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lilt22

Suicide is the ONLY way out

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Eating healthily is great,but there is still a difference between eating healthily and eating to avoid acne, my mom cooks great healthy foods and she gets the balance really nicely, but still i was only clear until i tested the foods i was eating, at the end i had to stop eating gluten food(not completely)/seafoods/dairy food, and avoided vegetable oil to bring my skin to an acceptable level.

And then when i did 30-45 mins of cardio excercise on treadmills and bikes i became about 95% clear, with a few tiny pimples which is hardly noticeable.

and btw oxy pads or any other pads broke me out baddddddddddddddd.

2% bp is more than enough, and you put 10% on 4 times a day? dryyyyynessss, nevermind that might also mean you wash your face 4 times a day?

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One more thing, I would strongly advise you to stop using BP before you go on tane. I have very sensitive skin and i used to regularly use BP before tane. I often had reddish skin and dryness in certain areas due to this and other harsh chemicals. I stopped for about 3 weeks before i started tane, however during my course i got major redness in the areas that i used BP. Now (3 months post) tane the redness is slowly fading, but it still bothers me.

Iam only mentioning this because you say that you use a lot of 10%b BP. Obviously everybody is different but if your skin is irritated then i would stop using it and give your skin some time to heal before you go on tane. From my own experience i would say that BP, or any other topical is going to do little or nothing to stop severe acne, it will only irritate your skin and make it worse.

My advice would be to stop BP and only use a gentle cleanser and good moisturiser. Only wash your face 2 - 3 times a day, dont touch your face and never pick or squeeze your acne.

I know how hard this can be when you just want to rip your face off, but trust me when i say that it only makes things worse. Accutane will clear you up, but in doing so it purges your skin and makes things worse anyhow. There really is no point putting on BP etc before hand in the futile hope that it will clear you up.

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I once thought about suicide, and I even had a method for executing it. But then I came to realize that a life spent doing just about anything is better than a life of possibilities cut short. Then, If I am going to be living anyways, I well as might try to enjoy it and make the best of it. Finding purpose in life is difficult sometimes, but once you give yourself purpose, life, suffering, and happiness all don't look so pointless anymore.

Life can often be like a trial by fire. But when you put lots of rocks with trace amounts of gold in a furnace, you end up being able to separate pure gold from the dirt. So dealing with this and overcoming it will make you a much stronger person in the end.

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Lilt22

You are right about the exfoliants making severe acne worse. It will make any acne worse, as it irritates the skin, and acne is worsened by inflammation. I have learned alot about my acne, and improved it, since starting school to be an esthetician.

Have you tried homeopathic remedies as well as the BP? When I was your age I used apple cider vinegar topically and internally(with tea, water, etc.) along with the BP and it worked wonders! Use it as a toner after you cleanse. Always use a light, oil-free moisturizer if you have oily skin.

Water consumption is also critical with acne! It is a detoxifier and you skin is there to expel waste. You should drink at least half your body weight in oz. unless you are drinking soda, alcohol, or involved in strenuous activity, then you should increase your water intake accordingly.

None of this will cure acne, as there is no cure or known cause for acne. But it could help with the pain caused by inflammation. Most likely what you are going through is hormonal and you will grow out of it. Always keep in mind that there are alot of us out there that have/had acne, and really enjoy our lives. They are a lot of open-minded people out there who will accept you for who you are. High school is not the real world. High school is full of bull shit and the people who give you crap now will most likely have problems down the road when you come into your own and are having the time of your life. Now is your time to focus on you and what makes you Happy!

Good luck!!!

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I know what you mean. I've never had terrible acne but kids, teenagers and adults are cruel. What I find is that when you pick on someone or don't defend someone who's getting picked on, you divert the attention and others aren't picking on you at that time. It's a sick vicious cycle.

My brother had acne that was similar to what you describe yours to be. He was tortured for it and got into many MANY fights. I personally am not a big fan of antibiotics but I can say that Accutane really worked for my brother. His skin is now clearer than mine (God I hate him lol)

Acne is one of your major issues but the family sounds to be an issue too...An alcoholic father and a mother who doesn't show much affection can definitely mess you up. This is what I can say.

1) Fuck them all! You live for you and not for yourself. People that have meaning when you're 15 have no meaning later on in life. I was tormented by this one bully as a kid and he now drives a cab. I'm this close to being a psychologist. Do you know how much I laughed when I saw him! He didn't recognize me and somehow I forgot to tip him lol

2) There is help out there. You parents and your friends don't get what you're going through? That's fine! People are paid to get you! Get an appointment with your doctor asap and get a referral to a therapist/psychologist. Most of them let you vent until you're blue and then put what you said in perspective. They don't judge which is great. Also, your parents probably don't even have to know that you're seeing a therapist. In most countries, people your age are protected by a privacy law when it comes to anything related to health.

3) The acne is NOT you. Are you really gonna let some stupid zits drive you to ending your life? I don't think so. You know how much it hurts but you also know how strong you are. Reaching out for help is the best thing that you can do and you're doing it. Props to you! I wish I had reached out earlier. It would of made things much easier.

Don't let despair win. If the antibiotics don't work, Acutane will. Once that acne is gone, you'll be happy with who you are inside and out. There's no pills to cure those assholes who make fun of people! Fortunately, you wouldn't need any help in that department! Best of luck and keep us updated!

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dude, if acne is your only problem, then hell, you're lucky! i'd love your life, i wish acne was my only problem, i've got OTHER REAL MAJOR problems to deal with.

It's interesting that you acknowledge how some things which manifest are REAL MAJOR problems, yet you discount this persons very obvious REAL MAJOR problem with a statement that suggests they're lucky.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Please, exercise some empathy and understanding for other people who are also having a hard time. They're not crying out to instigate flame-wars, this is clearly a cry for supportive, and constructive comments.

I have a really hard time understanding why anyone would feel that making harsh, inconsiderate comments to someone who is so clearly at a low point is going to produce any good. If you do, then i'd like to pass on my deepest condolences to your ability to be human.

that wasn't a harsh comment... i'm just stating that there are worse problems out there then ance, much worse. ACTUAL REAL problems that fuck up your life in so many other ways then you can imagine OR in so many ways that acne ever could. i was just like this kid, mopping around about my face... but that was BEFORE i got smacked in a face with a thing called REAL life & REAL problems.

it makes me so SICK about how ungreatful about life some people are in here, and how much freedom they have, and how many opportunities they have to look forward to and here's this kid, crying about acne. get the fuck over it.

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Magic, I'm just going to remind you that this is the Emotional and Psychological Effects of Acne forum, where if members ARE going to bitch about acne, then this is the place for them to do it. Please don't ridicule other members for choosing to share their emotions about acne in a forum that is designed for exactly that. There are other ways of saying "Hey, it could be worse" that don't include berating someone.

Thank you.

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that wasn't a harsh comment... i'm just stating that there are worse problems out there then ance, much worse. ACTUAL REAL problems that fuck up your life in so many other ways then you can imagine OR in so many ways that acne ever could. i was just like this kid, mopping around about my face... but that was BEFORE i got smacked in a face with a thing called REAL life & REAL problems.

  1. severe acne is an ACTUAL REAL problem whether you have it or not
  2. i have other ACTUAL REAL problems of which i will not go in to, everybody does
  3. you seem very bitter and very ignorant, whatever it is that made you that way, hopefully it gets better

it makes me so SICK about how ungreatful about life some people are in here, and how much freedom they have, and how many opportunities they have to look forward to and here's this kid, crying about acne. get the fuck over it.

how much freedom i have and how much i have to look forward to? nice you know more about me than i do, as you obviously know everything judging by your post. If you could read anything without such a woe-is-me attitude you might see that depression, which you have, can cause people to see their life as the worst and any other situation is filtered to make it seem much better than your own. and as for capitalising REAL LIFE, get over yourself.

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dude, if acne is your only problem, then hell, you're lucky! i'd love your life, i wish acne was my only problem, i've got OTHER REAL MAJOR problems to deal with.

It's interesting that you acknowledge how some things which manifest are REAL MAJOR problems, yet you discount this persons very obvious REAL MAJOR problem with a statement that suggests they're lucky.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Please, exercise some empathy and understanding for other people who are also having a hard time. They're not crying out to instigate flame-wars, this is clearly a cry for supportive, and constructive comments.

I have a really hard time understanding why anyone would feel that making harsh, inconsiderate comments to someone who is so clearly at a low point is going to produce any good. If you do, then i'd like to pass on my deepest condolences to your ability to be human.

that wasn't a harsh comment... i'm just stating that there are worse problems out there then ance, much worse. ACTUAL REAL problems that fuck up your life in so many other ways then you can imagine OR in so many ways that acne ever could. i was just like this kid, mopping around about my face... but that was BEFORE i got smacked in a face with a thing called REAL life & REAL problems.

it makes me so SICK about how ungreatful about life some people are in here, and how much freedom they have, and how many opportunities they have to look forward to and here's this kid, crying about acne. get the fuck over it.

Speaking as someone whose lost everything AND suffered acne in the past, my really bad problems and suicidal tendencies started before and continued after acne.

maybe acne is the ony thing that the poster is willing to go into at this time, on this forum

but trust me, when you're going to off yourself usually acne isn't the only issue, it may however be the straw that broke the camel's back.

i'm DISGUSTED you chose to respond like that you could have asked about if there are other factors.

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Why can't severe acne be the only reason why someone wants to kill themself? Severe acne can ruin every single aspect of your life. If a 1,000 pound man wanted to kill himself, I certainly wouldn't automatically assume it was because of something other than his weight. Severe acne is THAT difficult to deal with for certain people.

Maybe some of you haven't truly experienced severe acne.

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Why can't severe acne be the only reason why someone wants to kill themself? Severe acne can ruin every single aspect of your life. If a 1,000 pound man wanted to kill himself, I certainly wouldn't automatically assume it was because of something other than his weight. Severe acne is THAT difficult to deal with for certain people.

Maybe some of you haven't truly experienced severe acne.

it can totally be a reason, but it can also be one of many reasons. thats the reason why magic dust's comment was so inconsiderate as they assumed and then proceeded to berate.

if ANYONE feels the need to end their life it should be taken seriously. i don't care what the reasoning is. it means that something is wrong and that you need help not a lecture.

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i'm just stating that there are worse problems out there then ance, much worse. ACTUAL REAL problems that fuck up your life in so many other ways then you can imagine OR in so many ways that acne ever could. i was just like this kid, mopping around about my face... but that was BEFORE i got smacked in a face with a thing called REAL life & REAL problems.

it makes me so SICK about how ungreatful about life some people are in here, and how much freedom they have, and how many opportunities they have to look forward to and here's this kid, crying about acne. get the fuck over it.

Stop pulling so much turgid, assumptive bullshit from out of your arse. For those of you too sickened by the original post I have translated it so you'll able to read it without wanting to vomit up your entire organ system:

BLAH BLAH SELF-RIGHTEOUS TWATTERY BLAH BLAH MY EMOTIONAL PAIN IS SUPERIOR TO YOURS BLAH BLAH I THINK I'M WISE AND MATURE BECAUSE I DO MY OWN SHOPPING BLAH BLAH

BDD patients are 45% more likely to commit suicide than regular depressives.

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i'm just stating that there are worse problems out there then ance, much worse. ACTUAL REAL problems that fuck up your life in so many other ways then you can imagine OR in so many ways that acne ever could. i was just like this kid, mopping around about my face... but that was BEFORE i got smacked in a face with a thing called REAL life & REAL problems.

it makes me so SICK about how ungreatful about life some people are in here, and how much freedom they have, and how many opportunities they have to look forward to and here's this kid, crying about acne. get the fuck over it.

Stop pulling so much turgid, assumptive bullshit from out of your arse. For those of you too sickened by the original post I have translated it so you'll able to read it without wanting to vomit up your entire organ system:

BLAH BLAH SELF-RIGHTEOUS TWATTERY BLAH BLAH MY EMOTIONAL PAIN IS SUPERIOR TO YOURS BLAH BLAH I THINK I'M WISE AND MATURE BECAUSE I DO MY OWN SHOPPING BLAH BLAH

BDD patients are 45% more likely to commit suicide than regular depressives.

You put it perfectly :dance:

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i'm just stating that there are worse problems out there then ance, much worse. ACTUAL REAL problems that fuck up your life in so many other ways then you can imagine OR in so many ways that acne ever could. i was just like this kid, mopping around about my face... but that was BEFORE i got smacked in a face with a thing called REAL life & REAL problems.

it makes me so SICK about how ungreatful about life some people are in here, and how much freedom they have, and how many opportunities they have to look forward to and here's this kid, crying about acne. get the fuck over it.

Stop pulling so much turgid, assumptive bullshit from out of your arse. For those of you too sickened by the original post I have translated it so you'll able to read it without wanting to vomit up your entire organ system:

BLAH BLAH SELF-RIGHTEOUS TWATTERY BLAH BLAH MY EMOTIONAL PAIN IS SUPERIOR TO YOURS BLAH BLAH I THINK I'M WISE AND MATURE BECAUSE I DO MY OWN SHOPPING BLAH BLAH

BDD patients are 45% more likely to commit suicide than regular depressives.

thank you for writing that :)

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Well, gettin back to topic, I hope you can overcome everything you are going through. I know it sounds cliche, but things do get better, and sometimes it has to come from within. Sit down, by yourself and consider what you can do to improve your reality. Take up a sport? A support group? Join a specific group with people who are going through similiar problems as you. I remember when I was struggling with life and sexuality, I joined a gay group and it completely helped me through my tough times. Just remember that you have a whole bunch of people here that care for you and want you alive. Life is full of hard times. This is one example of it. And screw all the bullies. Concentrate on the people you can communicate to, whether it be people online or in real life. I know it's hard to do than to say but you have my full support. I know how you feel about acne though. My body acne is so horrible. All these scars have like literally scarred me for life! But i try to remember that acne doesn't rule me. I rule me! And you rule you! You must have beautiful qualities that people must love. So, stay strong!

Love,

Cindy

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As much as I agree with everyone's feelings regarding Magic Dust's post, perhaps everyone should move away from it and continue to try and help the original poster? :D?

EDIT: Above post got to it before me. ^.^

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Ill just wait it out till i get accutane, though every day is SERIOUSLY shit, reaaaaaly fucking shit, im not talking about the acne so much as the effects. The worst is that i dont even know a single girl, i mean i havent got a SINGLE friend that is a girl, every other kid around me does and i just feel like a pathetic piece of shit, Although with other males im fine at socialising and am confident with girls its a no-go area, some of my alledged freinds are smug about it too. fuck I suck at life big time.

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Ill just wait it out till i get accutane, though every day is SERIOUSLY shit, reaaaaaly fucking shit, im not talking about the acne so much as the effects. The worst is that i dont even know a single girl, i mean i havent got a SINGLE friend that is a girl, every other kid around me does and i just feel like a pathetic piece of shit, Although with other males im fine at socialising and am confident with girls its a no-go area, some of my alledged freinds are smug about it too. fuck I suck at life big time.

all you can do is take it one day at a time. thats what i do. instead of thinking and worrying about tomorrow just think...what am i going to do today? don't make your "to do" list any more specific than that. Its the only way to go on these things and it will help you focus on who you as a person and not a "goal"

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Ill just wait it out till i get accutane, though every day is SERIOUSLY shit, reaaaaaly fucking shit, im not talking about the acne so much as the effects. The worst is that i dont even know a single girl, i mean i havent got a SINGLE friend that is a girl, every other kid around me does and i just feel like a pathetic piece of shit, Although with other males im fine at socialising and am confident with girls its a no-go area, some of my alledged freinds are smug about it too. fuck I suck at life big time.

i know in highschool (or wherever u r when ur 15) girl/boy relations are a big deal. however if u look around this forum, where u dont see people's faces and nobody really knows each other, girls and guys share similar issues, laugh at the same stuff and go thru the same pain and insecurity. Many girls have responded to your post and were touched by what u r goin thru (including myself)

maybe if u thought of the girls around you as people first, and then girls, contact would be easier. im not saying girls and guys are the same, but if you take away the stereotypes of male/female that we were brought up with, we really are not as different as u think.

and btw rusalka 4 mod!!

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FIrst off im going to have to say im sorry and fuck this society we live in. Everyone is so concerned about self-righteousness, no one really worrys about self-realization. I am going to have to say you need GOD in your life, diseases/pain help us realize we are alive, its a way for our soul to show us that we are not living the lives we were meant to live. Understand??

Science is trying to prove God wrong, well lets just look at all the great prohpocies in the bible that have come true, The Bible isn't just an old book a bunch of "old dudes" wrote, it is a book that helps us to reach a state that i like to call "enlightenment."

Just look at the Society we live in, subliminal messages of wealth, greed, violence, murder, sinning, and evil. And now they are trying to take God out of everything, its getting ridiculous.

Now i am 18, i lived without the Lord's Guidance for way too long, i was a heavy church goer when i was younger but once i hit about 12, church was out of the picture, instead i wanted to have "fun" or what society subliminally teaches us is "fun." I have had terrible scarring acne for over 5 years, and now that i realize i have been "blessed" with acne to get out of the "trance i was in" If i didnt have acne and my life was perfect, God would probably be the last thing on my mind.

And don't ask god for material needs or material wants, ask god for guidance to a happier better life, time is of the essence, TRUST ME.

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Science is trying to prove God wrong, well lets just look at all the great prohpocies in the bible that have come true, The Bible isn't just an old book a bunch of "old dudes" wrote, it is a book that helps us to reach a state that i like to call "enlightenment."

Thats what you think. I think it helps us reach a state called "self delusion"

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FIrst off im going to have to say im sorry and fuck this society we live in. Everyone is so concerned about self-righteousness, no one really worrys about self-realization. I am going to have to say you need GOD in your life, diseases/pain help us realize we are alive, its a way for our soul to show us that we are not living the lives we were meant to live. Understand??

Science is trying to prove God wrong, well lets just look at all the great prohpocies in the bible that have come true, The Bible isn't just an old book a bunch of "old dudes" wrote, it is a book that helps us to reach a state that i like to call "enlightenment."

Just look at the Society we live in, subliminal messages of wealth, greed, violence, murder, sinning, and evil. And now they are trying to take God out of everything, its getting ridiculous.

Now i am 18, i lived without the Lord's Guidance for way too long, i was a heavy church goer when i was younger but once i hit about 12, church was out of the picture, instead i wanted to have "fun" or what society subliminally teaches us is "fun." I have had terrible scarring acne for over 5 years, and now that i realize i have been "blessed" with acne to get out of the "trance i was in" If i didnt have acne and my life was perfect, God would probably be the last thing on my mind.

And don't ask god for material needs or material wants, ask god for guidance to a happier better life, time is of the essence, TRUST ME.

you are about one second for being reported for being a dumbass and not reading the previous posts requesting you keep god OUT of this topic.

thanks so much. now GTFO

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i know in highschool (or wherever u r when ur 15) girl/boy relations are a big deal. however if u look around this forum, where u dont see people's faces and nobody really knows each other, girls and guys share similar issues, laugh at the same stuff and go thru the same pain and insecurity. Many girls have responded to your post and were touched by what u r goin thru (including myself)

maybe if u thought of the girls around you as people first, and then girls, contact would be easier. im not saying girls and guys are the same, but if you take away the stereotypes of male/female that we were brought up with, we really are not as different as u think.

Thanks for that, excellent advice

and btw rusalka 4 mod!!

Agreed :surprised:

First off im going to have to say im sorry and fuck this society we live in. Everyone is so concerned about self-righteousness, no one really worrys about self-realization.

Its not self realization so much as religion, and i disagree, they do worry about it, alot.

I am going to have to say you need GOD in your life, diseases/pain help us realize we are alive, its a way for our soul to show us that we are not living the lives we were meant to live. Understand??

As much as believing in an eternal resting place, purpose in life and punishment for the evil would comfort me, god killing people, advocating rape and its obvious invention does'nt.

Death for Cursing Parents

1) If one curses his father or mother, his lamp will go out at the coming of darkness. (Proverbs 20:20 NAB)

2) All who curse their father or mother must be put to death. They are guilty of a capital offense. (Leviticus 20:9 NLT)

Death to Followers of Other Religions

Whoever sacrifices to any god, except the Lord alone, shall be doomed. (Exodus 22:19 NAB)

Laws of Rape (Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NLT)

If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her

Death to the Rape Victim (Deuteronomy 22:23-24 NAB)

If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.

Science is trying to prove God wrong, well lets just look at all the great prohpocies in the bible that have come true, The Bible isn't just an old book a bunch of "old dudes" wrote, it is a book that helps us to reach a state that i like to call "enlightenment."

Science isnt, logic is. and what prophecies exactly?

Just look at the Society we live in, subliminal messages of wealth, greed, violence, murder, sinning, and evil. And now they are trying to take God out of everything, its getting ridiculous.

Ill take it your using the term "subliminal message" as a metaphor as in its proper sense this is ridiculous, humans will always be violent so long as its within their capacity to do so. Even the controlling "thou shalt go to hell" commands issued out wont stop that.

Now i am 18, i lived without the Lord's Guidance for way too long, i was a heavy church goer when i was younger but once i hit about 12, church was out of the picture, instead i wanted to have "fun" or what society subliminally teaches us is "fun."

That is absolutely shocking, having fun is strictly against god.

I have had terrible scarring acne for over 5 years, and now that i realize i have been "blessed" with acne to get out of the "trance i was in" If i didnt have acne and my life was perfect, God would probably be the last thing on my mind.

You were having fun so god gave you bad acne and horrible scars to go with it so you could worship him. HOW CAN YOU EVEN, IN SOME SMALL SMALL WAY, SEE THIS AS REMOTELY, INSIGNIFICANTLY MICROSCOPICALLY JUSTIFIED? Does he give rapists acne? Oh wait he advocates that.

Im sorry about your scars, seriously i am, i am not trying to insult you but it confounds me as to how you can think this way, there is a fine line between optimism and ignorance.

And don't ask god for material needs or material wants, ask god for guidance to a happier better life, time is of the essence, TRUST ME.

Assuming he existed, the only thing i could ever want from him was for him to stand down.

Although i dont agree, i appreciate that you posted here as it was only out of kindness and i do understand that.

Megapost

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Almost any way a person writes on this topic is going to sound overly righteous and "I suffer more than anyone". However, we can (or should) only talk based off of our own experiences. So this is a conflict of interests. I will attempt to tell my story with as little woe is me-ness as possible.

My acne started when I was around 8 but it wasn't major. However by the time I was 11 it was a different story. I'm 22 now and still dealing with it. Hopefully I will grow out of it however, (sighs) I don't want to put out false hope.

Suicide and other forms of violence is something I'm well equated with. While I wouldn't say acne was the direct cause of these choices, it was a major nail in the coffin, so to speak.

At 15 I was in a very abusive relationship where physical, emotional, and psychological trauma were very vivid. (Some at this point would be asking about my parents and I can safely say that my step father didn't rate me important enough to consider a conversation and while my mother loves me dearly, she knew that if she forced laws upon the situation I would've run away and probably never come back, making things worse. I take full responsibility for my actions. End of argument.)

By 16 I was addicted to narcotics and taking them daily to escape both physical and emotional pain. I dropped out of school at 10th grade and moved around probably 6 times in two years. Attempted suicide 2 times by way of overdosing and wrist slitting.

End of my 17th year I ended the first abusive relationship and started to get harassed by my ex daily. Became more withdrawn and started abusing heavier drugs. At 18 I was raped for the second time and began my trip with illegal drugs and massive amounts of alcohol. From the time I was 18 until 21 I was dating a drug dealer who was related by blood to the biggest family run gang in southern California. At the end of my 21st year I had been using heroin for almost 11 months combined with the following: Vicodin, Soma, Dillauded, Xanax, Robaxin, Ms Contin, Oxy Contin, Parafon Forte, Valium, Demmoral, Dillantin, ect.

In February of last year I attempted suicide again for the 5th time by cutting the cartoid (neck) artery, radial (wrist) artery, femoral (inner thigh) artery, and brachial (under the shoulder) artery. I did this while taking all of the above mentioned drugs along with vodka and tequila. Ironically, the only reason I survived was that with all the drugs I was on my blood became ultra thick and my heart was beating at only 12 beats a minute. It simply didn't have enough power to pump out ultra coagulated (thick) blood.

So, long story short I do understand where the author of this post and others are coming from. Granted everything I just wrote above eclipses acne issues however, I feel that if I hadn't had acne as bad as I did, my self confidence would've been better and I wouldn't have felt the need to de-value myself in these situations.

I still sometimes don't know if I've made it out all right. Many would say I have and a lot of times I would agree with them. I'm off all of the drugs, which I quit cold turkey with no added prescriptions to ease me down. I drink way way less and I'm no longer thinking of suicide anytime soon, (barring discovering some terminal disease, but that's a VERY different discussion.)

However there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes. Because of my relationships with lovers, my parents, myself, others I have a lot of anger and rage. Sometimes I can stay rational and tell myself it's over and I have a different life. Sometimes I can't. I often wonder how people can stand to be around me when I want to claw out of my own skin more often than I can count. Also there's a lot of physical side effects that very few know. During my younger (15ish) days I had to have an abortion which almost lead to uterus and ovarian cancer. That abortion has more or less re-arranged my insides as a woman and now many things are no longer possible for me. I do not denounce abortion, on the contrary. It can be a wonderful solution to some truly horrible nightmares. Just make sure you know all the facts and consequences.

Finally, acne is horrible, without question. Being a teenager no matter what sex or race is a complete bitch. And sometimes people go out of their way to be cruel to those whom deserve it least, absolutely. However being a teenager doesn't last forever. You will be an adult much longer than you will be a teenager/child. Also, even though over a million or so people have acne, there are several billion who don't. Odds are you're going to grow out of it or at least be able to control it some. What I hated about acne was the feeling of helplessness. So my advice is to do something where it puts you in charge, maybe getting a part time job, putting together a project, even a band. Music is my absolute love and I wouldn't trade it for anything, maybe it will be the same for you.

The best revenge is a fully lived life,

Eryka

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