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I'm dealing with the worst break out I've ever had in my life. I feel like complete shit about the way I look and I just want these recent zits to be GONE. I've been really fragile lately, and emotional and have had suicidal thoughts. I talked this over with my parents, and I'm working on getting an appointment with a clinical psychologist.

On top of feeling horribly disfigured due to this breakout, I just got off the phone with a dermy's office and the soonest I can see her is in 3 weeks. All I have been looking forward to lately is seeing someone to fix me. I live in Australia so I had to see a General Practitioner to get a referral to even CALL a derm. So right now everything seems hopeless and I can't help but think that it's all going to get worse. This is also why I want therapy, I have these feelings of doom like nothing will ever get better, only worse.

I am trying to get the next couple weeks off from work because there is no way I can function in the state I'm in. I just hope my boss is understanding. I am supposed to work from 2-8 tomorrow and the thought makes me sick to my stomach. I hate this....

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I'm sorry :comfort:

Glad to hear you have a derm appointment. Things can & will get better; for both your skin & mental state.

I have some sense of those feelings of doom you're having, as I feel doomed much of the time. All I can say is just push forward & find hope & solace in any little thing you can. Sometimes its just my cat, or a song, or a good book/movie that take my mind off of those feelings & make life bearable, if just for a few minutes even.

Also remember you are much more as a person than just your skin/appearance; don't allow it to define you & control your life.

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I guess I'm scared that while I'm waiting to see my dermy, things will get worse. I've spent all day crying, and my boss won't let me take time off because the store is short-handed.

I don't really care about what other people think of me, I care about what I think of me. And when I wake up in the morning and have to worry about covering up scars and blemishes, it breaks my heart. I feel like all of this was dropped on me so recently. The sad thing is, I know I would be so happy if I didn't have to worry about my skin. Makes me feel a bit shallow.

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No I understand....I always wore makeup & no one knew the extent of my acne except me & my immediate family, but it was still awful knowing what I looked like without makeup.

Its not shallow either; when you clear up, you do feel somewhat better. It won't cure insecurity, but it can lessen it quite a bit or at least be one less thing to worry about.

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You shouldn't feel shallow. I know what you mean when you said you mostly care about what you think and feel. I too wake up in the morning and feel sad over my face. I think there are other bigger things I could worry about besides my face, but it keeps preoccupying my mind. I guess what I am trying to say is that you are not alone on this.

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you're not alone.. we all want clear skin because we all want to be better.. i cant even remember the last time i woke up in the morning with having to think about my skin.. its unfair and it happens when least expect it to.. but hey i hope you know that this org is your shoulder and we are here for you..

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I'm dealing with the worst break out I've ever had in my life. I feel like complete shit about the way I look and I just want these recent zits to be GONE. I've been really fragile lately, and emotional and have had suicidal thoughts. I talked this over with my parents, and I'm working on getting an appointment with a clinical psychologist.

On top of feeling horribly disfigured due to this breakout, I just got off the phone with a dermy's office and the soonest I can see her is in 3 weeks. All I have been looking forward to lately is seeing someone to fix me. I live in Australia so I had to see a General Practitioner to get a referral to even CALL a derm. So right now everything seems hopeless and I can't help but think that it's all going to get worse. This is also why I want therapy, I have these feelings of doom like nothing will ever get better, only worse.

I am trying to get the next couple weeks off from work because there is no way I can function in the state I'm in. I just hope my boss is understanding. I am supposed to work from 2-8 tomorrow and the thought makes me sick to my stomach. I hate this....

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Thanks so much guys. It's good to know that people understand what this feels like. I hate knowing that my face is no longer clear and blemish-free, I guess I just haven't accepted it yet. What terrifies me most is how much worse this could possibly get. It's still mild, but I don't know what I'd do if acne took over my face.

It's hard because I recently moved from the states to Australia, and I don't really have any friends. My boyfriend also told me that he cheated on me about 2 weeks after I moved here. Plus I am applying to Uni's here and I haven't heard back from any of them which makes me think I'm not gonna get in. But to be honest, I don't even want to go back to school now, I feel too fragile. Blegh :cry:

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I'm dealing with the worst break out I've ever had in my life. I feel like complete shit about the way I look and I just want these recent zits to be GONE. I've been really fragile lately, and emotional and have had suicidal thoughts. I talked this over with my parents, and I'm working on getting an appointment with a clinical psychologist.

On top of feeling horribly disfigured due to this breakout, I just got off the phone with a dermy's office and the soonest I can see her is in 3 weeks. All I have been looking forward to lately is seeing someone to fix me. I live in Australia so I had to see a General Practitioner to get a referral to even CALL a derm. So right now everything seems hopeless and I can't help but think that it's all going to get worse. This is also why I want therapy, I have these feelings of doom like nothing will ever get better, only worse.

I am trying to get the next couple weeks off from work because there is no way I can function in the state I'm in. I just hope my boss is understanding. I am supposed to work from 2-8 tomorrow and the thought makes me sick to my stomach. I hate this....

I'm glad you could talk to your parents about how down you are feeling.

Thoughts of suicide are all too consuming when people feel down, to the point where they don't want to talk to even their closest friends or family.

Sometimes it's the little things in life which can pull us out of feeling down, like taking a walk in the sunshine, patting a dog/cat, nice hot bubble bath, watching a funny movie.

Don't count the days until your derm app and it will be here sooner and make sure you keep sharing your thoughts and feelings, even if it's online here :dance:

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Thanks so much guys. It's good to know that people understand what this feels like. I hate knowing that my face is no longer clear and blemish-free, I guess I just haven't accepted it yet. What terrifies me most is how much worse this could possibly get. It's still mild, but I don't know what I'd do if acne took over my face.

It's hard because I recently moved from the states to Australia, and I don't really have any friends. My boyfriend also told me that he cheated on me about 2 weeks after I moved here. Plus I am applying to Uni's here and I haven't heard back from any of them which makes me think I'm not gonna get in. But to be honest, I don't even want to go back to school now, I feel too fragile. Blegh :cry:

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Your face has been clear before, so it can and will be clear again. This is something I often have to remind myself of too.

I often feel really self conscious when I have a breakout too, and I think it has kept me indoors a lot. Going outside and continuing with your life is important, just do what you need to do and don't forget that better days will come. And whenever you have personal time at home, do things which are relaxing and enjoyable. Acne is only a speck of dust upon the great person that you are.

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You guys are amazing. I managed to drag myself out of bed this morning and I haven't cried once today!! That's an improvement hahah. Plus I made my appt with a psychologist in a few weeks.

Still working on the face though, trying to kill these breakout zits, and I can't see any lurkers that I need to worry about. Hopefully this will be my last breakout on the road to recovery!!!

To the person who asked, I work at a grocery store. It's really stressful cause people are constantly like a foot away from my face while I am under florescent lights surrounded by mirrors hahah. I'm taking a few weeks off to work on some emotional stuff, and I really hope I'll keep getting better physically and mentally, but only time will tell.

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Hi,

Whatever you do, just hang in there. I know it sounds cliché but one day you'll look back on this on you'll be proud of yourself for having pulled through. In the mean time (and I'm sorry if I'm repeating what other posters have said) try to take some time just for yourself that might make you feel good and that isn't necessarily skin related. It sucks that you can't take time off work, but in your spare time go for a walk, get a massage, get your nails done, go shopping, take an extra long bath etc. etc. whatever little thing that you know in the past has made you feel a little bit better when you were down. Also, as another poster(s) mentioned, keep on talking to your parents as much as possible, don't worry about stressing them out or anything. They're parents and thats what they're there for (plus they're probably grateful that you trust them enough to talk to them about your feelings).

Now about the skin problems. I definitely know where you're coming from. I had this perfect regimen that worked for a good year now, and then all of a sudden I developped a reaction to one of the products so basically I can't follow it anymore. My skin is still so so, but every morning it seems to get worst and like you, it'll take forever before I get to see a derm (that is if I can, since it takes forever to even see my doc, and he's not too keen on giving out referrals). We've probably all heard that stress makes acne worst, so obviously worrying about it isn't helping. However, I'm learning to cope in my own way and maybe this might help you. I try extra hard not to spend too much time looking in the mirror. It doesn't help anything anyway and it just makes me feel worst, plus when I'm not staring at my skin I sometimes get to get it out of my mind. Also (and yes this is super corny but whatever) when I wake up, instead of running to the mirror, I force myself to think of at least 3 things that are good in my life. If anything negative pops up I force myself to counter it with another positive thing. This can be hard the first few times, especially when you're down, but I assure you there are always good things, you just have to look extra hard sometimes but they are there.

Anyway, hope you feel better and keep us posted

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Hi,

Whatever you do, just hang in there. I know it sounds cliché but one day you'll look back on this on you'll be proud of yourself for having pulled through. In the mean time (and I'm sorry if I'm repeating what other posters have said) try to take some time just for yourself that might make you feel good and that isn't necessarily skin related. It sucks that you can't take time off work, but in your spare time go for a walk, get a massage, get your nails done, go shopping, take an extra long bath etc. etc. whatever little thing that you know in the past has made you feel a little bit better when you were down. Also, as another poster(s) mentioned, keep on talking to your parents as much as possible, don't worry about stressing them out or anything. They're parents and thats what they're there for (plus they're probably grateful that you trust them enough to talk to them about your feelings).

Now about the skin problems. I definitely know where you're coming from. I had this perfect regimen that worked for a good year now, and then all of a sudden I developped a reaction to one of the products so basically I can't follow it anymore. My skin is still so so, but every morning it seems to get worst and like you, it'll take forever before I get to see a derm (that is if I can, since it takes forever to even see my doc, and he's not too keen on giving out referrals). We've probably all heard that stress makes acne worst, so obviously worrying about it isn't helping. However, I'm learning to cope in my own way and maybe this might help you. I try extra hard not to spend too much time looking in the mirror. It doesn't help anything anyway and it just makes me feel worst, plus when I'm not staring at my skin I sometimes get to get it out of my mind. Also (and yes this is super corny but whatever) when I wake up, instead of running to the mirror, I force myself to think of at least 3 things that are good in my life. If anything negative pops up I force myself to counter it with another positive thing. This can be hard the first few times, especially when you're down, but I assure you there are always good things, you just have to look extra hard sometimes but they are there.

Anyway, hope you feel better and keep us posted

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Funny that this thread got revived. Had another panic/self-pity attack today when I tried to make myself look nice to go out. I realized I couldn't cover the marks left behind by my bad breakout. I'll never feel attractive, at least not for the long while it takes for my marks to fade. I dont want to leave the house and I'm tired of hoping and being terrified that I'll get another bad breakout, and then another, and another. It's exhausting and I want to give up. I don't like myself anymore and I feel ruined.

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Funny that this thread got revived. Had another panic/self-pity attack today when I tried to make myself look nice to go out. I realized I couldn't cover the marks left behind by my bad breakout. I'll never feel attractive, at least not for the long while it takes for my marks to fade. I dont want to leave the house and I'm tired of hoping and being terrified that I'll get another bad breakout, and then another, and another. It's exhausting and I want to give up. I don't like myself anymore and I feel ruined.

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Wow. Thanks dear, that was a really uplifting post you left. It made me feel heaps better! Like you said, I'm trying to focus on the positive non-physical aspects of myself, but they always seem to be overshadowed by my new negative self-image. I'm trying really hard to remember that things will get better, but I want to see results NOW hahaha. And as someone else pointed out, it is really frustrating when you don't have control over the situation that is bad skin. My breakout has subsided, so now I'll just focus on those evil red marks. But anyway, I'll take all the wonderful advice given to my and put it to use. I suppose we all are our own worse critics, so that puts things in perspective a little bit. I'm definitely going to get my emotional issues worked out with someone professional though, I already made an appointment. My 19 years have been pretty easy and enjoyable up till now, so this can only be part of life's equilibrium. I can get scarily low, but I love my family and friends too much to hurt them by hurting myself. I'm sure that's a savior for a lot of others out there too.

And to all of you guys who feel the same way as me, though our situations may be different, let's try not to let rebellious skin get the best of us eh?

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Wow. Thanks dear, that was a really uplifting post you left. It made me feel heaps better! Like you said, I'm trying to focus on the positive non-physical aspects of myself, but they always seem to be overshadowed by my new negative self-image. I'm trying really hard to remember that things will get better, but I want to see results NOW hahaha. And as someone else pointed out, it is really frustrating when you don't have control over the situation that is bad skin. My breakout has subsided, so now I'll just focus on those evil red marks. But anyway, I'll take all the wonderful advice given to my and put it to use. I suppose we all are our own worse critics, so that puts things in perspective a little bit. I'm definitely going to get my emotional issues worked out with someone professional though, I already made an appointment. My 19 years have been pretty easy and enjoyable up till now, so this can only be part of life's equilibrium. I can get scarily low, but I love my family and friends too much to hurt them by hurting myself. I'm sure that's a savior for a lot of others out there too.

And to all of you guys who feel the same way as me, though our situations may be different, let's try not to let rebellious skin get the best of us eh?

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Funny that this thread got revived. Had another panic/self-pity attack today when I tried to make myself look nice to go out. I realized I couldn't cover the marks left behind by my bad breakout. I'll never feel attractive, at least not for the long while it takes for my marks to fade. I dont want to leave the house and I'm tired of hoping and being terrified that I'll get another bad breakout, and then another, and another. It's exhausting and I want to give up. I don't like myself anymore and I feel ruined.

:comfort:

Poor thing, it breaks my heart coming in the Emo section because I know exactly how everyone is feeling and how the only thing that can really take the pain away is for your skin to clear up magically over night.

I know this may sound like ludicrous conjecture, but things WILL get better. Maybe your Derm will be able to prescribe you something to help control your skin, in the mean time just do whatever you're willing to do in order to keep your skin, and your sanity, under control.

Avoid looking too much in the mirror, it only magnifies your insecurities and results in it being all you can think about when you are out, completely forgetting all the other wonderful qualities about you.

I can't imagine how stressed you must be feeling, on top of your skin you've moved to a new country where everything is new and you're having to start again, and your boyfriend sounds like a right twat, forget about him now - so not worth even being present in your thoughts.

Just try and be strong, if suicidal thoughts become overbearing then please seek help from anyone. Talk to your parents (though they - in my opinion - are the hardest people to talk to as they're the people who love you the most) or someone else you can trust, hell even talk to us on these boards or phone anonymously to Samiritans or another caring organisation. Suicide attempts, even unsuccessful ones, leave everyone around you in a spiral of despair - as well as making you feel a whole lot worse, do not feel as if it's the only way out.

I understand your opinion of "I care what i think about me, not anyone elses" and i admire you for that, but try to think of you as a whole person as apposed to just being a young girl with acne. Think about how much you care and love people and how you are loved in return, how talented you are at things, how you can make people smile and laugh, there is SO much more to everyone than just whether we have nice skin or not (I'm sorry if anyone finds that condescending, i know all too well what acne does to a person, i felt exactly the same and still do sometimes now but it really is the truth)

One day your skin will not bother you, and you will reflect on this period and feel sorrow because you have missed out on so many things, much like people regret not working harder in school when they start work, or they regret not seeing the world when they've settled down, and that's a terrible thing - the thought of making the most of your time here and it was hindered because of our perception of ourself. I realise society plays a part in all of this, if people understood acne better we wouldn't suffer the harsh comments, icy stares, and mocking blows we endeavour - but this is a problem that these people have, they make fun of what they don't understand, acne will open up your eyes to so many other things that you will sympathise with and it will make you a more compassionate person.

Sorry for rambling, I really hope the Derm can help you, and remember that skincare is advancing all the time and there are tonnes of products out there that you haven't tried yet, and if they don't work, there is always Accutane (which i am eternally grateful for).

Don't give up.

Ry

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