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Berg10

Feeling very down

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I have just had a bad break out. I am 24 in september and so fed up with this condition. I have tried everthing, been to a dermatolgist, had n lite laser treatment and nothing has worked. I just think i have got to learn to live with the condition.

I am not someone who sits at home feeling sorry for themselves. I have been to university, have my own house, a nice car, a good job, travel alot, have good friends and good leisure interests. But i have never had a serious girlfriend i believe as a direct result of this condition. I am so lonely as a reult. People who know me probably dont realize how low i feel because i hide it. I am quite confident around girls and i think that i am generally a nice person with alot going for me but girls just arnt interested. It makes me laugh when girls i like go out with complete idiots who treat them badly and have got nothing going for them at all but they would never date me because of my condition.

I understand that negativity isnt attractive, but i am not negative. So many girls have told me what a funny person i am, everyone tells me i am a flirt. I have asked girls out but why in reality would someone date me when they could be with someone who looks better. I get frustrated that i am judged on something out of my control.

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I feel ya on feeling down about your appearance/skin, Berg10.

I'm 24 and have been dealing with acne since I was 12. And it's hard being a girl and never really feeling pretty. And now even though my skin isn't as bad as it used to be, I have to deal with the scars, which are bad and I know very noticeable. I never see girls with skin like mine, which makes me feel like kind of freak. :) And I do wonder if guys find me attractive regardless of my skin.

But, all that aside, keep your head up about the dating thing. I know it's rough, but don't feel down on yourself for not having a serious girlfriend by your age. You sound like a nice guy and I'm sure you not having a girlfriend has less to do with your skin than you think. Maybe the right girl just hasn't come along. Or maybe you are just meant to meet her a couple years from now. (Healthy) relationships just happen. There is no quota or timeline as to when we should be having these relationships.

And if a girl solely does not date you because of your skin, then f*ck her. She sounds like b*tch. My little brother has pretty bad acne that just came up last year his freshman year of college. And I have a feeling that a girl or two might have been a b*tch to him about it. But my little brother is the kindest and sweetest guy I know and will make a terrific and supporting boyfriend/husband some day. And his skin will eventually clear up, so it will end up being that b*tch's loss!

I don't know if this makes any sense as I'm about to fall asleep. Hope that helps some!

Cheers!

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Hi Berg10!

Never give up and never give in. Remember that the more mature, date worthy girls around your age will not judge someone by acne. The immature ones who make faces (yeah, I've run into guys like this, too!) are losers themselves no matter how much 'stuff' they own or how many other qualities they might happen to have.

Try another dermatologist. Sometimes it takes many different regimens to find the one that works for you.

Remember....when you least expect it, you will meet the woman for you.

I did not believe it. I did meet the man of my dreams. I did not meet him until I was 35. We just got married in May. He is the delight of my life.

But there is no such thing as a soul mate! Many young persons think that there is such a thing. Nope. There are many many women out there who would be compatible with you and would offer a great deal in a relationship.

You sound very down. Try to get out of yourself on occasion. (Avoid the emo forum!) Do things that make you happy. Do things you excel in. If it is as simple as reading a good book, take time to do that. If it is as simple as taking a walk with or without your dog (if you have one), do that. Lose yourself in the moment...that is when you find the happiest times of your life because you aren't concentrating on what's wrong, you're concentrating on this moment, this now, this happy feeling. :D

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Berg,

PrettyLady & Wynne are absolutely right. As girls mature into women (and guys into men) they really do begin to realize that appearance is superficial and that looks are transient and can be changed in an instant. I like to think that physical appearance challenges are a "character screening device". If somebody can't get past what they *think* they see to what really is, well then, they are way too shallow for me to waste my time on.

She's out there somewhere - don't give up. And she'll be so wonderful that it will be totally worth the wait!

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Oddly enough, I looked for guys with bad skin to date because mine was bad too. I wanted someone who'd understand...

Didn't happen, both my ex (husband) & this boyfriend have better skin than I ever could've hoped for.. But, they both fell for me anyhow.

Someone will fall for you.

:D

Hang in there.

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Listen Berg take the advice that these people have given you. I personally believe that there is a reason for everything. In your case "everything" hasn't had a reason to be fullfilled. Keep hope alive my friend.

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if you have bad skin all i can say is good luck hooking up with someone that has clear skin

people have standards unfortunately

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oh but you see until recently i was just like the OP

until i put my foot down and realized that even in adult age my acne wouldn't magically go away and i would have to take drastic lifestyle-altering steps to make it go away or i would be shunned by the majority of society, and in particular the opposite sex :)

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Well, I was married with my acne, & now I live with someone. I had acne when I met both. Cystic acne when I was married.

I'm not exactly a supermodel either..

So, I don't see why you'd have to be all negative & piss all over this thread with it.

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oh but you see until recently i was just like the OP

until i put my foot down and realized that even in adult age my acne wouldn't magically go away and i would have to take drastic lifestyle-altering steps to make it go away or i would be shunned by the majority of society, and in particular the opposite sex :)

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I know how you feel. I'm 26 in a month and female with acne. I personally think it's even worse for girls to have acne because everyone expects them to have porcelain skin without a single flaw or wrinkle, let alone spots (blame the celeb magazines and celeb culture in general). At least men can get away with some "flaws" like wrinkles. They even give them this "personality" thing. Look at Antonio Baderas for example. He still has the charm. His wife (Melanie Griffith) on the contrary, is the ridicule of every magazine with close-ups of her face!

About soulmates, I agree and disagree. If you go to a library and read on the subject of soulmates you will see that there is more than one soulmate for you. So, soulmates do exist but it's not limited to one per person and not necessarily for the duration of your whole life. So, you may even meet your soulmate, get married but later get divorced! lol

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I have asked girls out but why in reality would someone date me when they could be with someone who looks better. I get frustrated that i am judged on something out of my control.
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