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lollygway

nearly finished college & feel like missed so much

hi, i'm not new to the site but i've never posted before. had acne for about 10 years.

i don't really break out much anymore but have loads of agly scars and i'm r pale so

they look terrible.

i've just started 3rd year in college and i'm seriously thinking bout dropping out,

i've realised how much i've missed out on, i feel like i can't live with people in my class,

cause they'd eventually see the real me and i couldn't handle it but now i've realised

i've totally isolated myself. i have no really close friends up here.

the course i'm doing is in tv prod too so it's all bout how things look. i just don't feel i have

the confidence to make it in this job.

i just see this really long lonely year ahead, i'm so obsessed with my skin i was even in my

madness considering becoming a beauty therapist or dermatologist althou would never get

the course.

anyone else feel this way? any advice

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Going into my second year myself, the few mates I had made last year have changed courses so I'm pretty much isolated myself this year.

My skin takes up a massive part of my thinking time even when sitting around the house, when I'm going to class/in class it distracts me. It sounds like your living in though? I know I couldnt stay there it would drive me mental living with others my own age with my skin, constantly comparing myself etc.

Because I'm travelling I dont really have any obligations other than class, I think I'm gonna just get my head down and get on, forget partying etc Try and fix my problems! It's absolutely maddening how I privatise my life.

What do you feel you have missed by the way?

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In the same boat... starting my second year, I live at school, and its tough.

I do have a pretty good group of friends, but I constantly blow them off.

My only suggestion would be, and mind you, its one I can't follow (and I regret everyday)... is try some clubs/ community service stuff. Thats what I miss most from high school... Like, especially the community service stuff... I mean, how bad can it be? You go help out at a homeless shelter, and you are with other genuinely good people. They don't like you? They don't like your face? Well hey, at least you are helping people (and maybe padding your resume too for grad school?)

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I am in my second year and I commute. While my skin is ok I definitely feel isolated. If I'm not at school, I'm holed up in my room doing work or wasting time on the computer. It's nice to get home from a busy day and relax, but sometimes I itch to go out - which I really do only once or twice a week.

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i graduate in a month but neways i've had my ups and downs in college... always had acne id say about 40% i ditch my friends ignore them and 60% i go out and party... Tonight will be part of that 60... my face looks disgusting but i told my friends id go to the bars with them so im just gonna drink the emotion away.. drinking the pain away isn't healthy but at least i can say i went out :dry:

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Like, especially the community service stuff... I mean, how bad can it be? You go help out at a homeless shelter, and you are with other genuinely good people.

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Hey,

I've been there... 4 years of college and every year my acne seemed to get a little worse...

I know what it's like to skip classes because of acne... Terribly frustrating, we all isolate ourselves and blow off friends too! It sucks, but whatever you do, don't drop out because of it!

Here's something to keep in mind: You are probably young. Picture yourself acne-free in a couple years, with a much stronger social life. Looking back you'd probably think it's silly how much you let a thing like acne take over your life.

Now here's another thing that kept me strong: I'm a guy, and I quickly learned that many girls dig older guys... In fact, I'd say most do. So, seeing as it was the natural order of things, I figured in college I wasn't missing out on much except some clueless freshmen girls! Most the girl my age were into older men.

The big thing here is that you keep hope for the future. I'll tell you right now if I can't control my acne within the next few years I'll seriously consider going on Accutane, because like you I'm tired of feeling so tied down every day.

Good luck, keep strong.

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This sounds like me in high school...by the time I made it to senior year I said "screw it" & gave up on being social at all. There's usually a larger pool of people in college, so you have more to work with. Everyone doesn't have an impression of you yet.

The "real you" doesn't have to be some vulnerable, open wound either. Everyone has a public personality & a private one. The private, intense person is not meant to be seen by new friends. No one expects an open book immediately or wants one.

Build a curiosity in other people & start off casual, just making small conversation & showing interest in them. Remember they may have issues too & may be waiting for someone to befriend them. You don't have to be super witty or interesting even; people like attention & they like to talk about themselves, so ask questions.

Also TV production is behind the scenes....behind the scenes people aren't supposed to be the best looking anyhow. I do graphic design, all about aesthetics too, but I'm the designer so how I look is not nearly as important as what I create. Your intelligence & talent will make up for any perceived flaws if you don't let insecurity ruin them.

Now off to take my own advice...:silenced:

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Going into my second year myself, the few mates I had made last year have changed courses so I'm pretty much isolated myself this year.

My skin takes up a massive part of my thinking time even when sitting around the house, when I'm going to class/in class it distracts me. It sounds like your living in though? I know I couldnt stay there it would drive me mental living with others my own age with my skin, constantly comparing myself etc.

Because I'm travelling I dont really have any obligations other than class, I think I'm gonna just get my head down and get on, forget partying etc Try and fix my problems! It's absolutely maddening how I privatise my life.

What do you feel you have missed by the way?

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All of this is basically the same exact stuff that I've been going through in college. Everyone on this post, I hear ya. I have been down every inch of that road so many times I know it by memory. Being alone, being isolated, being holed away from the world. I'm there.

Or I was.

But a little over 2 weeks ago I sat down and decided that after losing close to 6 years of my life to acne, I was seriously through. I wanted to see how the world would react if I branched out and expanded my life. Ya know what I found out? That I was the one isolating myself. I still have bad acne, yeah, and it ain't healin' up anytime soon, but that hasn't stopped me from making friends, having fun and livinglife!

In fact, I can't remember ever feeling so alive. I really seem to have things going for me, in spite of my skin. I figured, hey, I'll do what I can to meet people and make friends, and if they don't my face, heck, why should I? Why should I give them a reason to?

Don't give in.

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yup, same thing here. i wanted to drop out, but my parents wouldn't have it. which sucks, cuz my skin coulda healed, and i'd probly have less scarring than i do now.

i had picture perfect skin too, until college. its cuz all the partying and drinking, just murdered my face. became withdrawn, introverted, lost a lot of friends. depressed, alcoholic, darkness and lonely. which i guess sounds painful, but i personally think it's kinda funny that i could fall so low (it's funny now. it wasn't funny at the time though).

oh ya, it also kinda put my life on pause. cuz i needed references from professors, but i was too ashamed to talk to people, so i didn't have anyone to write them for me. so now i'm back for a 2nd go at it.

here's the main thing...you can get mad and sad about it. that's fine. but don't become a dark person, a shell of a man. people forgive you easier if you're just having a bad day. but if you're dark to the core, they know the difference, and no one likes to be near dark people.

it sucked spending weekends alone, when i knew deep down that i wanted to be out and about and partying and meeting fine women. but now i personally enjoy just relaxing. my life's kinda hectic anyway, so chillin is fine w/ me.

there are people out there that don't care about about your skin problems. you'll meet them if you put yourself out there.

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