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Other people's reactions

Just thinking out loud really, sorry for the long post.

So anyway, last night I headed out for a drink with a friend of mine. I always arrange to meet people in dimly lit places – and I’ve only consciously realised this in the last few months – and I almost always travel on my own. I sit on the bus, which is always horribly brightly lit, but I always have a book or a newspaper to hide behind. And I quite like spending time on my own, and tend to drift off and not really worry too much about what I look like.

But having started the BP regimen last Monday, obviously, it’s on my mind more than usual. Plus, I know I’m peeling and red and weird looking, having just checked in the mirror on the way out. This is fine, I read the What To Expect page, and I’m not about to wimp out because of what looks like sunburn.

So I get on the bus, and two people start waving and calling me over. This is Lee (looks like Orlando Bloom) and Anna (looks like Audrey Hepburn). These are people I don’t know all that well, as only ever see them at parties or clubs, where of course, the lighting is. . . kinder.

These two people are far too nice to actually say anything, but I can see Lee in particular looking at me (looks like Freddie Kruger) with concern. I felt a bit self conscious I have to say.

I get to the bar, and my mate who I was going to meet and have known for years was, funnily enough easier to deal with. “Fuck, John, you look grim. Is it another face treatment?� “Yeah,� I say. “Well, it’s definitely doing something this time, innit?�

Funny, I wasn’t bothered after that. It was just the low-level surprise on the faces of the people on the bus that bothered me. Funny, cause they didn’t, nor do I think would they ever, say anything unpleasant about it.

That’s what I hate most about my condition – for people who don’t understand what it is, I think I just look terribly ill. Whereas my mate who I've talked to a lot about it. . . just doesn't do that misplaced concern thing. Which is good.

I went to Prague last year, gloomy, dark gothic place that it is. I think I’ll move there if my face doesn’t improve. smile.gif

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lol, yes Prague is a bit depressing isn't it?

I get upset by people's reactions too - well my face is OK now so it doesn't happen so much, but I used to - but think about how you react when you see someone with something wrong with their face - you don't really care/notice too much, right? I think we tend to overanalyse every little thing, if someone glances at your cheek you think they're checking out the zit there, even though it's entirely possible they haven't even noticed. Or they think, "holy, poor guy, he got a sunburn". Or, "did he just get back from somewhere hot?" Or, "I wonder why his face is red - oh well, who cares."

Give it a month and you'll be looking back on this with something akin to humour.

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No problem.

1/ I took quite a long time to get clear - about 4 months.

2/ I had to add in salicylic acid (2%), which I use in the evening. A lot of people have bad reactions when they combine SA & BP, but it works for me like a charm. Now I break out around my period (a little bit, nothing like before) but other than that I have red marks which are gradually fading.

3/ I follow this routine religiously (wash, BP, sunblock in the am, wash, SA then BP in the evening) no matter how late I get home or how drunk I am, lol.

I actually hated Prague - have you been to Slovenia? I liked it much better there. Tourists annoy me, and Prague is full of loud rude tourists. I didn't feel particularly tan or gorgeous there - the place where I felt like a California girl was Glasgow, the home of the pasty and malnourished. O:)

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I was born in Prague, so it's my favorite city. =) There are lots of other good cities in the Czech Republic to check out as well like Olomouc or Zlin.

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I was in a little town called Havlickuv Brod & I liked it there. Prague weirded me out though. Admittedly I was there on Sept 11th, 2001, which probably didn't help.

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