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Paul25

Thanks For Ruining Everything

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I was suppose to be going to see my favourite music band this Thursday, with a girl i like. I was looking forward to it but after last weekend, 2 big spots appeared on my face which have now left scabs. I look like a freak, but now i have felt another massive one is coming, so by Thursday im going to look terrible compared to her. Im sure she will wonder what the hell shes there with me for.

About 6 years ago i was told this shit would go away, im getting so sick of it now. Every single day, every hour and every minute i am thinking about my skin, and thinking will it ever get better? Its not going to because i have no f**king idea why im still getting them.

I could used to sit here, and just write my feelings without getting very angry, but im passed that now, im going insane. I feel defeated, and once im dead my body will still be covered in acne.

Oh, what fucking marvelous days these are.

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This maybe stupid but its taking over my life, i just had to write about it.

My Shadow No Longer Shows

As The Black Sun Grows

Its All For Me

And Ive Been Patient

Slice It Right Through

The Goodness Will Prevail

If Its Not Straight Away

The Sensations Will Come

Paranoia Clears Greatly

As My Consciousness Fades

The Pills Arent Working

And The Powders Not Permament

I Cry For Myself

As No One Else Will

The Waters Shall Rise Above My Head

Let Me Clear It All Away

You've Ruined This Occasion

Now She Will Never Be The One

Im Growing Older

Yet I Was Told It Would Be 5 Years?

Please Let It Die

Im Still Fighting The Battle

But Losing The War

I wish To Retrieve My Soldiers

But All But One Are Gone

I Can Sit And Cry Today

This Is All I Wish For

Please Answer Me Tonight

My Prayers Wish For Your Cure

This Five Year Era Must Die

Im Begging

Please

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if the girl doesn't want you because of some spots, then you're better off without her. go regardless and go with confidence. your skin isn't what wins the girl, it's you.

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if the girl doesn't want you because of some spots, then you're better off without her. go regardless and go with confidence. your skin isn't what wins the girl, it's you.

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I know it's gonna be tough with the acne taking away your confidence. What I can recommend is to get a facial before the concert/date (1-2 days before is best in case of bad reaction to facials...) It may not help all that much with the zits that are forming but the rest of your skin will GLOW, which is always good for confidence. Also, you could do this all depending on how you feel. Apply some concealer on the zits...However, make sure it's a concealer that won't show...Good luck.

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I know it's hard, especially with scabs (those are the WORST) and a large pimple. But do your best to just pretend it's not there. Hard, I know, but if she really likes you she won't care at all.

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I'm sorry about your situation, man. I've been there a million times, and will doubtless continue to go through that same shit. But after reading this thread I got to thinking... I wonder what would happen if you tell the girl exactly what you're telling us right now? She sounds like a great person, and this being the case if you came out of the closet (so to speak) with your acne-centered insecurity it would totally disarm your anxiety about it around her. Ya know what, I might start doing this. Hell, it beats trying to hangout with people while feeling shitty about yourself and having to pretend that you aren't. Whatever somebody's inner demons are, it is usually such a huge relief to have that weight lifted off your shoulders by just being open about it. If this doesn't sound doable or realistic to you, I apologize.

Have you ever been on Accutane?

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I'm sorry about your situation, man. I've been there a million times, and will doubtless continue to go through that same shit. But after reading this thread I got to thinking... I wonder what would happen if you tell the girl exactly what you're telling us right now? She sounds like a great person, and this being the case if you came out of the closet (so to speak) with your acne-centered insecurity it would totally disarm your anxiety about it around her. Ya know what, I might start doing this. Hell, it beats trying to hangout with people while feeling shitty about yourself and having to pretend that you aren't. Whatever somebody's inner demons are, it is usually such a huge relief to have that weight lifted off your shoulders by just being open about it. If this doesn't sound doable or realistic to you, I apologize.

Have you ever been on Accutane?

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Ive been thinking all day at work, and im seeing now that its not other peoples opinions im worried about. Im worried about going through this my whole life and trying to lead a relationship when its never going to be achieved.

When i talk to that girl on here and we sign off to go to bed, i know she will instantly go to bed, whilst i have to go and put aload of shit on my face, just thinking of stuff like that depresses me. And its always going to be that way, i cant see that ill ever lead a normal life now. I always get the thought in my head if i aint clear by a certain age, i will no longer wish to carry on and i think very much that will come true.

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Man, I guarantee you that you will be in a relationship someday. I'm 28, and due to my acne and low self esteem, I wasn't in a real relationship until 2 years ago. Since I turned 18 I felt the same way you do -- that there was no way any girl could ever like me. I stopped hanging out with friends and hid from the world for 5 years until I finally had to do something so I went to college. Still dealing with freakish acne, I had had enough of the hiding and found a few friends to kick it with. After a few months, I ended up in a relationship with a real live girl (which blew my mind), and it was because she saw my personality and didn't even focus on my skin. I didn't know how this was possible, but indeed it is. Haha.

Now, she just freakin dumped me and left me alone in NYC, lol, but the moral of the story is that who you are beneath the acne matters 100x more than what's on top. I'm not discounting the PURE frustration you (and I and millions like us) feel because you just want to be normal like everybody around you, but you gotta stop with the "why me" stuff. It ain't going to help. Trust me. I did that for those 5 years I was in "seclusion." It'll just keep you in that downward spiral of depression.

I'm freaking disfigured, man, but I am not stressed out about finding another gf because I know there's so many fish in the sea that I will eventually, whether it's soon or many years from now, find somebody to be with. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the small things in life and live in the now. Please try to not get too down on yourself and obsessed with the relationship thing. Believe me, it will happen when you're least expecting it.

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