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just chill with your mates and try not to feel too down in the dumps about it. I've only had that feeling once and I hated it but just battle through it and try not to see her for a bit.

I used to see my ex every week for about a month and I couldn't get over her. So I just distanced myself and eventually I got over her. Just be patient and at least you'll know whats coming if it happens again.

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No dog everyones advice is welcome. so thank you. Opehelia that was a really good answer tough, thank you very much to everyone who has posted and helped me out.

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Well, at least you've been privileged with the experience of having a woman's embrace.


Someone was bound to say it sometime..

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i had been dating someone for 6 years, we suffered alot of problems and one being trust. we never recovered. for years we would go through what is called the "honeymooning" periods. after an incident that causes trust problems you go through the need to reconnect and things seem to go goood except for the fact that you don't work through the problem and gets shoved under the rug. some people can be like that for a long time and some can't. you have to talk. i know it sounds lame but feelings are very powerful. it's our human nature. we live and trive on it. and if it still doesn't work then learn from it and better urself for the next. my relationship never worked out but there was very extreme other reasons for that. chin up hun.

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Accept that while what you did was technically outside of when you two were going out, she still felt it a betrayal of trust. She could have seen it as a disregard of her feelings to kiss or whatever with another person if youre on a break or just broken up. She'd have been dealing with her own raw emotions by herself while you were out kissing girls, and that isnt a nice feeling for anyone. Not telling her is humiliating and gutting on top, and will have made her paranoid about whether there was more you had kept secret. When someone subconsciously feels that way, the relationships gonna turn corrosive even if on the surface things seem great.

Also, acknowledge that it might not be as much as her thinking you were in the wrong, as her seeing you kissing other girls as you telling her she's inadequate, or an insult to what you two had if you were prepared to go with others so soon. Give her some space. Anyone who asks for space from a relationship should have it unconditionally, and remember shes probably going through mixed emotions right now; of whether it was right to break up, should you get back together etc. And its horrible to hear it, but the easier option to get back together is not necessarily the right one. Do you really believe that to be together now would change how she feels or would it just put a stopper on having to get over one another?

But please, please, please try not to beat yourself up about this too much. You were feeling lonely and dejected, its human nature to want comfort and reassurance and everyone does it, whether its twenty packs of chocolate, twenty beers, twenty kisses or however else people best try and feel better.

From experience, I really dont recommend going on a rebound if it really is over for good though. This is one hell of a cliche, but it doesnt grant you closure, it just fucks up your next relationship for you cos youre still concerned with issues from the previous. Right now you sound like you need emotional closure, and a purely physical relationship wont solve this.

Remember mate, only you know the ins and outs of this fully, you wont get a miracle answer from typing out a paragraph summary, and the best you'll ever get from other people is different advice based on different experiences. Feelings in general are ambiguous, if they weren't we'd all be reading from a foolproof maual and have found our mr and mrs rights by now. I can guarantee that if after alls said you two dont get back together and youre prepared to take it as a learning curve, you WILL move on :)

best of luck, im sorry ive waffled & written half an essay :)

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Thanks paradox and mardy those were really great things you said both made me feel better, good to know theres nice people out there who will help someone they dont even know.

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From a girls view and someone who would be jealous in relationships.., I can see why she cant trust you but at the same time I think she should get over it as well.

First..you guys breaking up first time , you going to other girls was a bad thing yet understandable as how you felt and such , but she thought that you would still be trying to get her back and wouldnt give up that easily on her , some girls would try to test guys or just that something happened and they break up with them yet they love them and they try to see how guys handle it. I would say that she has the right to be mad at you about it and not trusting you after what you've done.

BUT..she is overeacting as well because she broke up and you werent togather when you did that.., so it doesnt mean as you cheating on her..yet it kinda does..which kinda confusing...

I cant say she is wrong or what you did was wrong..., i think both of you are wrong..but you broke her trust..and maybe hurt her more by doing that and its hard for most girls to get over the trust thing..and I think it goes for guys as well.

What I would say..is try to have a good convo with her about it , see if you guys can restart over , take things slowly..step by step and if she doesnt want to get back with you..give her as much time as she needs and show her during that time that she can trust you and that your only for her , even if that means you have to be her friend only to start with.

Hope things work out wtih you guys.

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You were broken up when you kissed the other girl, right. If so, so what? Your ex is really over-reacting. If you do still want her back try some romantic gestures - she may just be wanting you to prove how much you love and want her. Don't give up too soon. How old are you guys by the way?

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