswell, blame everything on my acne, when i had no girlfriend, blame the acne, i still had friends, but not many, i mean yea i would have loved to have more but then i blamed it on acne.just tell yourself that you dont care what people think. find ways to boost your confidence,dont have to have something to do with your face, or body.hope this helps a bit. if anything i would say that acne made me a better person in life, it made me apreciate what i have and to build on what i have.some people arnt that lucky.

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Thanks for the reply's guys. Ya i really need to work on thinking "who gives a F*&$" when it comes to people judging me. Regardless of whats wrong with you people will find a reason not to like you. I just have a hard time realizing it at times. Ya i do feel like the quiet one in my group, and it is really upsetting at times, but f it. In the end it doesn't even matter.

Im going to work on my communication, as for the gym, i used to go, i used to be in good shape and even with acne i think i looked alright. But i just cant stand it when it seems like everyone is staring at you becuz your acne.

One day everything will be good, and i know my time is coming, its just really hard for me at the moment. Thanks for the support .org

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I may be the only one, but since I've had acne for over 5 years now i have forgotten how to communicate successfully. I sort of mumble when i talk, i say stupid things, i dont have anything interesting to say, and i am definitely not funny anymore. I feel like i just sit there like an idiot when my "friends" are talking.

I am a freshman in college and i rarely talk to anyone in my dorm, i haven't met barely anyone, and i would rather sit and be alone then hang out with people. The parties i have gone to, i am usually really outgoing until people i dont know or "hot" girls are around i sit there and i am not even noticed. Sometimes it seems im the punch line to a lot of jokes.

I remember back home when i went to this party some kid gave me a beer bong and it was different then anything i had used so i asked him how to use it. The guy said, first you whipe some oil off your face and put it on the foam. Then you drink and try to forget how shitty of a life you have.

Ya, it ruined my week if not more. And no one really seems to understand. Of course im not going to be outgoing and talkative when i have scars\pimples all over my face. One "friend" of mine once said "your face makes me feel better about myself." Ya what a crock of S#@$. They don't know what its like. At least maybe some people here might understand.

I feel as if i don't really have any real friends anymore. I don't want to go out, i dont want to do anything per se, until my acne\scars are completely gone. Until then i will continue to be a hermit.

The only thing i am able to confide in is The Bible. And maybe hopefully one day the living word of God. But for now, i sit in my dorm room, skipping classes, about to drop out, and ponder about my bleak future.

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absolutely.

acne turned me into an extreme social recluse to the point where i seriously don't know how to talk to people when forced (work situations). i've always been shy by nature but acne only further decreased my self-esteem.

there was a period when my skin was very clear and dare i say, i looked GOOD and people treat me so much more differently compared to how they do now with a red face full of acne and redmarks/scars.

i can't look people in the eye when talking with them because i can feel them examining my face with their eyes. i seriously wish i had an inadvisability cloak at times...

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I may be the only one, but since I've had acne for over 5 years now i have forgotten how to communicate successfully. I sort of mumble when i talk, i say stupid things, i dont have anything interesting to say, and i am definitely not funny anymore. I feel like i just sit there like an idiot when my "friends" are talking.

I am a freshman in college and i rarely talk to anyone in my dorm, i haven't met barely anyone, and i would rather sit and be alone then hang out with people. The parties i have gone to, i am usually really outgoing until people i dont know or "hot" girls are around i sit there and i am not even noticed. Sometimes it seems im the punch line to a lot of jokes.

I remember back home when i went to this party some kid gave me a beer bong and it was different then anything i had used so i asked him how to use it. The guy said, first you whipe some oil off your face and put it on the foam. Then you drink and try to forget how shitty of a life you have.

Ya, it ruined my week if not more. And no one really seems to understand. Of course im not going to be outgoing and talkative when i have scars\pimples all over my face. One "friend" of mine once said "your face makes me feel better about myself." Ya what a crock of S#@$. They don't know what its like. At least maybe some people here might understand.

I feel as if i don't really have any real friends anymore. I don't want to go out, i dont want to do anything per se, until my acne\scars are completely gone. Until then i will continue to be a hermit.

The only thing i am able to confide in is The Bible. And maybe hopefully one day the living word of God. But for now, i sit in my dorm room, skipping classes, about to drop out, and ponder about my bleak future.

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I bet he got those responses only after trying to convert half the people at the party he was at first.

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i can totally relate to what you saying... i went through pretty much the same experience as you for the last two years at uni... im in my thrid year now and ive finally rid myself of t

acne for quite a while now but still im having trouble getting back comunicating and looking people in the face again. its a slow process but i think im getting there... real SLOWLY. all i can say is keep your faith in god and whatever else gives you any strenght to continue and try out different treatments. good luck

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Oh come on now. All your posts? If I wanted to leave smartass comments to all your posts I'd have to spend my entire day on this site just to keep up with you.

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Frankly, the world is full of people that are going to bring you down.

Don't be one of those people.

If you're always negative about yourself, you never get anywhere. I know it's not always easy, but you've got to take on life confidently. And for a while, you have to PRETEND to be confident. Eventually, you'll find people who really are good friends, and once you're surrounded by the right type of people, it gets easier to honestly be confident and happy.

Don't let skin bring you down.

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I was the same way, mumbling most of the time. But then I got a job in a call center... talking for 8 hours every day for 3 1/2 years. At first I would talk so low, and mixed up sentences....... until callers got upset....

you have to think of the sentence before hand.. plan ahead. its okay to be quiet a little... but force it out confidently. the key is to make up the sentence up in your head.. before opening your mouth. Well thats a professional point of view.

talking to friends I just say fuck or fucking alot.. and just spew out words.. they dont care they do the same.

I also kept myself hidden for 9 years... now im kinda starting to open up because of this one woman who im seeing. But its hard. I cant change the way I am...

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It's not that I've forgotten how to communicate, persay, it's just that I've found I need to communicate in different ways than I used to. The vocabulary switch alone can be exhasting. Over the years, I'm trying to learn how to be more clear, more concise, how to talk about subjects that don't creep people out. It's difficult and sometimes it really knocks my self-esteem down when I find I'm having trouble talking to normal people "in thier language", but it's well worth learning. Something that someone said to me once made a lot of sense and has really helped me find the strength to keep learning. "Teressa, if you want what normal people have, i.e a normal life, than you have to be willing to do what normal people are doing."

That gives me the strength to keep trying.

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I'm not sure whether it's the content or the horrid design of that site that leads me to believe its creators are on various drugs.

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