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What the f*** is wrong with me?!

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I absolutely canNOT do this anymore. No one on this household gets it. My mom thinks I'm irritated because I can't get my restricted license today, but really I'm just having the worst skin day. I'm so sick and tired. I'm an emotional wreck. I only have two active lesions, but tons of redmarks. I counted them. Forty-six. The two zits I do have on pretty much on my lip and it hurts bad when I talk. I think I'm depressed, I have a ton of built-up stress and anger because I stopped cutting myself because of a promise I made to a friend. My mom won't take me to a derm because she says that my skin isn't that bad, but she rarely sees me without makeup. I feel like I'm doing everything right, using BP, washing my makeup tools all the time, using non-comedogenic, oil free things. I'm going to try and make an appointment myself. If I have to walk there and pay for it on my own, I really don't give a sh*t. I'm tired of getting advice from my aunt, who tells me things I already know; wash my makeup tools, etc. She makes me try makeup because it's supposed to help acne because it's got salicylic acid in it. I don't think she could ever find me anything that works because she never breaks out like I do. I've been having an emotional breakdown for an hour and a half now, and I tried going upstairs a few minutes ago because I thought I was ok, but it just got worse because my mom snapped at me because I sound like I'm pouting. Really, I just can't speak properly without talking. I'm supposed to see a friend that I haven't seen in a long time today, but I'm not sure if I can stay stable long enough to hold a conversation. My social life is dying a slow and painful death because I am self-conscious all the time. I can only manage six hours of sleep a night, then I have to go through the miserable process of washing my face and putting on my makeup (which just covers up the problem, and makes it worse when I wash it off at night). And I have to ride the bus with a bunch of dumb, cocky seventh graders that piss me off to no end. I know this sounds dumb too, but my dad is going to clean the house which stresses me out like crazy because I can never do anything he asks me right. I keep hyperventilating,too. Why does this happen to me :|

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Your family is anti-dermatologist? Good god, make an appointment for a derm in your area ASAP. Forget listening to your aunt's makeup advice. Go see a doctor. Take a cab if you have to, and explain your situation to the doctor. OTC stuff can be helpful, but prescription meds may be really beneficial to you. Good luck!

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Your family is anti-dermatologist? Good god, make an appointment for a derm in your area ASAP. Forget listening to your aunt's makeup advice. Go see a doctor. Take a cab if you have to, and explain your situation to the doctor. OTC stuff can be helpful, but prescription meds may be really beneficial to you. Good luck!

No she's not anti-dermatologist, my dad's been to one a few times. But she still doesn't see how bad my skin is and she overestimates the effectiveness of OTC products.

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Look hun i know being self conscience sucks but its best to accept that you have this and move on dreading about simple shit just gets old and it sounds like you have other issues you need to take care of also.

I myself had pretty bad acne starting around 10th grade it got really bad on one side and was really really red with bumps and stuff it actually made me quite the beta male.....this continued on until my senior year of HS but it got better because i was using dans BP gel and that helped out a lot after about 1-2 years of using it i finally got it under control....went to my derm and got a perscription for RETIN-A MICRO and thats what is getting rid of the scars/spots.

so really just accept that you have bad acne and move on...i mean i did that and i still had some pretty good friendsd throughout high school, but i did do some extracarricular activites and hope thats what you are doing. ACCEPT it i know it sucks but it makes life so much easier...

note: Retin-a Micro without insurance=really really expensive....i think its $100 dollars for 20mg of it.

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