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Tom_Mason

Mental Coping Skills Tips

I would like to know what you guys do to help block name calling out when people say nasty things. Although i dont have many scars my brother still enjoys ripping into me about it which gets me down, i try to distract myself with exercise or just going for a walk but it still hurts.

What do you guys do?

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Tom, thats obscene that your brother rips into you. In the 5 years i've been dealing with scars no one has ever mentioned my scars, and quite frankly i would be devestated if they did.

I would descibe my scarring as moderate (maybe mild-moderate overall as my left side ain't that bad compared to the f***ed up right side) but even still, it gets me down more than i can cope sometimes. Exercise is definately a good thing to do, helps me:)

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Is your brother ten of what? that's pathetic, who the hell would do that? I haven't had scarring for long, but one thing i have learn't to do is stop looking in the mirror so much.

What you need to realise is that some people who mention these things probably don't realise how bad your scars appear to you. They probably notice them but not in the same way you do, thus don't feel it is such a big deal when they 'rip into you'. Either that or they are complete assholes!!

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Tom,

I'm so sorry. Some people are just defective in a major way. I hate to say it but I think your brother is one of them. Lacking empathy is a much more serious flaw than any external scar could ever be.

How big is he??? Can you kick his ass? :dance:

Kidding...kinda.

My best!

Anna

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Thanks for the responses so far guys. Lamarr he's 16 the irony is he has also got scars although his are from sport thus making his facial scars "cool". I guess i could tease him about it but then it brings me down to his level.

Haha anna i definately could kick his ass and have done so on numerous occasions though not in relation to this. I know its possible to develop empathy so perhaps this could happen over time or should i do something about it now. I considered jsut telling him how it feels and how would he like it but i don't think he'd get it, as in understanding someone elses feelings. What do you guys think?

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I think like you said he will probably grow out of it. Only you will know if telling him how much your scars bother you with either. A stop him from teaseing you about them or B give him more amunition in arguements...

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Gosh, 16 is young Tom. I absolutely knew everything better than anybody else at that time...oh the EGO! Just tell your brother you hope it isn't so, but time and life have very interesting ways of humbling an individual and revealing their own weaknesses and flaws. His turn is sure to come.

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In the 35 years that I have had scars I have not had any comments to my face although I am sure that there have been many behind my back. If it did happen, I would verbally retaliate and let it go from there. Everyone has flaws, even movie stars and models so it would be relatively easy to spot the flaws on regular people and let them have it. Since it is your brother, you may want to take a softer approach and try to reason with him first. I agree with Anna, life has a great leveling effect on those that think that they are somehow better than others. I just believe that everyone has the right to dignity and respect.

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