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emmabrown

i feel like i can barely breathe i am so stressed out. i just want to scream.

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i have had the WORST day in weeks today, and i am so depressed.

so i was in a 'cant be bothered mood' this morning, and threw on some old clothes to nip to the local shop, and who do i end up bumping into while shopping, well only the person that i have liked for ages, and i looked a complete mess. and it was weird because i felt really down and upset after for ages. it really got to me, probably cause ive been feeling on edge and sad for days now..

and then i had a big argument with my sister, and i was upset about that, i think everythings getting on top of me because im SO worried about my first clinic

appointment next week in relation to my anxiety.

im already freaking out about it, work is unbearable at the moment and im so unhappy there, but i have some holidays coming up and then hopefully christmas will come and go because i think its a bad idea to start really looking for a new job before january. and its getting near to Christmas and the new year now and i am beginning to freak out about that, i hate the holidays. i hate seeing people i haven’t seen since last year, i hate the attention, i hate the socialising, its my worst nightmare and i am dreading it...

and on top of that, im on a healthy eating diet at the moment, in an attempt to improve my skin and my skin is quite bad at the moment, which im down about, and i just feel drained at the moment, like on the verge of tears, im so stressed out. of course i dont really have anyone to talk to, i dont really have any friends. im just so sick today. i cant even be bothered to cry.

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Release of anger is one of greatest things in life.. provided you do not harm any other individuals.

I would suggest pulling every ounce of inner strength you have in you and keep moving. Being at a standstill rotting away is baaaaaad.

All of this is IMO, of course. :)

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I can understand.

I just sleep it off. Carry it to the next day. Sleep it off.

._. It's killing me!!

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i have had the WORST day in weeks today, and i am so depressed.

so i was in a 'cant be bothered mood' this morning, and threw on some old clothes to nip to the local shop, and who do i end up bumping into while shopping, well only the person that i have liked for ages, and i looked a complete mess. and it was weird because i felt really down and upset after for ages. it really got to me, probably cause ive been feeling on edge and sad for days now..

and then i had a big argument with my sister, and i was upset about that, i think everythings getting on top of me because im SO worried about my first clinic

appointment next week in relation to my anxiety.

im already freaking out about it, work is unbearable at the moment and im so unhappy there, but i have some holidays coming up and then hopefully christmas will come and go because i think its a bad idea to start really looking for a new job before january. and its getting near to Christmas and the new year now and i am beginning to freak out about that, i hate the holidays. i hate seeing people i haven’t seen since last year, i hate the attention, i hate the socialising, its my worst nightmare and i am dreading it...

and on top of that, im on a healthy eating diet at the moment, in an attempt to improve my skin and my skin is quite bad at the moment, which im down about, and i just feel drained at the moment, like on the verge of tears, im so stressed out. of course i dont really have anyone to talk to, i dont really have any friends. im just so sick today. i cant even be bothered to cry.

anxiety sucks. but the bright side of this is that it is bigger than you make out to be. it is intangible. and it should be dirt off your shoulders.

how can you worry about something that hasn't happened yet? xmas is like 2 months away and the holidays are all a commercialized crapshoot. your skin isn't something that happened yesterday and it won't be cured tomorrow. knowing all this should put your mind to ease. if you can't control your feelings about something you can not control, then i suggest you meditate and focus to regain some equilibrium some balance, then charge full steam ahead.

on the flip side, you actually have an edge over things like holidays and such. because they land on the same day in the same month each and every year. you know they are coming and you know how stressed out you can get during those times. so why not try to overcome it? i liken it to a government that knows that a nuclear strike is imminent. as the government , wouldn't you take every precaution to avoid or placate the situation? instead we sit back and dread it and when it hits we say "See?! i told you so!". that is like going backwards! a vicious cycle that happens to you every time each year...can we say chronic (mmm chronic :shifty: )? in order to stop something that is chronic you need to break that cycle. if you don't you are doomed to repeat the same scenario each and every year. don't be that person! face it, power up and full steam ahead!

Tearless

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