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Rob*

Does Anyone Else Feel That No One Could Ever Really Love Them Because of Their ACNE SCARS.

Because thats how i feel. Im sorry that this post is negative, but i think i gotta get this out.

I truly believe deep down that no woman could ever truly be physically actracted to me, because of my acne scarring. I could understand having minor scars here and there, but mine are BIG and VERY noticable. I have a really big scar on my cheek that i think turns girls off. I believe that without most of the scarring that i am a very good looking guy. Even above average looking (maybe a 7 or 8 /10). But i think that girls who initially like me from a distance, are turned off when they get in close, or get in a dimly lit area, where they notice my scarring. I think i could have a LOT of success with women, if i could somehow get rid of the big and noticable ones. I really dont mind the smaller ones. I just think the bigger ones just turn these girls off. They are just way to noticable. Some nights, when i look in the mirror, i just think to myself, How could any woman truly love me?

This is so frustrating for me. I have really tried hard the last couple months to get a girlfriend. Nothing seems to be working. And when i get rejected by the girls, it is really hard for me to believe that my noticable facial scarring had no influence on their decision.

I just had a date with a girl that i met a couple weeks ago at the bar/club. IN the club, they seem to show more interest in me. And my guess is that its because its tougher to see my scarring. And then when i met her in the daylight, i could tell that she was shocked at how much different i look.

UGgh, this is so frustrating having to live with these scars. It kills me. I am so self conscious of them. They are what make me fearful of having to meet new people.

Sorry that this post was very negative. It is just how i feel. And i feel a lot better now that i have typed it all out.

I've come to the conclusion that i MUST have something done about a couple of these noticable scars. I CANNOT go on living my life with these. It would break my heart if i had to live like this forever.

I have decided that i will call my dermatologist this week, and book a consultation with him to get collagen injections into these scars that cause me the most psychological trauma. Then i will see how this improves my love life. The collagen injections are done as a means of seeing whether a more permanent filler (Artecoll) can be used for my scarring. I hope this will work.

But does anyone else feel that their noticable scars is holding them back in their love life?

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You know, I just want to say that, from a girl's perspective...I think you are putting way too much emphasis on your scars. Most of the time I don't even notice scarring on men, because men are already kind of rugged and aren't supposed to be perfect. The only time I notice it is if it is extremely severe, and even then personality is more important. And it will make you attractive.

Physical attraction occurs on many levels. Only a very small part of physical attraction is based on your physical features. This is why, for example, you get married young and as you get older you both gain weight, get wrinkles etc...but you still find each other extremely sexy. I continue to use Seal as an example...he has an extremely scarred face but obviously his wife Heidi Klum finds him extremely attractive. And she is beautiful! I'm sure he had the same concerns as you...but perhaps he was able to find love like that because he accepted and loved himself, and didn't let his scars get in the way. Once you love yourself, you can attract love.

My hunch is that your scars do affect your confidence, on a subconscious level at least even if you try hard to not let it, and that this comes through. And perhaps this is what leads to you not being able to find a girlfriend. If you can get to a point where you accept yourself, and when you meet a girl you just go "ok this is me, I like me and you can take it or leave it, but I'm happy with me and I have a lot to offer you"...I bet you will have better luck. If you value yourself enough and truly believe you have a lot more to offer someone else, someone wonderful will see that. You are much more than your skin. Just keep trying. I do applaud you for getting out there and continuing to try. Good for you!

And no....I don't think mine hold me back. I mean, I'm self conscious about them, sure. But I also know that I am a great person and I have SO much to offer someone. And I seem to have no problems attracting men, because I think my happiness shines through despite what my face looks like. Inner happiness and confidence can make ANYONE attractive and sexy.

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alright but to be fair I'm a completely heterosexual male and I want to jump Seals bones. He's an amazing singer, he's incredibly in shape, he beat lupus (which is remarkable), HES ON THE SPACEJAM SOUNDTRACK FOR GODS SAKE. But in principle I agree with what you're saying completely ..... and I swear I'm not gay lol

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I agree with everything she said. There will be a great girl that will see you and not just your skin issues. Besides, you wouldn't want to be with someone so shallow that they only see acne and go the other way would you? Even if I had flawless skin I wouldn't be or be with someone that shallow. When I was a teenager I had clear unscarred skin, and I dated a guy that had severe acne scarring. It didn't bother me at all, we did end up breaking up (grew apart after 3.5 year relationship..) but it had nothing to do with acne. You sound confident in the rest of your appearance. A few scars, even noticable ones, won't change your overall appearance that much. I have just gotten acne in the last 4 or 5 years and now I have lots of scarring. I have a great boyfriend that acts like he doesn't notice at all. (We got together before my skin got really bad.) But even saying that, it is extremely hard for me to meet friends and be myself. I feel extremely self conscious all the time. But in the last few months my outlook on things has gotten better, and I try to follow my own advice. If they can't see past a few scars then I don't need them in my life anyway. However, girls do like a guy with confidence. A girl may not notice your scars that much but be turned off by low self-esteem. I think that if you try to look past your own flaws and just be yourself and be happy, you will find someone truly wonderful. Best of Luck to you!! ;)

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Yes, we all feel that way and sometimes we will keep feeling that way even when somebody does love us! Because no one is harder on us than ourselves.

But you're talking about two different things. Love, and sexual attraction. Sometimes, for some people, sexual attraction is only skin deep. And yes, some shallow young women might go for a guy with smooth skin instead of you. I know this hurts right now. But they aren't looking for love, they're looking for some idea of physical perfection that will make them feel part of a Hollywood ideal couple. Is this the kind of woman you want? Maybe to get laid over the weekend, but for a long term relationship that is going to enrich both your lives and feed your souls?

I've had terrible scars for years, and I'm a woman --it's worse, socially, to have them as a woman, believe me. Nevertheless, men have been attracted to me -- very -- because I have a very strong presence and intelligence and sex appeal that goes beyond my skin. Not to sound haughty or anything, I'm just saying, real attraction comes from what's behind your eyes, not what's on your face.

Personally, I see a thousand people a day with perfect skin, lot's of "hotties" out there, and they don't interest me at all because they don't seem like particularly interesting people! I might like to look at them, but I'm not interested in having a relationship with them.

Our scars are incredible teachers. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to get rid of them, you should, but you need to sit down and take a deep breath and meditate for a while on accepting yourself as you are, right now. You need to love yourself first, before anyone else can love you. Stop torturing yourself. I have to do this nearly every day because the tendency to torture ourselves over not being magazine-cover perfect is too strong.

Keep yourself healthy, keep your body fit, and your teeth clean and white, and your breath fresh and body smelling nice and your hair clean, (in other words, keep the rest of your presence as pleasant and attractive as possible) and develop your inner qualities so you can present yourself as a strong, confident, intelligent man and you will find a woman who won't care about your scars. I promise.

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Keep yourself healthy, keep your body fit, and your teeth clean and white, and your breath fresh and body smelling nice and your hair clean, (in other words, keep the rest of your presence as pleasant and attractive as possible) and develop your inner qualities so you can present yourself as a strong, confident, intelligent man and you will find a woman who won't care about your scars. I promise.

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I agree 100% , in a perverse kind of way, I appreciate how scars have FORCED me to improve other aspects of my life. I now dress better then the man to the left of me, dance better then the man to the right of me in the club, smell better with the help of cologne. Its encouraged me to work out and keep in shape, all these things I never used to do with with just the moderate acne problem (which didnt bother me that much) I am at war with my acne scars secretly but I realise it is much more important to just go out there and do stuff at the same time. Dwelling on scars paralyses your development, I could barely talk 3 months ago I focused on my scars so much, I almost became a mute. You need to find a balance between improvement of the scars with treatments as well as improving your other development areas.

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i know 100% it's true, you'll find someone who doesn't care about the scars. i know tons of people (of course, 100% clear). of course when i'm not around, they probably talk about it. it's called gossip, and when's the last time you heard important gossip. anyway, as soon as you hang out w/ them, you make them forget it, using your personality and wit, and charm, if you have it. then it's not even an issue. actually now that i'm older, i tell my friends about my skin problems. they don't talk shit or anything. they ask questions. which is much better, cuz you're opening their eyes and changing the world one person at a time.

but you get these mental setbacks. like the other day, i was folding my nice clothes, storing them. i tried on the larger sizes to see if they still fit, and i looked in the mirror and i was like DAM. what's the point of wearing nice clothes w/ a face like this. HA! that's not funny, it's frickin bullcrap. but, what can ya do; can't blame someone for a moment of weakness. you gotta make best of the hand you were dealt.

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