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bella316

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Hi!

I have been really inspired by different things I've read about the diet + acne link, and lately I have been avoiding dairy completely, and trying to avoid sweets/wheat as much as possible. So far, I have to be honest, I haven't seen great results. My skin seems less red and irritated, but I'm still breaking out. I'm trying to give it more time.

But, this diet is VERY hard to follow while also having a social life. My boyfriend is a drinker, and I hate not being able to drink with him. When I go out to eat with friends, they are puzzled why I'm ordering a salad and no dessert, and I also feel left out that I can't indulge with them.

How do people on strict diets deal with socializing that involved eating/drinking? I don't really feel comfortable admitting that I'm following a diet for my skin, I am so embarrassed by my acne. But I don't want to feel like a freak when I'm out dining/drinking :confused: Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks!

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Honestly, there's no real way around this. If you're going to be eating differently than everyone else, people might think you are a little weird. It's just something you're going to have to deal with if you want to treat your acne this way. There's always topicals and drugs if you don't want to have to deal with this kind of peer pressure, but for me at least, it's definitely worth it.

One tip though, you don't have to tell people that you're eating differently for your skin. Just tell them you like to eat healthy food, or you're on a diet, or any other more socially acceptable answer of your choice. I often tell people I have food allergies which is actually almost true and that's why I don't eat certain foods.

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When it gets to the point that socialization becomes difficult -- even if you're seeing great results -- to me, that says that the acne is still winning.

If there's no point at which you can "deal with it" that's an unhealthy obsession.

I say this as a vegetarian who knows what it's like to have to pick from one of three things on the menu every time. But, I don't see veganism as a practical solution for my life right now, so I don't do it.

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When it gets to the point that socialization becomes difficult -- even if you're seeing great results -- to me, that says that the acne is still winning.

If there's no point at which you can "deal with it" that's an unhealthy obsession.

I say this as a vegetarian who knows what it's like to have to pick from one of three things on the menu every time. But, I don't see veganism as a practical solution for my life right now, so I don't do it.

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Yeah, this is all good advice. The other day I was out with a friend and she asked if I wanted to split some cheese fries. I was like, "errr, I don't eat dairy." She asked if I was lactose intolerant? No. Do I have IBS? No.

I just didn't know what to say. :redface:

But I would like to treat this internally and I think especially if I start seeing results, eating like a weird person won't bug me as much, because I'll just be content that I don't have spots all over my face.

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Yeah, this is all good advice. The other day I was out with a friend and she asked if I wanted to split some cheese fries. I was like, "errr, I don't eat dairy." She asked if I was lactose intolerant? No. Do I have IBS? No.

I just didn't know what to say. :redface:

But I would like to treat this internally and I think especially if I start seeing results, eating like a weird person won't bug me as much, because I'll just be content that I don't have spots all over my face.

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How do people on strict diets deal with socializing that involved eating/drinking?

I can't see the problem because I don't see how eating different foods is less socializing.

For example even people who eat junk food when going at the restaurant, they don't order the same dish. Usually each person order a different dish. And yet eating together is still an act of socialization. So really I can't see the difference between your friends drinking a beer and you drinking a tea and your friends having a dessert and you a fruit salad. There's no difference at all and you should tell them cause the concept that it is inherently different and less socializing than one friend drinking a beer and the other a vodka and one eating a dessert and the other an ice cream is just absurd.

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It's important to just be confident about who you are and your choices. If you don't make a big deal out of it, then hopefully they won't either. Also, what you chose to eat is your business - it's not necessary to explain yourself to others. I occasionally get comments about why I'm not eating such and such, but I just smile and say "I'm fine," or "It looks great, but I ate earlier," or "I'm not very hungry," or "I'm actually pretty full," or sometimes, depending on the situation, I might smile and reveal that I'm a health nut, or maybe I'll just eat a "small" amount of the "offending food," haha. These are responses I'll take with people I don't know very well, but all of my good friends know that I'm a healty eater, so I don't have to explain anything to them, and I make allowances now and then anyway. As long as I eat healthfully at the house, I'm fine with occasionally eating some less than excellent choices when I'm out with friends (and again, I might just eat a small amount). If people react oddly, just smile and keep doing what you're doing. :)

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How do people on strict diets deal with socializing that involved eating/drinking?

I can't see the problem because I don't see how eating different foods is less socializing.

For example even people who eat junk food when going at the restaurant, they don't order the same dish. Usually each person order a different dish. And yet eating together is still an act of socialization. So really I can't see the difference between your friends drinking a beer and you drinking a tea and your friends having a dessert and you a fruit salad. There's no difference at all and you should tell them cause the concept that it is inherently different and less socializing than one friend drinking a beer and the other a vodka and one eating a dessert and the other an ice cream is just absurd.

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How do people on strict diets deal with socializing that involved eating/drinking?

I can't see the problem because I don't see how eating different foods is less socializing.

For example even people who eat junk food when going at the restaurant, they don't order the same dish. Usually each person order a different dish. And yet eating together is still an act of socialization. So really I can't see the difference between your friends drinking a beer and you drinking a tea and your friends having a dessert and you a fruit salad. There's no difference at all and you should tell them cause the concept that it is inherently different and less socializing than one friend drinking a beer and the other a vodka and one eating a dessert and the other an ice cream is just absurd.

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I just tell people that I'm trying to get in shape and most people respect that since it's something they wish they could also do but just dont have the will power to do it.

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How do people on strict diets deal with socializing that involved eating/drinking?

I can't see the problem because I don't see how eating different foods is less socializing.

For example even people who eat junk food when going at the restaurant, they don't order the same dish. Usually each person order a different dish. And yet eating together is still an act of socialization. So really I can't see the difference between your friends drinking a beer and you drinking a tea and your friends having a dessert and you a fruit salad. There's no difference at all and you should tell them cause the concept that it is inherently different and less socializing than one friend drinking a beer and the other a vodka and one eating a dessert and the other an ice cream is just absurd.

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How do people on strict diets deal with socializing that involved eating/drinking?

I can't see the problem because I don't see how eating different foods is less socializing.

For example even people who eat junk food when going at the restaurant, they don't order the same dish. Usually each person order a different dish. And yet eating together is still an act of socialization. So really I can't see the difference between your friends drinking a beer and you drinking a tea and your friends having a dessert and you a fruit salad. There's no difference at all and you should tell them cause the concept that it is inherently different and less socializing than one friend drinking a beer and the other a vodka and one eating a dessert and the other an ice cream is just absurd.

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How do people on strict diets deal with socializing that involved eating/drinking?

I can't see the problem because I don't see how eating different foods is less socializing.

For example even people who eat junk food when going at the restaurant, they don't order the same dish. Usually each person order a different dish. And yet eating together is still an act of socialization. So really I can't see the difference between your friends drinking a beer and you drinking a tea and your friends having a dessert and you a fruit salad. There's no difference at all and you should tell them cause the concept that it is inherently different and less socializing than one friend drinking a beer and the other a vodka and one eating a dessert and the other an ice cream is just absurd.

You clearly are not in the same situation as most american teenagers-30 year olds. Most places that this age group goes to do not offer healthy alternatives. When you don't drink beer, it automatically puts you out of social contact with many people. You can't go to a house party, especially in the college age, and not drink. You can, but you look like a douchebag, and everybody treats you so, unless you have a good reason (allergy, or something else, but even that puts you into a different light).

Really what you have to do is just find social circles that are not based around drinking, and eating shitty. Join clubs, or sports, or other things where you can still socialize, but are not expected to drink, or eat shit.

I

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How do people on strict diets deal with socializing that involved eating/drinking?

I can't see the problem because I don't see how eating different foods is less socializing.

For example even people who eat junk food when going at the restaurant, they don't order the same dish. Usually each person order a different dish. And yet eating together is still an act of socialization. So really I can't see the difference between your friends drinking a beer and you drinking a tea and your friends having a dessert and you a fruit salad. There's no difference at all and you should tell them cause the concept that it is inherently different and less socializing than one friend drinking a beer and the other a vodka and one eating a dessert and the other an ice cream is just absurd.

You clearly are not in the same situation as most american teenagers-30 year olds. Most places that this age group goes to do not offer healthy alternatives. When you don't drink beer, it automatically puts you out of social contact with many people. You can't go to a house party, especially in the college age, and not drink. You can, but you look like a douchebag, and everybody treats you so, unless you have a good reason (allergy, or something else, but even that puts you into a different light).

Really what you have to do is just find social circles that are not based around drinking, and eating shitty. Join clubs, or sports, or other things where you can still socialize, but are not expected to drink, or eat shit.

I

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How do people on strict diets deal with socializing that involved eating/drinking?

I can't see the problem because I don't see how eating different foods is less socializing.

For example even people who eat junk food when going at the restaurant, they don't order the same dish. Usually each person order a different dish. And yet eating together is still an act of socialization. So really I can't see the difference between your friends drinking a beer and you drinking a tea and your friends having a dessert and you a fruit salad. There's no difference at all and you should tell them cause the concept that it is inherently different and less socializing than one friend drinking a beer and the other a vodka and one eating a dessert and the other an ice cream is just absurd.

You clearly are not in the same situation as most american teenagers-30 year olds. Most places that this age group goes to do not offer healthy alternatives. When you don't drink beer, it automatically puts you out of social contact with many people. You can't go to a house party, especially in the college age, and not drink. You can, but you look like a douchebag, and everybody treats you so, unless you have a good reason (allergy, or something else, but even that puts you into a different light).

Really what you have to do is just find social circles that are not based around drinking, and eating shitty. Join clubs, or sports, or other things where you can still socialize, but are not expected to drink, or eat shit.

I

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I can't see the problem because I don't see how eating different foods is less socializing.

For example even people who eat junk food when going at the restaurant, they don't order the same dish. Usually each person order a different dish. And yet eating together is still an act of socialization. So really I can't see the difference between your friends drinking a beer and you drinking a tea and your friends having a dessert and you a fruit salad. There's no difference at all and you should tell them cause the concept that it is inherently different and less socializing than one friend drinking a beer and the other a vodka and one eating a dessert and the other an ice cream is just absurd.

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I agree with Samariah and Acne Be Gone Fairy.

It's all a matter of confidence.

If you have low confidence (and that could be the case even if you're not aware of that) you'll not only feel unconfortable in situations where you've to affirm yourself instead of conform but you'll also attract criticism and weird-stares.

I have said this before.

Two people may do exactly the same "weird" thing.

But the one who do it with qualm will become the target of scorn and harassment.

The one who do it with confidence will be not alone respected but will also attract curiosity.

The only reason why it is easy for me to have an health lifestyle while being social is that I've never accepted scorn, judgment and harassment and whatever I do, I do with the confidence that I believe in my choice and that I will never allow anyone to bother me even sightly for my choices.

It's not what you do but the way you do it.

It's not what you say but the way you say it.

One girl is dieting. She goes out with a bunch of friends and relatives and before ordering without confidence and anticipating bad reactions states in a shy way always looking for approval:

"I'm on diet ... because ... well I think ... I might be a bit chubby ... but ... well maybe you think I'm crazy ... but ... no no ... I won't order caloric stuff tonight ... and ... do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

The replies are:

"you're crazy ... you always have the most ridicolous ideas ... can't you see how skinny you are already?! ... and what about your skin?! this diet is turning your skin gray. You know what? I don't care about your nonsense but no excuses ... tonight you'll eat or I'll force-feeding you"

Another girl (her sister) is dieting and looks exactly the same weight of the other one.

She goes out with a bunch of friends and relatives.

She keeps smiling and standing tall and before ordering with a smile she states with confidence:

"Okay people. I'm on a diet so you order your stuff and I will order mine!"

The replies are:

"ohh ... you're on a diet?! That's why you look so fantastic ... I was just commenting to myself about your glowing skin. It's great that you made such an important choice. Would you please tell me more about what you're doing and help me doing the same? You never cease to surprise me!"

It's not what you do but the way you do it.

It's not what you say but the way you say it.

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I agree with Samariah and Acne Be Gone Fairy.

It's all a matter of confidence.

If you have low confidence (and that could be the case even if you're not aware of that) you'll not only feel unconfortable in situations where you've to affirm yourself instead of conform but you'll also attract criticism and weird-stares.

I have said this before.

Two people may do exactly the same "weird" thing.

But the one who do it with qualm will become the target of scorn and harassment.

The one who do it with confidence will be not alone respected but will also attract curiosity.

The only reason why it is easy for me to have an health lifestyle while being social is that I've never accepted scorn, judgment and harassment and whatever I do, I do with the confidence that I believe in my choice and that I will never allow anyone to bother me even sightly for my choices.

It's not what you do but the way you do it.

It's not what you say but the way you say it.

One girl is dieting. She goes out with a bunch of friends and relatives and before ordering without confidence and anticipating bad reactions states in a shy way always looking for approval:

"I'm on diet ... because ... well I think ... I might be a bit chubby ... but ... well maybe you think I'm crazy ... but ... no no ... I won't order caloric stuff tonight ... and ... do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

The replies are:

"you're crazy ... you always have the most ridicolous ideas ... can't you see how skinny you are already?! ... and what about your skin?! this diet is turning your skin gray. You know what? I don't care about your nonsense but no excuses ... tonight you'll eat or I'll force-feeding you"

Another girl (her sister) is dieting and looks exactly the same weight of the other one.

She goes out with a bunch of friends and relatives.

She keeps smiling and standing tall and before ordering with a smile she states with confidence:

"Okay people. I'm on a diet so you order your stuff and I will order mine!"

The replies are:

"ohh ... you're on a diet?! That's why you look so fantastic ... I was just commenting to myself about your glowing skin. It's great that you made such an important choice. Would you please tell me more about what you're doing and help me doing the same? You never cease to surprise me!"

It's not what you do but the way you do it.

It's not what you say but the way you say it.

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like i said before. you just have to not care what people think. maybe its not easy but that's too bad.

the fact that you barely socialized with your boyfriend since you stopped drinking might be an indicator that your relationship or social activities need to be carefully thought about.

don't make up excuses. "americans are like this, like that, etc". i live in america and while some of the generalizations you make are true and apply to the many younger people in a broad sense, that is all they are, generalizations. seek out people that aren't stupid (yes im being blunt) and close minded and judgemental. maybe a lot of girls are catty and weight obsessed, etc. i personally only hang out/socialize with very few girls (because most get on my nerves for similar reasons) and socialize more with guys. but not all are.

maybe its because i never really was obsessed with fitting in with the pack that i don't see the big problem. you just need to be strong, confident in yourself and do your own thing. maybe you won't go out as much as you would like, maybe you will be a little lonelier at times, that's reality.

if i didn't have skin issues/acne i would still follow my healthy "weird" diet, i would still listen to music that most of my high school friends have never heard of or think is "weird", etc, i would still embrace my philosophical beliefs (i.e. buddhism) while living in environment where virtually everyone else is roman catholic, etc, etc,etc. yeah, a lot of people might give me looks or say things about me behind my back or simply react with a "wtf" but i honestly don't pay any attention to those people. i only live once, i'm going to live for myself and be myself and the people who respect that, agree with that, embrace that are attracted to that will give me the time of day, seek me out and i will do the same vice versa. seriously

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People may not make fun of you, but you are definitely going to be cast out socially.

And this is a problem how?

I'm sorry but I don't see socializing as important per se.

The only reason I socialize is because there are people I love the company of.

If I had to choose between being alone all the time or socializing for the sake of it with people that have nothing in common with me and means nothing to me I would choose being alone for sure. I just don't see things as "tasks" or "rituals" and I really don't understand the belief that "certain things must be done becayse they must be done"

If I have a girlfriend is because there's affinity between us not because I can't live without one and have to find one at all costs. If I have friends is because there's affinity and communication between us and not because I can't live without friends and have to find ones at all costs.

I would never whine because a bunch of idiots absolutely meaningless in my life would not socialize with me if I don't drink. I have enough confidence and self-respect not to care for something so meaningless.

That being said drinking, drugging and eating like shit has become a norm in whatever urban area of Europe expecially France and Spain. So I don't think the differences between the American culture and the European one are any longer so big because of the reasons stated in previous posts.

After all the need for eating like shit and drinking like crazy comes from having a life with is dry and devoid of any emotions so tripping artificially is the only way to feel something. That's not what I believe in and that's not the life I want. I believe in a life rich of meaningful experiences, discoveries, adventures, arts and enriching relationships.

And being true to yourself, rejecting a mediocre meaningless life that leaves you with nothing to remember but regret for the lost years and having meaningfull affectionate friendships instead of relying on whatever nitwit you stumbled upon is something that everyone (American, European or Asian) can do ; and it's the only way to show a little self-love. I'm totally confident (because of the tons of american friends I have on chat and which absolutely don't conform to the stereotype) that I would do great on USA too.

The world is just full of young people like samariah and me, people who don't conform and that want more from life than just the absolute alienation and meaningless modern consumistic routine. I was like this and had the same thought at 6 and then 10 years old. My parents themselves are sensitive people who made choices (volunteering) that didn't allow them to earn and save money so I have never been a middle-classe kid but someone who had to take his own responsabilities and understand what's like not to reach the end of the month but that when there's cooperation every problem can be solved. I've always favoured outdoor plays and creativity/immagination over any kind of expensive toy or entertainment and that's not because of the country I live in but because of the person I am. I'm grateful to my parents for not growing me like a rich kid who ends up believing that the meaning of life is collecting expensive stuff to fill your grave with. I'm grateful to poverty for showing me what really matters in life.

The only reason people like us seems "rare" is because we tend to be less confident, shy and introvert but if only all of us would grow some serious confidence (confidence which others lack but artificially build with alcohol, money, big houses and drugs) no one would consider the other kind "the norm".

I just don't plead for friends and no one should.

I'm proud whenever I don't conform and repel the masses.

It's not something to lament but to rejoice.

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I don't really miss drinking. I have the odd pint, but I can take it or leave it.

I do understand that it is hard to socialise without a drink, especially here in England where so much of the "culture" centres round drinking. I know it shouldn't be that way, but even people you do want to be around can be hard work if they are drinking and you are not.

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