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Perfectskin

I am sick of those sneaky little glances...

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I am 35. I first noticed scarring on my cheeks when I was 26. I always wear my hair down. I am female. It would be an ecstatic experience for me to wear a ponytail. Wearing my hair over my face is annoying. Plus, I have an interest in acting. An actor with acne scarring is kind of like a pianist with a missing finger. Acting is about the face. You need to be able to wear your hair off your face. People often think I am younger than I am, which is a good thing. Recently somebody asked if I was 22. I don't drink or smoke and am a vegetarian. My only vice would be junk food...occasionally...and friend tofu. People also tell me that I am 'beautiful', 'gorgeous' and should be a 'model'. These are things that have been said to me, I am not saying these things about myself. My skin is a nightmare. I have rolling scars on my cheeks. I rarely get a pimple these days. I have hardly any wrinkles for my age. I did have collagen injections around four months ago. I was reasonably happy with the results, and even flicked my hair off the right side of my face on the odd occasion, which is a big step for me. What I really hate is the sneaky little glances that people give when they don't think you are looking. Or even when you are looking into their eyes and their eyes are trying to slide up behind your hair if the angle of the light is not right or something. The collagen injections have pretty much worn off and I will get more soon. I am planning to get Fraxel this year and maybe a Green Peel/needling/skin rolling next year. Collagen is not permanent, nor a perfect result, but still made me feel a lot better about my skin while it lasted. On one side I would say there was at least a 50% improvement. On the other side a 90% improvement. But I also want to do things that improve my skin permanently. I think I will do the collagen injections every four months, as it is only after four months that I'm really beginning to feel down about my skin again. I am annoyed that a particular work colleague keeps giving these sneaky glances to my skin. I have also lost a couple of kilos lately (not really intentional), so there is probably less plumpness to my skin. (I am pretty slim as it is, but I do notice my skin can look better if it is more plump.) I really do believe in the raw food diet and am trying to be as raw as I can. A lot of raw foodists have beautiful skin (as long as they are balanced raw foodists) - check out www.rawfoodtalk.com, www.rawfood.com, www.shazzie.com, www.living-foods.com etc. They are healing from the inside, but that takes time. It may be a year or so before I see any real results there. Scars are a pain in the neck. Luckily I am in a happy relationship, and my boyfriend doesn't seem to notice them. But, they make life hard for me. Sometimes just walking down the street is hard if the wind is blowing my hair off my face and the sun is shining. It sounds so crazy, but it has really been a cross to bear. I think scars on guys are more acceptable, but I know that it is painful for both guys and girls.

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Hey just wanted to say that I know how you feel! I still have active acne (unfortunately) that will hopefully go away soon, but I have a face full of red marks/scars too. :( What made me want to respond is that I also love acting and I try to do as much as I can, but I know how you feel - it's abou the face! But not necessarily stage acting, which is somewhat nice. It sucks having acne and being an actor/tress.

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wishingiwasfree... it is so sad. i've always wanted to act. and i'm a good actor. but i now won't wear my hair off my face. i am going for a short film audition in a few days. it is kind of a futile exercise. i did extra work on a movie and had all of my hair scraped off my face (played a policewoman). that was torturous. i think that if i always wore my hair off my face, people would get used to it, but the fact that i don't means that people kind of want to find fault, because i am trying to hide it. somebody said in another post about scarring making you more vain. it is true for me. i tend to put a lot of effort into my hair, clothes, make-up, as a way of compensation. if i didn't have the scarring i'd have total confidence in the way i look. some men do still find me attractive at some level. today a cute guy called me 'babe' etc. but the thing is i feel like i'm living a lie. in the right light my skin can look good. it's just in the wrong light, my cover is blown. the worst thing is the lights on a film set. how horrible it would be if i did the short film, and the lights showed up my scars in the worst possible light. why i am even putting myself through this? i do believe anything is possible though. i believe it is possible to have beautiful skin one day. i hope you do more acting. scars just waste our time. think of all of the energy and money we waste dealing with them. how i envy people with perfect skin. life must be so easy for them, and they don't even know it.

weedman. i doubt it. he's 27 and married. unfortunately paranoia can be a side effect of acne scarring though.

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Wow that's so cool about your acting! And an audition coming up! Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great. I wore my hair in my face pretty much all summer as Accutane made my face a million times worse. I'm on the right track, though, now. But I'm not even half way through the course.

But I totally know what you mean about it making you vain. I feel so self absorbed, but it's like an obsession and I just can't let it go. I mean, even though I cringe when I look in mirrors, I still do, you know? Please don't give up acting! It's so great, even with acne (or scars)

Good luck on your audition!

~Bethany

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Guest delta force operators
doesnt brad pitt have scarring on his cheeks?
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You know, I have really bad scars. And a lot of them are pitted AND still red, and many of them are clustered together so they are very noticeable. They are really bad on my right jawline and in the middle of my left cheek. But I still wear my hair in a ponytail. Because I like having my hair up. Yes, I'm somewhat self conscious. Yes, I see the glances people make sometimes. But I just choose to not care. I'm still a pretty person even if my skin isn't perfect. And yeah people will notice but they aren't going to focus on it like I do. Just live your life. Be happy with yourself. I try to think of my scars in a positive way. I got them when I went through a divorce and a bad time in my life. So they are a part of me and they are just who I am. It helps me to accept them and to not focus so much on them. Sure I have my moments where I freak out and start to get upset, and wish I had smooth skin like I used to, but I force myself to stop thinking like that and to just get on with my life.

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I have significant and obvious scarring on both cheeks. I am talking boxcars that are 3 or more millimeters deep and 4mm wide. With age, my icepick scars have become boxcars.

No one really focuses on my scars more than I do. I doubt the guy was looking at your 'scars'. No doubt he thought you attractive.

I am attractive, scarring or not. I wear my hair completely off my face in a headband sometimes. I actually get compliments when I do that.

Don't be scared of wearing your hair back. Sounds like you're too self-conscious over something that no one else really notices. Forget the scars, enjoy yourself.

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I am going to go through a few treatments first before I get to the stage of wearing my hair off my face. Maybe I will clip it on one side for the audition.

Once I was told I looked like Audrey Hepburn when I wore my hair off my face (except I'm blonde). It definitely is a flattering look.

I was once told by someone that I have the best skin they have ever seen. She had eyesight problems though. One of the side effects of all of our efforts is that we often take a lot more care of our skin than the average person.

I am trying to cleanse my body once a week - eating just fruit and vegetables...and drinking juices, wheatgrass juice etc. That always makes my skin look better.

After a lot of experimentation, I have found that mineral make-up makes my skin look the best. I use Inika (an Australian brand), as well as a dusting of Jurlique Silk Dust (also Australian) which keeps the face matt and minimises the look of pores.

I think the skin issues do make us more vain. Otherwise we could just throw our hair in a pony tail and not even look in the mirror before we go out. I mean, I'm not excessively vain, just more so than I would have been. I have a strong sense of spirituality (not religious) and believe my spirit will exist beyond this life, forever evolving. I won't always have this face or this skin. When I smile, my skin looks better, as my cheeks are plumping up the skin. If I smile and wear my hair down, my skin looks normal in most light. But I can't smile all the time.

I had a dream the other night. There was some club that got together regularly. They all wore yellow outfits, and short blue bobbed wigs. I was worrying about wearing the wig, and my skin issues, even in my dream. (I do have some pretty trippy dreams though. The other night I dreamt that a horse with a human head was playing tennis.)

Thoughts are important. I try to not hate my skin. I try to replace negative thoughts with 'My skin is perfectly smooth' or whatever. I may put a skin visualisation on CD. I don't want to focus too much on my imperfections, but on what I like about my skin. What you focus on grows. I am trying to use the mantra 'Smooth' when I apply skincare products or make-up.

I wonder why we have skin problems. Is it genetic? Is it diet? Is it the physical result of emotional scarring from my childhood? Is it because my mother smoked during her pregnancy? Is it because I wasn't breastfed? Who knows.

I know it is important to love ourselves and develop our self esteem. People with high self esteem don't focus on their flaws so much. Those with low self esteem will focus on imperfections and magnify them.

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...I know it is important to love ourselves and develop our self esteem. People with high self esteem don't focus on their flaws so much. Those with low self esteem will focus on imperfections and magnify them.
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The thing is I'm not unhappy. I find joy in a lot of things. I love life.

These skin issues do give people a lot of pain. I can tell that by reading posts on this board. To deny that would not be authentic. You can't pretend pain away. I like to be well-groomed. That's just me. I would just feel more free without the skin stuff being an issue.

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I am also saying one does not have to wallow in self-disgust. I'm not saying you are doing that, but some do. In those cases, it takes effort and sometimes medication to get on an even keel again.

Of course acne causes emotional pain. Of course scars cause emotional pain. But one CAN get beyond the emotional pain. I have. Others can, too.

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That is great that you feel good about yourself, irregardless of your skin condition. Others' attitudes to us often mirrors our attitude towards ourself. Personally I am not at all interested in the medication route though. I don't take any prescription drugs and wouldn't unless it was absolutely mandatory. I put collagen injections in that camp. Obviously my skin doesn't produce collagen properly, so it makes sense to inject more (Cosmoderm). I study naturopathy part time. I want to heal myself physically, mentally and spiritually the best way I know how. Evolution is a never-ending process. Eveyone's skin condition is different. I can't walk in someone else's shoes. I'm sure everyone is doing their best to move forward. People cope with trauma/difficulties differently. Some people are more sensitive than others. I hope everyone on this board experiences amazing improvements/healing to their skin.

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Wasnt there a huge thread about some famous young actress who didnt give us her name but posted on this forum about how even as a hollywood star she has to still battle severe acne problems?

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Very weird someone would put this into words what I have noticed also. Like some people it seems try to catch you at a bad angle and stare. Very rude kind of but on the other hand, my neice, who I hadn't seen in ages had gotten some scarring on her once perfect but still beautiful face. I was kinda trying to access the damage and give her a bit of advice but every time I tried to get a good look at her face from the side, she quickly would look at me and move so I couldn't really get a look . She is young and I think some of the scarring should smooth out a bit since they seemed to still be a bit red. BUT ok here, I have scarring too and while I try to be seen in good lighting at a good angle... etc... I just let people look if they want since I feel pretty good about myself overall. I don't think we should be hiding our faces cause of a few scars. :ninja:

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you are 35 and female and you havnt made it big yet and you want to be an actress?i dont care if you had perfect skin your chances of making it big in hollywood are pretty slim.5 years from now you will be 40 and 40 plus actress are not in demand unless you have been big for years and some like sharon stone just arnt getting the parts they were when they were younger.im not saying it cant be done but the odds are against you.hollywood is all glamour and glitz.maybe if you have sex with a big name director or producer...it might help your chances.the acne scarring only makes your chances worse.try a career in the business field or some field where looks arnt as important for an aging soon to be middle aged woman.

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you are 35 and female and you havnt made it big yet and you want to be an actress?i dont care if you had perfect skin your chances of making it big in hollywood are pretty slim.5 years from now you will be 40 and 40 plus actress are not in demand unless you have been big for years and some like sharon stone just arnt getting the parts they were when they were younger.im not saying it cant be done but the odds are against you.hollywood is all glamour and glitz.maybe if you have sex with a big name director or producer...it might help your chances.the acne scarring only makes your chances worse.try a career in the business field or some field where looks arnt as important for an aging soon to be middle aged woman.

Nikki's right. Of course it really just depends on your motives. Stage acting is probably a better bet, plus IMO, some of the greatest actors are primarily involved in stage.

Another thing... I'm really curious to know how "bad" your scars are. If people actually compliment you on your face, beauty, AND your skin... why do you feel so low about it?

I bet the scars are so superficial.

See, I've been told I'm "beautiful" but I definitely know it's not because of my skin. No one has EVER complimented that. I'd say it's a good thing, if even that one person complimented your skin.

It's just a little annoying when people make these kind of posts, "I am so deformed. But please, do reassure me that I'm gorgeous, because even though I know I am beautiful, I want to keep reassuring others and myself that I am deformed, accept I ALSO want the reassurance that I am indeed, beautiful. Please, tell me something positive?"

I hope I didn't insult or confuse, but to sum it up:

1. You're intelligent

2. You're beautiful

3. You're healthy!

4. You're in a great relationship

5. You are complimented all the time.

6. You've got a good job, whatever it is.

7. You're so lucky...

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christpunchers...the only ones i can think of that might have posted if indeed they were famous would have been mandy moore,britney spears or jessica simpson and maybe kelly clarkson.i know spears and moore spends time on the net.who knows who it was.

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mellow_yellow. No, I didn't major in Psychology, Philosophy or English. But I have written plays etc and am very interested in reading about philosophy/spirituality/psychology.

tryingstill. Sometimes if someone's staring really bugs me, I might find an imperfection on their face and stare at that. There are few people with perfect skin.

nikkigirl. You are making a few assumptions. One, I don't live in America and have no interest in being part of Hollywood. Two, I act because I love it. Not to be famous. I've never said I want to be a big star. Actors of all ages are required. An actor I know is over seventy and he is currently in a film. At 35 I don't feel exactly geriatric yet. Soon to be 'middle-aged' made me snicker. I still go out. I look a lot younger. In the last two years I've had two people think I was 22...one being a 23 year old guy trying to pick me up. I look a lot younger than I am because I eat a diet high in raw vegan food. Raw vegans always look a lot younger. I plan on looking better and healthier every year. I am youthing. Well, at least that's what I said to someone who said I don't age. They say that the worse years for a female actress (in terms of getting work) are the early thirties. Competition in the twenties is fierce. Women start getting more work in their late thirties. It all depends on what industry you are in. I work and am studying to be a naturopath. Acting is an adjunct to that. I do it because I love it.

bulletprooffaces. Look, I know what you mean. People with body dysmorphic disorder saying 'Oh, I'm disfigured', and they have one pore slightly larger than the rest or something. There have been times I've caught public transport home instead of walking because it was windy and my hair was blowing everywhere.

On Friday night I had Esthelis injections - half a mL of hyaluronic acid. It cost $290. I paid $820 when I had collagen injections (Cosmoderm) 5 months ago. I am happy with the price and extremely happy with the result. I will go back every three months. He reckons my skin will be normal within a couple of years. He does Collagenesis (skin rolling). I am going to try Fraxel. Maybe a green peel. Maybe skin needling.

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omg...why are you here cryin' the blues!this isnt a forum for how young you say you look or how beautiful you are.you are getting older and you not a spring chicken anymore.i guess jlo and gwen stephani are older than you but it gets hard finding work anywhere for 35+ year olds.

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I am an actor and i have no trouble getting work with my skin issues (scarring)... i just suck it in , lift my chin and all is fine.

I guess cause ive been in the industry for for over 15 yrs i have a rep.. if you are trying to break into the scene i agree it would be hard.

keep you chin up, youll be right :)

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wow nikkigirl. you have such a bad vibe. you can turn anything into a negative. love, spiritually speaking, i believe i am an eternal being. i am not fearful of leaving this planet, or that i have only 70 odd years and i am forever snuffed out. being young, and old all have their place and their beauty. when i'm 80 i hope i'm doing a degree in maths and reading all the books i haven't have had time to read when i was younger. i don't feel 'age' as much as you or have the fear and associated beliefs attached to it. phrases like 'you (sic) not a spring chicken anymore' are so foreign to me and ridiculous. it is meaningless if you feel you are a continually evolving entity. this is everyone's forum. you are not the forum police. all i do know, is that if i see your name pop up, it will be a negative and nasty comment.

resurectionisneeded. i'm not trying to break into the scene. i've been an actor for years. i'm just not focusing all my energy in that direction. you can act without making money from it. i already work and am studying to be a naturopath. my aim isn't for fame and fortune. it is to act. i love acting...not the glitzy, ephemeral trappings of it. thank you for you advice though. i'm glad you are doing well.

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