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Tom_Mason

Do your parents care about your scars

This thread is basically what the title states, do those important in your life understand or attempt to understand what your going through. Or do they play it down as if its nothing or treat it like acne with the assumption it will just "go away".

I posted this as the thing that annoys me most is the lack of acknowledgement like people saying there isn't a problem, i always think they'd be singing a very different tune if they were dealing with it.

Anyone else dealing with this?

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Omg, my whole family sisters (perfectly clear skin) and mother and father get angry at me 4 bein upset about my scars, i am geniuinly tramatised, and they are like stop being a baby. Iv thought about sucide to be like 'that will show them',but even still they would prob just think i was pathetic. They are like 'y are you so shallow, enjoy your life', they have a point but i still find it hard to cope with facial scarring, thats y all the support i look 4 is from ppl off of this board, other wise i fink id go nuts!!!!!!!!

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Guest delta force operators

yeah like i would get all kinds of tips when had acne, drink alot of water eat fruits piss clear ect. then i would get the have u seen the movie scar face lines (abeit this was when i had no scars and acne) alot of peeps kept giving me indirect signals.

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This thread is basically what the title states, do those important in your life understand or attempt to understand what your going through. Or do they play it down as if its nothing or treat it like acne with the assumption it will just "go away".

I posted this as the thing that annoys me most is the lack of acknowledgement like people saying there isn't a problem, i always think they'd be singing a very different tune if they were dealing with it.

Anyone else dealing with this?

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yes and yet they barely even try to help besides saying it's getting better everyday which it isn't at all. although my dermatologist says I have oriental skin so I can't be helped anyway.

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Not that I'd wish it on them, but I think they'd need to walk a mile in our shoes.

No, they don't get it. My mother & my man notice the way it affects me, that bothers them.. But, they both think I'm beautiful. :sick::hand:

If I had a dime for every time I've heard the phrase- Can't you just live with it? Even at the derms office! :evil: ...It's like, well if I could (if we all could), you wouldn't be making near as much money as you do right now. :razz:

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No! -Unfortunately, this is a problem that you have to face on your own. How many times have you had people say "your scars are not that bad" when what they are really saying is that the scars are not that bad on youand they are secretly very thankful that the scars are on you and not them. Parents, relatives and "special others" are primarily focused on themselves and are very thankful that they don't have the scars that we do. Even doctors that are highly educated on this condition don't grasp the depression and isolation involved as well as the extreme judgment that society places upon a person with a scarred face. These are the reasons why a forum of this type is very helpful. We can communicate with those that have the same condition and at a very deep level understand and encourage them. Unlike parents and others that should make the attempt but don't.

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No, I never discuss this huge problem I have inside me with anyone in my life. My mum are aware that I have scars on my face, and of course she would like me to have better complexion. But she doesnt know how much it hurts my self esteem inside. No one knows. I don't know how to actually discuss to them, maybe its because they will not be able to help me or just think I'm over-reacting.

It's sad that the people I love never knew I have such problem. I think I've developed depression cos of my scarrings. :(

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No, I never discuss this huge problem I have inside me with anyone in my life. My mum are aware that I have scars on my face, and of course she would like me to have better complexion. But she doesnt know how much it hurts my self esteem inside. No one knows. I don't know how to actually discuss to them, maybe its because they will not be able to help me or just think I'm over-reacting.

It's sad that the people I love never knew I have such problem. I think I've developed depression cos of my scarrings. :(

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In the beginning when my scars just showed up it was very noticable and people could understand, but now my mom and husband act like it's not that big of a deal but I think the trauma from going thru it always makes it seem like a bigger deal still to me. However, I have discovered especially after having a son that there are more important things out there and I have focused more on career goals and being a good mom this past year where it used to be all about my skin for a long time. It was depression, plus my husband was in the army and that didn't help the depression. Other things will contribute to us obsessing about our skin, because we feel like if we can control it we can be happy. I couldn't control alot in my life so I at least wanted to control my skin. Now that I'm not breaking out as much I feel more in control and I have to move on and not worry if I don't ever totally eradicate the scars. I like coming here but I don't feel like it's the end of the world if I don't fix the scars anymore. There are so many other things to worry about I've found now and they just don't rank as important anymore.

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my mom would be like, 'i don't know what you're talking about. you have no problems and it makes me think you're STUPID!'.

well, that's cuz i don't allow anyone (not even family) to see me in bad lighting! then one time i was driving her from the store, driving straight toward the sun. i was like, 'see?'. and i pointed at my scars. she's like, 'ya. don't show them to me!' then she turned her head away.

really, mom? not so stupid am i?

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Everyone shakes it off, like it's not a big deal when in reality this has totally ruined my life. I have had acne for two years and JUST NOW my parents are stepping in. I would of been a completely different person if I didn't have acne/red marks but I've spent most of my life hiding. I don't leave during the day because make up makes my face look worse. =/

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my scaring isn't that bad, but my parents are pretty good actually. e.g. offering to pay for treatments. I realise i am lucky with my parents though!!

P.s. to the person who said they have oriental skin and have no options, look into needling/derma rolling. It's the best option for all skin types IMO.

Deeper scarring needs subcission first though...

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