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NotSoBeautiful

Something must be wrong with me

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Hi everyone. I just registered to this forum and am already posting quite a bit. I was mostly interested in this section, Emotional and psychological effects of acne.

At the moment, I'm feeling very low on self-confidence and worth, which happens often enough during the day, if only for a few moments.

I was brought to this site when I searched google for the simple tagline 'acne free skin', found acne.org and just figure that this forum may help me a bit. If not just find people that can sympathize and relate to how I feel.

I'm a 15 (turning 16 in 2 days) year old girl. I live in Ontario, Canada and attend a french catholic highschool.

An hour or two prior, while channel surfing on the tube I fell on an infomercial for this new product; Murad Acne Complex. At the same time I'm on the phone with the man I'm deeply in love with that lives 3,000 miles away and has never seen me or my face in person.

I laughed at the infomercial. Murad Acne Complex is just like Proactiv. I then began to ridicule and critizise the products, irritated at all the before and after pictures of people saying "Oh my! it worked so wonderfully on my face!"

Of course, it was an empty hollow laugh.

I get so angry when I see those commercials. Proactiv used to do it a lot to me. I tried Proactiv when I was 12 or 13. For the longest time. I dedicated myself to using it every morning and every night. I got no results. It did not reduce the acne on my skin. It may have made my skin feel cleaner, but the whiteheads and blackheads were still there in vast numbers.

It just isn't fair. Why do all these 'millions of subscribers' get to have perfect looking skin and I don't?

I've given up on Proactiv and gotten a doctors subscription to this other cream that has been helping slightly, but still my confidence has not gone up.

I was sitting here, watching the Murad Acne Complex infomercial, making fun of it trying to make myself feel better, talking to my...I supposed to can call him my boyfriend on the phone and I just started crying. He sensed the change in my voice and asked if I was okay. I told him of course I'm okay! It's just yeah that stuff is a total scam never works.

He told me I'm beautiful. He always tells me I'm beautiful, and gorgeous, and pretty, and cute...

but why I don't feel beautiful? Why don't I believe him when he tells me these things?

He's seen many pictures of me. We've been 'together' for 8 months now. I love him dearly and I just wish I could believe him when he tells me I'm pretty.

Why do I have to lie to him, when I'm registering for this forum? Oh I'm just commenting on facebook. Answering some messages on myspace. I'm fine. When I'm not. I'm sitting here CRYING and lying to him. I can't tell him how I feel about this...

I feel ugly often throughout my day. I use my hair to hide my face a lot. I have trouble looking people in the eyes, or directly at them. I don't want people to look at me. I feel horrible. And nothing works.

I used to cry a lot when I was younger. I've been suffering ever since I was 11, in the 6th grade. Now I'm turning 16 and when it comes to my face, my appearance and the way I feel about myself, I don't think I've improved by much.

Sometimes I wish so hard to have clear, beautiful skin. I'm angry at those that have perfect skin, that don't have to worry about how they look because their naturally beautiful.

I'm angry at my very sister, that never had to go through what I'm going through.

I get VERY upset when I hear girls complain and whine about ONE ZIMPLE ZIT that just appeared on their face; whereas I have to deal with several EVERYDAY.

I have breakouts frequently, right when I finish one and I think that maybe I'll be okay for a day, a new one pops right up and the whole breakout process begins over again.

I never get a break, and I always feel like the pits. I try to forget about it, but I always remember at the back of my mind, there's something reminding me to hide my face, don't let anyone see that huge one on your forehead you don't want them to stare at you.

It's torturous, and at the moment I'm feeling at my worse and just wish...that I didn't have to deal with it.

I'm almost 16 and I've never been on a date. I've never been kissed. I've never had a boy look at me like they couldn't STOP looking at me, or seen any shine of interest in their eyes because they don't even LOOK at me. I barely have any guy friends what so ever, why does it feel like their all avoiding me?

I have terrible confidence. My self-estime is far from repairable. I like my glasses and having bangs because I feel like I can hide behind it all.

I pick, squeeze, pop, scratch, rip at my skin everyday in a depeserate attempt to make myself feel like it's getting better. Horrible habits I know but I can't help it.

There's just no end to it....and I just wish I could feel pretty once in a while.

I should stop, YES this is a rant, I'll be shocked if anyone reads this but if you do...I question why. :/

Thankyou for reading.

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Once again, welcome to acne.org! There's nothing wrong with rants; that's a large part of why this forum is here. :)

You're not alone; ProActiv doesn't work for many of the people on here. It's safe to say that pretty much any acne product seen on TV doesn't work wonders as they say it does.

I'm not much older than you, so I understand what you're going through. It can be tough to make it through the feelings of anger and low self-esteem, but this is as good a place to come as any, as there's plenty of helpful and inspirational advice.

If it helps, we're all our own worst critics. While you think you're unattractive or not good enough, your boyfriend is likely telling the truth when he compliments you. It can be hard to believe, but other people often are able to look past acne.

I get VERY upset when I hear girls complain and whine about ONE ZIMPLE ZIT that just appeared on their face; whereas I have to deal with several EVERYDAY.
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Comparing yourself to others is one of the worst things you can do. Everybody's different, and acne is no indication of the person inside. Those other girls may have clear skin, but they're likely just as unhappy about other parts of themselves.

yeah I know ... :/ it just sucks you know? feels like you were the one cursed with it or something. I know your right though, hard to justify the way I see it haha.

At sixteen, you still have your whole life ahead of you to do those things. There's no rule that says you must have been on a date or had your first kiss by 16. Remember, the race is long, but in the end, it's only with yourself.

eheh another thing I know your right but it's kinda the society we live in, it's always younger and younger now. I've had friends laugh at me for never having a boyfriend or ever been kissed because they have sooo many times and such. I've met their boyfriends and I've had to watch some of them suck face and it really does not help. But it's more about how...you know a guy would WANT to kiss me :/

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But it's more about how...you know a guy would WANT to kiss me :/

Really, you can never tell. At school, I've admired plenty of girls from afar and they were never the wiser, not that I'm a stalker or anything.... :shifty: There may be guys that like you, but don't make it obvious.

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Really, you can never tell. At school, I've admired plenty of girls from afar and they were never the wiser, not that I'm a stalker or anything.... :shifty: There may be guys that like you, but don't make it obvious.

Lol why does that almost sound creepy. :) I know it's silly, it's not really one of the things that bother me that much anyway..or...I don't think so I dunno when I get into one of those moods, I just get irrational and emotional and feel like well...shit.

I guess I just really needed to let all that out cause yeah, I couldn't even tell the guy I'm in love with LOLLAME. ; ;

just gaaahh bugs meee... it really is a big part of my life; worrying about the way I look I mean. :/ I don't really try hard enough anymore cause kind of...given up I guess.

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hun, trust me when i say this.. ive dealt with what you have, i started breakin out when i was probably in grade 6 too, i never ever knew how many years id have to deal with it for, but now im older and after tryin 1000 things (including proactive which never worked for me) i found this site and used the regimen to control my skin

it can be really hard to deal with all of this, im sorry u have to, if u ever wanna talk pls feel free to msg me... and listen, dont ever let your acne make u feel less beautiful, because you are girl, the acne is just something you have to get in control...it duznt take away from ur beauty

please try the regimen posted on this website... good luck2 u

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please try the regimen posted on this website... good luck2 u

Took a quick look at it, kind of putting off homework for the forum right now just because I don't feel like working lol...

but uhm I don't really get it? Throw away old products...uhm...I dunno what product is it telling us to use? Only saw like, okay doesn't clear up in a couple days scarring will happen such and such....eh?

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basically its tellin u to use

1. a light non comodegenic bla bla cleanser- i personally like cetaphil

2. then you use 2.5% benzyol peroxide...i use spectro

3. and then you mostruize...( i kinda dont coz then my face gets oily,, but i use a spf when im goin out)

READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS >>> http://www.acne.org/regimen-instructions.html

it sounds too easy to be true but it really worked for me, and it didnt take ME personally longer than a month..so its really worth the try

also read this

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/index.php?showtopic=35135

its basically the same 3 steps with 2 more steps added that will help for redmarks

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basically its tellin u to use

1. a light non comodegenic bla bla cleanser- i personally like cetaphil

2. then you use 2.5% benzyol peroxide...i use spectro

3. and then you mostruize...( i kinda dont coz then my face gets oily,, but i use a spf when im goin out)

READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS >>> http://www.acne.org/regimen-instructions.html

it sounds too easy to be true but it really worked for me, and it didnt take ME personally longer than a month..so its really worth the try

also read this

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/index.php?showtopic=35135

its basically the same 3 steps with 2 more steps added that will help for redmarks

ah I only looked on the forum. Thankyou very much. :3

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ur welcome...:) yay im excited for you now...gud luck!

haha cute. I don't know if I can start right away though. Benzoyl Peroxyde (lol sp?) I think I have that but in a doctors subcription of sorts, it's the cream I've been using the longest time now...it...works kinda bringing now the really phsycially painful ones in a couple of days, but dries up the face a lot so I also have a moisturizer for that...think it's Clean and Clear, probably for acne prone skin. My mum tries to buy me lots of stuff to use cause she feels really bad but doesn't really know what I'm going through. But just knows that it's hard for me cause I've missed days of schools cause she finds me crying in the bathroom in front of the mirror in the morning while getting ready.

Oh well thankyou much for the help and advice. :) I feel better than I did when I made the first post, it's kind of a mood spazz I go into sometimes. lol

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Im 15 and All the things that u r sayin r happenin to me, I had a girlfriend she left me because i started to have acne 2 years ago , she didnt like ppl with acne. I used to have a cute and clean face but not now. Since I started to have acne my life have changed. I always cry, I dont really know why my bro and sis dont have acne, all my friend dont have it, im the only in my class who have it.

I have tried everything to stop this But i cant, i have gone more than 3 derm and nothin nothin, I always say Why ME¡¡¡ =( =( =( =( = ( im crying =(

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Im 15 and All the things that u r sayin r happenin to me, I had a girlfriend she left me because i started to have acne 2 years ago , she didnt like ppl with acne. I used to have a cute and clean face but not now. Since I started to have acne my life have changed. I always cry, I dont really know why my bro and sis dont have acne, all my friend dont have it, im the only in my class who have it.

I have tried everything to stop this But i cant, i have gone more than 3 derm and nothin nothin, I always say Why ME¡¡¡ =( =( =( =( = ( im crying =(

that's horrible D: it must be pretty hard for you since you haven't had to deal with it as long as some people have. I'd say that's just as bad... Well maybe you can keep reading this thread, people are giving me advice and it'll probably help you too! Maybe we can join the people with pretty skin together ; ;

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ur welcome...:) yay im excited for you now...gud luck!

haha cute. I don't know if I can start right away though. Benzoyl Peroxyde (lol sp?) I think I have that but in a doctors subcription of sorts, it's the cream I've been using the longest time now...it...works kinda bringing now the really phsycially painful ones in a couple of days, but dries up the face a lot so I also have a moisturizer for that...think it's Clean and Clear, probably for acne prone skin. My mum tries to buy me lots of stuff to use cause she feels really bad but doesn't really know what I'm going through. But just knows that it's hard for me cause I've missed days of schools cause she finds me crying in the bathroom in front of the mirror in the morning while getting ready.

Oh well thankyou much for the help and advice. :) I feel better than I did when I made the first post, it's kind of a mood spazz I go into sometimes. lol

gud im glad u feel better

ok so even if uve used the bp before..its more of the method on how to use it... for example not over drying ur face(which may have been ur problem with it thats why you only use 2.5% the lowest percent and you should be able to get it over the counter)....

i mean proactive has bp but it didnt work for me ....

the regimen basically makes u less aggressive in your fight towards acne... and i dont know bout u, but doctors were given me aggressive treatments that made my case worse ....so yah bp-maybe u have tried it b4... but the method all in all is very different

ps: ur moms sweet for tryin...

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I just ran upstairs to grab most of the creams I have that I could use, thought maybe people can tell me if their good or not.

My subcription product: BenzaClin Topical Gel (clindamycin, as phospate, 1% and benzoyl perodixe 5%)

Clean&Clear Dual Action MOISTURIZER HYDRATANT, oil-free. Medicated to help treat and prevent pimples.

Those two are the ones I use most often.

The very expensive, VICHY NORMADERM; Anti-imperfection, Hydrating care

I haven't used yet but might; VICHY NORMADERN Acne prone skin Gel Exfoliant with smoothing micro-particles.

and my mum just recently bought me a Post-Acne Mask, Fading Peel from Advanced Solutions...says with CelluZyme. from Neutrogena.

also have uhm...Noxema or whatever it's called I forget, it's pretty old my sister used it when she has a very mild case of acne when she was younger but it never really seemed to work for me.

oh and we have Oxyclean, those little circular pad thingies...

yeah okay I have lots of stuff I can use lol...

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Well, I told to my uncle about my acne, and he bought me something call:

OXY CLEANSING PADS ; BP 2%

OXY DAILY WASH BP 10%

Ive never used that before, can anyone tell me how to use?

My mom and dad are mad with me they dont want to buy me nothing =(.

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basically its tellin u to use

1. a light non comodegenic bla bla cleanser- i personally like cetaphil

2. then you use 2.5% benzyol peroxide...i use spectro

3. and then you mostruize...( i kinda dont coz then my face gets oily,, but i use a spf when im goin out)

READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS >>> http://www.acne.org/regimen-instructions.html

it sounds too easy to be true but it really worked for me, and it didnt take ME personally longer than a month..so its really worth the try

also read this

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/index.php?showtopic=35135

its basically the same 3 steps with 2 more steps added that will help for redmarks

this is what incharge gave me to look at :]

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